Milky Coffee and Office Gossip (9 page)

Opening his door, he could only gasp and stare. Purple-blue irises covered his desk. Potted, of course. Every flower Corey had received till now had been alive and healthy. Not the cut, dead stuff.

“Well, looks like somebody fancies you.”

Corey tensed immediately, then turned around because he knew the man wouldn’t just vanish by ignoring him. When Corey found himself face to neck with Richard, words deserted him.

The man still looked good, but he had nothing on Remy. His infatuation with the man had merely been that. A crush that had resolved to nothing over the now five months following the incident.

“So, who is it?” Richard asked, grinning down at him.

“Uh, Remington Yates.”

“The lawyer?” At Corey’s nod, Richard tipped his head to the side and said, “Yeah, that fits. He’ll keep you in line.” The man’s eyes widened when he noticed Corey’s wince and the way he took two steps back from the taller man. “Shit, that came out wrong. I mean... you seem like a guy who needs someone to take care of you. Coddle you a bit. Even if I hadn’t been with Dave when you made your interest clear, it wouldn’t have worked between us. I’m not the coddling guy.”

Yeah, Corey could see that now. Still, he felt ashamed for what he’d done. “Are you still together?”

Richard’s concerned expression turned sunny again. “Yup. Dave will move in next week.”

“That’s great, I’m happy for you. And I’m sorry for—”

“Nah, it’s okay. No harm done. Sure, I was mad as hell and wanted to wring your neck when you tried to convince Dave that I was fucking you behind his back. In the end, the whole episode brought us closer together, you know?”

Corey pulled his brows into a frown, not sure if Richard was only placating him. “How so?”

“Well...” Richard shifted nervously, scratching the back of his neck. “Dave is a bit skittish. Didn’t want to settle down and all. Then, when he thought I was looking at other guys, he realized how much I meant to him,” the taller man mumbled. It was endearing to see a man of such physical strength all shy and mushy.

Corey grinned and asked, “So, you don’t want to wring my neck any longer?”

That had the other man laughing. “No! And just so you know, I told the other guys and those vultures at the office to leave you alone. Didn’t help though.”

“No, it didn’t. Thank you anyway,” Corey said and sighed. It wasn’t as if he cared any longer.

“Why does he send you flowers? The lawyer, I mean,” Richard elaborated when Corey looked up at him, confused for a second.

“He’s wooing me. The old-fashioned way.”

“Lucky you.” Richard’s friendly pat to his back almost sent Corey sprawling.

Saturday morning, a delivery guy handed a sleep rumpled Corey a box containing a big, hot milky coffee, warm waffles, and another envelope. With that gesture, Remy secured himself a place in Corey’s heart. Who in their right mind could resist hot coffee and warm waffles, delivered to one’s front door?

As soon as he bid the delivery dude good-bye, Corey hurried back into the kitchen. He poured the coffee into a porcelain cup, placed a waffle between his teeth, and scrabbled at the envelope with his free hand. When he’d peeled out the letter, he sat down and read while happily munching his breakfast.

My dear Corey,

Yesterday’s Iris stands for
Fidelity.
In my last letter, I told you my heart is only yours. I meant it. That promise includes my body. Never will I allow another man to touch me, nor will I touch another man in a sexual way while we’re together.

You know I played the field and wasn’t picky in the past. However, I’ve never cheated on anybody, nor did I deliberately sleep with someone who was in a committed relationship.

You’re everything I want and need and I’d never hurt you by cheating on you. I can’t promise I’ll never hurt you, we’re only human and we can fuck up. What I can promise, is that I’ll never intentionally hurt you. Your happiness and well-being are way too important to me.

With fidelity, I’m not only referring to fidelity in a sexual way. It means to be honest with you outside the bedroom as well, something I lacked in the past. I missed not expressing my feelings with words, thought actions were enough. Unfortunately, they weren’t, and I fear it cost me the best that ever happened to me. You.

How I can be sure that you’re it for me? Honestly, I have no idea, but it feels right to be by your side. It feels right to hold you in my arms and let you hold me. I adore these quiet moments when there’s only you and I and nothing else. The world stands still and nothing matters but feeling you. I hope you appreciate my honesty. Right now as I write these words, I’m trying to work up the courage to confess—at least to myself—what my feelings could mean. I’m sorry I don’t have a better answer just yet.

Now, to lighten up the mood, more info about me.

I’m addicted to sweets. In every form and color. Yes, even the pink ones. Hey, I’m gay! It’s a well-hidden secret though and I’m counting on you keeping it. There’s this little shop near my apartment. A candy shop. They have all kinds of different sweets and I’d love nothing more than to go there with you someday. We could buy tons of marshmallows, chocolate covered strawberries, and candied apples.

The love for sweets is one reason for my rigid workout routine. When I was young, I gained weight fast. Not since puberty, but the fear is still there I guess. The other reason is, I have too much energy. I use sports to keep from bouncing around like a rabbit. Sure, I like the body that comes with it, but looking good is not the main purpose of my workout.

I freely admit to be a bit vain, though. Who doesn’t like to be handsome? However, just as I like you for your wonderful personality, I hope you’ll like me for mine. You’re not shallow. You’d never choose a partner based on outer appearance. That’s something I noticed early and one of the reasons I adore you. It’s up to you if my personality is enough to win your heart, Corey.

Always yours,

Remington

The waffle in his hand forgotten, Corey stared at the letter with his mouth hanging open. Oh, God. Had he understood that right? The letter read like Remy was in love with him but wasn’t ready to admit it yet. Neither to himself, nor to Corey. Well, that was okay. They’d only known each other for five weeks before Corey fucked up. Royally. Expecting declarations of love would be... crazy.

On the other hand, Corey knew he was in love with Remington Yates. But just as Remy was ready to give Corey time to make up his mind about their relationship, Corey would give his lover time to explore his feelings. That couldn’t be easy for a bachelor like Remy. They both had their hang-ups.

After savoring the rest of the waffles and his sweet coffee, Corey fired up his laptop and ordered four pounds of heart-shaped chocolates covered in rainbow-colored white chocolate. He whooped when he found out they delivered over night on payment of a small fee.

With each day that passed, his need to hear Remy’s voice, if only over the phone, grew. Calling him would ruin the romance though. No, he’d wait for the next letter.

Monday morning brought... green. It spread over the floor in front of Corey’s desk and instantly made him grin like a loon. The letter accompanying the gift was once again wonderful.

My dear Corey,

The lucky clover stands for
Be mine.
It’s the perfect symbol for my deepest wish and, I guess, very self-explanatory. I’m offering you my heart and soul and all I want in return is a chance to win your love.

Over the last days, no, since I met you, I’ve been thinking about my life, where it led me. Imagine my surprise when I realized how empty my life is. I don’t want it to be empty anymore though. Instead, I want to fill it with joy and laughter, love and sunshine. I know I can’t demand for you to fill the hole in my life. That wouldn’t be fair and I guess it’s not healthy to build a life solely around one person.

Relationships are partnerships. I’m neither trying to make you dependent on me, nor do I want to make you my only support. Maybe I’m not making much sense right now. What I’m trying to say is, I’d like for us to share our lives with each other.

Today’s plant is for your garden, not the house. You told me you’d rather stay at home and enjoy the quiet instead of going out much. I’d love to take you to a place where you can enjoy the quiet but go out, too. Did you ever go for a hike? In case you’re interested, we could go together.

Stuffy lawyer that I am, I’m not opposed to getting sweaty and dirty while roaming through the woods and crawling over rocks. When the noise and the rush of the city become too much, I spend a weekend away from town and sleep in a tent or even under the stars.

Try to imagine us together after a long day of hiking. We’d sit in front of a crackling fire, curled around each other and wrapped in a warm blanket. I’d whisper tender words into your ear, kiss your neck and nuzzle my nose against the soft spot right behind your ear. The one that makes you shiver. We’d make love right there under the stars and I’d tell you how much you mean to me.

Yours forever,

Remington

Corey smiled. Yes, he wanted to be Remy’s. Yes, he wanted to share his life with the man. The picture Remy drew of their future was wonderful and Corey couldn’t wait for it to begin. He had the feeling there was more Remy needed to say though. More letters the man needed to send before they should see each other again. Patience.

Didn’t mean he had to lean back and be lazy.

After work, Corey visited a little fancy shop and bought a compass for the both of them. He put it in a box with yet another short note.

Dear Remy,

So we’ll never lose our path again.

With deep affection,

Corey

Then he called Remy’s secretary so they could arrange a place and date for the transfer. The woman was worth her weight in gold.

Wednesday brought Corey to the verge of tears again. Oh, who was he trying to kid? He started to blubber after reading the letter’s first words. Embarrassingly enough, Mr. Harding and Rita heard him and lingered outside his office while he read. Nosy bunch.

My dear Corey,

Everlasting love.
That’s the meaning of red tulips. Do you think it’s crazy to confess deep love after such a short time? I think it’s crazy, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

You swept me off my feet. You are like a ray of sunshine. My lovely Corey, with your big heart, caring soul, and more strength than one would expect in a petite package like you.

Aside from my mother and father, I’ve never loved anybody before. You already know how that ended. Maybe that’s the reason I fought against love my whole life. I always connected love with disappointment, with people leaving you and giving up on you although they should love you unconditionally.

Since I met you, my view of love has changed. You, Corey, changed it.

Love is, spending the evening driving home to your lover instead of wasting the time at a company dinner.

Love is, giving joy and happiness to your lover without wanting anything in return.

Love is, spending hours searching through a nursery to find the perfect plant for your lover’s birthday.

Love is, listening to your lover’s worries and fears without judgment, and being able to talk about your own problems with your lover without the fear of rejection.

Love is, the warm feeling that spreads through your whole body whenever you see, smell, or think of your lover.

Love is, when holding someone in your arms becomes more important than having sex.

And so much more.

I love you, Corey. Please know, I’m not expecting you to feel the same for me. It just feels good to admit it, say it aloud, and to let you know, too.

Am I scared? Yes, like hell. Is there a guarantee for us to succeed? No, there’s not. Because life doesn’t come with guaranties. We can only hold onto the good things in our lives. For the luckiest ones, this good thing turns out to be a special someone.

You’re my special someone and I’m going to hold onto you. I hope to be your special someone too, someday.

With love,

Remington

“Will you give him a chance already?” a gruff voice said behind him. Turning and dabbing at his eyes, Corey smiled up at his boss.

“How do you know about this?” Corey asked, his voice all wobbly and teary.

Rolling his eyes, the hefty man huffed. “Who do you think he wrestled into placing those gifts in your office every day? He’s one determined man, that’s for sure. Make sure you don’t let him slip through your fingers.” With that, Mr. Harding turned, and thanks to the man, took Rita with him.

A big grin spread across his face when he once again looked at the tulips on his desk. Remy loved him—really loved him. Corey needed to see him so badly. He wanted to wrap him in his arms, hold him tight and tell him that he loved him, too.

Corey had showered, dressed, and eaten breakfast at nine on Saturday morning. Thursday and Friday had brought more gifts, but no letter. In return, Corey had sent his lover a wonderful, old print of a red tulip he’d found in an antique shop and another note.

Today, though, he’d go and visit the man at home. It was time. He couldn’t wait to see Remy’s face when he knocked on the man’s door. God, he missed him so much!

Stepping out, Corey nearly fell over. On the steps leading up to his house stood a cornflower. Beautifully fragile and softly weeping in the slight breeze. Corey sat beside the pot and snatched the envelope. He hadn’t expected another letter after Remy’s confession of love on Wednesday. What else could the man want to tell him that went beyond love? Surely it wasn’t a proposal.

Unfolding the pages and holding his breath, he read.

My love,

I’ll never give up hope.
That’s the meaning of cornflowers. I think they’ll look lovely in your garden, Corey.