Authors: Tracy Cottingham
She would have been listening to him but in the middle of his tirade he started
undressing. He would say a few words and then pull his shirt from his
back, say a few more and off came the pants.
“Are you hearing me?”
“Uh huh, “She nodded her head absently, and he continued. She just
couldn’t believe it, he was standing right in front of her, ranting and raving
about how horrible she was to him, and he just removed his pants and kept right
on going. It occurred to her that he was so angry, he didn’t even realize
he was buck naked. She was about to mention his state of undress, but
decided in the end that maybe it would be best to let him get it all out, get
as angry as he could until there was nothing left to his arguments. Her
only mistake was convincing herself she could control her eyes from consuming
every inch of his exquisite, male physique.
“What do I have to do to be the one that gets your attention, lady?” He
was shaking her when she finally focused in on his angry face.
“Put a towel on and cover yourself for crying out loud. I can’t argue
when you’re standing around like that, let alone listen.” She’d been too
unnerved to think up a good lie.
“What’s the matter, been a long time Cassandra?”
“Yes,” She answered a little too quickly, without thinking. “No!”
She corrected, and moved as far away from him as she could possibly
get. “Look, maybe in some sick way you like hashing out old
arguments about things that should be left in the past while primping around
without your clothes on, but I just don’t work that way.
“Maybe I see things differently than you do,” He reached for a towel and
covered himself.
Cassie couldn’t remember feeling so vulnerable and frustrated. She waited to
see if he would stop hounding her, but when he kept right on going, she waited
for him to turn his back and removed her shirt and bra. It was worth
everything she had to see him choke on his last words. “I’m sorry?”
She put her hand to her ear. “I didn’t catch that last bit.” When
he didn’t say anything she moved towards the door. “Are you finished
now?” She asked, but he just nodded, not really focusing in on her face.
“Thought so,” she felt so smug at having beaten him at his own game. “See ya,”
she flung at him, covering herself with her shirt as she opened the door.
“Wait a minute,” the door slammed shut and she cursed herself for moving so
slow. “Not so fast,” he came up behind her, one hand flat against the
door, the other low, around her waist. “I was just thinking that I’ve
never seen you look at me the way you did earlier.”
She was back to not concentrating again. “What?” She whispered,
honing in on the feel of his mouth, and the low melodious rasp of his voice
against her ear.
“I said I’ve never seen you this way.” He leaned in closer, rubbing his
chest along the hollow of her back. “I was never allowed to see you this
way.”
She clutched at the shirt in her hand as if it held some magical powers to
protect her from her feelings, and tried to remind herself of all the reasons
she shouldn’t let this happen.
“Tell me you want me,” his hands moved slowly around to the front of her
body. “Say it,” his voice waivered and he waited.
“I shouldn’t,” She let the shirt fall to the ground, “but I don’t think I’ve
ever wanted anything more.”
His hands reached upwards to cup her shoulders, and he pressed the full length
of himself against her, rubbing and sliding down along the backs of her legs,
clinging and connecting to the curves of her spine. She shuddered at the
intensity of his loving, like he was afraid she would disappear if he neglected
even one part of her now aching body. He was shaking when he left
her, briefly, turning her around to face him. In his eyes she saw her
reflection, a coveted jewel he waited so long to have, and an exciting treasure
that was finally his for the taking. She was exalted by the sheer depth
of his desire, his pure gift to her. She leaned in closer, wanting to
feel more of him but he held her away, just staring, telling her inch by inch
what he planned to do.
When he moved it was slow, deliberate. He raised both of her arms above
her head, and paused. She was breathing hard, trying to match his
control, trying to calm her fierce need for him, and failing miserably.
She arched towards him, straining to make contact, and was rewarded by the rush
of his lips melding with hers. The pleasure was raw, explosive. He
nipped and licked, and joined his tongue to hers, sparring and tasting every
last recess of her mouth. He released her hands and she wound her arms around
him, draping herself within his embrace, and hanging on for fear she would die
if he left her now.
He left only her lips, at first, tracing a series of slow, shivery kisses down
along the side of her neck and continuing on until he briefly left her completely,
kneeling down in front of her, and clasping her hands with his. He looked
at her breasts and watched, satisfied, as they leapt before him, growing and
swelling under the heat of his gaze. He smiled up at her, and pulled her
towards him. Closer, closer still, till his lips closed around the taught
end of her nipple. Her legs shook and began to buckle, but he held her
steady, reeling in the delicious treat he’d found.
She arched her back, groaning as he nibbled and sucked, tearing a cry for her
lips when he stopped just long enough to wrap her legs around him, and move
them from the door over to the bed. He laid her down and his lips
recaptured hers, more demanding than before, more urgent. She reveled in
the feel of his lips, the weight of his body on hers, and pulled him closer,
burying herself beneath him. His hands trembled as they explored the soft
curves of her body, up along her legs, and then around to the inside.
She jumped when he found her, stroking and gently probing, making sure she was
ready. She opened her eyes and pushed against his finger, shuddering at
the sensations her small movements created.
“I want you now,” she whispered into his mouth, and was
rewarded with the quick and instant freedom of his entry. She welcomed
him into her body as he thrust against her, filling her with powerful
ease. Each time he thrust, she built on it, clutching and releasing
inside, giving herself over to the potent tremors echoing inside her. He
drove into her, and she could feel his body straining, trying to get control
and wait but she lifted her hips higher, taking him in deeper, and cried out
for release. Triumphantly, her body began to spasm almost in unison with
his own, and together they collapsed, delightfully exhausted, against each
other.
Cassie
stiffened at the sound of her hotel room door closing behind her. She had
intended upon slipping in quietly, and un-noticed, but her phenomenal luck was
holding and the door squealed as if it hadn’t been oiled in the last five
years. Of course, she reminded herself, not everyone in this hotel had
been out all night throwing caution to the wind and sleeping with an old high
school friend, who for the past eight years hated her so much he wouldn’t even
come to the phone, much less do the things they had just done.
She tried to tip toe into the bathroom so she could get
herself ready for bed and caught her pinky toe on the edge of the chair by the
door. “Ouch!” She gritted her teeth as she hopped around, turning
just in time to see Lonnie’s head pop up off the pillow.
“Are you all right?”
“No, I’m not all right,” she whispered angrily. “I think I just broke my
stinking toe.” She limped into the bathroom, and made sure the lid was
down on the toilet before using it as her seat.
“That good, huh?” Lonnie followed her in and kicked the mound of towels
they used earlier to clean up Abby’s mess to one side before sitting on the
edge of the bath. “I was hoping if you stayed out this long, you would at
least come back with a smile on your face.”
“Surely you jest,” Cassie leaned forward and laid her head in her lap.
“Shoot me now. I mean it, just shoot me, and get it over with.”
When Lonnie stayed silent, leaning her head forward in question, but not really
asking outright Cassie couldn’t take it any longer.
“All right, I slept with him, are you happy now?”
“Who?”
“The bell boy,” Cassie threw her hands into the air, “Who do you think?”
“Gee, I’m sorry,” Lonnie returned sarcastically, “One minute you tell me Gunnar
hates you still, and you don’t really like the new him all that much either,
and the next I’m supposed to just guess that you fell into bed with him?”
“Well, I decided to take a walk, you know, get some fresh air,” she shook her
head in dismay. “Only next thing I knew I threw him into the pool, and he
came after me before I could get back into the room.”
“Who?”
Cassie eyed her sister threateningly, “You really can’t guess?”
“Okay,” Lonnie threw her hands up in surrender. “You threw Gunnar into
the pool, always my first choice when I’m trying to get a man to talk to me
again, and then you ended up in his bed?”
“Well sort of. He was standing there ranting at me, stark naked I might
add, and I ...got a little distracted.”
“Distracted.”
“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?”
Lonnie burst out laughing, covering her mouth to stifle any echoing, “Immensely
since you asked,” she got out between chuckles. “Oh Cassandra, really, I
never realized being around you after all these years would provide me with
such comic relief.”
Cassie’s eyes narrowed. “The way I see it, it’s all your fault.”
She pointed her finger at Lonnie.
“How do you figure?”
“You’re the one that practically threw me to the wolves when you suggested I go
to that firkin party in the first place, and that’s how this whole thing got
started.”
“If memory serves, I told you to go talk to him, talk to, not screw, him.
I could see how you could get the two things mixed up.”
“Smarty pants.” Cassandra pretended to be annoyed. “You go ahead
and have your fun, but I’m younger than you, and I will live long enough to
heckle you back when your life gets thrown in the can”
“Nice try, changing the subject. Was it worth the wait or not? I
mean, this only took about eight years of you putting it off before finally
giving the poor boy a shot.”
“You are cruel,” Cassie laughed, “and even though it’s none of your business, I
will say it was...” she paused, trying to find the right words. “Oh man,
was it ever worth it.”
“I’ll bet. You were careful though, right?”
The question just hung there in the air, like and old jacket that just hangs in
the closet, never worn. She shook her head slowly from side to side, slid
off the toilet, and landed right next to the towels. “Didn’t I start this
conversation off by telling you to shoot me?”
“Hang on a minute,” Lonnie hopped up and headed for the other room.
“Where are you going?” Cassie was feeling too out of sorts to be all by
herself.
“To get my gun.”
“Mommy, are you awake?”
Cassie felt the hairs of her eyelids being pulled at, but she was too tired to
move. She kind of hoped that if she laid there real still, her daughter
would get bored after a while and go find some other sleeping person to
terrorize. She realized that probably wasn’t going to happen when her
eyes were literally pried open by her daughter’s insistent fingers.
“You up?” Her daughter repeated as she broke into an innocent, wide eyed
smile.
Cassie focused in on Abby’s nose, just inches from her own, and batted at her
hands. “I hate it when you do that.” She rubbed at her eyes and
stretched out. “What? What are you looking at?” She eyed Abby
questioningly and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror above the
dresser. “Oh,” she frowned over at her reflection. “Bad hair day,
for sure.”
She looked back over at Abby who was nodding her head in agreement. “Bad hair
day, for sure,” she parroted. “Mommy?”
“Abby?”
“Are you hungry?”
“Kind of,” Cassie pretended to roll back over and ignore her.
“Mommy?”
“Are you hungry, Abby?”
“Kind of.”
She rolled back over and caught her girl mid-flight, preparing for a sneak attack.
“Okay, okay,” she faked a surrender as Abby landed with a thud, right on top of
her. “We’ll go get some grub right after I go take a shower.” She
wrestled her into the pillows, and gave her a quick hug. “It’s just you
and me today kid, auntie Lonnie went over to see that friend of hers that lives
nearby. She said to tell you she’d be back later to take you to the park
if you like.”
“Cool,” Abby nodded, jumped off the bed and headed for the TV.
“Cool?” Cassie mimicked, and shook her head in confusion. “You’re
only five years old, where do you get this stuff?”
“Auntie Lonnie taught it to me yesterday,” Abby answered before honing in on
the Disney Channel.
“Ah yes, Auntie Lonnie and her big bag of tricks,” Cassie mumbled as she headed
for the shower.
“Abby, is someone out there with you? I’m hearing voices,” Cassie turned
off the shower and hastily covered herself with a towel. “Abby?”
She called again as she walked into the main room.
“She can’t talk,” Abby shouted into the crack in the door. “Her hair is
real bad.”
“Abigail Rose get away from the door.” Cassie cut her off and waited to
hear who it was.
“Don’t worry,” a familiar voice echoed, “I’ve seen her much worse I can assure
you.”
Cassie looked at her daughter, and over to the door. She knew Gunnar was
capable of great love and affection, but she didn’t know how he’d feel about a
child that she conceived with her husband, and she knew in her heart that any
man that couldn’t accept her child, couldn’t ever be a part of her life.
She started to look at herself in the mirror, gave up at the sight of her make
shift turban, and opened the door.
One look at his eyes gave her body a jump start. She caught the faint
smell of aftershave he was wearing last night, and looked with total
appreciation at the combination of a green polo shirt that complimented a pair
of well-tailored, black slacks. He was traditional yet casual, more dressed up
than she was used to, and its effect on her was overwhelming. That’s why,
she reasoned, she was standing there like a complete idiot, just staring as if
she’d never seen a man before. “Come on in,” she said eventually, and
stepped aside.
“You look lovely in that towel,” He grinned when she made a face, and looked
around her to Abby. “Lonnie has a child?” He looked back and forth
between the two, and frowned when Abby started laughing.
“Auntie Lonnie says her hair would turn white and fall out if she had a child.”
Gunnar thought about the comment and looked to Cassie. “So, she-”
“Gunnar, this is my daughter, Abigail.” She cut him off, and prayed he
wouldn’t make a scene in front of Abby.
She watched his eyes narrow slightly, and his jaw tighten, but he didn’t give
off any other signs of open annoyance, so Cassie relaxed a little.
“So you have a little girl,” he mumbled, not really revealing any feelings
about it one way or the other. “What a surprise,” He looked to Cassie as
he approached Abby, finally showing some of the anger lurking beneath a cool
exterior.
Cassie was ready to protect her daughter if she needed to, and she
instinctively moved closer to her as well, in case he was going to mention
something else about Ben.
“My name is Gunnar,” He leaned down and shook her tiny hand, “I’m an old friend
of your mothers.” He looked over at Cassie again and shook his
head. “I’ll be going now,” he said quickly and made to leave.
“Wait,” Cassie caught up with him outside the door, and caught his arm.
He pulled himself away and spun on her. “Yes,” he clenched his jaw.
“Something else you may have left out, like another marriage, or a terminal
illness, or anything of extreme importance that you may have forgot to
mention?”
Cassie searched his face. “Is this really a problem for you?” Her
heart pounded, and she really didn’t want to hear the answer.
“The little girl herself,” he paused, “of course not. Another of your
subtle manipulations? Yes.” He turned around to leave again.
“I didn’t plan any of this,” she started to yell. “What happened last
night was as contrived as the moon itself falling from the sky, but obviously
it was just business as usual for you, so it’s easily tossed aside.” She
went to reach for the door, but he was back beside her instantly.
“Nothing is easy for me where you’re concerned.” His eyes flared at
her. “Why didn’t you tell me? She’s obviously a little more
important than a tiny detail, you have to at least give me that.”
“I didn’t tell you before because you were always too busy slinging insults at
me to get a word in edge wise, and last night was...hardly the right time,
and... that brings us to now.” She was holding it together on the
surface, but his reaction meant everything to her.
“Contrary to your low opinion of me, I do not just hop into bed with everything
that moves. All though I do admit to purposely not seeking out any messy,
long, drawn out involvements. You can make all the excuses you want but
you had plenty of time to tell me about this, and yet you didn’t.”
Whatever Cassie wanted to hear, it certainly wasn’t what she was getting.
“I di-”
“Does Wes know about this?” He interrupted her.
“Yes,” she answered, and watched him nod slowly, as if he was figuring out some
diabolical scheme she had hatched to keep him in the dark. He turned to leave
again, without looking back.
“You’re never going to get over our past are you?” She called out after
him. “No matter how many new experiences we share, your lack of trust
will always negate anything new we have.”
He stopped, but he didn’t turn and he didn’t speak, he just waited for a
moment, and then kept right on going.
Cassie watched his back till he disappeared around the corner, and slumped
against the door. She knew last night wasn’t going to change the world,
or somehow make all of her life sort itself out again, but she was hoping it
would be a start. Hell, she hadn’t even expected a commitment, and was
willing to take it for what it was, a beautiful coming together of two people
who found exactly what they needed in the other person. But when she saw
his face as he looked at Abby, remembered the comments he’d made, and thought
about how quickly he’d used an excuse to bolt, she felt empty. She could pawn
it off in her mind as something else, but when she really let herself admit it,
she knew that last night had meant a tremendous amount to her, and she had
desperately wanted to believe that it had meant as much to him too. She
had been with one man for over eight years, and before that, she had never even
been remotely promiscuous. Her mind and her body just didn’t work so frivolously.
It was sex that they shared last night, but there was so much more history
between them, it didn’t feel like a one night stand. In fact, for her it
felt like the most normal thing in the world. She had already loved him as much
as one person could love another when they were younger, although she hadn’t
realized it till after he was gone, and by then it was too late. She wanted to
move beyond that now, not because he had transformed himself into one of the
most gorgeous men she had ever laid eyes on, although that certainly didn’t
hurt, but because he was Gunnar. She knew all of the joyous and wonderful
things that were inside of him when he opened up to her, and she knew that she
would have been with him a long time ago if he hadn’t run off and had too much
pride to listen to her when she had finally sorted her feelings out. It
was his vehemence, and sudden hatred that had made her give up, and eventually
look elsewhere, otherwise she would have fought harder. Now, it was
obvious that it was just too damn late. There was too much baggage to
ever sort out.
The sound of the cartoons, and Abby’s laughter brought her out of her funk, and
back to the day at hand. She was, after all, standing in the hallway,
wearing a towel and a turban, looking like a lost waif while her five year old
daughter sat inside by herself, waiting for her mother to honor her promise,
and show her the best of all times together at Disneyland. She’s be
dammed if she’d let Gunnar steal that away.
It was one of the nicest days, well Los Angeles days anyway, that Cassie could
remember. High, puffy white marsh mellow clouds lined the sky in various
design, and the wind was blowing just enough to gently cool the rays of
sunlight jumping in and out from behind the cloud formations. She had to
endure a pretty intense fit throwing episode from Abby when she refused to ride
the monorail in like Auntie Lonnie did, and insisted that they walk instead,
but decided if the weather was going to cooperate with her plans so nicely, it
was more than worth it.
“What do you want to go on first, honey?” She was still working hard to
pull Abby out of the stubborn funk she’d acquired after not getting her own
way.
“The tea cups,” Abby pouted.
“The tea cups?” Cassie reasoned that her youngster was not going to make
this any easier. “We just ate, what about something a little slower to
start off with like, it’s a Small World, or something?”
“That’s for babies,” Abby moaned. “You said I could pick.”
Cassie knew from past experience when she’d been licked. “Okay,” she
agreed and headed towards the giant castle, “Tea Cups it is.”
Twenty minutes and an extremely long line later Cassie stood above Abby in the
restroom and watched over her as she lost most of what they’d eaten for
breakfast. “Is it getting any better?” She ventured, knowing that
adults were supposed to be bigger than gloating, but also wanting so
desperately to shout I told you so to the high heavens.
“Yes,” Abby’s voice was a bit unsteady, and her face was still a little
green. She looked up at
Cassie with tears in her eyes, well small pools to be exact,
and threw herself into her mother’s arms.
“Don’t worry, bear, we’ll rest for a while and then find something else to go
on. We have all day you know.” She kept one arm hand around her
daughter, flushed the toilet with the other, and headed back out to re-start
their day.
“Yo ho yo ho, a Pirates life for me...” Cassie sang and actually skipped
with her daughter towards the ice cream shop near the front of Main Street,
reveling in the silliness of the moment. She had forgotten how truly
enchanting Disneyland could be when you forgot about the lines and the other
people, and just enjoyed the atmosphere. Everything was so unique,
specifically designed to be care free if you let yourself enjoy it.
Cassie hadn’t really noticed it before, but there were never any clocks, or
other blatant reminders of the real world around the park. It lent to the
feeling that there was no place else you really had to be and nothing in
particular that had to get done, except the delight in each other’s
company. She wished that her husband could have been there to see their
daughter’s face light up with a hundred different expressions in less than
thirty seconds on the wacky storybook rides, but she scolded herself for being
so selfish, and thinking of something that was bound to depress her on such a
magical day. “What flavor do you want?”
“Um, vanilla,” Abby shouted, holding on to the edge of the counter, and
jumping, hoping to get a look at the different flavors.
“One vanilla and one chocolate chip please.”
“In a cup or a cone?”
“A cone please,” Abby smiled her agreement, and they waited, ready to dive in.
“Sugar cone, dipped cone, sprinkled cone, or regular?” The teen rolled
her eyes at Cassie like she was out of touch.