Mine to Lose (10 page)

“Babe,” he whispers, kissing my cheek, as
I lay sleeping. “C’mon, we need to get up.”

“Five more minutes,” I answer, rolling
over as I pull the comforter over my head.

When he peels the comforter back, he
brushes my hair away from my face and plants a kiss to the crook of my neck
that sends a shiver through my body, but I keep my eyes closed, just loving his
touch. His hand rests on my hip for a moment before it begins a slow movement
from my waist to my chest. “I can think of other things to do if you’re not
ready to wake up yet,” he says suggestively. The mere suggestion of early
morning extracurriculars leaves me restless, but he doesn’t yield his teasing.

“We can’t,” I whine, but only halfheartedly.
“Just lie here and hold me.”

His hand is splayed across my stomach and
he pulls me to lay on my back, and because I’m so tired, I follow his movements
lazily. Before I can register his action, his mouth is meshed with mine and my
hands thread through his hair, holding him to me. The feeling of him beside me
one second and over me the next leaves me aching for more and slowly giving in.

“Changing your mind?” he asks, as he
grins against my lips.

“You always change my mind,” I tell him
between kisses.

Being in these arms and feeling him
pressed against me is where I want to be. Screw work and getting up, my world
is perfect;
he
is perfect.

“Trey-” My voice sounds needy, even to
me.

The moment his name escapes, my arms
flail and I am jolted upright as I look around the room trying to figure out
what’s going on. Something inside finally clicks and I rub my eyes furiously as
they burn with the light creeping through the window. My heart rate is
accelerated and I realize that I’m in my bed.
Alone
.

“Not again,” I groan, throwing myself
back onto my pillow. I have woken up from the early stages of a dream.
A
bad, bad dream.
Guilt and embarrassment wash over me when I realize I was
about to have another sex dream about Trey, Mr. Miller - my client. My client
who is
not
my fiancé. The same client that has made it clear that he has
no interest in me. I have to chalk these dreams up to spending so much time
with him while planning his party.

It all started when he made a point to
tell me that he was no threat to Ryan. I never considered him a threat, but
when he put it out there, it seems that’s all I’ve been able to focus on. Of
course he’s not a threat, I love Ryan, and we are in the middle of planning our
wedding. Some of the details which we plan on taking care of this weekend when
he visits.

The cell phone is charging next to my
side of the bed and it begins buzzing, snapping me out of mentally chastising
myself. At first I think it’s my alarm, but I quickly discover that it’s
actually ringing. A surge of excitement runs through me when I see that it’s
Ryan, but my excitement fades when I remember I just woke up from a sex dream.
About Trey.

It was just a dream
, I try to remind myself, but I don’t think my brain
is getting the message.

“Hello?” I answer, clearing my suddenly
dry throat.

“Hey babe.” His tired voice filters
through the phone. “You up?”

“Yeah, just got up. You never called last
night. Everything okay?” I ask, looking at the time on my clock.

“Sorry about that?” he says in a tired
voice. “I had a late night; stayed behind to help Alex get this package
together to send out in the morning. We still didn’t finish, so we have to go
in early today, just to check it all and make sure it’s put together right.”

“That sucks,” I respond, still distracted
from my dream.

“Everything okay? You sound like you’re
getting sick.” I smile because he’s concerned about me, so I go along with it.

“Yeah, I might be coming down with
something,” I start, “and it doesn’t help that I got a crap night’s sleep last
night.”

He laughs lightly, and I can picture his
face when he speaks. “Sometimes you say the weirdest things.”

“It’s not weird,” I argue back, teasing
him. “It makes perfect sense to me.”

“Alright. If you say so. You have a busy
day ahead?”

“I have several meetings, and I have to
take my client to see a few florists today.” The moment I mention my “client,”
my cheeks burn, my neck feels hot and I start to look around like I’ve just
been caught, which is ridiculous since Ryan isn’t even here.

“Okay, then, I don’t wanna keep you,” he
starts. “I was just thinking about you, wanted to make sure we’re all set for
tomorrow.”

“I made sure to let Elle know that I’m
only working a half-day, so I’m all yours after that.”

“You’re always all mine,” he counters
quickly, leaving me grinning like some sort of idiot.

“Always,” I agree.

“I better let you go, I just wanted to
hear your voice before I started my day.”

“It’s a great start now.” I smile,
because it’s true.

“I love you, Em.” His voice grows
painfully quiet and I wish he were here holding me. “Call me later?”

He sounds so sad with that question and
my heart clenches. “Of course I will, and Ryan?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you, too.”

Our goodbyes late at night and early in
the morning seem to be the most intimate, the most real. There’s a pain to
them, something so raw. Every time we say it, I remember again how much I love
him, and why I’m doing my damnedest to make this work. Hanging up the phone, I
try to relax, when my dream comes blazing through my memory again.

“Shit!”

I take a quick glance at my watch and I
have just enough time to call Langley and see what she has to say. My sister
always gives the best advice, even if I don’t always listen to it. I hope that
I don’t catch her and her man, Reid, at an awkward time. Just thinking about
it, I want to hang up the phone and call later, but then she answers.

“Hey Emmy.” Her use of my childhood nickname
makes me smile. “Why are you calling so early?”

“I’m sorry, I was just about to hang up.
I know you probably have a busy day,” I admit, but only because I really don’t
want to talk now.

“I’m up now, what’s going on?”

“It’s nothing, really,” I say, trying to
come up with another reason for my call. But when I can’t come up with
anything, I go with the truth. “It’s just, I had a dream this morning. It was
starting to get pretty hot when I woke up.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” she teases.
“Besides, Ryan will be there tomorrow and you can take care of that.”

“Well,” I pause, unsure how she’ll take
the rest of it. “That’s the thing, it wasn’t about Ryan.”

“Trey?” she asks clearing her throat. I
hear her shuffle, I assume, to make sure she’s alert for my answer.

“Yeah?” I wince on my end, because saying
it out loud makes me feel really weird.

“This guy must be pretty damn good
looking if you dream about him.”

“Lang,” I groan from embarrassment, “this
wasn’t the first dream. I’ve had similar ones for a few nights now.”

“You’re overthinking this, okay. Ryan has
been gone for what, a month now? You miss him, you don’t see him every day like
you used to, but you do see your client rather frequently. It makes sense that
you would have dreams about him, but it doesn’t mean anything. You’ll get to
see Ry tomorrow, and I imagine when he leaves, you’ll be having all sorts of
dreams about what you want to do to him. It’s not a big deal.”

“Are you sure?”

“Do you want the dreams to mean
something?”

“Of course not,” I protest, offended by
her question.

“If you say so,” she says in that
condescending tone that only Lang can get away with.

“Why do you have to go there? I wasn’t
implying I want there to be something more, I know there’s nothing more. I just
needed you to help me sort through it. Hell, you’re the damn psych major, I thought
maybe you’d have some insight that didn’t come with a side of morning bitch,” I
snap in a snarky tone.

“Feel better?”

“Yes!” I huff before I start laughing.
“Thanks, I needed that. I gotta go; I’m already running a few minutes behind.
I’ll call you this weekend.”

“You better not call me!” Her voice is
playful. “I expect you to be tied up with Ryan all weekend, and I really don’t
want to hear any of the details. So just call me when you’re sitting on the
couch, curled in your little ball with your blankey and a box of tissues after
he leaves. Then I’ll remind you, again, why this will all be fine.” The way she
delivers this monologue implies she is familiar with getting my attitude in
check, although the blankey part is a stretch.

“I love that you have so much faith in my
falling apart,” I quip.

“If you didn’t fall apart, you wouldn’t
need me,” she snaps back, but she knows that’s a lie.

“Fine. You’re right, I’ll call when I
fall apart on Sunday, five o’clock work for you?” I ask joking.

“Yep, got you penciled in.” She pauses.
“Love you Emmy, it’ll be okay.”

“Thanks and again, I’m sorry I called so
early.”

When I hang up, I feel much better. Even
if the dream does come to mind, it doesn’t cause me to have guilty feelings or
even blush, so that’s a step in the right direction. I make quick time of
getting ready, which is a little easier since I had already pulled out my
burgundy knee-length flowing dress to wear with my favorite cowboy boots. I wash
my face and apply makeup, all the while glancing at the clock by my bed. I pull
my hair into a loose ponytail and rush to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.
I will need at least one to get me on my toes for meeting with the florists
today.

I had emailed Trey before I left work
yesterday to confirm our appointments with four of the local florists. I know
who my preference is, and I hope that it’s the one Trey selects, but it’s
important to give him options. He insisted on coming to the Elle E. Grant office
to meet me, because he wasn’t planning on going to his office today. Not
wanting to push it, I agreed.

I finish my cup of coffee and grab
another for the road. Yeah, it’s going to be one of those days. When I get to
my car, I realize that I have random articles of clothing, empty bags and trash
scattered throughout. I rush to grab one of the bags and do a half-assed
cleanup, tossing everything into my trunk to deal with later. Ryan would be
beyond irritated to see what a mess it is, but he’ll never see it this bad
since I plan on cleaning it this afternoon. I sit behind the wheel and turn the
ignition; the time reads seven fifteen, more than enough time to get to the
office. I plug in my iPod and find a song to listen to on the way there. “Lucky”
by Jason Mraz fills the car, and I start off for work.

Our wedding group at Elle E. Grant
probably has the hardest job because, not only are they on a deadline, but they
also have to work with bridezillas. I’m so happy that I get to handle the
corporate events, even though I’ve helped with a few weddings since I started
here.

Elle asked everyone to come in early
today since there are three weddings on Saturday alone. She usually has three
employees for each event. I would normally step in, but with Ryan’s arrival
tomorrow, it just won’t work. I was more than happy to come in early, but I
still won’t be much help since I have an appointment with Trey. I emailed him
yesterday to confirm the time, even though I don’t feel it’s necessary for him
to be there. This event seems to be really important to him, and since he’s the
client, he calls the shots. If he wants to be there for every meeting, with
every vendor, then so be it.

“Emogen.” The sound of my name over the phone
on my desks grabs my attention. “Trey Miller is here to see you.”

“Thank you, Callie.”

I look over to Cam, who is knee-deep in
York-Slayde wedding details. “Cam? We still on for movie night tonight?”

“Yeah,” she responds automatically, never
looking up, “see you later.”

I pause for a moment, wondering if I
should make sure she heard me, but she’s in the zone, and you don’t mess with
her when she’s like this. “Alright, see you then.”

I make my way to the front and notice
Callie trying to gain Trey’s attention. She’s a cute, spunky girl, but he
doesn’t seem to notice. It’s a shame, because she’s smart and funny, a far cry
from the clean-cut girls I imagine he dates.
Why am I thinking about the
type of girl he dates?

“Mr. Miller,” I call out, earning a
raised eyebrow. “I’m ready when you are.”

He smirks and I know that he’s annoyed by
my use of formal titles. He leads the way and addresses me as he holds the door
for me, “Ms. Kane.” I can’t help but feel somewhat awkward being with him. I
mean, I just had a really nice dream about him.
Not Ryan.

“If you don’t mind, I’ll be driving
today,” I inform him, mainly because I need the distraction of the road. “We
have several stops to make, and I don’t want you to have to rely on my
directions. So if you wouldn’t mind, I have the maps of our stops.” He might
know this town better than me, but
I
know
me
. If I let him drive,
I’ll probably be checking him out the entire time.

I hand him the paperwork for the locations
and his fingers brush mine when he takes them from me. I shudder at the brief
contact, loving it and hating it all at once, but I do my best to conceal it.
When I look away I feel his eyes on me, so I chance a look in his direction, but
he is looking over the list of places we will be visiting.

“I guess we better get moving,” he says,
flashing a flirtatious smile. “Which is your car?”

I point to my old Acura that still looks
new, and as we make our way toward it, I make sure to keep a safe distance from
him. As I make my way to the driver’s side, I finally speak, “Hearts and Flowers
is expecting us in about thirty minutes. We should have enough time to get
there, right?”

He climbs into the passenger seat and
shuts the door before looking at the address. “Yeah, that shouldn’t be a
problem. We’ll just take a few side streets and avoid the construction on
Mason.”

I give him a tight smile and nod,
acknowledging his instruction before turning the ignition. I begin driving out
of the office parking lot knowing, at least to a point, where I need to go. The
conversation is relegated to a ‘turn here,’ or a ‘make a right at the next
light,’ which is fine with me. But I guess that’s not enough for him because he
eventually breaks the silence. “Is everything okay, Em?”

“Yeah,” I answer innocently. “Did I miss
a turn or something?”

“No. I mean, what’s going on? You’re
acting a little strange.”

“I’m fine.” I try hard to sell it.

“If you say so.” It’s obvious that he’s
not convinced, but I’m glad he lets it go. It’s not like I’m going to tell my
client,
‘Oh ya know, just started having a sex dream about you this morning,
and now I can’t stop thinking about it.’
I laugh at the absurdity and catch
him looking at me bemused.

“Any big plans this weekend?” he asks as
a genuine smile that answers for me spreads across my face. “Ah, the fiancé
must be visiting.”

“Yeah, he comes in tomorrow afternoon,” I
confirm, feeling like a kid on Christmas Eve. “I’m going to take a half-day off
to be with him.”

“So he’s okay with us working together?”

I feel my smile fade and admit the truth.
“Actually, he doesn’t know it’s you. It’s not that I think that it’s a big
deal, I just don’t want to cause any undue drama.”

We arrive to the first flower shop and it
comes at the perfect time. I don’t enjoy having my life on display, especially
with Trey asking the questions. I pull into a parking spot and grab my files so
we can meet with Katelyn. I gave her all of the information she needed for this
meeting, but I’m less than enthused about this. She has been hard to get a hold
of, and when I finally do, she conducts herself in a way I deem unprofessional.
We walk into the small shop that is full of fragrant, beautiful flowers but no
Katelyn in sight.

“Hello?” I call out, hoping someone is
here.

“Just a minute,” a low female voice calls
out. She sees me and turns her nose. “Can I help you?”

“Hi, I’m looking for Katelyn,” I say,
knowing this is her but curious how she’s going to play it off.

This woman has a huge chip on her
shoulder, and I can’t help but wonder if she greets all customers this way. But
her attitude changes when Trey comes to stand next to me. Yes, he is a handsome
man, but good grief, she acts as if he’s God’s gift to women. She drops her
attitude and smiles right at him, ignoring my presence, and extends a
well-manicured hand to him. “I’m Katelyn.”

He shakes her hand as I make
introductions and her smile never waivers. She starts on a hard sell about what
she can do, and shows us an album of weddings and corporate dinners she has created
arrangements for in the past. I’m not too impressed, but the arrangements on
display in the shop
are
beautiful. I don’t know what I expected from
meeting her, but I feel less than wowed by her efforts. Trey and I leave,
telling her we’ll be in touch. I hope that he has no intention of using her. I
put the information she provided in the file and give him the address of the
next shop we’re visiting, so he can navigate.

Fortunately, the drive to Flowers by
Jaysen is only ten minutes, which is filled with discussion of his impression
of Katelyn. I’m relieved to know that he thought her lack of preparation was
pathetic, and her obvious interest in him laughable. He ended it with some
squirrel reference that I didn’t quite get, but he seemed to be amused by.

When we arrive to the shop, I purposely
leave the ‘information’ we received from Katelyn in the car.
We won’t need
that.

The flower shop is quaint, but trendy,
and as I take the two steps to the entrance a thin, tall and handsome guy
greets us at the door. “Emogen?” He cocks his head and squints when he says my
name.

“Yes, and you’re Jaysen.” I extend my
hand to shake his and he swats it away, in exchange for a hug. I don’t hug, personal
space and all.

“We’ve talked on the phone so many times,
I feel as if we’re already old friends,” he says with a smile when he releases
me.

I return his smile before introducing
Trey. “This is Trey Miller, from T.M. Enterprises.”

“Someone thinks highly of himself,
T.M.
,
”
he comments on Trey’s company name, emphasizing his initials. My eyes bug out,
shocked by his brazen observation, but Trey just smiles.

“Great minds, huh?” Trey says with a self-confident
shrug, pointing to Jaysen’s sign, in reference the flower shop’s name. I
imagine no one has ever said that to his face before, but Trey smiles and shakes
his head.

“Oh yeah, we’re going to get along just
fine,” Jaysen says over his shoulder, as he leads us to his office.

“Emogen already told me that your colors
are lilac and brown, so I took the liberty of creating a few centerpiece
arrangements to show what I can do. She mentioned that you don’t want oversized
arrangements to get in the way of your guests chatting, and I totally agree.”

“Great,” Trey and I both say in unison,
so I nod and he finishes, “let’s have a look.”

Jaysen gives me a crooked smile and
raises his eyebrow in question, and I go wide-eyed. I give him a tight shake of
my head, hoping he moves on, and to his credit, he completely reads me. Trey is
already ahead of me, so he misses the entire exchange. I follow both of them
and gasp when I see what Jaysen has put together. Not only did he work up an
arrangement, but he also put together a table, complete with a brown tablecloth
and dark lilac napkins. There is a white place setting, with a small name
placard thanking the person for their business. And at the center of it all is
an understated, yet beautiful flower arrangement. A small square vase contains
an assortment of purple flowers, in varying shades, with splashes of cream and
brown twigs woven in. It looks amazing, exactly what I envisioned when I told
him the look I was going for. I can’t believe he was able to do this based on just
our conversations.

“This is perfect,” I say in hushed tone,
before realizing they heard me. I look at Trey apologetically, because he has
the ultimate say. But he just nods his head, as if he reads my mind.

 “I think you’re right, Em.” He
looks away from me to Jaysen. “This will be great.”

Jaysen gives us a confident nod, as if he
knew it was in the bag, “So what are you going to tell those other florists you
were supposed to meet? Because we know, I’m the best.”

I can’t argue it. In fact, I don’t want
to see the others, but we have meetings already scheduled. “We have two more to
see, but I will let you know something by the end of the day.” He smiles, and
for a second, he appears unsure.

Trey leads the way toward the entrance
but steps aside to let me pass. When I do, his hand accidently brushes mine,
causing tingles to run down my spine. But when I look at him his deliberate
smile tells me that he knows exactly what he’s doing. There’s nothing I can say
about the gesture because he looks over at Jaysen who looks like his eyes are
about to pop out.
I guess he saw that, too.

“It was nice to meet you Jaysen. Emogen
will call later today to make it official.” And with that, he steps past me and
continues walking out the door. I turn to Jaysen with a shock-filled look and
he gives me a wide smile.

When I reach for his hand he pulls me
close and whispers in my ear, “What was that all about?” I look at him and
shrug, still stunned. “Well, figure it out and let me know. That man is hot.”

* * *

We meet with the other two florists, and
as suspected, they were ill-prepared, as well. Our meetings with each of them
last no more than twenty minutes, one ending when Trey faked an urgent work
situation he had to get back for. I am grateful for his white lie, and follow
dutifully, since I need to get my client back to the office.

“Are you hungry?”

“I’m fine,” I say driving toward the
office. “I’ll grab something at the office.”

“Okay,” he responds. “So what do you and
Ryan have planned this weekend?”

I feel the smile creep onto my face. “We
have some wedding details to take care of on Saturday, but other than that, I’m
not sure. We’ll probably end up at Wired Spirits, that’s where a few of our
friends like to go.”

“How long has he been gone?”

“It’s only been a month, but it’s been a
really hard month. Thankfully work and my friends have been my saving grace.
It’s hard being away from everything you know.” I don’t know why I just shared
so much with him, but I don’t feel weird about it.

“Having friends around is really
important,” he says, looking at me a little too intimately. “And working with
me won’t be a problem, right?”

I’m thrown off by his question, because I
thought we already covered this, but if I have to say it again, I will. “He
doesn’t know that I’m working with you, but it won’t be a issue. Ryan is a
great guy, and he’s proud of the work I do. He would never interfere. And he’s
not the jealous type, anyway.”

“Could have fooled me, Em.” The way his
voice dips when he says my name causes something to stir inside me.

Thank God the girls are coming over. A
movie and wine is the distraction I need.