Midnight Sky (Dark Sky Book 2) (27 page)

“Sawyer, about before. Back in the Crater…”

“When you kissed me?”

I winced at the blatant way he said it, then nodded. “I… I didn’t mean it. Not really. Well, sort of. I don’t know what came over me, but I didn’t want you to give up the
Dauntless
for me. You shouldn’t have.”

He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter now, does it? Ryland’s dead. The
Dauntless
is still mine.”

I frowned. That wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear from this conversation. I looked away, figuring this would be hopeless. It always was with him.

“But if I had to do it again, I would.”

That got my attention. Sawyer had closed distance between us again, now a hairsbreadth away.
 

“The
Dauntless
is my family’s ship. That’s where I learned to be a fighter and a marauder. All my memories of Micah are on that ship. It’s where I feel free. Safe.”

His hand slowly reached out, his fingers trailing down the side of my face.
 

“I wouldn’t be able to go back to my ship if I knew you didn’t have that safety either. You’ve earned it, Firecracker. A thousand times over.” Sawyer’s thumb stopped at my lower lip, ghosting over it. I sighed, melting as he looked at my lips.

“You’ve earned better than me.”

He started to pull his hand away, but I grabbed it. Everything was open now. All the distance and walls he’d built to keep me out were starting to fall away. I didn’t know what was bringing them down now, if it was Riley’s closeness to me, the danger we found ourselves in, being trapped by Ryland, Davin’s appearance, the threat of the Vesper, or all of it combined. It didn’t matter. I wouldn’t let him close himself away from me. Not now. Never again.

“I don’t want better,” I told him.
 

His body went still, but his eyes brightened with longing. I leaned in, thinking I could take my time and keep him in this moment with me. Hold him and kiss him the way I wanted to.
 

I took too long. Before my lips could find his, Sawyer dipped his head. My lips touched his chestnut hair. It wasn’t what I wanted, but I still made the kiss linger. His hand cupped the side of my face, his fingers weaving into my hair and his thumb stroking my cheek. I felt him sigh and watched his eyes close, as if he were in pain.

Or anxious.

“Claire,” he whispered. “You’re tired. You’re not thinking clearly.”

“How do you know?” I breathed, nudging his face, trying to get him to look at me.

He removed his hand and looked at me with tormented eyes. “Because if you were, you’d know this is a bad idea. You’d remember that I have a bad reputation, and even if we beat Davin and the Vesper, it will still be open season on me. And everyone I care about.”

Sawyer had lost people since The Storm. Friends, crewmates, family. His younger brother, Micah, was one of the first victims of The Storm. The only reason I found out about Micah was because Sawyer told me when he was drunk. He never spoke of anyone else he might have lost over the years. If I said that Gemma and Nash were still alive, it wouldn’t convince him of anything. He treated me like glass, and that wasn’t what I needed.
 

“It’s only a bad idea because you want it to be,” I argued, starting to pull back.
 

Sadness sparked in his eyes. “I don’t want you to get hurt because of me. Is that such a bad thing?”

It was a good excuse. He’d been trying to clear his family’s name, restore its honor, for years. He didn’t want to be known as the son and brother of two savages for the rest of his life. He wanted to be better than that. I couldn’t begrudge him for it. But I also knew that he was locking himself up again. I’d seen how he looked at me, felt the way he held me and kissed me.
 

I knew he was scared.

“You’re a terrible liar,” I said.

Sawyer shrank back, staring at me like I’d caught him in the middle of an act he wanted to hide. Then he sighed and turned away. I went back to the control panel, but I couldn’t concentrate. Between my aching heart and the weariness creeping over my mind, my concentration was shot. I knew I shouldn’t sleep, that every second lost was a second I couldn’t waste, but if didn’t keep up my strength, I would be useless.

Finally giving in, I dropped my tools and lay down on my side. The floor was cold and I shivered, tugging my coat as tightly as I could and curling into a ball. I closed my eyes, but didn’t imagine sleep was going to come anytime soon.
 

Soft footsteps approached. Clothing shuffled, and another jacket was draped over my body. I didn’t open my eyes, but I knew the smell that came from the fabric. Cedar and musk. Sawyer.
 

Gentle fingers moved loose strands of hair away from my face. They drifted down my chin and rested on my shoulder.

“I used to be better,” he whispered.

I remained still, though my heart beat like a stampede. I almost gave up pretending. I shifted and started reaching for his hand. By the time I touched my shoulder, his hand was gone. I sighed, but pulled his coat tighter around me.
 

It was another reason to fight tomorrow, another reason to stop the Hellions from destroying the future I wanted, and the life Sawyer deserved.

Chapter 15

Davin came back in the morning, and brought an unwelcome surprise with him.

“Rise and shine, weaklings! Didn’t get an answer from you yesterday, so I thought it would be time to try and change your minds.”

The sharp bark of Hellion-tongue warned us, but the Hellions were already in place.
 

A huge force slammed into the barricade, sending tables and chairs clattering to the floor. The marauders scrambled to their feet, drawing swords, knives, and brass knuckles, and charged the monsters that tried to dig their way in. A spindly Hellion arm stuck through a gap, flailing and slicing the air with its claws. Sawyer was the first one at the barricade. He roared and swung the cutlass down, hacking off half the Hellion’s arm. It screamed and pulled its nearly severed limb back. The Hellions were undeterred. Metal clanged as they tried to rip the barricade down, fury and hunger driving fuelling their madness.

I looked around for something to help with, but there was nothing I could use that I didn’t need for the Palisade. I gave up on the search and ran to help the marauders support the wall.
 

The barricade shuddered as more Hellions slammed into it, knocking over crates. Another arm shot through and slashed at Nash, cutting a line down his bicep. He growled at the pain, but held the barricade up.
 

Davin whistled beyond the wall, and the hammering stopped.

“I heard someone cry,” he taunted. “Guess I better let you lick your wounds. That wasn’t you, was it, brother? I know you’re a coward, always running away, but I thought you could take more than a scratch.”
 

Gemma scowled, and looked like she wanted to rip down the wall and beat Davin to a pulp.
 

“At least I know you’re awake now. You can get back to sulking. Oh, by the way, Abernathy. Your sister’s not feeling too good. She’s fighting her little illness, but I think she’ll want to try drinking something red soon. Probably a human vintage. Just thought you should know. We’ll see how she is tomorrow when the Vesper arrives.”

With that, Davin and his Hellions were gone. I slumped away from the barricade and closed my eyes. Memories of Abby attacking Nash flashed through my mind. An uncontrollable creature taking over my sister, her eyes filled with blood and her fangs seeking flesh. I couldn’t let her become one of them. Not after she’d already suffered at their hands.

“We need to fortify this damn barricade,” Sawyer grumbled. I could have sworn there was a tremor in his voice. “We got this, Claire. You can keep working.”

Meaning I was losing my focus, and needed to get it back. I nodded numbly, drifting away from the barricade to the Palisade. As I stared at the machine, my focus returned. I remembered what I was trying to do. Today I had to test the generator and find a way to amplify the electrical output so the charge for the Palisade could be increased. I had to finish the machine and use it against the Hellions. This was my last chance.

I took the Volt from my pocket and walked behind the Palisade, out of sight from the crew as they muttered to each other and constructed the barricade. On the base of the left tube was a control panel where the wires connected to the main grid. If I could bind the Volt to it from here, I would be able to send a current through it. Theoretically, the current would be boosted and send the charge into the tubes, where it could channel back and forth and continue to grow until I decided to use it.

I was reaching for my screwdriver when Riley appeared at my side and put his hand on my arm. I went still and looked at him. Defeat flashed through his eyes.

“Claire, you need to listen to me.”

I stood there and waited. Riley was often soft-spoken to me, but he’d hardly ever been nervous.
 

“This isn’t going to turn out the way you want it to. I wish with all my heart that it would, but it won’t. The Hellions don’t give up. They bide their time, coming up with new ways to torture you.” Old pain filled his eyes, and he quickly dropped his gaze to his feet. “Every day it was the same, but it was different. They stormed into my cell, literally dragged me through the halls into a dark room, and then they started.”

His breath hitched, like he couldn’t bear to say anymore. I took a breath to tell him not to.

“Some days they beat me. Other days they chained me to the roof and sharpened their claws on my skin. They drank from me. Whipped me. Choked me. But sometimes I wasn’t alone. They would bring in someone else and make me fight him. Or her.”

He started shaking. I didn’t want to hear this.

“Riley–”

“I remember one girl. I never knew her name, but she looked like you. Blonde. Beautiful. Davin was there that day. He dropped a knife in the room with us and said that for every cut we made, one less would be taken from us. If we reached twelve, we would get to eat. But they only had enough food for one of us. I was stronger than she was.”

“Stop, I don’t–”

He grabbed my arms and pushed me against the wall. I let out a soft gasp. Fear unlike anything I’d ever seen filled his face. It sparked through his eyes like a sputtering fire. Right then, he was the same Riley I saved from the furnace room on the
Behemoth
months ago. He was broken again.

“I wanted to make it quick, but I had to get to twelve,” he went on, his gentle voice starting to rise as old fears splintered his mind. “I cut all her major arteries, hoping she would bleed out before I had to finish, but she didn’t stop screaming. Even when I reached twelve, she didn’t stop screaming.”

“Riley, you’re scaring me–”

He pushed closer to me. I could feel his chest pounding against mine. Terror spiked my adrenaline.
 

“I covered her mouth with my hands, trying to make her stop. My hands were covered in blood, and she must have tasted it when she bit me, but she just wouldn’t die. I tried to help her, but she wouldn’t let me, she was so scared...”

He realized how close he’d gotten, that his hands were starting to circle my bruised, bitten throat. Riley took a deep breath and backed away. He blinked and let his emotions settle. I was still rigid with fear. No matter what I tried to do, how hard I tried to breathe, I couldn’t move.
 

“They made me kill an innocent woman, Claire. They made me destroy her, because they knew if I didn’t, if their torture didn’t break me, they could take me back to the Vesper. No one can withstand him, Claire. No one. Anyone that does will wish they were dead.”

Tears built in his eyes.
 

“I can’t go through that again. I can’t let it happen to you. What Davin’s offering… I don’t know how you can avoid it.”

My body felt out of sync. My lungs didn’t seem to work. My heart was beating too quickly. I couldn’t think straight.

“You want me to say yes?”

His shoulders slumped and his face broke my heart. No man had ever looked so desperate.

“I want to save you. We can’t beat them, Claire. You know how strong they are, and if the Vesper wants something from you, you have to give it to him. If you don’t, he’ll rip it from you. He won’t care about who he has to cut through to take it.”
 

Riley took a tentative step toward me. I wanted to run, but my back was to the wall, and my feet had become lead.
 

“I can go with you. I can keep you safe. But this machine, closing the Breach, fighting them,” he shook his head, “it won’t work. It will just be another Storm. And this time he won’t let anyone live. If he wants revenge, he’s going to get it. The lucky ones will be turned to ash. The unlucky ones will be food. Or they’ll be broken like I was.”

Riley’s fear was toxic. It seeped into my mind like poison, and I couldn’t think. I thought about my sister, trapped in the Hellion’s claws. The pain she could endure if I didn’t give myself up. If the Vesper wanted me, wasn’t my sacrifice worth her life? Wasn’t it worth everyone’s?
 

If the Vesper wanted revenge, he could take it out on me. It was my parents that created the Palisade, who opened the Breach and brought on annihilation. I was the scapegoat. The fall girl. Losing one life compared to hundreds was worth giving up. Wasn’t it?

“Claire?”

Sawyer’s voice made me jump. He must have heard part of our conversation from the door, and hurried around the Palisade to see what was going on, only to find Riley pinning me against the wall with a terrified look on my face.

Riley backed away from me, and was quickly replaced by Sawyer. Worry filled his golden eyes when he looked at me, quickly morphing to rage that he turned on Riley.
 

“What the hell did you do?”

The damaged soldier looked away guiltily. “I kind of lost it. Thinking about the Vesper, losing all this time…” He looked earnestly at Sawyer, begging forgiveness. “I’m sorry.”