Misjudged (7 page)

Ryan looks angry as he appears to be reminiscing
over something, “That poor guy has been dealt the shittiest fucking hand for someone our age. Everything that’s happened has changed him, and not in a good way.”

“In what way?” I still feel like he’s holding something back
, and I wonder if it’s got something to do with a girl. Maybe someone hurt him in the past, and that’s why he doesn’t do the relationship thing. I’m glad
to be finally
getting some answers.

“Alex, it’s
really not my place to say anything. If he wants you know, then he’ll tell you himself.” I see him tapping his fingers on the table. “Just try and forget about what happened between the two of you. It’ll be for the best in the long run.” With that, he stands and heads into his room.

“Are you going to meet with him?” Alyssa speaks up when we see Ryan clos
ing his bedroom door behind him. “Alex, I thought that’s what you guys were talking about, I’m sorry.”

I shrug
at her, “It’s fine. They were bound to figure something out eventually.”

Although I found out that Brandon was in
jail, I have a feeling there’s more to this than how people are perceiving it. Ryan pretty much just confirmed that himself.

***

It’s almost seven o’clock, and as I approach the small opening that leads to the lake, I pause and take a couple of deep breaths. I’m feeling nervous, excited, and anxious. My heart is hammering in my chest almost as fast as it was the last time I was here.

I decided that it would be a
good idea to meet with him. There are so many things I want to know about him, and I’m intrigued as to why he wanted to meet with me.

One.

Two.

Three.

I walk hesitantly through the opening and look around. I blush when my eyes land on the small, grassy area we were both laying on last week, and then I see him. I don’t know why but earlier I had a feeling that he wouldn’t show up.

Stopping myself from walking any further, I watch him for a few moments. He has his back to me, and he’s crossed his arms on top of the stone brick wall in front of him. He’s resting his head on top of them and looking out over the lake.

The lake doesn’t look quite as spectacular as it did under the moonlight, although it may have something to do with the sky being overcast, and the slight rain that has just begun to fall.

Taking a couple of steps closer, I see him
turn his head to the side, before turning back towards the water again, “I wasn’t sure if you’d come,” his voice is calm, as he keeps his focus straight ahead of him.

“I wasn’t sure if I was going to
either, until about thirty minutes ago,” I answer as I take slow steps towards him. Once I’m standing beside him, I notice he takes a deep breath and looks up into the sky, before turning around to face me.

“Wel
l, I’m glad you’re here, Alexis,” his voice is shaky as his eyes meet with mine. “Here, I got you this,” he hands me a takeout cup, and my eyes widen in surprise as he places it into my hand. It’s a caramel macchiato.

He knows they’re my favorite? Okay, I think I’m starting to like him more alre
ady. “How did you know I like these?” I question while raising my eyebrows at him.

“You had one in your
hand yesterday when I asked to talk to you. It’s a kind of peace offering,” he gives me a small smile while placing his hands into the front of his pants’ pockets. “For not being able to beat the shit outta that asshole for the things he said to you yesterday.”

“You were angry with Matt for the things he said about me?” I
throw him a perplexed look, before taking a sip of my drink. It’s still warm and I let out a sound of satisfaction when I taste it.

He raises his eyebrows
and grins in amusement, “Good?” My God, he’s beautiful. I roam my eyes over him, and notice my pulse quicken when we make eye contact. His eyes look saddened, and I notice his lips drawing into a small frown.

“Why did you ask me to come?” The rain is getting heavier, and the wind is picking up, wh
ich makes me shiver slightly. I really wish I’d worn my jacket.

He eyes me warily,
“I saw the look on your face before I walked away yesterday, and I didn’t want you to judge me on what other people are saying.”

“
Why does it matter what I think anyway?” My voice is serious and I’m starting to feel confused again. I refuse to leave here before I know more. “Do you ask all the girls you—?”

“This is different,” h
is lips have formed into a tight line, and I see the brightness in his eyes beginning to fade. “You know, I almost didn’t come here, either.” He lets out a sigh, and then walks over to the little building on the bank of the lake.

I
go to sit beside him, and shiver when the wind and rain pick up. I notice from the corner of my eye that he’s shaking his head, and when I face him, he’s already shrugged out of his jacket and is trying to wrap it around my shoulders.

“No, I’m fine,
” I shake my head as I try to hand it back, but the stern look he is giving me reminds me of Alyssa’s when she’s determined to have her way on something, and so I accept it. “Thanks,” I say quietly, and he nods once before looking away.

“Alexis, I saw y
ou and James kissing earlier today,” his voice is flat, as he keeps from looking at me. “You looked really into it, and I …”

I lean forward
, and try to read his expression as he lets breathes out a deep sigh, “What?” I ask him.

He shakes his head and rakes his hands through his already
disheveled hair. “Shit! This wasn’t supposed to fucking happen!” He sounds pissed, stands up, and starts pacing the small pathway in front of me. “You looked the same as you did when you and I—”

“We were practicing for our upcoming audition.
It wasn’t like we were kissing for real or anything,” I tell him, and I’m beginning to wonder why it’s even bothering him.

“Look, forget it
… I shouldn’t have asked you to come,” I see his eyes turning glassy
,
before he begins to walk away.

“B
randon, it didn’t mean anything,” I try to explain. He looks angry, and I just don’t get it.

“And
there are those words again …” He mutters to himself. I don’t think I was supposed to hear him, but I did.

I
jump to my feet and start to follow him. I’m not done here even if he thinks he is. “What wasn’t supposed to happen?” He stills just before the opening and turns back around. He looks physically and emotionally drained.

“This!” He snaps with a cold voice
, while waving his left hand between the two of us. “I wanted us to be friends, but, I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea now.” He sounds defeated and his shoulders have slumped down low again.

Walking cautiously
towards him, I see him swallow and a guarded look taking over his features. The white V-neck tee he’s wearing is soaked through, and I can’t stop my eyes from drifting over him. The tee is clinging to his skin, and I can see his perfectly toned six-pack through the fabric.

“Have you finished checking me out yet?” His voice is softer now, but his facial features
remain hard. “I should go—”

“But I’m not done yet,” I tell him as I move forward
. I stand right in front of him, and tilt my head up so that I can see into his eyes. “How was this different?” He hasn’t answered anything yet, and I’m determined to get to know him better. I’m curious as to why he isn’t the same person anymore.

He closes his eyes, and I watch his chest rise and fall as he breathes. After a few seconds
he reopens them, and I see the very same burning glint that I saw on Friday.

“I almost
lost James as my partner today.” Oh hell, am I really going to tell him this? “He wanted to ditch me because I lacked passion.” He’s watching me and looks somewhat astonished.

His
jaw is clenched again, and his eyes are turning cold, “You looked like you had plenty of passion when you kissed him,” he mumbles through his gritted teeth.

“That’s because I was thinking of you the whole time,” I lean up and whisper softly into his ear. Yeah, I just said it.

Congratulations, Alex. It looks like you just scared the shit out of him.

He gulps as his eyes roam over m
y body again, “You … telling me this … it makes this entire situation a whole lot harder, Alexis,” he stops talking, and his eyes half close when I trace his jaw lightly with my index finger. “I wish that—”

“You felt it too, didn’t you?” Where the hell did that come from? I was going to tell him I just wanted to be friends with him!

He squeezes his eyes shut and frowns, while lifting his hands to rest on his hips. He doesn’t say anything, but when he opens his eyes again, they look haunted. He nods and I feel warmth spreading through my stomach at his confirmation, as a smile sweeps over my lips.

“Fine. I felt it. Is that what you wanted to
hear?” He looks conflicted again, and his voice sounds weak. “Do you feel better now, Alexis? To know that I want you, but I can never fucking have you!” The sudden anger startles me and I find myself flinching away from him.

“Why can’t you have me?” I don’t know what possesses me to push for more. I haven’t even gotten to the bot
tom of the whole jail thing. I realize now how stupid I’m being, and that it’s just his closeness that’s making me forget myself.

“Fine!”
He lets out, before picking me up by my waist and carrying me back over to the building, before placing me up against the outside wall.

He puts me back onto my feet but keeps his body encased around mine. He pins both of my arms above my head with one hand
, while leaning the other on the wall behind me. I can feel his chest lightly pressing into mine. My breathing becomes light when our bodies touch, but this just doesn’t feel how I’d expected it to. Something doesn’t feel right.

“Do you want me,
Alexis?” He seems different. He sounds and looks both angry and tormented.

“Brandon
,” I can feel my whole body shaking and hear my voice crack when I speak. “You’re scaring me.” His face falls when I speak the words, and his eyes begin to look lifeless.

He releases my arms and steps away,
but keeps watching me as I struggle to catch my breath.

“Then now you know how I feel,” he answers solemnly, before turning and walking away. This time, I don’t stop him from leaving.

Breaking Point.

Is that Neil I hear shouting?

I
wipe my eyes, sit myself up, and look over at my alarm clock. It’s one in the morning, and the sound of loud voices echoing from the main room has just woken me from my sleep. I can’t quite make out what’s going on. All I can hear is Ryan and Neil’s voices traveling through the walls, and they certainly don’t sound too happy. I jump out of bed, run to my door, and when I open it up, I see a furious Ryan with an even more furious looking Neil standing beside him.

“What the hell’s going on, guys?” I stifle a yawn as they turn to face me. Well, at least they’ve stopped shouting now. “Do you realize what time it is?”

Ryan begins to pace the floor by the main door, and Neil heads straight to his room, without so much as a hello. This must be bad because he’s never like that with me,
ever.

“Alex
…” Ryan sounds out of breath and looks totally stressed. “Brandon …” He can’t get his words out, and he’s holding his index finger in the air, as though he’s asking me to give him a second while he gets his breath back. He lets out another deep exhale, his faces is bright red, and I don’t think he’s ever going to compose himself enough to be able to get his words out.

“Ryan! Please just tell me
…” My voice trails when I see Neil appearing from his room again, and he’s still looking happy. “Neil, what’s happened?”

Neil turns and glares at me while punching a few keys into his cell phone.

“Neil!” I shout to get his attention, but his whole demeanor is off. “What’s your problem?”

He shakes his head without looking in
my direction, and places his cell by his ear before storming out of the dorm. “Matt. Matt started on …” Ryan bends so that his hands are touching his knees, and I dread to even think what’s happened if Matt’s involved. “On … Brandon …”

“What!” This wasn’t a question. “Ryan, where is he?”
I head over to him and usher him towards the couch.

He shrugs
and shakes his head at me. I’m still waiting for him to catch his breath, and after a couple of minutes, his breathing is almost back to normal. “Neil just went to check his place because he’s not answering his cell phone.” He looks worried. Dammit, I’m worried!

“What did Matt say to him?” My stomach is churning, and I
hope to God Brandon didn’t do anything stupid. He pretty much said himself that he couldn’t react in case of, well, in case he went back inside. Dammit!

He lets out a sigh and the
n looks me straight in the eyes. “We were in a bar across town. Matt started taunting Brandon about his past, and it was fine. He was fine. He didn’t retaliate,” he gives me a sympathetic look, “until Matt mentioned you.”

I knew this would happen. I freaking knew it! “Ryan, call Brandon’s
cell again,” I tell him and I watch as he grabs his cell phone from his shirt pocket. “What happened next?”

“They exchanged words, and then Brandon went to kick the shit outta him. Neil and I had to
hold him back while Corey and a couple of the security guards threw Matt outside,” Ryan tells me, and I can see in his eyes that he’s pissed. “When we turned back around after watching Matt being dragged out, Brandon was gone.”

Please don’t say he went after Matt. I let out a deep breath and try to
think where he might be, but I come up with nothing.

“
No answer?” I ask when he places his cell phone beside him. “Can I have his number?” All of this happened because of me. I think I need to talk to Brandon about it.

“I really don
’t think it’s a good idea, Alex,” he grimaces as he answers, and I feel my face falling into a frown.

I
bend onto my knees so I can show him how worried I am, “Ryan, please? I want to talk to him,” I wait for him to answer, and when he nods, I run to grab my cell from my nightstand.

When I return, Ryan reels off Brandon’s cell number and then I type in a message. My hands are shaking so
hard that it takes me a couple of attempts.

Where R U? I’m worried. Call me? Alex

I hit the send key and then wait. And wait. And wait.

Twenty minutes have passed since I sent the message
, and I’m beginning to annoy myself with the sound of my nails tapping on my cell’s screen. Maybe I should call him.

Ryan went out looking for Brandon after Neil called to say he wasn’t in his dorm. I stand and begin to
pace the length of the room. Why would he risk going back inside just because a loser like Matt said a few things about me?

It’s almost a quarter past two, and I still haven’t heard anything from him. There’s no way I can go to sleep until I know he hasn’t done anything
reckless. I dial his number, and when it doesn’t go straight to the voicemail, I realize he must have gotten my message. It rings off, and so I try again. After the fourth time of calling, he finally answers.

“Alexi
s,” his voice is raspy, but I’m just grateful he’s answered.

“Brandon, where are you? Everyone is worried sick and the guys a
re out looking for you.” I tell him, and I can hear the despair in my own voice, so I’m certain he can too.

“I needed some space,” h
e sounds disheartened. “Tell them I’ll call them tomorrow.”

I’m about to ask him
where he is but stop when I hear a voice in the background.

“Are you ready for bed, babe?” You have got to be kidding me. I feel nauseous. He’s with a woman.
He has everybody worried and he’s with some girl? I wish I knew where he was so I could go and kick that asshole in the balls.

“I gotta go,” I hear him
whisper into the earpiece. The knot in my stomach, that hasn’t shifted since I met with him by the lake earlier, is starting to make me feel uncomfortable.

“So I heard,
” I hardly recognize my own voice because it’s so flat, and there’s definitely anger evident within it. My blood is boiling, quite literally.

“Alexis, I’m sorry.”

Of course he is. What? So he’s sorry as in, ‘I’m sorry I fell into bed with yet another woman, and by the way, I’m not interested in you right now’? Asshole!

“I’m over it, Brandon. Go to hell!”
I snap at him before ending the call, and I swear that if I had insurance on my cell phone, it would be shattered into tiny pieces across the room right about now.

While sending a couple of messages to
update both Neil and Ryan, I promise myself I will never be attracted to an asshole again, before heading back to bed.

***

I fell for it, again. Since when did I become so naïve?

The broken sleep from the night before has made me extremely irritable. If the students behind me don’t
stop with their giggling and whispering soon, I think I’m going to have a mini meltdown, or punch them in the face. Either one works for me at this present moment in time.

“Alex, I had no idea you and—” James leans over and speaks
quietly as Professor Hardy drones on about, hell, I really have no clue. I haven’t been paying attention to any of my classes so far today.

I
raise my hand up to stop James from saying anything else. From the corner of my eye, I see him lean back in his seat, and hear him exhale a breath. I sigh and continue doodling on my notebook. Luckily, I haven’t seen Brandon or Matt today, although I hadn’t really expected to see Brandon. He’s probably still recovering from spending the night with yet another woman.

Ugh! I hate that I’m still brooding over this. He’s an asshole, and he’s so not worth my time.

I didn’t see Neil or Ryan before I came to class, and I’m assuming Alyssa stayed over at Seth’s place. She probably isn’t even aware of any of the events from last night yet, and I bet she’s going to be pretty pissed when she finds out she missed it. Alyssa has always been one to enjoy a little drama.

“…
dismissed!” I realize that’s the only word I’ve managed to process in the last two hours, as Professor Hardy dismisses us for lunch break.

Grabbing my notebook and bag, I
jump straight up and head towards the exit doors before any of the other students even have a chance to get out of their seats. Deciding that it’s best to stay away from the cafeteria, and away from all the gossip, glares, and people I’ve managed to piss off over the last twenty-four hours, I make my way towards the main exit of the arts building. Thankfully, the weather has improved some since yesterday, and although it’s overcast, there’s no sign of rain as I make my way through the campus grounds and in the direction of the iron gates. Starbucks is calling me.

The way Neil didn’t even
acknowledge me in the early hours is playing on my mind, but I really haven’t the energy to try to make things right with him yet. I think it’s best to let him have some time to calm down too. I’ve only seen Neil angry once before, and although I have no idea what caused his anger, it must have been something pretty bad because he’s normally such a chilled out guy.

“There she is ladies and gentlemen!” I
hear the slyness in Matt’s voice, and still my steps for a moment, before deciding to just ignore him. He’s not worth my time either. “Alex, wait!” I hear him calling over my right shoulder, and can sense the amusement in his voice.

No, this is not something I want to be doing right now. I
carry on walking until I’m almost at the gates, but pause again when I hear laughter from behind me.

“Where are you going, Alex? Are you going to
go and visit your mom’s grave?” He snarls the words, and I feel like he’s about to push me over the edge. “Ask her if she’s still proud of you even though you got involved with a criminal? Ha! You could tell her that you got used and abused by him too!”

That’s it! He has no right to be even speaking to me, never mind bringing my mom into this conversation.

“Matt,” I say as I slowly walk over to him. I notice people are beginning to slow their pace down as they stare at the two of us.

The campus grounds are starting to fill up with students, and I’m pretty sure they’re unaware that they’re about to
witness a showdown. “What’s your problem, huh?” I’m not afraid of him, and I think the strength in my voice even has him somewhat surprised.

He’s standing
only a foot or so away from me, and I can see the coldness in his eyes. He has no reason to be like this to me. So, I didn’t sleep with him, it’s hardly the end of the world. He’s the one who was in the wrong, not me.

“Look
everybody!” He snarls as he turns to look at the people gathering around us, “Sweet and innocent Alexis Harper, daughter of a cop, rejected by the biggest man whore and murderer in—”

Without even thinking, I lunge forward, and hear a loud thud as my fist connects with the left side of his face. I see him stagger backwards a few steps, and hear gasps from the people around us at what I just did.

Matt lifts his hand up to his face, and I see pure anger flash into his eyes as he steps forward some more. “You are gonna fucking—” He lifts his other hand and goes to grab my shoulder, but is stopped by someone who has come up from behind me.

Hell
, my hand hurts.

I turn around and see James pushing Matt away from me
, and trying to hold him back. Matt’s eyes are filled with hatred and he’s keeping them trained directly on me. “What’s so great about that guy, Alex?” What? He’s jealous? That’s what all of this is about?

The spectators are glancing between us now, and I see the
sympathy in James’s eyes when he looks at me.

“I made a mistake, so sue me,
” I shrug my answer. I feel the tears brimming in my eyes and hear my voice betraying me as I speak. It’s hoarse and shaky, and I realize now that this is just the reaction Matt was looking for because he’s starting to smirk at me. “You and Brandon are nothing but fucking assholes and …” I’m almost screaming now and I can’t believe I just lost my self-control over something this asshole said. I can’t believe I let him affect me like this.

“Alexis?” Of course
Brandon would have to be standing right behind me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. There are faint whispers as the crowd begins to dissipate, with some throwing backward glances at us as they walk away. “Alexis?” I feel Brandon’s hand on my shoulder and immediately shrug it away as I turn around to face him.

I see the
shock on his face and pain flash into his eyes. From the way he’s looking at me, it’s obvious he heard the words I just hissed out. This guy should have studied the acting course. He would be amazingly good at it because he actually looks upset.

He steps closer to me, and I
immediately step back. There is no way in hell I’m going through this again. No freaking way! His face falls, and I notice the pain in his eyes being replaced by sadness, while his lips form into a frown.

“I wish I’d never met you,” I tell him flatly, and at my words, he closes his eyes and lowers his head. “Stay the hell away from me,” I
mutter angrily, before making my way out of the campus’s gates.