Mindguard (29 page)

Alex sighed and
despondently stared at the floor. Tamisa placed an understanding hand on his
shoulder.

“I know this is
hard, Alex. I know you’re confused and scared, but you are doing the right
thing. You are helping these people. Once this is over, you’ll see that I was
telling the truth. You’ll see that you can trust me. And then I want you to
join my team.”

Alex did not see
that coming. The look of confusion on his face must have been really funny
because she chuckled. It almost came off like she was flirting with him.

“Of course,” she
said, “you’ll have to show me that you can out-maneuver Sheldon Ayers. He’s
your idol, you want to be just like him? Here’s your chance to surpass him
and
save his life in the process.”

With those
words, she turned around and left the room, leaving Alex before the most
important decision of his life.   

●

Alone in the
narrow hallway, Tamisa had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself. Every
cell in her body wanted to just pick up the young mindguard, smash his head
against the wall a few times and order him to get to work. Time was running out
and the situation was spiraling out of control. Every second mattered. She
couldn’t afford the time it took to gently secure his cooperation. And yet,
that is exactly what she had done. She knew she could achieve a lot more by
gaining the man’s trust than under the threat of physical harm, so she had to
remain calm. It had been incredibly challenging.

Tamisa felt
exhausted and she also felt ashamed. For the second time, she had used her
sexuality to her advantage. With Francois Gaultier, she had felt a perverse
pleasure in turning his libido against him. With Alex Lea, she just felt dirty.

It was the
opposite of what she stood for and it was not what she had set out to do in her
career as an enforcer. However, one had to use every weapon in one’s arsenal,
the commander himself had taught her that. At that moment, it did not make her
feel any better. She had not only sexually manipulated Alex Lea, she had also
lied to him.

As she reached
the far end of the hallway, Tamisa found herself in front of the heavy access
gate to the ship’s containment area. Francois Gaultier and Ray Manner had
already been transported to the detainment center on the Terra Antiqua Orbit
Station, but there was one more prisoner who could not be moved yet.

She reached the
containment area infirmary. The computer recognized her iris and the door slid
open. On one of three beds, with a complex life-support system monitoring his
vital signs and a web of motion-activated neurostunners spread over his naked
body, lay the most important prisoner of all: Maclaine Ross.

Nikolaos Apostolos
was my friend. I have never met a more ambitious, more intelligent man. He was
determined to be the very best at everything he did. Some say it was his
inquisitive nature, his spirit for adventure and discovery, that steered him
towards his untimely death. They say perhaps he should have lived his life with
more caution, but I cannot disagree more. I find myself guilty of those very
same character traits - yet I am still here. No, Niko’s death came about as a
result of a tragic accident, a random occurrence. For in the end, no matter how
powerful or unique a person may be, we are all subject to the randomness of the
universe. Niko’s inquisitive nature, his desire for knowledge and his thirst
for discovery have not caused his death. They have, instead, enriched his life.
His individual accomplishments in the many fields of activity he pursued are
unparalleled, and I know how proud he was of the work that he did. I know
because I have known him all my life. Niko did not have a family, he chose to
focus his time and energy on advancing humanity. Because of that, we are all
his family. And therefore, as a member of his numerous family I say… goodbye my
brother!

Horatio Miller’s
eulogy for Nikolaos Apostolos at the ceremony held after the man’s
disappearance and presumed demise during an adventure and exploration trip

Destiny!

The word came to
mind every time Nikolaos looked in the mirror. Since his self-imposed exile on
Kalhydon, living among the very ill, he started each morning with a rigorous
ritual. First he said a prayer to the Lord, the unseen guardian of his life,
who held his destiny in the palm of His hand. Then he went to the mirror, where
he carefully inspected every inch of his naked body. The ritual usually lasted
over twenty minutes.

Soixtet’s
disease always debuted with small, almost indiscernible protrusions on the
skin. From that moment, death was inevitable. Some of the afflicted died
quickly, they were the fortunate ones. The others survived for a longer time,
up to a few years. They lived to see their bodies slowly fall apart, pieces of
skin dropping off like autumn leaves.

For two years
Nikolaos Apostolos had lived in this pesthole. Every morning, he examined his
body in search of the protrusions, the small harbingers of death, and every
morning he found nothing.  He had never heard of anyone being immune to
Soixtet’s. If the Lord had chosen him to be the first, then he knew that there
must be a reason. Perhaps he was not yet meant to die, perhaps the Lord was
protecting him because there was still something he needed to do. 

Nikolaos always
considered that being a man of faith meant being a man of responsibility. He
did not know why the good Lord had chosen to protect him from this horrible
disease, when other - certainly more deserving people - were tortured by it
every day. It was not his place to question His judgment but he decided to make
the most of each day by helping his brothers in any way he could.

He helped them
with their chores, for any physical strain came with tremendous pain. He fixed
things that needed repairing, and treated them when they were ill. He was
determined to continue doing this until the day the first marks on his body
announced his ultimate fate and afterwards until the day he could no longer
stand. Perhaps this was his destiny. Perhaps this was the reason God was
keeping him alive, to help the brothers when no one else would. 

His education
had shaped him into a scientist. He believed that the world functioned
according to certain inflexible laws of nature. He did the work of his mind
guided by this conviction. But with his soul, he believed that there was
something greater than nature to govern over those laws, and he did the work of
his soul guided by
this
belief.

He did not like
to discuss his faith. However, he did so with the brothers, for he wanted them
to know about the work of God, that they may find some comfort in their
tortured existence. His own beating heart and his healthy body were proof that
the Lord had plans which would not bend to the will of biology.

Destiny!

Over and over
again that word echoed in his mind as he once again inspected his body and
found it healthy. He washed himself and ate a quick breakfast of garad fruit,
indigenous to the planet and incredibly delicious. He thought about the work he
had to do that day. Sister Nora’s roof needed fixing. Since her husband died a
few months ago, Nikolaos - under the guise of Brother Torje - visited every
week to help with the more difficult chores.

He put on his
thinnest robe, for it was particularly hot that day. He stepped outside,
shading his eyes, allowing them to adjust to the extremely bright sun. When he
took his hand away, he saw a man in front of him. The man’s entire body was
covered in what looked like black scales. Nikolaos immediately recognized the
Guillermo armor, designed to protect the wearer against contamination. He
instinctively knew why that man was there, and who had sent him.

The day of his
demise was finally here, but it was not in the way he had expected. Could it be
that his destiny had already been fulfilled? He helped the people of Kalhydon
for a brief period of time and now he was going to die. His life would end and
their suffering would go on - it seemed so senseless. 

“What is your
name?” he asked his would-be murderer. His voice was calm, it did not tremble.
He felt as if he were speaking to one of the brothers. 

“My name is
Louis Larring, Mr. Apostolos. I was sent by Horatio Miller.” No mouth was
visible when the shielded man spoke. His voice was muted by the Guillermo
armor, but even so, Nikolaos recognized no malice in it.

“Sent to kill
me,” Nikolaos said. It had not been a question.

“Yes,” said the
assassin.

“I presume he
also has a message for me.”

“That is
correct,” Louis Larring calmly answered.

Nikolaos smiled.
Of course. I still know you so well, old friend. Your hubris is as
predictable as your brilliance is remarkable
. He invited Larring to speak
with a slight nod.

“Educator Miller
knows that you despise him for trying to take your life, and he understands.
But you have placed yourself in a position where your actions can contribute to
the downfall of humanity. That which you have discovered together – and don’t
worry, Mr. Apostolos, I was not made privy to this information – is a flaw in
the natural order of human evolution. It must remain unknown. It must be
un-thought. Those are his words, Mr. Apostolos.”

“Yes, his
words,” Nikolaos said with a bittersweet  smile. “I would recognize them
anywhere.”

“Would you like
me to deliver a reply?”

“Please,” he
answered in a faint voice. “Tell him ‘If the Lord wants something known, He
will make it known. If not through me, then through someone else’.”

“Is that all?”

Nikolaos took a
deep breath and let it out slowly. He wanted to savor it, for it was going to
be his last. “Yes, Mr. Larring.”

“I admire your
dignity, Mr. Apostolos,” Louis Larring said,  without a trace of
dishonesty.

He stretched out
his right hand towards Nikolaos, who could see the man’s scaly fingertips
starting to glow red. The Doctor closed his eyes and prayed for forgiveness.

●

The shot was so
loud its sound traveled to the nearby village. When Nikolaos opened his eyes,
he saw Louis Larring lying on the ground, dead, missing the left side of his
head.

Destiny!

He was alive,
there was work still to be done! He turned to see from where the shot had been
fired, and he couldn’t believe his eyes. He did not know the wounded man, but
he knew the young woman. He knew her very well and he loved her deeply, for he
had watched her grow from a quiet, withdrawn child into an intelligent and
beautiful young lady.

“N-n-niko,”
Sophie said, shaking.

“Sophie, miracle
of miracles,” the doctor shouted.

The girl held
the shotgun as if it had a mind of its own. She looked like she wasn’t really
sure who had fired the shot, though the gun had been in her hands when it had
sent Louis Larring to his death.

“Who was that?
Is he dead?”

Nikolaos could
tell that the girl was in shock. A brief surge of panic rushed through him, when
he realized that this was Horatio Miller’s daughter and that she was pointing a
shotgun in his direction. He quickly dismissed that thought. This was Sophie,
whom
he
loved like a daughter. She would never harm him, no matter what
her father had done. She was also the only reason he was still alive at that
moment. 

“Who is that
man?” she repeated, pointing the barrel of her shotgun towards the dead
mercenary. Then, as if she had just noticed that she was speaking with her
longtime friend:  “I… I thought you were dead.”

Nikolaos decided
not to start the conversation with the phrase ‘That man was sent by your father
to kill me'. Instead, he pointed at the wounded Sheldon.

“He is badly
injured,” he said. “I’m going to need your help, if we are to save this man.” 

“That’s Sheldon
Ayers,” Sophie said, as if those words contained within them the meaning of
life.

Do not set the
table in advance, if you have even the slightest uncertainty about the number
of guests you will be hosting.

Old Proverb
circulating in the Enforcement Unit Academies, attributed to Prime Timekeeper
Nolan D’Mikaly

“So, it’s not
that bad?” Sophie asked, clinging on to hope, determined to ignore reason with
all the stubbornness of a child.

“It’s very bad,
my dear,” Nikolaos said. His voice was that of a true father. “I just meant he
will not die right now. But his chances for long-term survival are very slim.”

Sophie couldn’t
hold back her tears. Because of everything that had happened in the last few
hours, she had started harboring a naïve hope, that maybe they would make it
after all. It almost seemed like some mysterious force of destiny was really
watching over them.

They had escaped
the enforcers. They had fallen in a river and managed to swim to shore. They
had been attacked by desert dwellers and they managed to escape. And now, the
unlikely reemergence of a friend she had long thought dead - a friend whose own
life she saved by just being in the right place at the right time - had
prevented Sheldon’s death. All those events seemed so unlikely, that something
inside her refused to believe that it was all by chance.

And now, Niko
was telling her that it was all for nothing. He had operated on Sheldon on his
dining room table, with instruments he had carried with him on what the world
thought had been his final journey. He managed to stop the bleeding and close
the wound, but Sheldon lost a lot of blood and the completely unsterile
conditions of the impromptu surgery would unquestionably cause an infection. It
was just a matter of time. 

“Barring a
miracle, I don’t think he has much longer,” Nikolaos whispered.

Sophie was
devastated. When she broke out in tears, her old friend embraced her and held
her tight.

“You obviously
care about him a lot,” he said softly. She answered nothing, because she didn’t
know what to say. When she no longer had the energy to cry, he stroked her
cheek and looked into her eyes.

“Don’t lose hope
quite yet,” he said. “And don’t dismiss a miracle so easily.”

He proceeded to
tell her about the island of Kalhydon and its unfortunate inhabitants. She was
heartbroken, hearing of their merciless destiny.

“I have been
exposed to the disease every single day for two years,” Nikolaos whispered. “I
should long be ill. And yet there is no symptom. It’s as if God were protecting
me, as if I still had -”

“…something to
accomplish,” she said. She knew exactly how he felt. She had never shared
Niko’s belief in a god, but the events of the last few days had left her unsure
of what to think. Was the universe protecting them, helping them reach their
goal? Or was some mythical god watching over their lives? It seemed ridiculous,
but it felt real. She looked at Sheldon, who was unconscious, resting in Niko’s
narrow bed. He would have surely dismissed the idea.

She watched him
breathe and realized with great pain that he would soon breathe no more. Even
though she only knew him for a few weeks, she could no longer picture a
universe without Sheldon Ayers. She remembered Isabel’s warning about addiction
to a mindguard’s protection. For the last few hours, since their arrival on
Kalhydon, Sophie no longer felt Sheldon’s protection. It had slowly faded away.
His mind had left hers. It made her feel completely exposed and vulnerable. It
was terrifying.

Niko gently put
his hand on Sheldon’s forehead, to check if he had a fever. His sadness was
obvious, the sadness of a healer who could no longer help a fellow human being.
Sophie recognized the Niko she had always known, the compassionate man whom she
loved like a father. In the shock of the last few hours and the torment over
Sheldon’s fate, she had never gotten the opportunity to ask him what happened.

The whole world
thought he was dead and yet there he was, hiding on this godforsaken island.
When she finally asked him about this, he closed his eyes as if he had dreaded
the question. He looked like a man whose worst nightmare had come true. When he
finally opened his eyes, there was much love and sadness in them. The entire
moment felt surreal. It made Sophie very anxious.

 “Sophie,
I…” He shook his head as if to say ‘no’, like he was trying to stop himself
from talking. Then, he looked to the ground and slowly nodded. A feeling of
dread overtook her, one that she hadn’t even felt when her life had been in
danger. It peaked when he finally worked up the courage to face her and his
expression spoke of things she was not sure she wanted to hear. Strangely, it
felt like he was about to tell her something she already knew, but refused to
acknowledge. 

“You know I love
you, Sophie,” he said. “You know I would never lie to you.” 

Without being
invited, Sophie sat down on a small wooden chair next to the bed where Sheldon
was sleeping. Nikolaos took a seat at the dining table, facing her. When he
spoke, it sounded like he was reciting a prayer.

“A little over
two years ago, your father and I set out on one of our travels.”

Sophie didn’t
nod or say ‘I remember’, though she remembered it very well. The last image of
her beloved uncle Niko stepping through the gateway on the Miller property,
together with her father, would follow her in her dreams for two years.

She remembered
the day her father had come back from that fateful expedition. Word had gotten
out about Niko’s disappearance, and press had gathered in the front yard of the
Miller estate, waiting for the surviving adventurer to return home. When the
gateway appeared, and a pale, thin and visibly shaken Horatio Miller stepped
through, he completely ignored the journalists and walked right up to Sophie
and her mother. He hugged them both and then told Sophie that her uncle was
dead. She remembered it like it had happened five minutes ago, and it hurt just
like it did then. But she said nothing, letting him speak instead. 

“There was
nothing unusual about this particular expedition,” he continued. “You’ve joined
us on some of our travels yourself, you know what it’s like. Some are more
dangerous than others but in the end it’s always about the same thing: balance.
We had this game we always played. We chose a departure place and from there,
we randomly picked an uncharted planet as a destination. We used a personal
transporter to open a gateway and send a probe through, only to see if the new
place is biologically hospitable to life. If we had a viable atmosphere and
survival temperatures, we just stepped through head-first, ready to face any
risks the planet could throw at us. We’ve helped chart many new planets this
way.

You see, dear,
we knew it was dangerous and foolish. Charting expeditions are usually made up
of many men, with tons of equipment, not two hotshot scientists with backpacks
and portable gateway generators. It was foolish… but we did it anyway.
Sometimes, in a life where there is too much order, you need to insert a trace
of chaos, to stop the mind from going numb. Your father and I are men of
thought. We spend our lives as prisoners of reflection, moving around in an
endless cycle of ideation, constantly absorbed in work that is shaped by our
very minds.”  

Sophie
inadvertently looked at Sheldon.

“Sometimes the
pressure can be maddening. When you are trapped within the confines of your
own  head all the time, you start searching for an occasional escape. It
keeps you… sane. It keeps you balanced. On that particular journey, we reached
Carthan. It was the farthest we had ever traveled. We knew the Djago Desert was
dangerous, but with every new trip, we felt like we wanted more. There was a
feeling of… bonding, which we both enjoyed. Talk about balance; we were
responsible for each other’s well-being. There is no greater symmetry in life.
Fighting for survival kept our minds alert in a way that our work in the
Mylonas laboratories did not. It was something entirely different. It was
freeing. We had to risk our lives to feel that they were even worth fighting
for. Carthan and the Djago Desert were the biggest risk we had ever taken.

We reached
Carthan in the morning and stopped only so long as to have breakfast. I am not
a  man who is easily frightened, but there is something intimidating about
that planet. The sound of the permafrost cracking underfoot is menacing. The
color of the sky - an off-green - something about it causes severe anxiety. You
just feel like you want to leave the place as quickly as possible. Your father
felt it too, and he is a lot harder to faze than I. He said something
interesting, ‘It is as if the planet is consciously trying to offend the human
sensibility’.

We used the
holopad to generate a hypothetical map of the cosmic surroundings based on
gravity microanalysis. The device detected four imaginary planets. One of them
was so far away, it was almost unreachable by the Muench-Henriksen gateway.
There were no other planets in its vicinity, which was odd. It seemed as if
that planet was purposefully seeking isolation, which is ridiculous, but it was
enough to arouse our curiosity.

It was farther
than any man had ever traveled, that was something we thought we knew for sure.
Carthan itself is uninhabited. It was charted, but not yet included in any
scientific programs. For all intents and purposes, it’s a dead end. We were
sure nobody had ventured beyond Carthan. I can remember the spark of curiosity
in your father’s eyes. Surely, he must have seen the same in mine. The problem
was that we were receiving a very weak signal and little to no information
about that mysterious planet. We sent a mobile probe but the data we received
was inconsistent. We had no way of knowing if the planet was hospitable to life
or not.”

“But you went
anyway…”

She hoped that
Niko felt the accusation in her voice:
You went anyway, risking your lives
as if they belonged only to you and not also to the people who love you
.

“Yes,” Niko
answered, tenderly but truthfully. “In those moments, we felt almost drunk,
hypnotized by the incredible intellectual rush of discovering new worlds, being
the first to step on grounds that had never before been walked by man. The
frenzy of exploration is a feeling that is unmatched in human history. The
threat of death potentiates it even more.”

Sophie nodded as
if to say ‘I understand’, though the look on her face expressed that she
clearly didn’t.

“Your father
entered the planet’s coordinates and dialed. I remember that the last thing I
was thinking when we stepped through the wormhole was…” He stopped for a few
seconds to chuckle. “Well, actually, I was trying to make a mental calculation
in order to figure out our odds of surviving the trip and coming out safely on
the other side. I guess there are certain habits you just cannot drop, even in
the face of death. I wasn’t finished when we set foot on the planet and I
realized that we were still very much alive. From the moment we stepped
through, we felt that something about this place was different.” 

“Opus Caine,”
Sophie said, pronouncing the words as if they were a magic spell. Niko nodded.
“So, your father told you.”

“Yes, I -”

“Please…” He
silenced her with a gesture of his hand. “I don’t know what your father said,
or how much you know. But I am certain that he hasn’t told you everything.
Please, just… let me tell you the story…
my
story… from start to
finish.”

She said
nothing. She didn’t want to hear it. She felt that Niko’s story would change
her, that it would challenge everything she thought she knew about herself and
her life. She felt it. But there was no going back. She remained silent,
allowing him to speak. 

“You have no
idea how much I wanted to tell this to someone… to anyone… but I couldn’t.” As
he spoke, his eyes filled with tears. “The fact that God brought you here, so
that I my share the story with you of all people, is incredible. You have to
believe that every word I speak is the truth.”

When he said the
word ‘truth’, Niko’s face grew dark - the bearer of bad news.

“The scenery was
unbelievable. Remember, I told you about Carthan that it seemed to have been
especially designed to repel the human sensibility; this planet was the
complete opposite. The temperature, the humidity, the atmospheric pressure,
everything was so pleasant. It was like that one perfect spring day you
remember from childhood, when it is not too hot and not too cold, but just
right. There was a breeze. The sky was covered with clouds of the most
wonderful shapes. Light seemed to emanate from inside them, as if they were
giant lanterns. I can still see it now, as clearly as if it were right in front
of me. The grass was a vibrant green and the trees bore fruit. Sophie, are you
familiar with the notion of paradise, the garden of God?”

“Yes.”

“It was like that.
It was as if the place had been drawn up from man’s ideal image of nature. I
started crying because I felt such a strong connection with the world around
me. You father started laughing, like a child who just discovered that
everything in his room was made from chocolate.” She picked up a strange
inflection in his voice, behind which there seemed to be great
pain.   

“We sat down on
the grass and decided to have a small picnic. Usually, the places we ended up
in did not offer us this opportunity. They were mostly hostile and we would
have to struggle for survival every second. That was the beauty of our travels
together, that was what we craved. But it felt good to be in a place where you
could just sit down and enjoy the vast beauty in tranquility, without struggle.
You know your father always carried a bottle of wine with him wherever he went.
No matter how dangerous a situation, he would always find a place to which to
retreat and enjoy a drink. He called wine a ‘beverage suitable for any adventure’.
A drop of culture in the harshest surroundings, there was a poetic beauty to
it.” Again he chuckled, remembering the adventures of his youth. And again, his
face grew dark, as if there was something his heart would not let him forget,
even for the briefest of moments.