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wasn’t likely.

“What I’m trying to get you to consider is that body life is not something you can create. It is a gift that Father gives as people grow in his life. Body life isn’t rocket science. It is the easiest thing in the world when

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people are walking with him. You get within twenty feet of someone else on that journey and you’ll find

fellowship easy and fruitful.”

“That’s what we’re looking for. We thought that when we got church right we’d all have the relationship

with God we’re looking for,” Marvin broke in.

John continued, “Just consider that you’ve gotten it backwards. No church model will produce God’s life in

you. It works the other way around. Our life in God, shared together, expresses itself as the church. It is the

overflow of his life in us. You can tinker with church principles forever and still miss out on what it means to

live deeply in Father’s love and know how to share it with others.”

“That’s not how I learned it,” Laurie offered. “How are we going to know how to live in God’s life if

someone doesn’t show us?”

“That’s where religion has done the most damage. By making people dependent on its leaders, it has made

God’s people passive in their own spiritual growth. We wait for others to show us how, or even just follow

them in hopes that they’re getting it right. Jesus wants this relationship with you and he wants you to be an

active part in that process.”

“But can we do it on our own? Don’t we need some help?” Marsha asked.

“Who said you’re alone? Jesus is the way to the Father. As you learn to yield to his Spirit and depend on his

power, you’ll discover how to live in the fullness of his life. Yes, he’ll often use other people to encourage or

equip you in that process, but the people he uses won’t let you grow dependent on them. They wouldn’t

dare crawl between you and the greatest joy of this family—a growing relationship with the Father himself.

“That’s what I’d rather have talked about tonight. So many groups I’m with are continually trying to figure

out the best way to do church. What if we spent all that time and energy focused on the Father’s love, what

Jesus is doing in us, and how we can live more freely in his Spirit? Then we’d know how to love each other.

We’d be honest and open and support each other on this journey. Our focus would be on him, not ourselves

and our needs, and some amazing things would happen.”

“But won’t people who just ‘follow Jesus’ live independently from the body?” Marvin asked.

“Do you think that’s possible?”

“You don’t?”

“That’s the fear I hear all the time, but I don’t see it. People who are growing in their relationship with

Father will hunger for real connections with his family. He is the God of community. That’s his nature, and

knowing him draws us into that community, not only with God himself, but also with others who know

him. It is not our obligation. It’s his gift.”

“I’ve got a good friend who was so hurt by her past church experience that she doesn’t want to meet with

any group of Christians ever again,” Laurie said.

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“And God knows where she is and how best to get through to her. We often mistake the middle of a chapter

for the end of the story. Maybe Father is just drawing her to himself right now. If she’s your friend, stay

close to her. You can be her link to the family as Father works in her.”

“I have a friend in Georgia who just can’t find anyone who wants this kind of life together,” Marvin said.

“Father knows that too! Certainly there are others near him with a similar hunger, but if Father hasn’t made

those connections yet, he can rest in that. It’s much easier for us to find it when we live contentedly in God’s

provision rather than being anxious for what we don’t see. Encourage him to enjoy what Father is doing

each day while keeping his eyes open for others. You never know how or when God will make

connections.”

“My friend just won’t leave the institution because he says he’ll feel too guilty,” Marvin said.

“Love him too! Stay in touch with him. Share what Jesus is doing in your life and you’ll encourage him to live

closer, too. Don’t worry about where he is right now. If Father’s at work in his life he’ll be untangling that

guilt. There’s no telling where he’ll end up after that.”

“So even our participation in the body is larger than one group?” Ben asked.

“It is so much larger. That’s what I don’t want you to miss.” John looked at his watch and turned to Jeremy

and Diane, “We probably need to get going, don’t we?”

“Well, I hate to cut things off,” Jeremy said. And the rest of us didn’t want him to either. We had a hundred

things we still wanted to ask John.

“You’re not. I told you I’d get you home at a reasonable time.”

“This has been so helpful, John, though I’m not sure I get everything you’re saying,” Ben said, shaking his

head.

“You don’t need to. If I’ve encouraged you to follow him a bit more closely and to trust him with greater

freedom, he’ll sort out the rest. He’s the cornerstone of the church. It’s his not mine. Ask him to sort out

all this in you individually and collectively. He’s been doing this a couple of thousand years and he’s really

good at what he does.”

“Can I ask one more question?” Roary’s boldness tonight was way out of character. John turned and

nodded. “I’d like to believe it’s that simple, but something tells me I’ll mess it up. Do you really believe

we’re good enough to hear God’s voice every day?”

“What a question!” John laughed as he stood up. “Of course not, Roary. None of us are that good. But I

think you’re asking the wrong question. Let’s phrase it like this: Is Jesus big enough to get through to you

every day? Do you think he is big enough to get past your blind spots, overcome your doubts and show you

his way? Doesn’t that get a resounding ‘yes’? Share that journey together and you’ll experience body life

more real than you’ve ever dreamed.”

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With that John helped Diane and Jeremy pick up their dishes and gather Jason’s things before plunging

through a sea of hugs and good-byes. As we cleaned up afterwards and put the table and chairs back in the

garage I listened as people reflected on the evening. Most were excited at what they had heard, though

uncertain of what it would mean for us.

“He didn’t really say anything I haven’t thought before,” Marvin said shaking his head. “It’s just the kind of

stuff you’re afraid to believe is true.”

“Religion runs deep,” I responded, knowing all too well how he felt. But my stomach was in knots for

another reason. As I said good-bye to Diane she had whispered in my ear that she needed help with Pastor

Jim and wanted to talk with me another time.

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- 10 -

Won to Trust

What a morning!

Nothing had gone well and by lunchtime I was pretty frustrated. I had spent a good part of the morning on

the phone with Diane. About a month after John had visited our home group she had come over to talk to

Laurie and me about her continuing struggle over the affair she’d had with our former pastor. She’d been

getting some help sorting out her emotions and felt she was ready to confront him. She wanted to know if

I’d go with her.

My first reaction was to try to help her, no matter how awkward it would be for me. Initially I had no idea

how to do it, or even if I could get an appointment with Jim. But the more I thought about it the more

uneasy I felt. Something just didn’t seem right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I told her of my hesitation

and she had given me some time to sort through it. But now, two months later, she was downright angry at

what she thought was my procrastination and accused me of not caring for her.

No amount of assurance otherwise could dissuade her and she ended the call by hanging up on me. I

understood, but it still hurt. As I was trying to decide what to do, two other phone calls interrupted my

thoughts. The first notified me that an important house sale had fallen out of escrow. The purchasing

couple had decided to split up and pulled out of the deal one week before closing. I was set to net about

$15,000.00 from the sale, $5,000 of which I needed desperately by the end of the month. With no other

deals even close to closing, I had no idea what I was going to do.

Then a few moments later my lunch appointment had cancelled. I was about to list a strip mall that was

going up for sale, but at the last minute another realtor caught wind of the potential sale and had swooped

in to take the listing. The client apologized, said he felt more comfortable with this other realtor and was

sorry to disappoint me. I wished him well, though we both knew it was less than sincere.

I sat for a few moments at my desk with my head in my hands. The morning had been a disaster and I now

felt suspended over an uncertain precipice. I had no idea how all of this would play out, but I remember

thinking at the time that I was surprised I wasn’t angry. I even wondered if I should have been.

I decided to drive home and see what Laurie was doing for lunch. As I walked out of my office, I was

surprised to see John walking up the sidewalk toward me. He was looking down and hadn’t noticed me

before I called out, “And what are you doing here?”

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He looked up with a smile. “Oh, Hi Jake.” We met part way down the sidewalk with a hug. “I thought I’d

see what you were doing for lunch.”

“I suppose you just happen to be in the neighborhood…” I winked as if we had some kind of inside joke.

“No, I actually came to see you. You’ve been on my heart for the last week or so, and I thought it might be a

good time to come up.”

“Don’t you ever warn anyone when you’re coming? What if I hadn’t been here?”

“But you are.”

“But I had a lunch appointment just cancel, so you took a chance.” My excitement at seeing him quickly

overwhelmed the morning’s disappointments.

“Is that place okay?” John asked nodding to a diner across the street.

“Not really. It’s a bit of a dive. The food is not great. But there’s an Applebee’s around the corner about a

quarter of a mile. We could walk there or I could take my car.”

“It’s an incredible day, let’s walk,” John said as he motioned up the sidewalk.

“How are you doing, John?” I asked him before he could ask me.

John looked a bit surprised at the question. “I’m doing well these days, Jake. I’ve done a bit more traveling

than I’d like but I’ve met some wonderful people that are sorting out what it means to live this journey.”

“Is that all you do?”

“No,” he laughed, “But it’s what I enjoy most. I’m a bit of a handyman, so I often do remodeling work, but

mostly I do it just to be with the people involved. What about you, Jake? How are you doing?”

“I don’t know. I’m at a strange time. Things don’t seem to be fitting together too well and this morning has

been devastating.”

“How so?”

“Diane came to see Laurie and me after you brought her to our home group that night. She wants me to go

with her and confront Jim about their affair.”

“What did you tell her?”

“Initially I said I would because I wanted to help her, but I needed to sort out how that might happen. It’s

been three months, John, and every time I get ready to call Jim I get this overwhelming feeling that I

shouldn’t. I really can’t put my finger on it. She was pretty angry today. She thinks I’m just too afraid to go

through with it.”

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“Are you?”

“I really don’t think that’s it, John. Certainly it will be uncomfortable and I don’t look forward to it, but I

keep thinking the timing isn’t right, or something else I don’t see yet.”

“That’s often how God works, Jake. If you’re willing to do something but don’t sense it’s right when you

move ahead, you are better off waiting until it’s clear.”

“Even if someone else thinks you’re a chicken?”

“Even if. You can’t blame her for not seeing what you see. Be true to his work in you and love others even

through their misunderstanding of that. That’s how to live with grace.”

We had arrived at Applebee’s and I opened the door to motion John in ahead of me. We were shown to

our table and, as we looked over the menu, John asked how the people were doing whom he had met with

last time.

As I looked up to answer my eye caught sight, over John’s right shoulder, of someone who made my heart

skip a beat. It was Jim, my former boss and the pastor at City Center. He was all smiles as he greeted the

hostess and signaled for a table for two, but as soon as she turned to take him to his booth I watched his

shoulders sag as he blew out a deep sigh. He looked like someone who had pulled an all-nighter. He went

to a booth in the far corner and pulled out a book to read without even looking at the menu.

Distracted by his presence, I still tried to answer John’s question. “Everyone seems to be doing well, but the

group as a whole has really broken down since you were there.”

“Why is that?”

“Part of it had to do with summer vacations, but I also think people took to heart what you said and have not