Mid-Life Crisis Diaries (6 page)

“It sure does, like a bitch. I’m hoping she’ll get whatever she needs to out of her system and settle back down and we can reconnect. Maybe she’s having some sort of mid-life crisis or something, herself. Like your husband.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Marsha said. “Can I ask you a girl question?”

Andre laughed and shook his head enthusiastically. “Please do!”

“Why are you not pouting?”

He thought about it for a moment and walked slowly toward a bench near a rock wall. A small café was settled on the level above it and they could hear the busy noise of the patrons eating. “I’m not sure, really. I guess it just doesn’t suit me.”

Marsha frowned. Maybe it was just a girl thing.

“No, no, please don’t misunderstand me. I was completely broken by it. It rocked my whole world. And I don’t pretend that I was some poor fool who couldn’t make ends meet because my spouse left. That’s a very real thing that I’m sure you’ve seen play out a dozen times.” Marsha nodded without speaking as she took a seat next to him on the bench and laid her shoes in the sand. “I mean, it didn’t break me, financially. I do quite nicely on my own. I have my real estate, but I also work online and do very well there, too. That’s actually how I met Dr. Lee.”

Marsha tried not to act too interested in hearing him talk about Dr. Lee, the woman who once was her dear friend in college, and eventually turned into a sort of arch nemesis of hers in the working world as adults. But she was, in fact, eager to learn more about how Dr. Lee had expanded her love-teaching business all across the world.

“Dr. Lee has a really great web presence. There aren’t many people who do what she does, and she’s one of the best at it. She’s got YouTube videos and online courses that can help you with your relationship no matter where you work or live. For me, I needed a therapist to help me understand what was going on in my life, and I needed to able to meet with them online instead of going in to an office somewhere. You’d be surprised how few resources there are for online love therapy. And she made it easy for me to get a hold of her. From that point on, after watching a few of her videos and getting a good feel about her personality through Skype chats, I knew she would be able to help me. She’s kind of a free spirit, like myself, and I figured she would do well to show me what I was missing.”

“And has she?” Marsha asked, one eyebrow raised.

“Well,” Andre chuckled and rested his ankle on his knee. Marsha watched sand fall off his beautiful foot and onto the ground. “Here we are.”

C H A P T E R  9

M
arsha awoke the next morning to the smell of Mexico, which after less than a week, was already growing on her. The whole place just smelled like vacation, and she never wanted to leave. Her first thoughts of the morning were of Andre’s face as they said goodnight the night before. He drove her to her condo and walked her up to the door, both of them barefoot. Without a word, he took her hand and kissed the back of it gently. The act was not sexual in any way, nor did it excite Marsha. It was just a beautiful gesture from one soul to another. She felt a deep respect for Andre, knowing that he, too, was on his own journey to discover how to get back what he lost. It made her sad to think of him unhappy, because she truly considered him a friend.

She lay there, with the morning rays of sun peering through the thick curtains and dancing across the bed, and thought of how odd it was that she’d made a friend so easily and quickly. It wasn’t like her at all, and she had tried for twenty minutes to think of one person back home that she would really consider a friend in this way. Someone she could open up and share her feelings of disappointment with that wouldn’t judge her. She was, after all, a
Love Guru.
And the fact that everyone back home knew it just turned her stomach. She was so embarrassed. But here, everything was beautiful and open and bright and smelled wonderful. She wasn’t being judged by anyone for
getting it wrong,
and she wondered if a month would really be long enough to heal her.

Marsha climbed slowly out of bed, and looked around the condo for something to eat. There were two pineapples in the fridge, a treat that she had only just noticed, as she had barely taken the time to explore the beautiful condo Dr. Lee had arranged for her. She pulled one of them out and found the largest knife the kitchen had to offer.

When she pulled the cutting board down from where it was standing, she noticed a small iPod with a sticky note attached to it that read
Play me
. She grinned at the thought of someone else looking out for her happiness, and crumpled up the note before pressing the play button and wrapping her hand firmly around the knife handle. Smooth dancing tunes wafted through the air as she grunted her way through slicing up the fresh fruit. Its smell was so sweet, and the juice spilled everywhere, and Marsha couldn’t have been happier. She swayed her hips as she cut, placing every fourth piece or so directly into her mouth. It was the sweetest thing she had ever tasted, and she had the whole thing to herself.

Once it was completely cut and in the largest bowl she could find, she spooned a few heaps of it onto a plate and covered the rest before sliding it back into the refrigerator. When she opened the silverware drawer, there was another sticky note. This time it read
Whatever you eat, do it naked.

Marsha closed the drawer and felt her ears grow hot. “You can’t possibly be serious,” she said aloud. But all she could hear was Dr. Lee whispering
But you know I am!
in a sassy voice in her head. Two minutes passed with Marsha standing in the kitchen, holding the drawer handle and shaking her head. She had been planning to enjoy her breakfast out on the back patio of the condo. It wasn’t something she could picture doing in the nude. Perhaps she could run a bath and eat it in there? But she didn’t want a bath, she wanted to be outdoors.

She thought for a minute of Dr. Lee when they had met in Chinatown; she was completely naked and in front of a bunch of strangers. With a man touching her and making her giggle, no less! If she really wanted to make the most of her trip, then maybe following the rules perfectly would help her do it. And one of the rules was to not think about the rules. There was no one there to tell her that she couldn’t eat, naked, on her own patio. There was really no way anyone would be able to see her back there unless they really tried, anyway. And as if on cue, she remembered what some of the ladies were wearing on the beach the day before. It wasn’t much more than being naked, anyway.

Reluctantly, she began unbuttoning her pajama top and let it fall on the floor. Then she wiggled out of her pants, and slid down her underwear. She smiled wryly, thinking about what look would be on Dr. Lee’s face when she got back home and told her that she actually did it.
You’re not getting all of me, world. Not yet.

Marsha walked over to her suitcase and found her prettiest pair of panties and put them on.
This will have to be close enough.

She walked toward the large glass doors that led to the back patio, and she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. She stopped for a moment to take it in. For being in her forties, she really was something to look at with no clothes on. Blake would have a fit if he saw her walking around anyplace but the walk-in shower without her top on.

No, no. No Blake. This morning is about me.

Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she opened the back door and walked outside, with nothing on but a pair of pretty underwear and a giant plate of pineapple. The soft rattan chair felt good on her legs, but wasn’t surprising to sit on. Though she didn’t know why it would be, it was basically like sitting down in a bathing suit bottom. The pieces of chair stuck to her leg exactly the way she expected them to. The sun was already warming the air, and when she leaned back into her chair and rested the plate of fruit on the table beside her, its warmth felt amazing on her bare chest. She’d never felt anything like it, it was amazing. The sensation was like a warm hug, and a gentle nod from the universe that she was, in fact,
present
.

It felt so good, that all of her fears of being naked were washed away. There was no way anyone would see her unless they were strolling along the beach. And even then, the little wall that separated where she sat from the rest of the property was sure to discourage staring. Relaxed, and enjoying the sun on her bare body, she raised her feet into the air and rested them on the chair in front of her. Marsha sat for twenty minutes enjoying her breakfast before rising, sun-soaked and in the best mood she’d been in a long time, to start her day.

C H A P T E R  10

W
hen she finally got around to check her cell phone, she had a text from Dr. Lee reading
I hope you are enjoying yourself, and have at least tried the pineapple ;).
Marsha laughed and rinsed the dishes off in the sink, still topless. She messaged her new love doctor back, stating simply that
It was delicious.
She’d also missed a text from an unknown number with a strange area code. It was Andre, letting her know that Dr. Lee had given him her cell phone number, and that he hoped it was okay to use it. Marsha grinned at the thought of him texting her, and felt a little naughty thanks to it, as well. Something she hadn’t felt in a long time. A hot guy was texting her, after all….it felt like dating, though she knew it wasn’t. It was just two hearts taking solace in each other.

The last of the message said that he wanted to take her to the market sometime today, if she would be so kind as to join him. How did he talk like that? Where did he learn that? She had a tiny fantasy while she rummaged through her suitcase for an outfit, she imagined herself meeting Andre’s parents and learning more about what kind of people could raise someone so confident, kind, and polite. And also delicate. He was really hurt by Layla’s leaving, and it made Marsha angry at whoever could cause that poor boy pain.

Boy,
she giggled to herself.
He’s not a boy, Marsha. Boys don’t dress like that and talk like that.

It was warm already, and Marsha let her head fall to the side as she rubbed one side of her neck with her eyes closed, standing quietly for a moment and allowing herself to get lost in Andre’s eyes. The image had been burned into her memory, as well as his gorgeous smile. His teeth were so perfect and white and when he smiled, it literally lit up the whole room. She was certain it wasn’t just her, everyone else had to feel it, too. Surely.

She texted him back saying that she’d be ready in half an hour, and he responded saying to wear something comfortable. Nothing too fancy, as they’d likely spend most of the day out and about if that was okay with her. Deciding that a shower would be a good idea before heading out for the day, Marsha gathered a lightweight blouse and a pair of shorts and headed to the bathroom. She was considering wearing the blouse with no bra underneath, as she had seen Dr. Lee do.

When she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she laid her clothes down on the counter and turned on the faucet, she smiled again. Her collarbones had some color on them and her whole body from the shoulders up had a light layer of sweat on it. Even with no makeup on this morning and her messy hair, she felt more beautiful than she had in ages. She slipped off her panties and climbed into the shower.

A mere five minutes later, she emerged fresh enough to tackle a day in Mexico. After trying on the blouse with no bra underneath, she realized she wasn’t quite ready to go out on the town with her nipples poking through her shirt. The blouse was so sheer that you could actually see the coloring, and while she may be confident enough to sunbathe naked on the back patio, she didn’t want Andre knowing all of her secrets just yet. Some things were best kept to herself, she thought, as she found a bra.

Amazingly, she skipped the addition of a camisole underneath and just put a bra on, and slid the blouse on over it. The bra was easily visible under it but she’d chosen her prettiest one. She didn’t even realize, when she’d chosen the bra, that this would ever been an option for it. It did, however, look fantastic and carefree. And even though this was a bit risqué for her, she imagined that Dr. Lee would probably wear something like this to a formal gala. The thought made her laugh as she ran her fingers through her hair. Thinking perhaps that it would be okay to just go out with it wet, and might even feel good under the warm Puerto Vallarta sun, she ran some gel through it and shook it out upside down, fluffing it with her fingers. A bit of blush on her cheeks and some lip balm finished off the look, and when she took in her whole appearance in the bathroom mirror, she began to cry.

After all this time, she had no idea that she could ever look like this. Even when she was in her twenties, she didn’t feel this good. That was probably partially due to the fact that when you’re young, you really don’t know how good you have it, body-wise. You just take for granted that everything will stay where it’s supposed to and that your skin looks fantastic. After only a few days in the sun, she was already starting to look like she’d been on vacation. She smoothed some suntan lotion all over her exposed skin and hoped it would at least last until lunchtime before she sweated it off. The lack of makeup would surely help with that.

Not much longer, Andre came knocking on the door of the condo. He handed Marsha a bottle of water and looked down at her feet, where she had put on the pair of sandals she’d worn to the beach the night before. “Do you have any tennis shoes with you?” he asked, lowering his sunglasses. “Just in case?”

She nodded and retreated back into her living space to grab her shoes.

“Just bring them with you, you may need them and you may not. I’m not sure if you’re used to walking, these are just in case your feet start to get tired after the first few hours.”

As she walked past him out the door, he flipped the lock to the condo with one hand, and placed the other on the small of her back as she walked past him. The weight of his hand on her back through her super thin shirt made the pit of her belly feel warm, and she smiled. She knew he didn’t mean anything by it, but it felt nice, just the same.

And Marsha decided that once she returned to San Francisco in a few weeks, she would look for a set of friends who would provide her with this feeling regularly. Everyone needed that sort of non-sexual touch in their lives. People who were married, or
successfully married
, should be able to get that from each other. A light hand on the small of your wife’s back, a gentle hand on your lover’s arm as you stroll on the beach, all these are things that everyone should have in their lives at least every few days.

And since Marsha didn’t know if Blake was going to pull his head out of his ass in the foreseeable future, she decided to take matters into her own hands and make plans to develop these kinds of friendships. Even a group of girls who could sit around and gab with each other for hours would be better than nothing. After all, she had spent all of her free time with Blake, for years. They would sometimes go out to lunch or dinner with people, but that was usually for business or networking and not really to build a friendship.

“You look beautiful,” Andre said softly as they walked down the path to his car, his hand still on her back.

“Thank you,” she answered. “I actually feel beautiful.”

“That’s a first for you, eh? You don’t look nearly as stuffy as you did when we first met. And I think you should know by now that I don’t mean that as an insult. Only as a compliment to the work you’ve done on yourself in the last three days. You seem to be a lot more comfortable with yourself.”

“I am, yes. A very solid observation.” Marsha smiled.

“I’m okay at reading people.” Andre grinned. “Maybe I’ll have a future as a
Love Guru
.”

Marsha laughed as he held the car door open for her and closed it behind her. She thought for a moment, but only because it seemed like a healthy fantasy, about Andre joining her back in San Francisco and working with her full time. She watched him circle the front of the car, slipping his glasses over his gorgeous eyes and checking traffic as if it were the most natural thing in the world to be that beautiful. She imagined him waking up with her every morning and having pineapple on the back porch. By the time he slid into the driver’s seat, she had mostly successfully wiped the silly grin from her face and had her eyes focused forward.

“Where to, my lady?”

“You’re the boss. Follow you anywhere.” Marsha slid her own sunglasses down out of her hair and enjoyed a lovely ride to the main market.

“We’re going to hit
Pueblo Viejo,
first. Get an idea of what you want to stock your pantry with. Then we can grab some lunch and maybe hit the municipal market.”

Marsha turned her nose up and Andre shot her an inquisitive look in response. “No?” he asked.

“Well, municipal doesn’t really have that sexy of a ring to it. But I guess everything in Mexico can’t be sexy.”

Andre laughed, “You’ll love it, I promise. It’s sexy.”

Pueblo Viejo market, which was an old town artisan market, was one of the most interesting things Marsha had ever seen. She wasn’t sure if it was actually more intriguing than any place that she’d visited with Blake on vacation, or if it was just that she was taking it all in only for herself this time. It shocked her how interesting a place like a market could be, and she couldn’t remember ever having seen anything like it before. Andre told her that it was only a few blocks from the municipal market, so whenever she tired of this one, they could head to the next one.

Even after thirty minutes, though, Marsha had only been in one shop. There were so many things to look at that she was afraid if she left the one shop, she’d surely miss something. The childlike part of her wanted to purchase every single tiny trinket in the shop, with its traditional Mexican colors and happy spirit. Each piece brought her joy as she picked them up and handled them, then replaced them.

“If you start buying them all now, we won’t have anything else to look at.”Andre crooned in her ear, nestling her elbow in the palm of his hand. He rubbed it gently and waited for her to put the little figurine she held in her hand back on the shelf.

“But we’ve been in here so long,” she said, wrapping her fingers around his bicep unconsciously. She felt like a school girl who’d be caught for stealing. “Won’t they be upset if we don’t buy anything?”

Andre laughed and put his hand over hers, which was clutching his arm. Only then did she realize where it was. She blushed a little, and he could tell that the small act made her uncomfortable. In response, assuring her that there was no harm in a simple touch, he took her hand in his and ran it down the length of his own arm. When it reached his hand, he wrapped their fingertips together and swung them between their torsos. The sweet gesture made Marsha smile and her shoulders relaxed. She squeezed his hand as a way of saying thank you, and he squeezed hers in return, giving her a wink with his perfect eyes.

They were just two adults, sharing a moment together, and Marsha grew more comfortable sharing a bit of herself with him. In the hours that followed, she barely thought of Blake at all. And when she did, it was more along the lines of seeing something that she thought he might like. In her mind, at least for the afternoon, she was able to categorize him as a friend that she knew, rather than her husband who had just left her. It made the pain more manageable, to be able to separate it like that. As did having an understanding partner on her arm. Maybe Puerto Vallarta
was
a good idea, after all.