Miles Apart (The Not So Bad Boys of Rock Book 2) (9 page)

CHAPTER
TEN

Sebastian~

We wrapped up our show in Paris last night and
woke up in Belgium. The long days are beginning to wear me down. Somewhere
between the endless rehearsals, bus rides, and lack of sleep, my patience is
starting to grow thin. I love the performing, being up on stage is my happy
place. Each stop we make has us performing three nights straight. We’ve been
doing this long enough now to develop a rhythm of sorts. Rehearsals take place
two hours after lunch, we show up two hours before call time to do a quick
sound check, and the day before we kick—off the concert series Dek and I
head out in search of some form of adventure. This week it was his turn to come
up with something outrageous, and I was quite certain he wouldn’t disappoint.

I
was just stepping out of the shower when Travis called.

“Yello.”
I chimed, pulling out a greeting that we’d used all the time when we were
teenagers. I’d been feeling pretty nostalgic of late, especially since my last
conversation with mom.

“Now
there’s a blast from the past,” he chuckled. “What’s on your agenda for today,
little brother? Got some time to spend with me?”

“Always.
What’s up?” I asked, cautiously. Ever since we’d left for the tour he’d been
watching me carefully, as if constantly assessing me. I’m not sure if he was
aware that I knew what he was up to, but he was my brother, and whether he
liked it or not I could read him like a book.

“Not
much, just thought it might be nice to spend some time together. You know, time
off the stage. It’s been awhile since we’ve talked. You doing okay?”

“Mom
put you up to this didn’t she?” I asked, shaking my head even though he
couldn’t see me. I knew they all worried about me. When I’d first met Brooke
they had all been so relieved to see me happy and loving life. Now, with the
constant strain on our relationship and the distance driving a wedge between
us, I believe they’re all worried I may fall back into old habits.

“No,”
he replied, sheepishly. “Can’t a guy just want to have a little brotherly
bonding time?”

“Oh,
is that what they’re calling it now?” I teased. “Yeah, I’ll meet you downstairs
in ten.”

We walked through the
Galeries Royales,
checking out a few stores but mostly just people watching. The French architecture
was a sight to behold, complete with a glass roof and cast-iron fixtures
throughout. Travis stopped in front of Le Marmiton and cocked his head toward
the door.

“You
hungry?” He asked, moving toward the entrance. “I’m starving, and their menu looks
good.”

“I
could go for some mussels.” I shrugged, hot on his heels as the scents wafting
through the air permeated my nostrils and my stomach began to growl.

Once
we were seated, and our food was ordered, I leaned back in my chair and awaited
the inevitable inquisition. After we had stared at one another for an
indeterminable amount of time, I finally cracked.

“Just
ask me already!” I growled.

“What
are you talking about?”

“Come
on Travis, I know why we’re here. I know you are all worried about me. I’ll
tell you just like I’ve told everyone else, I am fine.” I exhaled loudly,
leaning back in my chair.

“I
know you are. If you say you’re fine, then you’re fine. How’s Brooke doing with
all this?” He was giving me the big brother stare, you know, the one that
penetrates right through you and sees everything. I suddenly found myself
feeling very exposed.

“Okay,
I guess. We had a good talk the other night about where we stand. She seems to
feel that I have trust issues with her now.”

“And
how did you handle that accusation?” His voice was calm, and somewhat soothing.

“I
told her the truth, that I do trust her.” His eyebrows raised a notch. “What? I
do trust her, Travis. Just because I am a bit guarded doesn’t mean I don’t
completely trust her. I just have a lot at stake here. I’ve given her
everything. Without her around I am basically a shell of a man. I want her here
with me. I’m tired of being apart. I want to marry her, settle down, maybe
start a family. I want it all.” I raised my eyes to meet his and waited for him
to respond.

“Have
you discussed this dream with her? How does she feel about all of it?”

“I
haven’t actually asked her. The night of my birthday I told her I was planning
to propose. Then when we first talked again, after we’d left for the tour, I
said those words again. But to say that I have actually proposed, then the
answer is no.” I took a deep breath and blew it out my nose.

“What’s
stopping you from asking?” Even as the words left his mouth I knew he already
knew the answer to that question.

“Because
I’m afraid she’ll say no.” I answered, honestly. “She’ll think I’m only asking
her to get her to leave her job in London and be with me.”

“Would
that be true? I mean, I’m sure that would be a bonus but would that be the only
reason you would ask her now?”

“No.”
I stated, emphatically. “Sure, that would be awesome to have her with me
everyday. I won’t lie. I’m going crazy not having her around. I miss holding
her, waking up with her.”

“Falling
asleep with her in your arms after being intimate.” His voice was soft and
shaky, almost as if he knew how I was feeling. Then it suddenly hit me.

“Oh
man, I’m such a selfish asshole. Why do you always allow me to go on like that,
knowing you feel the same way. Man, Trav, you’re going through the same thing.
I’m sure it’s got to be harder on you. You left a wife and a little girl at
home.” I hung my head in shame.

“Nah,
man, it’s okay.” He reached an arm over and squeezed my shoulder. “Nat and I
have done this enough times that we know how to get through the separation. It
doesn’t make it any easier, but she knows that at the end of the day she comes
first. I’d walk away from all of this tomorrow if she asked me to. But I know
Natalie, and she would never do that. Having her know that I would do that gave
her a peace that makes all this possible. There will come a day when I’ll call
it quits. I’m sure of it. Until then, we just take it one day at a time. I call
every night and tell her that I love them both so very much. Sometimes I even
sing Nat to sleep. It’s the only comfort I can offer when I am this far away,
but I do it because she needs it, and frankly I need it too.”

“I
used to sing to Brooke. Now I can’t remember the last time I did. I guess if I
think hard about it I could say it was probably right after we’d moved her from
Ann Arbor.” I smiled, remembering how playful we had been and the pillow fight
she’d had with Jade. That night we’d shared a romantic evening on the beach.

“You
should do it again. Remind her why it is that she loves you so much.” He
winked.

Brooke~

“Have you been online today?” Jade’s voice
bristled. I had just settled in for the night. I’d pulled on my PJ’s and
crawled beneath the warm comforter, pulling my iPad out to do a bit of reading
before falling asleep.

“No,”
I replied, scowling at the urgency in her voice. “Why?”

“I
think you need to see this. Get online and search your man’s name, you’ll know
it when you see it.” I tapped out Sebastian’s name in the search bar and a
barrage of sites popped up, but one in particular instantly caught my eye. I
clicked on the photo and a large image of Sebastian and Dek at a bar with two
young women suddenly appeared on the screen. The caption read, “Paradox singer,
Sebastian Miles, and guitarist, James Dekker, spotted in Interlaken bar with locals.”
Jade remained silent as I kept reading. The brief article went on to question
the current state of Sebastian’s relationship with me, even mentioning me by
name, and hinted that the foursome went on to spend the entire evening
together. There was an old photo of the two of us, taken as we left Nikki’s
wedding. What an amazing night that had been, and it felt like such a long time
ago. I scrolled back up to take another look at the photo. The brunette was
practically sitting in his lap, her breasts resting against his chest, and his
left arm was wrapped around her shoulder. He was smiling, not appearing the
least bit uncomfortable. Certainly not looking like the lonely, love-sick
boyfriend he claimed to be.

“Wow.”
It was the only word I could form at the moment. My body began to feel warm as
anger spread through me.

“Sorry,
I hated to do this but I didn’t want people coming up to you and asking you
about it.” She stated, her voice full of sorrow.

“Maybe
no one will pay it any attention.” I offered, hopefully.

“Sweetie,
it’s called the World Wide Web for a reason. Believe me, people have seen it.”
She sighed, deeply. “The article doesn’t say much about Dek. Did you get a look
at the women they were with? I mean, come on. If they wanted to replace us they
could do so much better.” She offered a small laugh, not fooling me for one
second.

“I
don’t know, maybe Sebastian prefers brunettes, after all Charlotte was a
brunette.” Just then my phone buzzed, alerting me that I had another call. I
checked it quickly, speak of the devil. “Hey Jade, I have to take this call,
it’s Sebastian.”

“Shit.
Call me after you hang up.” She clicked off and I slowly took the other call.

“Babe,
I am so sorry.” Were the first words out of his mouth. I just sat there,
breathing. “Brooke? I know you’re there. Listen, I can explain.”

“I’m
sure you can. It seems we both have a lot of explanations to offer lately. The
truth is, I’m not even sure I want to hear it anymore. I saw the photo, and
read the article. That girl was all over you, and you were enjoying it!” I
huffed.

He
sighed heavily before speaking softly. “That’s not how it was at all. Will you
let me tell you what really happened? The truth.”

“Yes.”
I answered, calmly, no longer wishing to fight.

“Well,
Dek and I had gone skydiving, you know, the trip you and I were supposed to
take. Then we wanted to grab a bite to eat…” He went on to describe how the
evening had actually gone. When he was finished I sat there quietly.

“Do
you believe me?” He whispered.

“I
do.” I felt a tugging on my heart as I recalled standing in front of the
church, at Nikki’s wedding, and watching as Sebastian mouthed those same words
to me during the ceremony. Sebastian was quiet for a few moments, all I heard
was the sound of him breathing. “Sebastian, are you alright?”

“Yeah,
sorry. It’s just, hearing you say those words kind of hit me in the heart. I’ve
spent a lot of time thinking about our future. One day I would love to hear you
say those words to me.”

“You
would?” I smiled, longing to hear him say the words. He had told me a few times
that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, but he’d never actually
proposed.

“Yeah,
definitely.” He answered, his deep voice sounding sexier than ever, and all the
nerve endings in my body began to tingle.

“Well,
I…I’m speechless. I love you.”

“And
I love you. Hey, can I do something for you?”

“Sure.
What is it?”

“Can
I sing you to sleep? You know, for old times sake.” He sounded nervous as he
asked me that question. I smiled at the memory of him singing to me when we’d
first started dating.

“I
would like that very much.” I yawned and then settled back onto the pillow.

“Now
bear with me, this is a new song that I wrote right after you left. It’s not my
usual style of music but I was in a bad place. Be nice, okay.” He chuckled,
softly.

There’s
a picture of you, still hanging on the wall

I
sit home every evening, just hoping you might call.

My
world came closing in on me, the day you said goodbye

I
thought I would get over you, but all I do is cry.

Come
back to me, I’m begging you darlin’

Come
back to me, so I can hold you one more time.

Don’t
leave me hanging, I can’t face the world without you

Come
back to me, I’ll love you right this time.

Ev’ry
day you’re not here, reminds me of all I’ve lost

Do
whatever it takes to win you back, not caring ‘bout the cost.

Give
anything to have you here, and hold you all night long

Fight
like hell to stop the tears, but I’m just not that strong.

Come
back to me, I’m begging you darlin’

Come
back to me, I’ll believe in you this time.

The
bed’s too big without you, don’t leave me alone tonight

Come
back to me, I’ll make everything alright.