Misguided Truths: Part Two (Misjudged #4) (34 page)

The door swings open,
and I almost fall right inside, “Hey! What the hell, man?” Rye’s standing on the other side of the threshold, shirtless, and has half a piece of pizza hanging out of his mouth. “I know I said for you to come over today and talk with her, but are you crazy?”

“Where is she?”
I say each word between each breath that I take. “Rye, I need to see Alexis.”

“
She’s in her room.” His eyebrow knit tightly together, and he’s eyeing me with caution. I push my way past him and make my way toward her room. The room that used to be ours. The one that’s most likely never gonna be ours again. Not after what I did.

“So
, you’ve finally come to your senses?” Alyssa walks out from Ryes room with a lollipop hanging out of her mouth, and a glossy magazine in her hand. “I hope she kicks you in the balls before she agrees to take you back!” She hisses at me, but I really don’t give a shit what she thinks. It’s not her who I need to persuade here, it’s Alexis.

“Alyssa, don’t get involved.”
I hear Rye say as I knock Alexis’ door. I don’t just knock once. I know persistently, tapping away until it eventually swings open.

When she sees me, she drops her gaze, “I have nothing to say to you.”

“Well
, I’ve got a lot things that I need to say to you,” I tell her, my stomach churns when I see a case in her left hand. “What’s with the bag?” I hold my gaze on her, and she lets out a sigh.

“My fathers,” she shrugs her shoulders, and attempts to step around me, but I block her path with my arm.
Nope. You’re staying here while you let me fix this.
“I need to get away from this place for a while, Brandon. Please? Just let me through.”

What the fuck is wrong with her? Why is
she sounding so calm and level headed? Shouldn’t she be slapping the living crap outta me, or screaming in my face, telling me how much I hurt her and how much she hates me?

“Alex
, you didn’t tell me you were planning on going somewhere,”
Oh, and here comes Blondie ready to stick her stupid perky little nose into our business again.

“I didn’t know myself
until a little while ago,” she offers Alyssa a small smile, but she doesn’t fool me. I can see right through it. She’s never been good at lying, and I guess that’s why I should’ve believed her. That’s why I should never have accused her of being unfaithful.

She pushes past me, and I grab a hold of her arm, “I’m so sorry, Alexis. Please?
You’ve gotta hear me out,” I tell her, and she slowly turns back to face me. She’s a shell of the person she was. There’s nothing showing in her eyes, or in the expression over her face. “Why aren’t you shouting? Why are you looking at me like it doesn’t matter anymore? Shit, Alexis! Why are you looking at me like I don’t matter to you anymore?” Yeah, and my voice just cracked. Do I care? Not particularly. Hell, I don’t even care that we’ve got a couple of witnesses standing over to the side of us. All I care about is her and getting her back.

“C’mon, giv
e the guy a break already. You both said some pretty nasty things to eachother. Fine, so he assumed you’d been playing away from home, but he knows he was wrong about that. You know that as well as we do. But, you lied to him and went to see Neil without telling him, and okay, so he flipped out, but come on, guys. Cut the drama, kiss, make up, and just go fuck her in the ass already!”

“Ryan!”
Alyssa squeals, and from the corner of my eye, I see her slap him hard around the head. Well, it’s pretty clear she hasn’t told either of them about what she walked into earlier today.

“You think that I need to give him a break?”
Yes, that’s it. Yes, give me a break. Let me explain. We can work this out.
“Okay, I can do that.”
Thank you, God.

“See? I
’m a total pro at this relationship thing now.” Rye sounds pretty proud of himself as he takes a step forward, a smug smile now crossing over his entire face.

I shake my head
, bringing my eyes back to Alexis, “Can we talk? Please?” I take a step closer, and reach for her hand, but she moves hers away and takes another step away from me.

“Not this time.”
She sounds full of regret.
Yeah, well, so am I.

“What did he do?”
Trust Alyssa to stick her nose in when it’s not wanted. This is between me and Alexis, not her. Am I dating her best friend? No. No, I’m not. And, if Rye had any sense, he’d be rethinking his options, too.

I rake my hands through my hair, and take a deep breath,
“I didn’t do anythin—”

“He slept with somebody else.”
I close my eyes in defeat when Alexis speaks those very words. Does she really need to be telling them this? I’m not particularly proud of what I did.

“What?”
And, there she goes again.
I hadn’t noticed until recently, but Alyssa is really starting to annoy the shit outta me. “You fucking asshole!” She takes a step forward, and when I glance over toward her and Rye, I see him place his arm across her waist, stopping her from getting any closer to me.

“Shit, man. Who was it?”
Oh, fuck.
I grimace just thinking about waking up beside Lisa this morning, and shudder at the fact that I used my tong—
I think I’m gonna hurl again.

Alexis is watching
me with raised eyebrows now, though her eyes are anything but readable. “Well, are you going to tell them, or am I?”

No. I’m not gonna let her
use Rye and Alyssa as a distraction so she can try and steer me away from the reason why I came over here in the goddamn first place. I came here for one thing, and one thing alone.

I kneel down on the floor, and try to grab a hold of her hands again. She looks the other way, anot
her tear rolling down her cheek. When she goes to walk by me, I wrap my arms around her legs. She’s not leaving here until she hears me out, “Alexis, I love you. I’m so fucking in love with you! My head’s been all over the fucking place sinc—”

“Lisa.”
When she says that name, my head instantly drops low. “He slept with Lisa.”

“Lisa? As in Lisa the skank, Lisa? The same Lisa
who you told one time that you wouldn’t even touch her with my dick?”
The very same.

Well, Alyssa’
s keeping quiet so I’m guessing she’s on gossip overload right about now. Having these two here isn’t helping matters at all. “When are you gonna be back?” I ask her, keeping my arms firmly wrapped around her so she can’t walk away from me. “Alexis, when?” I press her for more, but all she gives me is a slight shrug of her shoulders. “No, you can’t leave here until we’ve sorted this out. I don’t want you to—”

“I don’t know if we can this time.”
Oh, she didn’t. Tell me she didn’t just say that. Of course we can sort this out. We have to be together.

I grip her tighter, and she closes her eyes,
“No. Don’t say that. Don’t ever say shit like that, Alexis. I need you. I love you. I only want you!”

“Let
me go,” her voice is quiet, and she lets go off her case, taking a hold of my hands in hers while shaking her head. “Please? Please, Brandon? Just let me go.”

“No. Not until you listen to me,” I say, and I get back on my feet, holding her shoulders now, making sure she can see right into my eyes. I need her to see that I’m
not fooling around. She needs to understand. “Alexis, I love you. Only you. I’m sorry. I feel sick everytime I think about touching that—I need you to tell me that we’re gonna be alright. That you’re only going away for a couple of days, and when you get back, we can talk this out. Sort things out. I’ll move back in, or you can come and live with me, or—”

“I have to go,
” she whispers, tracing her fingers along my jaw before stepping around me and heading toward the main door. “I’ll call you.” I hear her say over to Alyssa.

I’ve gotta do something here, “If I ca
n’t have you Alexis then he’s won. You’re letting him win this!”

She stills by the door, and turns back around once she’s opened it up wide, “Yo
u see this as a competition?” No, that’s not what I meant
. Shit!

“No, I see this as my whole world coming to
an end. If I can’t have you in my life, then I wish I’d never woken up that day. Without you, Alexis. Without you, I’m nothing.” She’s staring right at me, and my hands are shaking by my sides.

“Goodbye, Brandon.” She turns away, closing the door behind her. No. She’s not leaving me behind. I charge forward, but Rye blocks my path
, and when I look at him, he shakes his head and pats my shoulder a couple of times.

“Let her go,
man. Give her some time.” My shoulders slouch, and I lower my head. I know he’s right. For once, he’s talking sense.

She’ll come back. She has to come back to me.

It’s been a whole week. I’ve tried calling her cell phone loads of times. At first she cut my calls, and then after what could have possibly been the fiftieth time I tried, they started to go straight through to her voicemail. I meant it. I’m not gonna give up until she knows that I made a mistake. I didn’t know what I was doing. I never meant to hurt her. I was supposed to be going to see her that morning. I was meant to be telling her that I got it wrong. About Holly;
about her
. But, everything fucked up. I fucked up, but I didn’t know anything about it at the time. I need her to believe me. She has to give me another chance. I’m not gonna stop until she takes me back.

Knock! Knock!

I stand up from the couch, and walk hesitantly to the door. Why? Well, because since she knocked the last time, when Lisa was here, nobody’s knocked since. Not even Rye. I went over to the dorm a couple of days ago to see if she was home yet, but when he was about to speak to me, Alyssa slammed the door on me after she screamed a few cuss words in my face. I don’t blame her, though. I deserved to be called everything she threw at me.
Fuckwit. Asshole. Cheating scumbag. Loser. Fucking freakwit.
Oh, and then she told me that she hoped that I caught something, and that she’ll laugh the day my dick falls off. Rye didn’t help matters any further when he told her that it wasn’t likely because I’d wrapped it three times.

“Brandon?” I still my steps when I hear her voice. She’s here. It’s Alexis. My palms are getting sweaty, and my pulse is quickening. “Brandon, are you home?” She’s
not shouting, I can barely hear her through the wooden door. She’s here to see me. She came back.

I hurry forward to
slide the chain across, and pull the door open, my heart hammering in my chest when I see her standing on the other side, “Alexis.” Surprised? Shocked? Nervous? Relieved? All of them, I can’t just pick one emotion to describe how I’m feeling right in this second. “Alexis, I’m so gl—”

“Can I come in
side please?” Her voice is small as she interrupts me, and I instantly take a step back, opening the door wider for her to come inside. I keep my eyes on her as she goes to walk by me, and close the door, watching her the whole time.

She pauses half way down the hallway, and I see her glancing to her right.
Shit.
I walk right over, reach out, and pull my bedroom door closed. Yeah, I can see it in her eyes. She doesn’t wanna be looking in there, not knowing that somebody else was—
I don’t wanna talk about that anymore,
“The living room’s just this way.” I say, clearing my throat when I notice her eyes glazing over, but she nods slightly and continues to walk on through.

I gesture my hand toward the couch, and
go to take a seat beside her once she’s sat down and made herself comfortable, “Am I interrupting anything? Because I can always come back if—”

“No! No, nothing. I have the day off and I don’t have any plans. Even if I did, I’d cancel them. Do you need me to get you a drink or anythi—?”
I wipe my hands on my pants, and notice that even my hands are starting to uncontrollably shake.

“No, I’m fine thanks,” she answers, and I
notice that she’s started to play with her hands in her lap. “I only got back this morning, and I haven’t even had a chance to unpack yet, but I wanted to come and see you. We need to talk.”

Yes. Yes, we do.
“Alexis, I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking—”

“Brandon
can you let me talk please?” she turns to face me as she asks, and I see deep frown lines displaying over her face. “You hurt me. You broke my heart, and I know that you’d already decided that you didn’t want us to be together anymore, but what you did wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair.” Her voice trails into a whisper, and she turns away, lifting one of her hands up to her face to hide her tears.

I kneel down on the floor, grabbing her hands in mine
. She turns back to look at me, and I see another couple of tears fall out from her eyes, “Alexis, please? I’m sorry. I know you didn’t sleep with Neil. I know this baby is mine, and I’ve always wanted to be with you, I swear it, I don’t ever wanna be—”

“
But, you doubted me, and I guess I can understand why you did. Everyone you’ve ever trusted hurt you. I get that, and you know you were wrong. All I’ve been doing this past week is thinking about you, me, and our baby. I realized that, deep down, I’d already forgiven you for the things you said.”

“That’s good. That’s good.”
I nod, and feel a smile starting to play over my lips.
She forgives me.

“I think we should try
a—”

“Alexis, I
promise that you won’t regret this.” I stop her from saying anything else, and crash my lips on hers.
God, it’s been way too long.
Gripping her face with both of my hands, I pull her closer, firmly flicking my tongue across her bottom lip, waiting for her to grant me access. But, she doesn’t. When I open my eyes, I see her staring wide eyed back at me. I feel her shoulders tense, and my smile falters.

She leans back, dropping her gaze back to her hands,
“We should try and be friends, for our baby’s sake.”
No. No. No. No. NO.

I shake my head, and I keep shaking it. I feel like someone’s just stabbed a huge shard of glass straight through my heart, and it’s slowly bleeding
itself to death. Everything I was feeling just before is beginning to fade away. “W-W-W-h-h-what?”

“I don’t want our baby to grow up not knowing you, but I can
’t be with you. Not anymore.” Her eyes are sad, and her voice is shaking. I don’t believe her. This isn’t what’s for the best. She knows this just as much as I do.

“
Friends? No. That’s not an option, Alexis. You know that we’ve never had the option of being just friends. I love you, only you. I swear I’ll never hurt you again. Alexis, please?” Yeah, I’m begging now, and I’ll keep begging for every second of each day for the rest of my life.

“It
’s friends or nothing, Brandon,” she goes to stand, and I twist around as she makes her way back toward the hallway. “Don’t make this any harder than what it already is. I want our son or daughter to know their father, but you betrayed me in the worst way. I can’t be with somebody I no longer trust. You slept with somebody else, Brandon. You slept with somebody else.” I jump straight onto my feet, and kneel down right in front of her again. She’s standing in the doorway, watching me with sorrowful eyes.

“Please, beautiful? Please? No, you need to believe me.” I grip a hold of her waist, running my hands over her stomach, and she lets out a sob while lifting one of her hands up to cover her mouth.

She’s looking directly into my eyes, and I’m gazing directly back into hers. She needs to believe me. I can’t be friends with her. I can’t, but I can’t live without her, either. She closes her eyes
, and I hear her exhale a breath before she brings her eyes to meet back with mine again, “Would you have told me about Lisa if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes?”
Shit.
Fresh tears are rolling down her cheeks, and I loosen my grip on her, resting back on my heel. She already knows the answer to this. Would I have been able to hide it from her? No. No, the guilt would’ve been too much, but I wasn’t planning on her finding out about it the way she did either. “That’s what I thought. I’ll, um … I’ll see myself out.” And, she does. She walks away, not once turning back around before the main door closes up behind her.