Midnight Remedy (16 page)

“Eric, this isn’t—”

He pressed up against her back, pulling her closer to him. Though he wasn’t sure why, he knew it was important that he make love to her. Important that she understand he wanted her, and she wanted him.

“This isn’t the answer. We should talk,” she said faintly.

“Turn your head, let me kiss you,” he murmured, his lips resting on her neck. He could feel her heartbeat, see her pulse fluttering frantically, the rise and fall of her chest. Her head turned and he caught her lips, plunged his tongue inside her sweet, willing mouth.

When she tried to speak, he hushed her. “I want you, Piper. Let me make love to you.”

“This won’t solve
 . . .
oh, I
 . . .
shouldn’t,” she whispered, sagging weakly against him, her head falling back against his shoulder.

But she would, he knew, and he slid her dress up.

Piper lay on Eric’s chest,
listening to his steady heartbeat and damned herself as a fool. A fool to imagine that she could give herself to him, be with him, love him and not fall in love with him. Why had it taken nearly losing him to realize it?

What did he feel? Did he care about her so much he was willing to accept her past? A past that brought him far too close to the unhealed wound his wife’s adultery had left him with. Could he accept her past because she did matter to him
 . . .
or because she didn’t?

“Are you upset about what happened?” he murmured.

She rose on her elbow to look at him. “Because we had sex when we should have been talking?”

“Yeah.” His fingers trailed gently over her cheek. “I’m not sure what happened there.”

Neither was she. “Do you trust me?”

“You didn’t know, Angel. The past is over, for both of us. Now is what matters.”

He kissed her, began to make love to her again. Much later, she realized he’d never said that he trusted her.

Eric dragged himself
to the office after releasing Virginia Johnson from the hospital. Normally, he didn’t dread work as he had in Dallas, but today . . . Today he knew he’d spend the day thinking about how he could have saved the Johnson’s baby.

Rubbing his temples, he remembered the long night, heard again Virginia’s cries of pain as labor progressed, saw Randy’s and Virginia’s faces when they’d realized she would lose the baby. At twenty weeks, the baby hadn’t stood a chance. None of the medicines, and he’d given Virginia everything he could, had halted her labor.

It was a mistake to become too emotionally involved with patients. Eric knew it and had done it anyway. Usually he managed to keep a good perspective, but practicing medicine in a small community was a lot different from the impersonal aspects of academic medicine. One of the reasons he’d left the University system and moved to Capistrano was because he wanted to treat people instead of cases. And though the rewards of his new practice were many, the flip side was bad, too. When the other side involved people he considered friends, it only made it that much harder.

There were no answers, but that didn’t stop him from brooding about it. By noon he decided to cancel his lunch with Piper, certain he’d be lousy company. Cole’s bouncing entry took that choice away.

“Hey, Doc!”

Impossible to respond to the kid without a smile, he thought. “Hey, Cole.” They slapped palms. Eric watched him inspect the room, darting from one corner, to the plant stand, to another corner. “Why aren’t you in school today?”

“Teachers hadda do something. Mom said she’d bring me to the L & M for a hamburger.” He smacked his lips in anticipation.

“Where’s your mother?”

“Talking to Effie. Can I ask you something? A flavor.”

“A flavor?”

Cole nodded. “Will you be my dad?”

“Be your dad?” Eric stared at him with his mouth open. Good God, what was he supposed to say? He wasn’t ready for marriage, he wasn’t—

“At school. Just for a day. Grandpa can’t do it, so I’m asking you. Unless you don’t want to.” His lower lip trembled on his last sentence.

Mercifully, Eric’s heart started beating again. A
favor
. For a school function, that’s what he was talking about. “What is it you want me to do, Cole?”

“Next week they’re having ‘What my Daddy Does’ day. We gotta get our dads to tell the class about their jobs. Grandpa says he can’t do it this time. So, um, I know you’re not my dad, but—well could you?”

The kid had the biggest, brownest eyes Eric had ever seen. Absurdly touched, he wasn’t sure how to answer him. “Does your mom know you’re asking me?”

“No.” Vigorously, he shook his head. “It makes her sad when they do daddy things at school and stuff. My daddy was a policeman, an
important
policeman. Bad guys shot him, but don’t talk to Mommy about it, ‘cause she’ll cry.”

“I’ll be glad to talk to your class, but I need to make sure it’s all right with your mother first. She might not like it if I don’t.”

“You’ll spoil it! Please? Do you hafta ask her?”

Something was wrong here. Cole was too anxious, even given the explanation. “Why don’t you want me to tell her? Because she’ll cry or because of something else?”

He hunched a shoulder. “I don’t have a daddy. I made him up ‘cause the other kids
 . . .
” He broke off, suppressing a sob. “Sometimes I play like he was a fireman.”

Careful, Eric, he told himself. Don’t make it worse. “Everybody has a daddy, Cole. Even if you don’t know much about him, you have a dad.” What was Piper thinking, not to tell the child anything? “Have you asked your mom about him?”

“Sorta. She gets this sad look and then I feel bad, so mostly I don’t.”

Mostly he didn’t. Poor kid. “I’ll talk to your mom. Don’t worry, I won’t make her cry, I’ll just ask her about visiting your class. Okay?”

“Great!” Magically, the tears disappeared.

“Eric?” Piper walked in. “Lord, Effie can talk. I see Cole’s been entertaining you.”

This discussion wouldn’t wait, he decided. “Why don’t you go ask Miss Effie to show you her magic tricks, Cole?”

“‘Kay.”

Piper leaned against his desk. “I’ve been to see Virginia. Randy called me this morning and told me what happened.”

Damn, he’d almost managed to forget that problem in the wake of his conversation with Cole. “How is she?”

“Depressed. I felt so useless, trying to comfort her. Nothing I said made any difference, nothing could make things better.”

Eric nodded. “Depression is a normal reaction. Last night she was in too much shock for me to tell. And this morning when I released her, she was trying to be strong, I think for Randy’s sake as much as her own. I wish
 . . .
” He stopped and shook his head. No point going over it.

“Randy said you did everything you could.”

“Yeah. But it wasn’t enough.” His head hurt, he ran his hand across his brow. “They’re taking it hard. You know how much the baby meant to them.”

“They’ll be all right. It’ll just take them some time to adjust. Time to heal.”

“Are you trying to comfort
me
, Piper?” he asked, smiling.

“Is there a law against that? You look upset.” Piper crossed to him and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Not nearly as much as Randy and Virginia,” he said, covering her hand with his.

“But I can’t do much for them. Maybe I can make you feel a little better.”

“Look, it’ll pass. I don’t like it, but I’m used to it.”

“Uh-huh.” She pointed to the journal, opened to an article entitled, ‘Premature Labor.’ “Don’t try to brush it aside. I’ve talked to Randy and Virginia. You might be used to it, but it still bothers you.”

With a shrug, he closed the journal. For some reason her concern, her care made him uncomfortable. “Nobody likes to lose a patient.” Pointedly, he changed the subject. “Cole asked me something a few minutes ago that we need to talk about.”

“What’s he up to now?”

Looking for a father, Eric thought. “He wanted me to talk to his class about my job. For a career day they’re having.”

“Do you mind? Is it a problem?”

“Piper, it’s career day for fathers. He said Charlie couldn’t do it, so he asked me.”

Her face flamed. “Oh, God, I’m sorry. Cole didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that. I’ll just explain it to—”

“That’s not it. I don’t mind. I’m sure some of the other kids will also ask family friends.”

“And I’m sure several of them will have asked their mother’s lover,” she said dryly.

“If you don’t want me to go, just say so. But you need to talk to Cole. Are you aware that he makes up stories about his father? That the other kids tease him about it? He thinks he doesn’t have one because you’ve never told him about him.”

“He
doesn’t
have one,” she stated flatly. “I’ve never told Cole about his father because he’ll never meet him or know him.”

“But surely—”

“Eric,” she interrupted. “I appreciate your interest in Cole, but this is really none of your business. He is
my
son and I’ll do what I think is best for him.”

“It became my business when he talked to me. I can’t ignore what he told me. He needs to know, Piper. Something, at least.”

“How dare you presume to know what’s best for Cole? You’ve only known him a few weeks. I’m his mother.”

“Which is precisely why you’re being so irrational. However much the man hurt you, he’s still Cole’s father. Have you thought about what will happen as the boy gets older? He won’t always leave it alone because it makes you cry. What if someone else tells him something?”

She stared at him, a stricken expression in her eyes. “You don’t understand. You’re trying to help, I know, but you don’t understand. Please, Eric, just leave it alone. Believe me when I tell you that Cole’s not ready to hear the story.”

“What about me? When are you going to tell me what happened?”

“You’re not ready to hear it, either.”