Miracle in the Mist (14 page)

Mindlessly, she groped for him, and when she found his arousal pressing against her thigh, she wrapped her hand around it and guided him to the spot where she longed for him to be.

He looked down at her. "Now?"

"Now," she whispered on halted breath, her voice weak with desire. "Please… now."

With the utmost care and gentleness, Frank slipped inside her, filling her up so completely, she couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't…

Frank could never recall another experience like this. She may have doubted herself, but he was sure she needed no instructions on making love. She had it down to a fine, tantalizing art.Being inside Carrie felt as if he were surrounded by hot coals, searing her into his heart and soul. Every movement of her body sent blood pulsing through him. Every throb of her body around him magnified the need for fulfillment. When his lungs began to burn, he had to remind himself to breathe.

He was precariously close to losing control, and he had to fight to keep from concluding long before he should. But each time Carrie squirmed or arched her body or dug her nails into his skin, he had to start the fight all over again. She was like a starving, wild woman. She responded to his every move with an untamed abandon that made him grit his teeth and fight once more to hold off his own climax.

His taut muscles screamed out in protest. Sweat slicked both their bodies, heightening the sensuality. Still they thrashed against each other, both fighting for the final satisfaction that would throw them over the precipice of desire and into the valley of completion, but neither of them wanted it to end.

When they could hold off no longer, it was if a bomb exploded inside Frank's head. He felt Carrie tighten around him and then arch her back one last time. Together they soared above the earth on ricocheting starbursts of light. Slowly the lights dimmed, and like a feather coming to rest, they drifted back to earth, spent, exhausted, and utterly satisfied.

Carrie snuggled against him. He held her close and waited for that reprimanding voice to tell him that he'd betrayed Sandy yet again. But it never came. What did come was an image of Sandy on the stream bank, smiling and nodding her approval. Deep down, he knew she would not hate him for finding happiness with Carrie. Still, the joy was bittersweet.

But one scar was still there, one pain that would never go away. That Sandy seemed to approve of Carrie did nothing to lessen his guilt at having caused his wife's death and that of their unborn child. He knew that guilt would never go away, no matter what Steve said and no matter what tricks Emanuel conjured to make it otherwise. That scar would remain on his heart until the day he died.

Frank's silence disturbed Carrie. This time with him had been so sweet, so… wonderful, she wanted to store it in her memory, untarnished, to be treasured for always. She thought she'd die if he didn't feel the same way. But she had to know. She had to have the courage to ask him the question she wasn't sure she wanted answered.

"Are you sorry?" she asked timidly.

He roused, as though from a daydream, shook his head, and brushed back the hair that clung to her damp forehead. "Never. What about you?"

She raised herself to her elbow and looked down into his dear face. "Since I have no memory of making love with anyone else, I can't tell you why, but right here," she took his hand and laid it on her heart, "there is joy and happiness unlike anything I've ever known."

A smile curved Frank's lips. "You sure are good at bolstering a guy's ego."

"I didn't notice your ego sagging."

Frank rolled to his back and laughed out loud. The sound delighted Carrie. Could this day get any better?

Impetuously, she jumped to her feet and threw her arms out to either side, then spun in a circle, totally oblivious of her nudity. "I am a new woman!" she cried to the heavens.

Frank stood and caught her in his arms. "Let's go swimming."

Carrie nodded and happily followed him into the water, knowing this was going to be the happiest time of her life—even if it ended tomorrow. It could. It might. Who knew what would happen then—especially here? But she had today—right now. This moment. And she wasn't going to waste a second of it.

***

Dressed and refreshed from their swim, Carrie and Frank walked hand in hand along the pool's edge. Carrie felt a peace unfamiliar to her—but not because she couldn't recall another day such as this. In the core of her soul, she knew with a certainty that she'd had few days in her life filled with this degree of happiness.

Not for the first time, she wondered if her life had, indeed, been that sad and empty. If it had, did she want to remember it? Wouldn't she be happier not knowing the truth?

The words Irma had spoken to her back in the cabin nudged at Carrie's conscience.
There is no future without a past
.

Irma was right. Carrie wanted a future more now than ever before. Glancing at Frank's profile, she smiled. Especially now. If she had to recall a past that she'd rather forget in order to have that future, then she would do it. But not now, not today.

"Why so quiet?"

Frank's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

She grinned at him. "Just enjoying the company."

He squeezed her hand, and then kissed her cheek. "Let's go up there." He looked up to the top of the falls.

Carrie followed his gaze. Her stomach dropped, and her knees weakened at the thought of climbing the rock face to the top. Why was she afraid? She couldn't tell, but the fear was real and deep and strong. "I don't know."

Frank turned to face her. "I'll be with you all the way. Promise."

Still she hesitated.

It's important to him. Look at his eyes. They're twinkling. Do you want the sadness to come back
?
Well, do you
?
You can do this, Carrie
.

Her head snapped toward Frank. Instantly, she knew it wasn't Frank who would have said the words. Who, then, would be with her all the way? Something in her pocket tapped against her leg. She slipped her hand in to see what it was. Her fingers closed around the tiny bear talisman she'd left on her night table.

She'd barely had time to wonder how it had gotten from Clara's cottage to her pocket when the bear warmed to her touch. Instantly, she knew the answer.

"Well?" Frank asked. "Do you trust me?"

She still wasn't sure she could do it, but with Frank beside her, she'd try. "Absolutely."

"Let's go."

Up close, the rock face was even more treacherous looking than it had been from below. But Carrie was determined. The first few feet, she held tight to Frank's hand, allowing him to guide her over the rough spots and pulling her up when the height seemed beyond what her shorter legs could manage to span.

"I've got you," he reassured her over and over, holding tightly to her hand. And she knew he did.

At first, each step she took demanded concentration and guts. Each glance down to the pool below left her stomach bottomless. But as time wore on and they climbed higher above the pool, Carrie gained confidence. She could do this, and suddenly, she wanted to do it herself. She wanted to prove to herself that she could make it without relying on Frank. Without relying on anyone.

Reaching deep down inside, she found a new determination and strength. She let go of Frank's hand and began making her way over the slippery rocks and through the narrow crevices. Sometimes her foot slipped, but she grabbed on to the rocks and continued the upward climb.

Before she knew it, she and Frank were standing on the overlook above the falls.

"We did it!" She grinned up at Frank and felt a surge of accomplishment so strong that she wanted to declare it to the world.

"Yes, we did," he said, gathering her close against his side and kissing the top of her head. "But more importantly,
you
did it, Carrie."

Lifting her gaze to his, her smile widened. "I did, didn't I?"

She'd reached down inside and found a courage she'd forgotten she had, and then she'd conquered her fear and moved upward. For a reason she couldn't put a finger on, she knew that was important.

But she barely had time to think about it. Frank was kissing her again, and she gave herself up to the rapture of it. Her knees gave way. They sank to the soft, spongy, damp grass and made love again with the roar of the falls echoing the passion of their joining.

***

Alvin stood outside Ellie's door with his hand raised, trying to decide if he should knock or just head back to the fringes of the forest. Before he could make up his mind, the door swung open. On the other side of the threshold stood Ellie and Emanuel.

Emanuel was smiling at him in that secretive way he had when he was up to something. Alvin hoped it didn't involve him, but he was afraid it did. Still a bit miffed at Emanuel for forcing the memory of that dreadful night in his New York apartment, Alvin gave the Elder a curt nod.

"I can come back later," he told Ellie and turned to leave.

"No need," Emanuel said and stepped around Alvin. "Clara has coffee brewing for me. Mustn't keep her waiting." He smiled at Ellie, inclined his head at Alvin, and then ambled down the path toward Clara's cottage.

For a while, Alvin watched Emanuel's progress up the path. Why, when Emanuel had always called him his friend, had he forced such a hurtful memory on him? When an answer was not readily available, Alvin wasn't surprised. Emanuel was a complicated man who kept his own counsel and very often did things the rest of the village didn't understand. Alvin doubted if anyone, with the possible exception of Clara, knew why the village Elder did anything.

"Alvin?"

Ellie's voice drew his attention back to her. She had stepped out of the cottage and stood beside him in a pool of sunlight. The beams glinted off her blond hair, creating a faux halo around her head. His heart leaped into his throat, and he had to swallow hard to dislodge it.

"Would you like to come inside?"

He nodded, not yet trusting his voice. She reentered the cottage, and he followed her into the living room and sank into his favorite chair beside the blazing fire. As he searched for the right words to broach why he'd come to Ellie, his endless questions about himself and Frank, the hands-less grandfather clock in the corner ticked away the minutes. At other times, he found the soft
tick tock
soothing. Today it rubbed his nerves raw.

He was so deep in his thoughts about the clock's irritating noise that, when Ellie slipped a cup of fragrant herbal tea into his big hands, Alvin started.

"Thanks."

Normally, tea was not his beverage of choice, but he was so preoccupied that he sipped it and started in surprise at the sweet, unusual flavor and the warmth it brought to his body.

"Odd thing about tea," Ellie said absently as she swirled a tea bag around in her cup, "the longer you drag a tea bag through the water, the more intense the tea becomes. If you let it stew too long, the tea becomes bitter and unbearable to drink." She glanced at him. "Very counterproductive, don't you think?"

He nodded absently. "I guess."

"Much like the troubles humans let stew inside them."

Alvin frowned at her. What was she trying to tell him? "Your point?"

"Why have you allowed your troubles to stew inside you for so long and turn you so bitter?"

Since Ellie normally used the same subtlety, sometimes to the point of ambiguity, as Emanuel often employed, Alvin was taken aback at her frankness. His mouth dropped open in shock.

She set her cup on the table at her side, then leaned forward and grasped his hands. "Alvin, do you enjoy all this pain you keep bottled up inside?"

For a long time he stared down at her small hands. Next to his they were so fragile looking, but he knew that they were strong enough to hold the tattered souls of the Assignments who came into the village.

Ellie tilted her head. "Well? Do you enjoy the pain?"

He glanced at her and then shook his head. "Of course not."

"Then why not get it out where you can look at it and see what you can do to get rid of it?" She sighed and dropped her gaze to their clasped hands. "It hurts me so much to see you in such misery. I want to help. Emanuel wants to help, but you won't let any of us get close enough."

Alvin pulled abruptly from her grasp and stood. "I shouldn't have come here today."

"No, you shouldn't have," she said quietly. When he swung back to frown at her, she smiled gently. "You should have come here months ago."

The room went silent. Except for the crackle of the fire blazing in the hearth and the endless tick of the clock, only the sound of their breathing could be heard. Ellie looked pointedly from Alvin to the recently vacated chair. He sighed and returned to his seat.

When he glanced at the cup of tea, Ellie giggled. "Would you rather have coffee?"

He let a smile sneak through. Ellie knew him so well. And her point was made, so there was no need for him to drink the tea just to be polite. "Yes, please."

A few minutes later, they were both sipping a cup of strong coffee. Ellie set hers aside and looked at him expectantly.

He knew what she was waiting for. He leaned forward, rested his elbows on his thighs, and clutched the mug in front of him. Slowly he began telling her of the argument he and Alice had had on the phone, then of his return to New York with his exciting news about the lucrative deal he'd closed with Grayson Tech. When he got to the part about what he'd found waiting for him inside the apartment, he stopped talking.

"There's more, isn't there?" Ellie asked quietly.

He nodded, not trusting himself to say the words.

She took the mug away from him and set it aside. Then she grasped his big hand in hers and looked him in the eye. "Remember, faith and trust, Alvin. Have faith that, though it may be painful at first, getting it out will ease your burden. And trust that I'll always be here to listen."

The warmth in her eyes flowed through him like life-giving blood. At that moment, he finally admitted something he'd known for a long time. He loved Ellie Stanton. He had for a very long time. That love gave him the strength to go on.