Midnight City (26 page)

“Who did you lose, Holt?” Mira gently asked him again.

Holt sighed and looked away. It had been a long time since he’d talked about this. In fact, he had only ever talked about it with one other person … and that person was very different from Mira. It surprised him when he heard his own voice. “My sister,” he said. “She was leaving to join the Blacksheep. This was years ago, when I was still a kid. The Tone was almost finished with her then, but she thought she could have another year, maybe two, in Chicago, fighting with them.”

No one knew why, but the Tone became weaker the closer you were to one of the base ships. In a ruin like Chicago, where the enormous Presidium towered over everything, survivors could last up to an additional year. It was no accident that the resistance groups there, like the Blacksheep Brigade, comprised primarily kids in their late teens.

As he spoke, Holt felt all the emotions coming back, feelings he’d buried and never dealt with, and to him, they still felt almost brand-new.

“I followed her even though she told me not to. When I caught her, she was furious. But I didn’t care. I just didn’t want to be alone, I didn’t want to go on without her.”

He felt Mira’s gaze on him, but he didn’t return it.

“We were attacked by Assembly inside an old truck stop, and the whole thing crashed down and trapped us inside. I was hurt and she had to scramble to keep me alive, and at the same time, she dug our way out of there all by herself. There was no water, no food either, and when we finally got out, we were so weak, we could barely stand. We were days away from any sort of help.”

As he spoke, he felt his breathing become shallow.

“It was like, once she got us out, all the strength she’d called on to save us was just spent.”

Mira sat silent, listening. “The Tone attacked her, didn’t it?”

Holt nodded. “She was too sick and tired to fight it anymore. Before it took her, with the little strength she had, she told me—” Holt gazed off with a haunted stare. “—she told me…”

Mira remained quiet, watching him, not pressing.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, forcing the memories away. “The only thing that matters is that I watched her mind drain to nothing right in front of me, watched her walk away and never look back, and it was
my fault
it happened. If I hadn’t gone after her, we never would have been in that stupid building, and she would have had another year of still being her.” His eyes were stinging, beginning to water, and he angrily tried to rub them dry, but that only seemed to make it worse. He didn’t want Mira to see him like this.

The only sound was the shaking of the room from outside. When Mira finally spoke, her voice was gentle and delicate. “Holt, look at me,” she said.

Holt kept his stare on the floor. He couldn’t look at her, there was just—

“
Look
at me.” He felt her fingers on his chin gently raise his eyes up to hers, and he didn’t stop her. He knew they were red and full of emotion: he could feel them burning.

“What was her name?” Mira asked.

There was no sense of judgment from her, no horror or pity. There was only tenderness. In spite of everything, Mira really did care. In spite of
everything …

“Emily,” he replied with a cracked voice.

Mira leaned in slowly toward him, and at the closeness of her, Holt felt a wave of relaxing heat wash over him. “Listen to me,” she said, looking into his eyes. “You loved Emily. And she loved you. She was lost no matter what you did—it was just a matter of time. She knew that, I promise you. I know she knew, because I live with the same thought every day. When she dug a way out of that truck stop, she wasn’t saving herself … she was saving
you.
You were Heedless, she knew you could live a long life, and it made her happy to think that. She sacrificed the little bit of time she had left to get you out of there so you could
live.
That’s as big a gesture as someone can make in this world.”

He tried to look away, but she stopped him, raised his chin back up, kept his eyes on hers.

“You have nothing to feel guilty about,” Mira said firmly. “And it’s not just me telling you that … it’s
her,
too. I can speak for her if anyone can.”

They were just words, but they shook Holt deeply. They were words that no one had ever said to him, and it was surprising how much relief he felt at hearing them.

Holt took Mira’s hand, felt her fingers wind through his. The scent of her filled him. He stared into her green eyes floating behind those black tendrils. Slowly, instinctively, magnetically almost … they leaned in toward each other.…

“Are you two finally going to kiss?” Zoey asked from the doorway to their room, and Holt and Mira stopped short inches from each other. Max was next to the little girl, tongue hanging out of his mouth.

Holt sighed, reluctantly pulled away. Mira smiled up at him and shrugged.

“Captain Dresden wanted me to tell you we’re here,” Zoey said.

“Already?” Mira asked. “He made good time.”

“Captain Dresden says there’s no Landship faster than the
Wind Shear,
” Zoey replied excitedly. “He said he’s outrun whole swarms of those scary metal things in the sky.”

Holt frowned. “I get the impression Dresden says a lot of things.”

Mira smiled and gently patted Holt’s face. “Come on, killer,” she said as she got to her feet. “All hands on deck.” Holt watched her and Zoey exit the room and disappear down the hall on the other side of the door. Max barked excitedly and dashed in the same direction.

“Oh, sure, yeah,” he called sarcastically after them. “I’ll just limp my way up to the top, then. I’m sure I can make it on my own.”

“You only got grazed!” he heard Mira shout from the hall. “Hurry up.”

Holt could already hear the sounds of the crowd outside the ship, and try as he might, he couldn’t muster the same enthusiasm as the others. Midnight City was an unpredictable place in the best of times, and dangerous in most others. At least he wouldn’t be staying long.

But that was just it, wasn’t it? Leaving, as necessary as it was … meant leaving Mira and Zoey.

How had he let it happen? Somehow he’d gotten right back in the same spot where he started. A place he’d put up walls to prevent himself from ever going again.

Survival was everything. It’s what he believed, it’s what he was taught, and the world had shown him it was true over and over again. How could he let this
happen
? It wasn’t for lack of trying: He’d kept his distance from Mira and Zoey at first, but in spite of that, something about them refused to be ignored.

Holt shook his head. The way he saw it, he had two choices.

Leave them here at Midnight City and let Mira and Zoey face the dangers alone. It was Mira’s agenda, after all, not his. Survival dictated he head east, toward the Low Marshes. The Menagerie was still looking for him, and the longer he stayed in any one place, the less safe it became. And, most important, if he left, he wouldn’t have to watch it all happen again. He wouldn’t have to watch someone he cared about Succumb to the Tone right in front of him.

Or …

He could stay. He could risk the pain and the loss, and try to find a way to make sure it
didn’t
happen again. He could find a way to save Mira. And with Zoey, if what had happened in the trading post was real … maybe he actually
could
do it. The thought filled him with strange emotions, scary ones. Ones that felt almost like … hope.

Holt sat on the bed a long time, thinking, listening to the sounds of the churning masses outside float in through the small window.

All he knew was, either way, he couldn’t go through all that again.…

29.
THE WINDS

MIRA EMERGED FROM THE LOWER DECKS
of the
Wind Shear
into the bright morning sun with Zoey and Max.

From the ground, she could tell the ship was made of a whole host of different parts, but up close, Mira saw it all in a new light. The pieces—train, automobile, parts of buildings or boats, the airplane wings for masts—it hadn’t just been haphazardly stuck together in the shape of a giant vessel. Instead, it was meticulously constructed and melded together, and the individual components gleamed in the sunlight, their rough edges polished smooth. There wasn’t a hint of rust anywhere, and each piece had been shaped to flow effortlessly, one to the next, all held together by crafted wood. Pieces from old floors or boat decks or giant ceiling rafters—even a section from an old basketball court—all of it buffed and lacquered to a brilliant shine that sparkled in dozens of different colors and hues.

The
Wind Shear
wasn’t just this crew’s transportation; she was also their home, and you could tell by how beautifully maintained the ship was. And to think, in the Barren, there were a hundred of these ships, each one as unique as the
Wind Shear
in its own way.

Something about that made the world seem less small, Mira thought.

She watched the crew—about two dozen, Mira guessed—moving over the ship and preparing her to dock. Pulling the sails, stowing equipment, unhinging lengths of rope to tie off.

“Mira, come on!” Zoey shouted as she and Max ran past her. Mira smiled and moved to the edge of the ship’s deck with them. Below was what once was a giant dam that marshaled the Missouri River, huge walls of concrete plunging over a steep drop several hundred feet below to where a diminished version of the river continued to wind southward through a huge floodplain.

It had once been called Fort Bennett Dam, but now it was the exterior of North America’s largest permanent population center, a place infamously known as Midnight City.

The real “city” lay deep underground, Mira knew, in the natural cavern system behind the structure, but she stared at it with a far-off, haunted look nonetheless. It was strange, looking at a place you used to call home, a place you used to feel safe in, and knowing that it was now hostile to you, that not only did it not want you anymore, but it would also hurt you if it got the chance. Seeing the city again was both exciting and sad.

Mira felt another twinge of sadness as she realized what else the city represented. The possibility of another good-bye. Surely Holt wouldn’t stay now that they had reached Midnight City, not with a price on his head. He’d said his plan was to head toward the Low Marshes, to try to outdistance his problems. That possibility, inevitable though it was, left a hollow feeling in her stomach. Mira didn’t like the way it felt.

“You okay?” Holt asked beside her. He’d followed them up, had his gear slung over his back. She looked at him softly, something passing between them. And then she nodded and touched his arm.

“Wow!” Zoey exclaimed, taking Mira’s hand. The little girl was staring at the port outside the ship with amazement.

Mira smiled down at her. “This is nothing—wait till we get into the city.”

“What’s it like?” Zoey asked.

“It’s … beautiful, actually. Dark and bright at the same time. Full of energy, more people than you’ve ever seen in one place. It’s not like anywhere else you’ll ever go.”

Zoey gazed out over the port below them.

Midnight City actually had two ports, one at the top where the
Wind Shear
was docked called Upper Berth, and one far below, where the Missouri River came out of the dam and continued south, called Lower Berth.

Lower Berth was for River Rat crews who brought their ships up from the south for trade. Mira looked over the edge of the dam, all the way down to where dozens of river boats and barges were docked far below. The crews and kids moving down there looked like ants from this far up.

Upper Berth was the land entrance to Midnight City, and traders moving on foot, as well as the occasional caravan or Landship from the Barren, docked and entered the city here. There were two other Landships tied off next to the
Wind Shear,
both a similar mix of different parts and pieces, all meticulously and artfully put together, and the crews of all three vessels had spun lines of cable between them, so that cargo or messages or even people could pass easily to and from them.

On the ground, hundreds of survivors moved between the ships and Midnight City’s main entrance, a huge opening in the concrete structure at the far side of the port that probably once allowed vehicles down into the dam’s interior.

“Would it be a waste of time to try to convince you to stay on?” a voice asked from behind. Mira turned and saw Dresden studying her. “It’s a long road west, and your expertise would come in handy. Not to mention … you bring a definite beauty and charm to the ship.”

Mira blushed, even as she noticed Holt’s glare. The Captain was certainly cute, and he had a way with words, but he was also more kinds of trouble than she could probably name. “I’m sad to say the answer’s still no. But you have a nice way of reasking the same question, Captain.” Mira saw Holt roll his eyes and pretend to focus on the port below.

“I see your friend found his legs,” Dresden said, looking at Holt. “That’s good. When you fell, I thought you were a goner. Hell, for a second, I thought we all were. Way those things chased after us … you’d think they were interested in you three personally.” Dresden smiled pleasantly, but it wasn’t completely disarming. He had his suspicions, it was clear.

“They were probably just trying to take out the depot,” Holt offered. “Tempting target.”

“Three different Assembly groups?” Dresden mused doubtfully. “I’ve never seen red or green ones before, and they just show up and start fighting each other? No. Something was wrong there, and whatever it was, I’ll be glad to put distance between it and myself. We’re full sail to the west tomorrow morning. Gangplank’s down, we’re tied off, you can disembark whenever you want.” Dresden reached out and took Mira’s hand. He lifted it to his lips and kissed it gently. “I feel we are destined to meet again, you and I.”

Holt had apparently had enough. “I doubt we’ll be visiting the Barren anytime soon.” He took Mira’s hand from Dresden and started moving toward the gangplank to the port. Mira almost smiled. It surprised her how much she enjoyed seeing Holt jealous.