(Mis)fortune (7 page)

“Is that okay, Liam?” I asked hesitantly.

He turned to look at Nana, and she patiently let him judge her.  Finally, he nodded.

“I’ll be right back if you don’t come up first,” I assured them.

I took the stairs two at a time and arrived at the door out of breath just as Emmitt stepped into the hall.  He gave a small smile as he passed me.  I hesitated in the doorway until he reached the second landing.  I didn’t want an audience when I looked through the clothes.

The bags lined the couch.  I knelt and started digging through them, hurrying to sort everything into piles.  At the bottom of my bag, I found new underwear, a swimsuit, and a sport bra.  Gratitude swamped me.  Clean clothes!

Tromping footsteps announced Liam and Aden’s impending arrival.  I helped them change into shorts then begged them to watch some fuzzy cartoons on the TV while I showered and changed.

Excited, I closed myself into the bathroom, and then realized I had a problem.  The towel rack sat empty.  No shampoo lined the shower ledge.

Nana had graciously provided the clothes, but we still needed a few other basic items.  I went to the bedroom and counted out the remaining cash.  Thanks to the magazines I’d read, I could guess the cost of new shoes, tops, or designer jeans.  But what did second-hand clothes cost?  And what about basics like flour, milk, shampoo, and deodorant?  Uncertain, I plucked two of the one hundred dollar bills from the pile.  She’d brought back six bags of clothes...it had to be close.  I assured the boys I would be right back and ran downstairs.

The lawnmower droned outside.  Both Nana’s and Jim’s doors stood open, but I didn’t see anyone.

Before I could decide if I should knock or just start shouting out names, Nana called from the porch.  Both she and Jim sat on the steps, watching Emmitt mow.

Jim leaned back in the sun, barefoot, shirt off, and wearing jean cutoffs while he grinned at his brother.  Emmitt glanced our way when I walked out the door.  Jim definitely looked good, but he didn’t give my stomach fits of churning delight like Emmitt did.  Thankfully.  One distracting me was enough.

“I wanted to thank you for the clothes, Nana,” I said ignoring both men.  I handed her the money, which she accepted.  “And I was wondering if I could borrow a towel and shampoo for a shower.”

She looked at the bills.  “This is more than what I spent on the clothes.”

At least it wasn’t less.  “It’s okay.  I really appreciate what you did for us.  It saved me from having to—”  I caught myself.  “It would have been boring for Liam and Aden, and I didn’t want to leave them alone.”

She nodded in understanding.  “How about we send Jim to the store to buy some picnic food?  Then, we can go to the lake tomorrow like he suggested.  It’s a public lake but remote enough that not many people go there,” she said before I could decline.

My mind raced through several possibilities.  One being that if we stayed on this property, hidden, Blake might not ever find us.  Sure, I knew he wouldn’t give up, but how would he know to look here?  I liked it here.  I liked Emmitt, his brother, and their neighbor and knew that Liam and Aden did, too.  But, I knew that by tomorrow my pain would be worse.

Staying here meant I needed to find a way to deal with the premonitions.  A random conversation with Jim about stocks, a topic just about everyone my age would naturally avoid, wasn’t the best idea.  If we went to the lake, I could put something on someone’s car window.  Or draw it in the sand where someone would see.  The lake provided more opportunities.

I nodded, and she handed Jim one of the bills.  He laughed mischievously.

“I’ll be right back.”  He went into the house and came back out a minute later wearing sturdy boots and a sleeveless shirt.  Small keys dangled from his little finger.

“Jim...”  The warning in Nana voice was clear as he jumped from the porch.

Emmitt looked up from his mowing as Jim swung a leg over Emmitt’s motorcycle and inserted the key.  The drone of the mower died as the bike’s engine roared to life.  Jim laughed loudly and revived the bike over Emmitt’s shouted words.  Saluting us, Jim took off.

“Nana!” Emmitt called in frustration.  It reminded me of Liam when Aden wouldn’t share a toy.  “You couldn’t stop him?”

Just then, we heard Jim rev the engine again and squeal a tire on the blacktop road.  The sound faded much too quickly.

Nana glanced at me with a small smile.  “Jim was lonely without Emmitt.”

“I can tell,” I said absently, turning to watch Emmitt run a hand through his hair.  His lips moved rapidly, and I guessed if I stood closer, I would hear swearing.  “Did Emmitt miss Jim, though?”

She laughed.  “Let’s get you that towel.”

*    *    *    *

Emmitt finished mowing the backyard and moved to the front before Jim returned.  Pieces of grass stuck to our feet when Liam, Aden, and I ventured out onto the newly cut expanse.  I loved the smell of it.

Nana called to us from the porch and presented the boys with the gloves and ball that Jim had unearthed in the basement.

I helped them fit their small hands into the large gloves as she went to the garage to fetch a rake.  Without a glove to play, too, I grew restless watching the boys toss the ball to each other.

Living in confinement hadn’t been bad if I followed the rules, but it had been boring.  Given our options at that time, boring had been better than David’s harassing presence or Blake’s furious attention when I did something outside of the boundaries he set.  But being bored while the ticker ran in my head just brought my increasing tension into focus and reminded me that the ache would only get worse.

I went to the garage, found a second rake, and helped Nana, stopping occasionally to roll my shoulders.  I caught Liam watching me with a knowing look and was glad Emmitt wasn’t within sight.

The motorcycle roared into the yard while the mower still rumbled in the front.  The boys stopped their play to watch Jim park.  He put his feet down to stop and grinned widely at the boys.

“I’ve got some cool stuff for tomorrow!”

Liam looked at me for permission, but Aden inched his way toward Jim before I even nodded.  Jim stood and swung a leg over the bike, handing a bag to each boy as they crowded close.

I set the rake on the grass and joined them.  Through the plastic bags, I saw boxes for sparklers, smoke bombs, spark fountains, and more.  I didn’t see one food item.  I glanced nervously at Nana.  Jim had blatantly disobeyed.

The mower in the front quieted.  Jim grinned wider, looking down at the boys’ rapt expressions.  I doubted they even knew what they looked at.  Nana set her rake down and strode toward Jim to peer into the bags.

“James Grayson Cole.  That wasn’t your money.”  The growled intensity in Nana’s voice surprised me.  Even the boys looked up at her.

Though Jim’s grin remained on his face, it started to look a little forced.

“I got what we needed, Nana.”  He met her eyes steadily.

I watched the byplay, feeling uncomfortable.  There was an obvious silent message there, but I didn’t know what.  Would they start arguing?

Emmitt walked around the side of the house just then.  My heart skipped a beat at the sight of his damp shirt and glistening skin.  His eyes met mine as he closed the distance, and he gave me a wink.  My stomach did an extra special twirl.  On top of my nervousness, it didn’t feel too good.

He set a hand on Nana’s shoulder.  “Let’s save this conversation for another time.”

Nana’s eyes didn’t leave Jim’s, but she did nod in agreement.

Emmitt bent to look in the bag that Liam still held with uncertainty.  “Do you think we should light some of these tonight?”

Liam’s eyes darted to me, then between Jim and Nana.  I didn’t blame him.  It felt like the wrong answer could set off a landmine.  Even Aden looked at the group in confusion, his bag hanging loosely from his chubby fingers.

“I think we should go inside,” I said softly, holding my hands out.  Liam dropped his bag, and Aden immediately did the same.  They ran to me, wrapping their little hands in mine.

The three other adults didn’t move as I led the boys away.  I felt Emmitt’s eyes on me and risked a backward glance.  Our eyes met, his concerned and sad gaze followed my progress.  I quickly looked away.

Both boys remained quiet as we walked to the house, as did the group behind us.  I wondered what lecture waited for Jim.

We spent the rest of the evening in Emmitt’s apartment.  I discovered paper in one of the kitchen drawers and played tic-tac-toe with them.  When we grew bored with that, I found a movie we could all watch while lounging on the lumpy couch.  We remained quiet just like we used to do when David grew angry.  If we were quiet, he eventually calmed down; and we avoided being locked back in our rooms.

Dinnertime approached, and the annoying ache officially upgraded to a headache.  Since coming inside, I hadn’t heard anything from below.  Back home, a quiet house after Richard returned home from work meant trouble.  Neither boy mentioned anything about dinner so I ignored it, too.

Eventually Aden started to yawn, and I suggested we all get ready for bed.  Thanks to Nana, we changed into pajamas and snuggled in for the night.

Despite the pain in my head, I slept hard.

“But I’m hungry...”

The faint whisper penetrated my foggy mind.  Pain throbbed in my skull, steady and insistent.  I wanted to drift to sleep again, but I heard Liam’s solemn answer.

“Mimi’s head hurts.”

At five, Liam knew the power of my pain.  In the past, Blake had used it to gain my obedience.  It worked just as effectively as threatening the boys.

“It’s okay, buddy,” I mumbled lifting my head.  I pretended it didn’t feel like it would fall off.  “I’m hungry, too.” I blinked, and it took a moment to focus.

They stood beside the bed already dressed in swim trunks.  I wondered if we would still go to the lake after yesterday’s discord.

I pulled back the covers and stumbled from the bed.  Aden backed up, giving me space, and held up my swimsuit.  I smiled shakily and took it from him, unable to disappoint him.

“I’ll change after we eat, okay?”  He nodded and led the way to the kitchen.  When he turned the corner, I tossed the suit over my shoulder, not caring where it landed as long as he didn’t notice.

In the kitchen, I opened cupboards only to stare at their empty cavities.  The refrigerator equally disappointed me.  I looked at the boys.  We would need to beg from our neighbors again.  I hoped that Nana and Jim had worked out their differences yesterday and there wouldn’t be any lingering tension.

Forgetting about personal hygiene, I shuffled to the door.  The boys followed.  I heard Aden’s stomach growl.

“We’ll see if Emmitt has some food.  ‘K?”  He had been the coolheaded one of the bunch yesterday.

The stairs challenged me, and I needed to grip the railing to keep my balance.  I rolled my shoulders, subconsciously trying to ease the pain.  Liam moved beside me and held my other hand.  I tried smiling again and gave his hand a light squeeze.

Before the end of the day, I would be babbling and crying.  I needed to get rid of the information.

Emmitt stood at the bottom of the steps, waiting for us.  He tilted his head slightly as he monitored our slow progress.  The concern from yesterday crept back into his eyes.

When we reached the bottom, he stepped forward and gently touched my forehead. He pulled his hand back before I could lean into the comfort of it.  His light touch, though brief, lingered on my skin.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  Just a headache,” I said clutching the railing.

Liam stayed beside me, but Aden stepped forward, craning his neck to meet Emmitt’s eyes.

“I’m hungry,” he said with quiet uncertainty.

Emmitt smiled down at him.  “Of course you are.  You skipped your supper.  Would you like some pancakes?”

Aden nodded enthusiastically and reached up to hold Emmitt’s hand.  I looked at their joined hands, and my heart ached for Aden.  He obviously wanted a man in his life who could care about him.  I empathized.

“Would you like some aspirin or something?” Emmitt asked as Aden tugged him toward Jim’s apartment.

I shook my head—very gently—and followed them, still holding Liam’s hand.  Jim stood at the stove, cooking.  When he glanced back at us, he caught my eye and winked.  Had my head not hurt, I would have smiled.  Whatever happened after we left yesterday hadn’t changed Jim’s mood.

The smell of the grilling pancakes turned my stomach, but I sat with the boys at Jim’s kitchen island.  Emmitt nudged Jim to the side while talking to the boys.

“If you add a big scoop of batter in the middle,” he turned slightly to show Liam, “and add two smaller scoops to the top on each side, do you see what we can make?”  Liam shook his head, and Emmitt’s lips twitched in a smile.  “No?  Well, we’ll see if you can guess it when we’re done.”

We all watched Emmitt reach into the refrigerator and pull out the can of whipped cream.  He set it on the counter in front of Liam then turned to flip the pancake.  He let it in the pan for another minute before he put it on a plate.

“Ready, Liam?”

Liam nodded, and Emmitt uncapped the can.  Within seconds of applying the cream, Liam began giggling.

“Know what this is, yet?” Emmitt asked tilting his head to look at his creation.

Aden laughed with Liam.  For a split second, it’d looked like a famous mouse, but then the heat of the pancake had melted the cream so it looked more like a bear with a grimace.

“Well, that didn’t work so well,” Emmitt said, sliding the plate toward Liam.  “Try a bite and let me know if it tastes better than it looks.  I’ll start another one for your brother and sister.”

I struggled to swallow down the bile that rose at the thought of eating.  Sliding back, I nudged Aden off my lap and onto the stool then quietly excused myself.

I escaped outside into the fresh air.  On the porch, I leaned against the column near the stairs and looked out at the yard.  A warm, early morning breeze swept away the smell of cooking food, easing my stomach but not my head.  My eyes watered with the increasing pain.

Inside, a phone rang.  The sound chipped at my skull.  Thankfully, Nana answered on the second ring.

Emmitt came out to stand next to me.  “Liam said your head really hurts.  Are you sure I can’t get you something?”

Liam didn’t understand the cause, only the level of pain I endured.

“No, I’m fine.”  I didn’t move.

I could hear Nana’s conversation. 
“Sam, I don’t know any better than you do.  I thought all you did was research the trends, read financial reports, and watch for promising growth opportunities.  When I read the paper, I look at the funnies.  Now
that
I can help you with...”

My ears perked up.

Emmitt moved down to the step in front of me, bringing him closer to eye level as he faced me.  “If not aspirin maybe Nana has something that could help.”

I shushed him and turned slightly to look at Nana’s window, fully listening.  He tilted head, watching me.

Nana rattled off four characters, paused, and said four more.  “Just pick?” she questioned the person at the other end.

“Pick the first one,” I said over the pain.  Emmitt’s eyes widened slightly at my volume.  I could barely hear myself over the thumping in my head.  The information spilled from my mouth.  “Ride for a one point six increase then drop it.”

The pain abruptly disappeared, and I sighed before I could catch myself.  Emmitt still watched me, his expression carefully blank.  His striking, dark blue eyes saw too much.  My pulse picked up as I noticed details my headache had obscured.  His damp hair.  How close he stood.  The concern still in his eyes.

In the background, I heard Nana repeat my recommendation and wanted to cringe.  Instead, I forced my face to relax, keeping it bland.  How could I have been so stupid?  So obvious?

Emmitt’s calm gaze gave nothing away.  “We were still thinking of going to the lake after breakfast.  Nana went for groceries this morning.  Will you come with?”

I nodded slowly, waiting for what would come next.  Questions I couldn’t...wouldn’t...answer.  But he didn’t say anything about my headache or spontaneous yelling.

Instead, he nodded at my clothes.  “You might want to change.”

I looked down at myself and winced.  I still wore lounge pants and a baggy t-shirt.  Fuzz coated my teeth.  A blushed crept into my cheeks as I looked up at him again.  Amusement twinkled in his eyes.

*    *    *    *

Driving to the lake posed a bit of a problem.  My truck, technically, fit three; Nana’s cute car fit four; Jim apparently didn’t own a vehicle; and Emmitt had his bike.  Clearly, I didn’t want to drive, which meant tagging along with someone else.  Jim suggested we leave the truck because it drank gas and go with the motorcycle and car.  Everyone looked at me, and I didn’t immediately understand why.

Nana spoke up.  “It would be safest if the kids rode in the car.  That leaves the front seat open for someone while the other two follow on the motorcycle.”

Oh.  I looked at Emmitt and Jim.  Well, I couldn’t see them riding together.  Jim had a smirk on his face as he watched me have my epiphany.  It would serve him right if I insisted on driving with the kids.  I shifted my attention to Emmitt’s ever-watchful gaze.  He hadn’t questioned me when I acted weird before.  I owed him.  The thought of being so close set my stomach twisting and jumping.

“Do I need to go change, again?”  I wore shorts over my swim bottoms and a t-shirt over the top.  Sandals covered my feet.

“No,” he assured me.  “You’ll be completely safe.”

I didn’t contradict him but knew differently.  Not about the bike but about the stupidity of going to the lake or anywhere public now that my headache was gone.  However, after agreeing to it and my weird behavior this morning, I didn’t think there was a way to back out quietly.

Mentally sighing, I smiled slightly at my brothers who excitedly spoke to Jim.  If our freedom was limited, I couldn’t rob them of today’s adventure.  The problem of Blake would still be there after the lake.

I helped the boys buckle in and told them I would follow them.  They didn’t seem to care as they began to pepper Nana and Jim, who had already claimed his spot in the front seat, with questions about sand castles, swimming, and picnics.  This whole experience would be new to them.

Emmitt waited for me by the bike.  He sat first and held it steady while he pointed out where I should place my foot to swing my leg over.  He didn’t say anything about where to put my hands once I was on, though, and my palms started to sweat.  I mounted quickly without touching him and landed with a thump that bounced the bike slightly.  I mumbled an apology and reached behind me to hold onto the bar back there, not completely comfortable with wrapping my arms around him.  My stomach dipped in disappointment.  Stupid thing wouldn’t settle down around Emmitt.  Just another reason not to get too close to him.  I wasn’t sure how I’d really react.

Nana’s car pulled out, but Emmitt didn’t start the bike.  Instead, he turned to look at me.  “Are you sure you can hold on like that?”

I nodded, blushing, not meeting his gaze.

He hesitated, opened his mouth as if he would say something more, then turned around.  He slid sunglasses on and handed me a pair.  I would have rather had a helmet.  I loosened my hold briefly to put on the sunglasses.  The engine purred awake, and he eased the bike forward.

Nana waited at the end of the driveway.  When we approached, she turned right, and Emmitt smoothly did the same.

I discovered a love for motorcycles.  The wind whipped my hair in my face with stinging lashes, and bugs occasionally hit my shins with brief piercing bites.  But, I learned to crouch a little and tuck myself closer to Emmitt, who shielded me from the wind and bugs.  By doing so, I could revel in the freedom of the open ride.

At the first stop sign, I asked Emmitt to wait and struggled to braid my hair quickly.  Knots and tangles slowed my progress.  When I finished, I tucked it into the back of my shirt and told him to go.  The car had already disappeared.

He pulled away smoothly and sped up, quickly catching up to them.  Jim held something out the window—a camera—and Emmitt nodded.  He twisted the throttle slightly and pulled around the car.  I looked over in time to see two grinning boys in the back, cheering, and a bright flash from the front seat.

Emmitt pulled ahead, taking the lead.

A few minutes later, we turned onto another gravel lane, much nicer than their driveway, and followed its length to a sun-speckled body of water.  A sandy beach lined the shore beyond the empty parking area.  Seeing the vacant lot, I felt relieved that I’d offloaded my ticker information before arriving.

Emmitt pulled to a stop.  I quickly hopped off and stood on shaky legs as I waited for the boys.

“Did you like it?” Emmitt asked, studying me.

I nodded.  Far too much.

*    *    *    *

After testing the chilly, clear water, I chose to sit on the blanket Nana had spread on the sand.  It was the perfect spot to keep an eye on the boys.  Jim and Emmitt didn’t hesitate to join my brothers in the water.  I overheard Emmitt explaining the game of chicken to Liam.  He had Aden’s attention, too.

The sunglasses hid my wandering eyes as I watched water run down Emmitt’s chest. I rationalized away my guilt over my pathetic eye groping.  After all, Blake could catch me at any moment and shove me back into my prison.  Was it so bad to create a few happy memories before that happened?  My tiny, rational voice insisted it was, and that I shouldn’t be wasting mental resources gazing at Emmitt’s beautifully sculpted and glistening chest; I should be trying to think of a way to be free of Blake permanently.  I shushed that voice.

Nana reclined next to me, reading and occasionally flicking a glance at the water antics.  When she offered me a magazine, I took it to further disguise my growing fascination with Emmitt’s water-coated torso.

Despite the sunglasses and magazine, Emmitt always seemed to look up when I drifted from idle ogling to fully immersed fantasy.  My telling blush would cause him to flash a small, knowing smile which tweaked his dimple and set off a firecracker in my stomach.

Before the sun started to set, we packed up.  When Emmitt mounted the motorcycle, he offered his hand to help me, but I ignored it.  I didn’t do it to be rude.  I’d spent a good portion of the day mentally drooling and didn’t think physical contact would be in my best interest.  Still, I enjoyed the ride back as much as I had the ride to the lake.  Maybe more...