How hard is it to walk away?
"It's like they're
that
close," she held up her thumb and finger a few millimeters apart, "to telling me I have to choose between my family and my lover. And it makes me scared, and it makes me furious. Why shouldn't I have both? Would it be considered too much of a good thing, or what? Leaving aside that it'd be a horrid guilt to lay on poor Mark—he knows how much my family means to me. A family is something he didn't have, growing up, and he romanticizes it, but still."
Her flattened hands beat a frustrated tattoo on the garden tabletop. "It all comes back to the damned money. If I were a
real
adult, I'd have my own income. And I could walk away, and they'd know I could, and they'd have to back off. They think they have me trapped."
"Ah," said Ekaterin faintly. "That one. Yes. That one is very real."
"Mama accused
me
of only doing short-term thinking, but I'm not! The butter bug project—it's like school all over again, short-term deprivation for a really major pay-off down the line. I've studied the analyses Mark did with Tsipis. It's not a get-rich-quick scheme. It's a get-rich-
big
scheme. Da and Mama don't have a clue how big. They imagine I've spent my time with Mark playing around, but I've been working my tail off, and I know
exactly
why. Meanwhile I have over a month's salary tied up in shares in the basement of Vorkosigan House, and
I don't know what's happening over there!
" Her fingers were white where they gripped the table edge, and she had to stop for breath.
"I take it you haven't heard from Dr. Borgos, either?" said Martya cautiously to Ekaterin.
"Why . . . no."
"I felt almost sorry for him. He was trying so hard to please. I hope Miles hasn't really had all his bugs killed."
"Miles never threatened
all
his bugs," Kareen pointed out. "Just the escapees. As for me, I wish Miles
had
strangled him. I'm sorry you made him stop, Ekaterin."
"Me!" Ekaterin's lips twisted with bemusement.
"What, Kareen," scoffed Martya, "just because the man revealed to everybody that you were a practicing heterosexual? You know, you really didn't play that one right, considering all the Betan possibilities. If only you'd spent the last few weeks dropping the right kind of hints, you could have had Mama and Da falling to their knees in thanks that you were only messing around with Mark. Though I do wonder about your taste in men."
What Martya doesn't know about my sampling of Betan possibilities
, Kareen decided firmly,
won't hurt me
. "Or else they really would have locked me in the attic."
Martya waved this away. "Dr. Borgos was terrorized enough. It's really unfair to drop a normal person down in Vorkosigan House with the Chance Brothers and expect him to just cope."
"Chance Brothers?" Ekaterin inquired.
Kareen, who had heard the jibe before, gave it the bare grimace it deserved.
"Um," Martya had the good grace to look embarrassed. "It was a joke that was going around. Ivan passed it on to me." When Ekaterin continued to look blankly at her, she added reluctantly. "You know—Slim and Fat."
"Oh." Ekaterin didn't laugh, though she smiled briefly; she looked as though she was digesting this tidbit, and wasn't sure if she liked the aftertaste.
"You think Enrique is normal?" said Kareen to her sister, wrinkling her nose.
"Well . . . at least he's a change from the sort of Lieutenant Lord Vor-I'm-God's-Gift-to-Women we usually meet in Vorbarr Sultana. He doesn't back you into a corner and gab on endlessly about military history and ordnance. He backs you into a corner and gabs on endlessly about biology, instead. Who knows? He might be good husband material."
"Yeah, if his wife didn't mind dressing up as a butter bug to lure him to bed," said Kareen tartly. She made antennae of her fingers, and wriggled them at Martya.
Martya snickered, but said, "I think he's the sort who needs a managing wife, so he can work fourteen hours a day in his lab."
Kareen snorted. "She'd better seize control immediately. Yeah, Enrique has biotech ideas the way Zap the Cat has kittens, but it's a near-certainty that whatever profit he gets from them, he'll lose."
"Too trusting, do you think? Would people take advantage of him?"
"No, just too absorbed. It would come to the same thing in the end, though."
Ekaterin sighed, a distant look in her eyes. "I wish I could work
four
hours at a stretch without chaos erupting."
"Oh," said Martya, "but you're another. One of those people who pulls amazing things out of their ears, that is." She glanced around the tiny, serene garden. "You're wasted in domestic management. You're definitely R and D."
Ekaterin smiled crookedly. "Are you saying I don't need a husband, I need a wife? Well, at least that's a
slight
change from my sister-in-law's urgings."
"Try Beta Colony," Kareen advised, with a melancholy sigh.
The conversation grounded for a stretch upon this beguiling thought. The muted city street noises echoed over the walls and around the houses, and the slanting sunlight crept off the grass, putting the table into cool pre-evening shade.
"They really are utterly revolting bugs," Martya said after a time. "No one in their right mind will ever buy them."
Kareen hunched at this discouraging non-news. The bugs
did too
work. Bug butter was science's almost-perfect food. There
ought
to be a market for it. People were so prejudiced . . . .
A slight smile turned Martya's lip, and she added, "Though the brown and silver was just perfect. I thought Pym was going to pop."
"If only I'd known what Enrique was up to," mourned Kareen, "I could have stopped him. He'd been babbling on about his surprise, but I didn't pay enough attention—I didn't know he
could
do that to the bugs."
Ekaterin said, "I could have realized it, if I'd given it any thought. I scanned his thesis. The real secret is in the suite of microbes." At Martya's raised eyebrows, she explained, "It's the array of bioengineered microorganisms in the bugs' guts that do the real work of breaking down what the bugs eat and converting it into, well, whatever the designer chooses. Enrique has dozens of ideas for future products beyond food, including a wild application for environmental radiation cleanup that might excite . . . well. Anyway, keeping the microbe ecology balanced—tuned, Enrique calls it—is the most delicate part. The bugs are just self-assembling and self-propelled packaging around the microbe suite. Their shape is semi-arbitrary. Enrique just grabbed the most efficient functional elements from a dozen insect species, with no attention at all to the aesthetics."
"Most likely." Slowly, Kareen sat up. "Ekaterin . . .
you
do aesthetics."
Ekaterin made a throwaway gesture. "In a sense, I guess."
"Yes, you do. Your hair is always right. Your clothes always look better than anyone else's, and I don't think it's that you're spending more money on them."
Ekaterin shook her head in rueful agreement.
"You have what Lady Alys calls
unerring taste
, I think," Kareen continued, with rising energy. "I mean, look at this garden. Mark, Mark does money, and deals. Miles does strategy and tactics, and inveigling people into doing what he wants." Well, maybe not always; Ekaterin's lips tightened at the mention of his name. Kareen hurried on. "I still haven't figured out what I do. You—you do beauty. I really envy that."
Ekaterin looked touched. "Thank you, Kareen. But it really isn't anything that—"
Kareen waved away the self-deprecation. "No, listen, this is important. Do you think you could make a
pretty
butter bug? Or rather, make butter bugs pretty?"
"I'm no geneticist—"
"I don't mean that part. I mean, could you
design
alterations to the bugs so's they don't make people want to lose their lunch when they see one. For Enrique to apply."
Ekaterin sat back. Her brows sank down again, and an absorbed look grew in her eyes. "Well . . . it's obviously possible to change the bugs' colors and add surface designs. That has to be fairly trivial, judging from the speed with which Enrique produced the . . . um . . . Vorkosigan bugs. You'd have to stay away from fundamental structural modifications in the gut and mandibles and so on, but the wings and wing carapaces are already nonfunctional. Presumably they could be altered at will."
"Yes? Go on."
"Colors—you'd want to look for colors found in nature, for biological appeal. Birds, beasts, flowers . . . fire . . ."
"
Can
you think of something?"
"I can think of a dozen ideas, offhand." Her mouth curved up. "It seems too easy. Almost any change would be an improvement."
"Not just any change. Something
glorious
."
"A glorious butter bug." Her lips parted in faint delight, and her eyes glinted with genuine cheer for the first time this visit. "Now,
that's
a challenge."
"Oh, would you, could you?
Will
you? Please? I'm a shareholder, I have as much authority to hire you as Mark or Enrique. Qualitatively, anyway."
"Heavens, Kareen, you don't have to pay me—"
"
Never
," said Kareen with passion, "ever suggest they don't have to pay you. What they pay for, they'll value. What they get for free, they'll take for granted, and then demand as a right. Hold them up for all the market will bear." She hesitated, then added anxiously, "You will take shares, though, won't you? Ma Kosti did, for the product development consultation she did for us."
"I must say, Ma Kosti made the bug butter ice cream work," Martya admitted. "And that bread spread wasn't bad either. It was all the garlic, I think. As long as you didn't think about where the stuff came from."
"So what, have you ever thought about where regular butter and ice cream come from? And meat, and liver sausage, and—"
"I can about guarantee you the beef filet the other night came from a nice, clean vat. Tante Cordelia wouldn't have it any other way at Vorkosigan House."
Kareen gestured this aside, irritably. "How long do you think it would take you, Ekaterin?" she asked.
"I don't know—a day or two, I suppose, for preliminary designs. But surely we'd have to meet with Enrique and Mark."
"I can't go to Vorkosigan House." Kareen slumped. She straightened again. "Could we meet
here
?"
Ekaterin glanced at Martya, and back to Kareen. "I can't be a party to undercutting your parents, or going behind their backs. But this is certainly legitimate business. We could all meet here if you'll get their permission."
"Maybe," said Kareen. "Maybe. If they have another day or so to calm down . . . As a last resort, you could meet with Mark and Enrique alone. But I want to be here, if I can. I know I can sell the idea to them, if only I have a chance." She stuck out her hand to Ekaterin. "Deal?"
Ekaterin, looking amused, rubbed the soil from her hand against the side of her skirt, leaned across the table, and shook on the compact. "Very well."
Martya objected, "You know Da and Mama will stick me with having to tag along, if they think Mark will be here."
"So,
you
can persuade them you're not needed. You're kind of an insult anyway, you know."
Martya stuck out a sisterly tongue at this, but shrugged a certain grudging agreement.
The sound of voices and footsteps wafted from the open kitchen window; Kareen looked up, wondering if Ekaterin's aunt and uncle had returned. And if maybe one of
them
had heard anything from Miles or Tante Cordelia or . . . But to her surprise, ducking out the door after Nikki came Armsman Pym, in full Vorkosigan House uniform, as neat and glittery as though ready for the Count's inspection. Pym was saying, "—I don't know about that, Nikki. But you know you're welcome to come play with my son Arthur at our flat, any time. He was asking after you just last night, in fact."
"Mama, Mama!" Nikki bounced to the garden table. "Look, Pym's here!"
Ekaterin's expression closed as though shutters had fallen across her face. She regarded Pym with extreme wariness. "Hello, Armsman," she said, in a tone of utter neutrality. She glanced across at her son. "Thank you, Nikki. Please go in now."
Nikki departed, with reluctant backward glances. Ekaterin waited.
Pym cleared his throat, smiled diffidently at her, and gave her a sort of half-salute. "Good evening, Madame Vorsoisson. I trust I find you well." His gaze went on to take in the Koudelka sisters; he favored them with a courteous, if curious, nod. "Hello, Miss Martya, Miss Kareen. I . . . this is unexpected." He looked as though he was riffling through revisions to some rehearsed speech.
Kareen wondered frantically if she could pretend that her prohibition from speaking with anyone from the Vorkosigan household was meant to apply only to the immediate family, and not the Armsmen as well. She smiled back with longing at Pym. Maybe
he
could talk to
her
. Her parents hadn't—couldn't—enforce their paranoid rule on anyone else, anyhow. But after his pause Pym only shook his head, and turned his attention back to Ekaterin.
Pym drew a heavy envelope from his tunic. Its thick cream paper was sealed with a stamp bearing the Vorkosigan arms—just like on the back of a butter bug—and addressed in ink in clear, square writing with only the words:
Madame Vorsoisson
. "Ma'am. Lord Vorkosigan directs me to deliver this into your hand. He says to say, he's sorry it took so long. It's on account of the drains, you see. Well,
m'lord
didn't say that, but the accident did delay things all round." He studied her face anxiously for her response to this.
Ekaterin accepted the envelope and stared at it as if it might contain explosives.
Pym stepped back, and gave her a very formal nod. When, after a moment, no one said anything, he gave her another half-salute, and said, "Didn't mean to intrude, ma'am. My apologies. I'll just be on my way now. Thank you." He turned on his heel.
"Pym!" His name, breaking from Kareen's lips, was almost a shriek; Pym jerked, and swung back. "Don't you dare just go off like that! What's
happening
over there?"