Misguided Truths: Part Two (Misjudged #4) (11 page)

“I slept … I slept on the floor,” I see her nod once at me, and then
I decide to tell her something. I want her to know that I’m happy she came over. “I really enjoyed spending time with you, Alexis.”

When she doesn’t respond right away, I’m thinking she’s not so sure she enjoyed spending time with me. But, then she finally speaks, “It was the popcorn that s
wayed my decision,” she says before heading over to my bedroom door. Man, I love when she says shit like that. She can’t just admit that she enjoyed spending time with me, can she? Nope. She’s gotta pretend that things don’t affect her. I wish she’d pretend that I don’t have any effect on her. It would make this whole thing a little easier to deal with. I laugh from hearing her smart answer, and follow her through to the living area. “Thanks, though. I enjoyed it, too.” See?
That wasn’t so hard to admit, was it?
I knew she did.

“Good luck with your audition,” I say when she heads through the main door, and I rest the right side of my body against the doorway while placing my hands in my pants pockets. “I guess I’ll see you later.”
Man, I’m really hoping I will.

“Sure.” S
he answers with a slight smile, before turning away and heading down the hallway. I walk slowly back to my room, and my eyes land on the empty space over on the nightstand, where the photograph of me and Holly should be. Shaking my head while letting out a sigh, I reach over and open up the draw, taking it out and holding it against my chest as I lay back on the bed.
I can do this, Holls. I don’t need anybody else. We’re just gonna be friends. I’m always gonna keep my promise to you. Always.

The guys are playing their first gig over at The Lounge tonight.

When Layla first told Neil and Rye that they could have a slot, I offered to help them move their equipment before my shift. Now, though, I really wish I hadn’t. Not because the van they hired just broke down on us. That’s not it. It’s because now they wanna head back to their place and ask Alexis if they can use her car. Why is this a problem you ask? Well, I’ll tell you.

Something happened yesterday. Something that I swore would never happen again. I was feeling really fucking proud of myself for having Alexis spend th
e night with me back at my dorm. I thought that we could be friends and it not be an issue. But, it’s what happened later in the day that changed everything back to how it was before. Actually, it all changed within four hours.

While I was in class, I saw Alexis sitting outside the music building. She had her head in her hands and didn’t look so hap
py. I made my excuses by telling the professor that I needed to use the bathroom before I headed straight over to check on her. I was right. She was upset. In fact, she was so upset that she was crying. As it turned out, she didn’t have anybody to partner her and unless she found somebody to fill James’ spot, she wouldn’t get a chance to even try and see if she’d get to star in the college show.

What did I do? Well, I offered to help. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but looking back now, it wasn’t the right thing to do at all. I knew. In the back of my mind, I was completely aware what scenes she’d been rehearsing, but I kept hoping that the first scene would’ve been enough to convince the judges that she had enough talent so they wouldn’t ask her to perform the second one for them. 
No such luck
. I kissed her. It was hard to do, but I kept telling myself while I was standing up there on the stage that it’d be okay, because it was only acting. When I froze on the spot just before the kiss, she got close. She got too fucking close, and I did it. I kissed her. I couldn’t resist. Her lips were so close to mine that I had to taste them again. The problem there, though, were the feelings I experienced. They were the same ones that I felt when I kissed her last Friday.

And, now? Well, now I’ve gone and made things a hundred fucking times harder to deal with. What did I do after the kiss? I walked away. Actually, no. I practically
ran out of the staging area, not once looking back.

She called me, she messaged me, but I couldn’t reply or speak to her. I was supposed to be working last night, but I wanted to be alone. No. No, I wanted to be with Holly. She doesn’t deserve any of this, and I made a promise. A promise I swore I’d never break. I headed straight over to the cemetery and sat with her for pr
etty much the rest of the day
and night
. I bought her the biggest bouquet of flowers I could find, and I kept repeating the same words, over and over and over again;
‘I’m sorry.’

I called Layla as soon as the bar opened up this morning, and apologized for not going in last night. She didn’t sound overly i
mpressed that I didn’t show, and she told me to make sure that I’d be in on time tonight. She also mentioned that if I took her in something nice, then she may, just may, forgive me and forget that it ever happened. I can’t lose this job. I need the cash almost as much as I need the air in my lungs. What I earn at the bar is the cash I use to pay the guys who get me the information I need. I wanna know who messed up my life. This is the only reason why I’m in Seattle in the first place, and I’ve really gotta keep reminding myself of that.

“Once we’ve picked up the keys from Alexis, we’ll grab the rest of the equipment from my room and then unload everything from out of the van,” Neil says as we head up to the fourth floor of his building. “What time do you start your shift?” He asks over his shoulder as we head out of the elevator
, and make our way down the hallway.

“Five,” I answer him.
“She hasn’t even agreed to loan us her car yet.” He seems pretty confident that we’re gonna be leaving his place with a set of car keys in our possession.

He lets out a laugh, “You obvious
ly don’t remember how persistent Ryan can be.” Yeah, now that he mentions it, he can be pretty persuasive when he sets his mind on something.

We step through the already open doorway, and I still my steps for a second. Well, she’s home alright. Alyssa is just making her way over to her room, and I see Rye kneeling on the floor behind the same couch Alexis is sitting on. I can feel her eyes on me as I start to follow Neil to his room, but I don’t look her way. I can’t. Th
is wasn’t any of her fault; it was mine. It’ll be for the best if we just keep away from each other from here on out. The temptation to be with her is too great, and I can’t deal with being just friends with her either, even though pursuing her isn’t an option for me. No, I’ll have to just keep pushing her away. Keep her at a distance, just like I’d originally planned when I saw her the night after the ball.

“I’ll give Corey a call and make sure he’s still good to meet us over there
in an hour.” Neil tells me, taking a seat on the end of his bed while pulling his cell phone out from his shirt pocket.

Rye
sticks his head around the door, a beaming wide grin covering his face, “Alex said yes!”

“Buddy, can you give me a hand with this thing?” Neil asks when he puts his cell phone back away.
Well, I’m guessing Corey isn’t outta bed yet. He struggles to grab a firm hold of the sound system that’s over by his closet, and just as I’m about to go and help him, Rye takes a hold of the other side. “Did you get the keys?”

“No, she’s gone to grab them from her purse I think. You wanna get them from her while we get this taken downstairs?” Rye aims his question over at me, but before I even have a chance to pro
test, they’ve already headed through the door.
Awesome.
Just fucking awesome.

I walk through to the living area and glance around the room. She’s not in here, so I head over to the main door and lean against the wall while I wait for her to come back out with the keys. I’m really hoping she’s not gonna say anything about what happened
yesterday, but what are the chances that she doesn’t bring it up? Yeah, the odds are slim.

When she walks through her bedroom door, my shoulders automatically tense. Her face falls when she sees me standing here, but she doesn’t say anything and turns toward Rye’s room, “Neil and Ryan just went downstairs.” I call out to her, and watch as she slowly turns around.

She takes a few hesitant steps toward me, and I can feel my shoulders tense more, if that’s even possible, “You ignored me yesterday. What did I do wrong?”
You made me feel something that I never wanted or expected to feel again.
I reach out and push the door closed before making my way over to her. I don’t want her to blame herself for something I didn’t have any control over. But, before I have a chance to get my words out and speak, Alyssa’s bedroom door opens up, and I see her take a step inside the room. From the way she’s glancing between the two of us, I’d take a guess that Alexis has already told her about what happened yesterday.

She doesn’t say anything
, and seems to realize that we need some privacy. She turns around and heads straight back into her room again. Good.
I think
. I see the keys in Alexis’ left hand, and reach out, placing mine over hers to take them from her, trying my hardest to smile, “You didn’t do anything wrong.” I squeeze her hand and then take a step away. I need to get outta here because she’s looking at me with sadness in her eyes, and I hate that I’m the one who caused for her to look and feel this way.

“I thought we were going to try and be friends?” I hear her ask as I turn away f
rom her, and she walks around until she’s standing right ahead of me again. “You walked away yesterday, and you ignored my calls and messages. I don’t understand.”

Do I tell her that I was ignoring her calls on purpose? No. No, I can’t because then she’ll wanna know why, and I don’t want her to know anything. I don’t want her to take pity on me because of my past, and I don’t want her to feel sorry for me because I don’t need her to. Alright, maybe I don’t wanna tell her about Holly in case
she does
understand. Honestly, I know this makes sense even if you don’t. No, I have to lie, “I must’ve left my cell somewhere.” I take my gaze away from hers, and from the corner of my eye, I see her starting to slowly shake her head.

“You had it with you last night, when you were carr
ying a large bouquet of flowers.” Her tone is accusing, and I really don't appreciate her speaking to me in this way. It's none of her goddamn business.

“What? Are you stalking me now or something?” I rake my hand through my hair, and if I’m gonna be totally honest here, I’m starting to get a little pissed. How am I supposed to push her away if she won’t let me? She knows I’m lying to h
er. Hell, I know that I’m lying, but it doesn’t give her any right to start acting in the same way a jealous girlfriend would. She knows nothing, and I’d prefer to keep it that way.

“Where were you going?” her tone is pleading
now. “Tell me, please?” I can’t get into this with her. I need to do something. If she saw the flowers, which it’s pretty damn obvious she did, then maybe this is gonna work in my favor. She needs to forget about what happened between us.
I need to forget what happened.

“I need to get back downstairs. We still have a lo
t of equipment to get loaded up.” I swirl the car keys around on my index finger, and go to walk by her, but she doesn’t seem to be listening to a damn thing I’m trying to say. She grabs a hold of my arm just as I’m standing to the side of her.

She’s given me no other choice, “They were for my girlfriend, Alexis.
That’s where I was headed last night, and that’s where I always go when I’ve been with you.” I hate myself for saying this. I mean, in a way, it’s true, but not in the way I’ve led her to believe it is. Her hand instantly falls from my arm, and I know I’m gonna be feeling like shit for a while from the way I’ve just hurt her. I can see the disappointment in her eyes. Christ. I’m disappointed.
No. No, you’re not.

“You lied?” I hear her faint whisper behind me, and I only turn
back around when I’ve opened the door up. I need to make this seem real.
She needs to stay away. Say it, and then you can forget all about her.

“Yeah, I did.”

***

The whole place has been packed pretty solid since seven o’clock. So busy, in fact, that I haven’t even had a chance to ask the guys how they’re feeling about their first performance in here tonight. Layla was a little off with me when I first came in for my shift at five, but she soon
warmed up when I handed her a bar of candy. What can I say? She’s easily pleased. A single bar of candy got me back in her good books again. My funds are low, and it was the best I could do. If I’d have spent any more than a couple of dollars then I’d be completely broke because I spent the last of my cash on Holly’s flowers yesterday. I’m just thankful that I get my pay within the next couple of days. You may think that one hundred dollars was an extravagant amount to spend on something that’s gonna die within a few days, but if you think hard about what I did, then you’ll understand that it was completely necessary. It wasn’t a luxury;
it was a necessity.

It’s getting hot in here, and I go to grab a bottle of water from out of the chiller, taking a quick mouthful before the next set of customers wanna be served. We’re one guy down tonight, and
I guess you could say that I’m partly to blame for this. Alright, I’m totally to blame; one hundred percent. Because I didn’t show up last night, Layla had to get cover, and the only way Seth would agree to work short notice was if Layla gave him tonight off instead. Maybe I’ll try and buy her a couple of bars of candy next week.

The guys had a few drinks earlier on in the evening
, and are now doing their sound checks over in the right hand side corner of the bar area. The great thing? There’s already a crowd assembling right by the stage.

“Brandon could you head out the back and grab some more vodka?” Tessa, one of weekend girls, asks me. “And orange juice!” She smiles as she goes to serve the group of guys who are next in line.

As I go to walk by her, I pull on her pigtail, which earns me a tap around the back of the head. You could say I’ve settled in pretty well considering the short amount of time I’ve worked here. Most of the people who work here are around the same age as I am, if not a couple of years older.

When I make my way back behind the bar, I replace the empty bottles with the new ones and then turn back around to serve some more, noticing the line’s a lot longer now than it was when I headed out the back.

“Brandon! That group over there is next!” Layla calls over to me while pointing to the …
oh hell.
I shake my head, and then take a deep breath when I see approximately ten sets of eyes looking my way. Serving ten customers at the same time is fine by me, I don’t have any issue with that. But, when it’s obvious they’re a part of a bachelorette party, you know they’re not gonna give you an easy time. We had a similar group in here the week after Christmas, and there’s only one word I can think of that would describe them well.
Vultures.
They were like predators hunting the prey. Yep. Women can be pretty scary when they wanna be.