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"She's… ignorant," Jake said. He sighed and added, "And a mean old bitch."

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"You going to make me apologize?" Jacob asked dully.

"I probably should, but no. I told her to get out."

Jacob looked up at him, his eyes damp with angry tears. "She said she was going to take me!"

"Not going to happen," Jake said with every ounce of conviction he had.

"She said that Aunt Cath would need help raising me and she was going to take me. That she was

sure Uncle James would help, too. I said I was going where my mom wanted, and that you and Tor

would do fine by me. She said--" He stopped suddenly and threw himself back on the bed.

"I can imagine." Jake walked to him and sank down on his heels, kneeling by the bed. "Forget her, Jacob," he pleaded. He wanted to ask about Jacob and Arkansas, and if that meant he was willing to come with him and Tor, but he didn't know if that would add to the stress or not. He left it alone

and reached out, put his hand on Jacob's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "I won't let her say any-

thing more to you."

Jacob nodded and closed his eyes tight, sniffling a little bit. He was trembling under Jake's hand,

obviously trying to keep himself together; anger and hurt radiated from him and he opened his

eyes, looking up at the ceiling.

"Can I have a horse?" he asked, tears starting to flow, running down the side of his face and into his ear.

"After you learn to take care of one," Jake said, his voice suddenly tight. The weight on his chest was back.

"Okay." Jacob shook and Jake moved to the bed, gathering the boy up in his arms, his own tears forcing their way out again. "God, I miss her," Jacob gasped, sobs wracking him.

"I know." Jake held on, let Jacob cry in his arms until they were both shaking with it. His face was wet, his own tears going almost unnoticed as Jacob finally let go and cried for his mother, and for

himself.

It was a start, and an end, and Jake hoped he had the strength to carry them both through to the

other side.

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Natural Disaster

The Dark

There wasn't any light in the room when Jake woke up, just a lighter shade of black around the

window to let him know that night had fallen. He was stiff and sore, his eyes gritty in the aftermath

of his sorrow, and his arm was asleep where Jacob lay across it. It took a moment for Jake to figure

out what had woken him up, other than the discomfort of sleeping with his body curled protectively

around Jacob's.

A sound from the hallway came, a soft murmur of voices and quiet steps which reminded him of

the guests in 'Lissa's home. Most would be long gone, even those who hadn't fled in the wake of the

scene with Jess, and Jake assumed that only Tor and Cath and a very few others still remained.

Carefully, slowly, he untangled himself from Jacob and pulled a blanket over his nephew's sleeping

body, ignoring the way the nerves in his arm zinged as circulation was restored. Numb to the point

of calmness, he kissed Jacob's forehead and made his way to the door, braced for the light in the

rest of the house after the dark of the room.

Squinting, he shut Jacob's door behind him and turned to the living room, only to bump right into

Tor. "Hey," he said softly, automatically, wrapping his arms around Tor and leaning into his body, soaking up the warmth.

"Hey, you," Tor whispered. "Okay?"

"Okay. Everyone gone?"

"Just about. Hungry?" Tor's hand rubbed on Jake's back, slow and soothing.

Jake shook his head. "What time is it?"

"About nine. Do you think he'll sleep through the night?"

"No idea," Jake said with a sigh. "He's exhausted, though. Cried for a long time."

Tor nodded. "You?"

"Yeah." Jake sighed again and moved a little closer to Tor, his head resting on Tor's shoulder. "Can we…? Do you think…?"

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Wordlessly, Tor moved them down the hall and into their borrowed bedroom.

"We should help clean up," Jake protested weakly, not in the least bit interested in being anywhere other than where he was going. Still, though. He had to offer, even had to go out in the kitchen and

help if that's what was necessary.

"We will. Later." Tor's voice was low and steady, and every move he made only put them closer to the bed.

"I just…" Jake paused and tried to find a few words to describe what he was feeling, what he

needed.

"I know," Tor told him, easing them both down onto the bed. "You're tired, you're sad, and you just need to forget for a little while. I know."

"Do you?" Jake asked, rolling away only far enough to unbutton his shirt and peel it off. "Need to forget?"

"Some things." Tor kissed him, helped with Jake's shirt, and then tugged his own off. "But mostly I just hate the thought of leaving. Leaving you here, hurting."

Jake nodded. "I'm not thinking about that yet." He undid his trousers and sat up, pushing them off awkwardly.

"Don't," Tor told him, his hands skimming over Jake's body. "Waste of time, thinking about it.

Talking about it."

Jake nodded, not really able to do anything else. He felt like he was under a mountain of blankets,

everything distant and unable to reach him. Even Tor's touch felt muted, like it was a memory al-

ready and not an experience. "Be here," he whispered. "I need you to be here. Now."

"I've got you," Tor told him, sounding sure and strong and dependable. "I'll take care of you, Jake."

"You always do." Jake closed his eyes and opened his mouth, taking Tor's kisses and his words, sure that Tor would do exactly as he promised. With mouth and hands and words, Tor took charge

and made Jake forget for a while, made anything not there in the room with them fade away until

Jake thought he himself would float away and not come back. He was anchored, though, tied to Tor

in an infinite number of ways, and when Tor finally slid into his body, Jake was right there with

him, holding onto life and hope and joy.

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Jake was alone in the bed when he woke up, but by the way the light was hitting the walls from the

window, he was sure it was still early morning. He couldn't hear anyone moving around in the

house, but long experience told him Tor would be up and sitting somewhere with a cup of coffee.

The thought of coffee was enough to get him mobile; the promise of a few quiet moments with Tor

was an added blessing.

Dressed, but promising himself a shower before too long, he made his way to the kitchen and ran

his hand over Tor's shoulders as he passed him. Tor was sitting at the table, his mug in front of him

as he read the morning paper.

"You're up early," Jake said as he poured his own coffee.

"Fell asleep early." Tor smiled at him as Jake joined him at the table. "We were out by ten, you know."

"Really?" Jake's concept of time had gotten a little shaky over the past few days. "God, poor Cath.

We should have helped her clean up."

Tor nodded as he sipped his coffee. "She left some of it," he said, nodding to the dishwasher. "I emptied it and ran another load. We'll vacuum and stuff later."

Jake didn't find that eased his conscience much, but it would have to do. "Is she still in bed?" he asked.

Tor nodded. "Jacob's still out, too. He's exhausted."

"Yeah." Jake got up and went to the counter, bringing the pad by the phone back with him, along with a pen. "Help me out here," he said, sitting down and starting a list. "I have to find out when Jacob has to get back to the doctor about his arm." He wrote 'Doctor/Jacob' down and looked at

Tor.

"Rent on this place," Tor said, leaning back in his chair. "We have to call the owner and find out how long it's paid up, how much notice they need."

Jake wrote it down, nodding. "Have to go over 'Lissa's will, or talk to the lawyer again about that.

Figure out what to sell, and how." He took notes, reaching for the phone book on the edge of the

table. "We should make a list of anything big we might be able to use--or Cath--and what Jacob

might like to have with him. Rent a truck."

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Tor shook his head. "I'll bring mine, and a trailer if it comes to that. Jacob's bed, desk… whatever."

"Yeah, okay. And we'll have to see if we can refund the open-ended ticket for the airline--we'll be driving back with you. Lost cause, most likely." Jake added a couple more things to the list, about Jacob's medical and school records and settling the bank accounts. "Which room should we give

Jacob?"

"We can figure that out after I get home and take a look. The one at the end of the hall is the big-gest, but--"

"We just painted it for our sisters to use and it's girly. Right."

Tor grinned. "It'll keep him busy if we make him paint it again."

Jake snorted. "He’ll be busy enough in the barn, learning to take care of the horses."

"True enough," Tor said easily, standing up. "Breakfast?"

Jake smiled. "Yeah, thanks. I think Cath and I'll spend a good part of the day starting to go through the house. Maybe get Jacob to help out, if he wants to. He might have opinions we should take into

account."

Tor got out the eggs. "Yeah," he agreed, rummaging for a mixing bowl. "I'll do what I can on the phone, too." He paused. "I'm heading back tomorrow, cowboy," he said softly.

Jake set the pen down and sighed. "I know. I'm trying not to think about it."

Tor came back to the table and kissed him. "It'll be okay," he said. "We'll all be okay."

"Eventually. I just… I don't like being without you." Jake felt like a fool saying it, but it was true.

"I know," Tor whispered, kissing him again. "We have the phone, though. And I'll be back as often as I can swing it. Maybe you and Jacob can come for a weekend before school lets out."

Jake nodded, although he doubted it, given there were only three weeks left of school. "And there's today."

"And tonight."

A cough from the door startled them both into jumping and Cath smiled at them. "So, I'm thinking

it might be a good idea for me to take Jacob out to the movies tonight. Or dinner. Or anywhere

where you two aren't saying goodbye."

"Sounds like a plan," Tor said before Jake could protest. "Want some eggs for breakfast?"

"Uh-huh. And then you can make another pot of coffee, Romeo."

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Natural Disaster

Jake snickered and went back to planning their day, ducking to avoid the whap on the head Tor

aimed at him.

He felt almost normal for the first time in nearly a week.

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The day seemed to pass both quickly and impossibly slowly by turns.

Doing a tour of the house with Cath at his side, Jake made notes about which pieces of furniture to

move and which to donate or sell, then enlisted Jacob's reluctant help to pick a tentative date for a

yard sale. He told himself that he wasn't trying to be deliberately cruel and that involving Jacob in

the inevitable process was going to give Jacob a sense of power and control in the long run, but it

still felt shitty.

Jacob, however, seemed to share his own odd feeling of energy in the aftermath of the funeral. He

talked more, stacked books and things he didn't want to take with him, and measured his bedroom

furniture for Tor. Jake was well aware that it was likely fleeting; he hoped that Jacob knew it, too,

and wouldn't be devastated when he was once more feeling weak and lost.

"Time will tell," Tor whispered as they passed in the hall around noon. The sentiment seemed to come out of nowhere, but it made Jake smile to know that they were so in tune with each other,

sharing the train of thought.

In the afternoon Jake spent some time on the phone when he could pry it away from Jacob, who

had taken up residence on the couch, his bad arm propped on a pillow and his good hand rapidly

dialing friend after friend and touching base with them in quick succession.

That, too, was a good sign, Jake knew, and he would have happily let Jacob go with it if he didn't

need to be doing, moving, calling, dealing with things himself. When Cath pointed out that he

could use her cell phone he felt himself start to blush, embarrassed that the thought hadn't even oc-

curred to him. Wordlessly, he handed the phone back to Jacob, got a half smile in reply, and took

Cath's cell to the kitchen with him.

The landlady, who had heard what had happened through the paper and had not called out of re-

spect, was more than pleasant. She expressed her sympathies, agreed that it would be best for Jacob

to stay where he was for the remainder of the school year, and told Jake that there wouldn't be any

need to change the lease.

"I can put your name on it and have you sign until the end of May, Mr. Taggart, that won't be any

trouble, but I'm fine with leaving it as is. It's only a few weeks, after all, and given the circum-

stances…" She trailed off and then added, "Ms. Taggart's lease was due to be renewed in October, but it's void and you don't have to worry about it. Just let me know when I can show the house--

after you've moved out, even. Don't you worry about a thing dealing with that, you understand?"

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Natural Disaster

"It'll be before the end of the month," Jake assured her. "I expect we'll stay through the weekend after school lets out, so he can see his friends for a bit, but then we'll be off. I can't be away from home too long past that."

She made more sympathetic noises and that was one more thing crossed off his list.

By the end of the afternoon he'd paced and made calls and drafted yet more lists. Tor and Cath sat