Mind Games: An Urban Fantasy Novel (The Lillim Callina Chronicles Book 6) (4 page)

That was weird too because okay, he was attractive, but thus far I hadn’t really thought about him that way. He was just some guy my mother had cajoled into taking her poor pathetic daughter around. That did not make me want to like him in any sort of way, but with him looking at me like I was about to break, I suddenly wanted to prove I wouldn’t. If I was so fragile I wouldn’t climb up onto the roof of the gym, now would I?

“Let’s do it,” I replied, nodding toward the gym.

“Alright!” Charlie said, and grasping my hand in his own, led me away from the clock tower and toward the gym. We were next to it a moment later, and I realized the problem with our plan almost immediately. The ladder to the roof started about six feet up the gym’s wall, probably so maintenance personnel could get up there with their own ladder, but mischievous teenagers couldn’t climb to the top.

I could probably climb up there if Charlie gave me a boost, but I was wearing a skirt. If he got under me, I’d totally flash him. A blush crossed my lips as I stared at the ladder. There had to be another way…

“So how do you do this?” I asked, glancing at Charlie who was looking up at the ladder, dismay etched onto his face.

“I have no idea,” he replied, sheepishly. “I should have brought a ladder or something.”

I stared at the metal rungs stuck into the building’s sides for a moment longer when an idea struck me. There was a thin hand-rail running about three feet off the ground. Maybe if I stood on that, I could hoist myself up?

“Let me try something,” I said, putting my hands on the rail and testing it with my weight. Not only did it not break, but it seemed quite sturdy.

“Um, what are you doing?” Charlie asked as I hoisted myself up onto the thin rail and grabbed the stone wall with one hand, balancing myself.

“Standing,” I said, smirking at him as I slowly stood. Now the lowest rung was at about chest height. “I think I can climb from here.” I grabbed onto one of the rungs, and as I did so, my foot slipped off the railing. I fell backward, a shriek tearing from my mouth as my hand slipped off the slick metal rung.

“Lillim!” Charlie called just as I crashed on top of him, knocking us both to the hard concrete sidewalk. I lay there, my heart trying to beat its way out of my chest, thankful I hadn’t brained myself on the cinderblock wall on the other side of the walkway.

Charlie groaned from beneath me, and I realized I was sprawled across him. Had he tried to catch me when I fell? Embarrassment filled my cheeks as I got slowly to my feet. I probably should have been hurt, but Charlie must have broken my fall pretty good because the only thing I felt was stupid.

I stared down at him as he got slowly to his hands and knees, not quite looking at me. “Sorry,” I muttered, and my voice was so quiet I wasn’t sure if he heard me.

“You’re heavier than you look,” he said, getting to his feet and rubbing his neck with one hand. “And I mean that in the nicest way possible.”

“Thanks,” I growled, suddenly not as concerned with knocking him to the pavement. You know, for saying anything other than I was lighter than a leaf on the wind.

“So how about we go get that pizza now?” he asked, looking from me to the gym wall again. “Unless you want to try again?”

“No, I’m good,” I replied, my cheeks flushing. I didn’t remember being clumsy, but my fall had been anything but graceful. And why had I wanted to go up there so badly anyway? It was weird. “We can go get pizza.”

“Alright,” Charlie said, moving past me and heading down the ramp that wrapped around the gym. “But don’t go ordering a salad just because you think I called you fat when I didn’t. I think you look fine.”

He stopped as he said the last words, practically mid step. I watched him closely. Why had he suddenly gotten so tense?

“Thanks,” I replied, and his shoulders eased. “That’s so nice of you to say.”

Charlie turned and smiled at me. A little flutter went through my chest as he waited there. It was a little crazy because I’d just fallen on top of him, and he was sanctioned by my mother no less. Two strikes against him, and yet somehow, looking at him made some very uncomfortable feelings well up inside me.

I mean, I remembered dating Caleb and him being captured, but at the same time, Caleb had also been a patient at Mercer & Mercer. He was supposedly just another inmate like I had been. So why did looking at Charlie, right now, make me feel guilty? I shook the feeling away and bit my lip before making my way toward him.

“So what kind of pizza do you like?” I asked as I reached him, and he offered me his arm. Against my better judgement, I took it and let him lead me toward the parking lot.

“I usually just get pepperoni,” he said before dropping his voice several decibels. “But sometimes when I’m feeling particularly dangerous, I get mushrooms too.”

“You eat fungus?” I asked in mock horror, raising my free hand to my mouth.

“Yeah,” he smirked as we reached his Beamer. “It’s why I’m such a fun guy.” Then he winked at me, actually winked at me.

“You’re a dork,” I said as he released my arm and opened my door. It was a little weird because while I appreciated the gesture, I was sort of annoyed that he’d let me go. That was strange, right? I mean, I’d only just met him. Something was very wrong, only I wasn’t quite sure what it was. Still, as I slid into the seat, I couldn’t help but think of Connor, the boy who I had supposedly met on my first day of school. The one who I could have sworn had a pair of gilded octopus eyes on his forehead.

When I’d first seen him at Mercer & Mercer, I’d slugged him as hard as I could, prompting a good tackling by annoyed staff and another three weeks back in solitary. By the time I’d gotten back to the yellow ward, Connor had been released. I hadn’t seen him since.

Chapter 5

A screech across the room jolted me awake. I leapt from my bed, looking around in fright for the source of the noise, my hands balled into white knuckled fists. What was it? A vampire? A werewolf? Something worse?

My alarm clock sat on my desk, shrieking like a barn owl as the ominous red numbers glowed on its surface, yet try as I might, I couldn’t quite make them out. I rubbed my eyes in confusion and reopened them. The clock read 6:00. Without thinking, I flung my hand toward it, trying to silence its squeal with my magic. It remained unconcerned with my power and kept ringing. I hated it. A grumble left my throat as I strode across the room and smacked the black case with the butt of my palm. It shut off at once, leaving me standing there in abject silence.

Sunlight was just starting to spill through the blinds covering my window, leaving my floor covered by ominous slats of light. I stood there looking at them as I tried to remember what happened after I’d gotten into Charlie’s car. We had gone for pizza, right? I sort of remembered it, but as I made my way to my closet, the memory felt fuzzy, which was weird. It’d just been a few hours ago, and while I’d slept since then, I should remember it clearly.

“It must be the drugs,” I said, glancing at the orange pill bottle sitting on my desk. I shook the thought from my head. “Either that or my brain is actually melting. And now I’m talking to myself.” I tore my gaze from the medicine and opened my closet, wishing not for the first time I still had a soulbound ghost to talk to.

Before Mattoc had sacrificed himself to save me, it’d been nice having him around because sometimes he answered when I spoke to myself. It had made me feel less insane. Then again, he might have been completely made up. The thought chilled me in a way I hadn’t expected. Had I really made up an imaginary friend and then killed him off?

Before the idea could take root, I pushed the thought out of my head with surprising ease and turned back to my closet. There were so many outfits inside. I wasn’t quite sure which one to wear. That was one thing about my memories I sort of missed. I’d never had a lot of clothing so my wardrobe was easy to figure out. Now I had a closet full of stuff I didn’t remember acquiring, and it was my first day of school. To say my nerves were racked was an understatement.

It took me so long to find an outfit, I didn’t have time to eat breakfast, but that was good because I was getting fat. I grabbed my book bag off my chair and as I picked it up, found the stupid clothes I’d laid out the night before. Part of me had the nagging feeling I’d done that, but try as I might, I couldn’t get the memory to focus enough for me to find said outfit. I ground my teeth together as I stared at it. Did I have time to change?

“Lillim, hurry up!” my mom called from the kitchen, her voice echoing throughout the house. “We’re leaving in two minutes.”

“Okay!” I called back, shouldering my little black backpack and deciding I didn’t have time to change into the pale green cardigan and tan slacks. Nope, I was going to be forced to wear my pink Supergirl t-shirt and jeans. Why Supergirl? Because she was invincible, and I was terrified. I was hoping some of her strength would rub off on me. I mean, what was going to happen when I stepped foot onto school and everyone saw me. There’d be pointing, snickering, and pitying looks. “Oh, there goes the crazy girl,” they’d all say.

“Ready?” my mom asked from behind me. I turned to see her standing there in business casual, a smile plastered on her face. She held out a paper plate with two pieces of toast covered in strawberry jam and butter. “I made you toast.”

“Thanks,” I said, taking the plate from her even though it was full of carbs and carbs were bad and not just because I was more of a meat and more meat type of girl. Unless of course, those carbs were French fries, but those didn’t count. French fries went into a separate stomach like snacks. Still, I was going to eat the toast. It wasn’t a good idea to go to class on an empty stomach after all. My belly could rumble during first period and make everyone look at me. Oh God, today was going to be so embarrassing.

The next thing I knew, I was sitting in my mom’s car, all buckled in. I was chewing a bite of toast, the piece still in my hand. I looked around in bewilderment as she pulled out of the driveway and turned onto the street. How had I gotten out here? I tried to remember, but only the vaguest impression of having gotten into the car filled my mind. That was weird. It was like I was missing time, but that didn’t make sense.

“Mom?” I asked around a mouthful of toast even though it was way rude. “Does my medicine cause memory loss?”

“Why?” she replied, sparing me a quick concerned glance. “Do you feel like you’re forgetting things?”

“Not really, I just wondered what sort of side effects I could expect,” I lied even though I didn’t know why. Okay, I knew exactly why. I didn’t want her to say no after I admitted it and toss me back in Mercer & Mercer. I didn’t know why, but I had the feeling if I went back there, it might be for good.

Even if this world was completely imaginary, I didn’t want to spend my time in a made up mental hospital. Still, it’d been weeks, and I still hadn’t found any real indication everything was, in fact, made up. No, on the contrary, every day made me feel like I had been crazy and only now, had woken from a dream, albeit one with missing time I couldn’t remember.

“I’m not sure,” she said, a smirk crossing her lips. Was she on to my lie? “I’ll check with your doctors later.”

“Awesome,” I groaned sarcastically and finished my toast. It was strangely tasteless for having been heaped with butter and jam. I must have lost my sense of taste from nerves. Well, that was lame. The only upside to eating carbs was tasting them.

We pulled in front of my school a second later, and I stared at the old, stucco-covered cement main building in shock. We’d just left the house, how could we be here already? Oh man, I was losing it. Unless… no, no, this had to be real.

I sucked in a deep breath as my mom leaned over and squeezed my hand before wrapping me in a hug and kissing my forehead. “Good luck,” she whispered, and her words were strangely comforting.

“Thanks,” I replied, disentangling myself from her even though I didn’t remember her hugging me very often. “I’ll need it.”

“No, you won’t,” she said just before someone knocked on my window. I leapt out of my skin and whirled around, my seatbelt going tight.

Panic rose in me as I pulled my fists up, ready to fight off the person as the door opened to reveal Charlie. He stood there in a tight-fitting blue Superman t-shirt that had muscles painted onto the abs even though he clearly didn’t need the paint.

“Hey, Lillim. Mind if I walk you to class?” he asked, holding out one hand to me. How had he found me? Had he been waiting for me to show up? That was kind of creepy, but maybe the pizza dinner I couldn’t quite remember had gone better than I thought? Maybe we’d agreed to meet up before class? But why? If it had gone
that
well I should have remembered it, and what’s more, why would he want to be seen with me? The crazy girl?

It was one thing to show me around the school when no one was here and quite another to do it in full view of the other kids. He might as well be walking through lion country with a wounded antelope.

“Sure,” I said with a blush as I unfastened my seatbelt and threw one last look at my mom. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” she called as I shut the door. It slammed with a strange air of finality, and as I turned back to look at her car, she was already pulling into traffic. I sighed.

“Ready?” Charlie asked, reaching out and taking my hand. Like every other time, it was strangely shocking, only this time, my knees went a little weak too. I glanced at him, and even though I tried to pull my hand away from his, I found I couldn’t even make my arm move.

“I guess,” I replied, staring at our hands in shock. Why wouldn’t my arm move? Then it did move, and Charlie pulled me forward. Which was when I realized I was wearing Supergirl to his Superman. We must have looked ridiculous. Oh, God… Had we planned this? Maybe that’s why I’d wanted Kara Zor-El to lend me her strength. Maybe subconsciously, I’d remembered? Either way, as people glanced in our direction, I realized one thing. No one gave a damn what we were doing. Everyone was lost in their own little world. Thank everyone and everything.