Mindf**k (4 page)
Authors: Fanie Viljoen
‘Are you in or out?’ Kerbs asked Friday morning.
Sky seemed uncomfortable.
‘In or out?’ Kerbs repeated.
‘I’m just saying: we should be careful.’
‘Careful about what, Sky?’ I could see Kerbs was irritated. He jammed more stuff into the boot of the car.
‘I don’t know! Okay?’
‘Well I know. You should learn to relax
more. You take life far too seriously. This weekend we’re going to party like the fucking world is going to end.’
Sky shrugged his shoulders.
‘So, are you gonna chicken out, Sky?’
Sky stared at me. I’d made my decision. I was going. It was the weekend. I wasn’t going to sit at home and watch TV just because Sky saw some blood.
‘I’m coming with.’
‘What are we waiting for then?’
We had to take my dad’s car. Kerbs’ car was broken. He explained precisely what the problem was, but what did I care. That old piece of metal with the flames on the sides was in any case only a coffin with flash rims and Firestone tyres.
Kerbs decided that we should blow the dust of my dad’s speakers. He turned the volume way up. System of a Down’s
‘Steal This Album.’ (And he had obliged as requested.)
I leaned forward and set it softer. ‘I can’t hear myself think.’
‘You shouldn’t think. You should feel.’ He turned it up again.
Sky laid stretched out on backseat. How he could sleep through all the noise, only he knew. He said he needed to get his beauty sleep for the night.
Kerbs lit a joint. He took a deep puff and holding it in, he passed the joint on to me. The sweet aroma oozed through my body. How they could ban this stuff was beyond me. I mean, why should all the good stuff be banned? Should life remain shitty? Are we meant to be confronted with Riaan Cruywagen’s wig every second night while he tells us how corrupt the world is? Why don’t they ban the boring stuff?
Politicians, for example. That boring lot of assholes that only steel our money and
still want us to vote for them every few years. But I won’t vote for somebody just because he stuck his fucking mug shot onto every streetlight in our neighbourhood. That, by the way, is also the only time you see them in the neighbourhood, up on the lampposts during elections. Man, those fuckers can’t even see to it that those bloody posters are removed after the elections – how are they going to run a country? Especially this country with its political correctness whenever it suits.
I say ban politicians.
And while you are at it, also ban taxis, Morning Live, women’s magazines, Teletubbies, traffic cops, Matric, newspapers, crappy ‘but wait there’s more’ adverts, cyclists, ah fuck, every pathetic shitless thing that is doomed to hopeless failure.
‘Stop!’ Kerbs shouted over the music.
My colon nearly knotted with fright. I slammed on the brake, almost ramming it
through the floor. The car skidded across the road and came to a halt.
Even Sky jumped up on the backseat.
‘What the fuck?’
‘Reverse!’ shouted Kerbs.
‘What the fuck?’ Sky repeated.
We all stared back.
‘Give her a lift. She’s also going to MindFuck. Check out her cardboard sign.’
We were on the N1. The small town of Winburg was on our right-hand side. Under the off ramp stood a girl. Black hair. Skinny, with nice tits. And she needed a lift.
It was like a sum total you couldn’t get wrong even if you tried.
1 + 1 = 2
Or: 3 + 1 = 4
As easy as that. No two ways about it. We had to take her with.
‘No,’ said Sky. ‘Leave her.’
‘What the fuck?’ laughed Kerbs. ‘And you’re not even high.’
‘We’ll vote.’
Sky lost, of course.
I drove backwards the hundred metres or so. She had seen us. She grabbed the blue bag at her feet and came running.
Sweet, I thought.
‘Can I get a lift?’ she asked as Kerbs rolled down the window.
‘Hey, I never say no to a nice girl like you. Jump in.’
‘Kerbs, where’s your manners? Let the girl sit in front,’ I said.
Kerbs glared at me. ‘You want her all to yourself, ha?’
I smiled. ‘Come on, Kerbs. When last did I ask you for something?’
Kerbs got out and climbed in at the back with Sky. I saw him explaining to Sky how big her tits were. He had this look of satisfaction on his face. Sky only shook his head. I got back on the N1 again.
‘So, who are you, where are you going?’ the girl asked.
‘We’re going to MindFuck,’ I said. ‘This is Kerbs, Sky and I’m Burns. And you?’
‘I’m Tina. But this weekend you can call me Partygirl.’
‘Oo-eei!’ Kerbs shouted. ‘Partygirl!’
I looked at Partygirl. She was genuinely nice. Cherry-red lips, blue-blue eyes and a skin like vanilla yogurt. She wore jeans and a black T-shirt that read: Fit in or fuck off.
‘Aren’t you afraid of hiking?’
‘No, I always do this. Never had any problems. You’re not going to be the first guys to give me problems, are you?’
‘No, we’ll behave ourselves,’ said Kerbs with a devilish smile.
‘But I hope not too much,’ she laughed. She turned to me. ‘Especially not you.’ She put her hand on my leg, rubbed a bit higher. I felt myself growing stiff.
‘Change the CD,’ Sky shouted from the back.
‘Where’s my bag?’ Partygirl asked. Kerbs handed it over from the back. Partygirl ruffled through her things and removed one of the Springbok Nude Girls’ CDs. The Fat Lady Sings. ‘I want to get Arno Carstens to autograph it for me.’ She slipped the CD into the front-loader and skipped to track 2. It was ‘Blue Eyes’.
Partygirl closed her eyes as the guitar
started playing. After a while she said: ‘I love this song. It’s about suicide amongst policemen, did you know?’
I shook my head. Arno’s haunting voice filled the car. Even Kerbs fell silent. We simply listened.
Just before twelve we turned off to Aldam. We made our way down the curving road, past the trees, and later the big dam wall. As a child of the Free State, for me this was one of the big dams. I only knew Allemanskraal Dam and Erfenis Dam. Erfenis Dam where we went fishing when my grandpa was still alive. Every once in a while we went to Aldam for a weekend or only for the day. I remembered the game reserve where you had to look around damn hard before seeing anything at all. But the animals were there, we were probably just impatient because they didn’t line up next to the car so that we could check them out. We are the TV generation. We want everything
easy. Why would you want to search for the animals amongst the trees, bushes, grass and rocks?
At Aldam you could also fish, jump trampoline, play put-put, and there were these big swimming pools, the dancing area and the restaurant with the stuffed up animals in the dark hall on the way to the restaurant.
That’s what I remembered, but it had been a while since I’d been here. Suddenly the gate I knew from my younger days came into view. (As if I’m so bloody old now.) A large thatch roof covered the road, painted walls stretching out to the sides. There was a large banner extending across the thatch roof: MindFuck Rock Festival.
Kerbs rolled down the window, leaned out and shouted: ‘Let’s get this party started!’
Partygirl followed his lead. She sat in the open window, arms on the roof. ‘Yesss! MindFuuuuck!’
The man at the gate only shook his head. Security, dressed up in a white shirt and black trousers. I stopped next to him.
‘Morning, sir,’ he said to me.
‘Unfortunately sir couldn’t join us. He had to stay at home.’ Partygirl giggled softly.
Another person appeared from the gate cubicle. He asked for our tickets. The first guard looked in the boot for hidden passengers, and then shot a glance behind the backseat.
‘Don’t worry, we didn’t hide anyone. You’re wasting your time,’ Partygirl told the guard. The guard only nodded. He took his job very serious.
We all received yellow plastic wristbands.
‘Don’t remove these. If you don’t have one on, you’re out. No excuses. And these are the rules. Every party should have
rules. Enjoy.’
I took the brochure from him. The other guy handed out plastic bags which read MindFuck on the side, through the window.
I gave them to Partygirl. ‘Oh, presents for me.’ She passed along Kerb and Sky’s bags to them. The red and white boom rose up and I drove through.
‘Condoms!’ Kerbs yelled as if it was the first time ever he had seen one. He immediately started blowing one up, tied a knot at the end and pinched it in the closed car window, leaving it to flutter about on the outside.
‘What else is in there?’ I asked.
Partygirl unpacked the stuff on the dashboard:
- six condoms
- a sample of suntan lotion
- a plastic sunscreen from one of the sponsors
- liver pills for tomorrow’s hangover
- a small plastic key holder in the form of a brain being bashed in with a hammer
- a Blunt-magazine
- a program with the weekend’s happenings
Signs indicated the way to the festival grounds. I followed them, while Partygirl changed the CD. Karen Zoid. Her other favourite, she said, because the girl had balls.
The party was held alongside the dam. From the hill I could see the roof of the stage sticking out. Only one? I thought. No wait, there was another one further off. Probably to ensure that the sounds didn’t clash. The second one was smaller. For up and coming bands seeking exposure, Partygirl read in
the program.
‘Tomorrow morning there’s an open mike session for anyone interested in seeing what it’s like to be a rock star.’
Kerbs rammed Sky in the ribs. ‘Hey, we have to go.’ Sky only sat there like a wet panty.
‘I’ll join you, Kerbs,’ Partygirl said above Karen Zoid’s voice. She sat back to front on the seat, with the program still in her hand. ‘They supply the band, all you have to do is sing. It’ll be a blast!’
‘I want to smash a guitar to pieces,’ Kerbs said.
In the rear-view mirror I saw a smile creep across Sky’s face. And I saw Kerbs checking out Partygirl. Without thinking, I placed my hand on her leg. She glanced at me furtively but didn’t remove my hand.
We made our way down the steep tar road towards the dam. Slowly, because there
were speed bumps. We passed the caravan park. There were open spots set out but few people had started using them at that time. We were going to try and find a place near the water. That’s where things were going to happen.
A gravel road appeared before us. Alongside it there were large trees towering above stretches of tall grass. Where the trees ended the ground was covered with fine grass. It was here where the music stages and the ramps for the BMX and FMX competitions were set up. A large area was demarcated, reaching up to the water’s edge – the place where the tent town started growing. There were already a crapload of cars. And guys and girls in different stages of undressing.
‘Stop,’ said Kerbs. ‘I’ll find us a nice possie. It’ll be easier than driving around looking for a spot.’
Sky got out with Kerbs. Partygirl and I watched as they disappeared amongst the people, cars and tents. Already there was
music coming from the main stage. I didn’t know the band. Probably new to the scene.
Partygirl and I were alone in the car. She looked at me as if expecting me to say something. One of those uncomfortable silences. But inside my head there was a blaring noise. She was so damn hot. I stared at her body underneath the black
T-shirt
and I longed to slip it off her. I wanted to touch her naked skin. Caress her naked breasts. Watch as her nipples got hard. Kiss her on …
‘All right, guys, follow me!’ Kerbs shouted.
Fuck, just when I started getting excited.
Kerbs ran out ahead of the car. I followed him slowly, carefully trying not to drive over the tents that had already been set up.
It was truly a nice spot Kerbs and Sky had chosen. Ten steps away from the water. A bit damp, but it was okay. That was where
we’d settle down for a kickass weekend.
I got out of the car and made my way down to the water to stretch my legs.
The dam’s waves rippled and broke continuously against the shore. A small bird waded around looking for food in the shallow water, not at all bothered by all the people. Further away, a large, black bird stretched its wings, gliding across the water. On the other shore some animals – cows perhaps – roamed on the lime green grass.
I turned around when I heard unfamiliar voices behind me. It was the guys in the tent next to us saying hallo.
‘Where are you oukes from?’
‘Bloemfontein,’ I said.
‘And Winburg,’ Partygirl added.
The guy with the dreads frowned. He didn’t have a clue where Winburg was. ‘We’re from Jo’burg.’
Fuck, huh, I thought, and what’s that to me? But they looked like a nice bunch of dudes. Later on I saw a few girls hanging around with them.
Sky started unpacking the stuff from the boot. I noticed that he wasn’t himself. He hadn’t talked much during the journey. He removed the tent, which I had borrowed from the neighbours (without them knowing about it). The cooler bags, tog bags and other various shit followed.
‘Are you okay?’ I asked him when Kerbs started setting up the tent.
He shrugged his shoulders.
I didn’t enquire any further. My cell phone rang. It was my dad, I saw on the screen. I didn’t bother answering. I knew what he wanted.
I closed the car’s boot and went to help Kerbs with the tent.
