Mia Like Crazy (16 page)

I had high expectations for the evening, or, at least, high hopes. The restaurant was fabulous, and Drew was a charming dinner companion. When I couldn’t decide what I wanted, he offered to order for me, saying he thought he had my taste buds figured out. He chose the perfect wine to go with the meal, and even toasted me as his “lovely bride.”

He was so perfect he reminded me of an actor in an old romantic movie. I was in a state of complete infatuation. Later, when we sat in the theater watching the comedy I’d chosen, he chuckled out loud with me several times. The night would
have been a dream come true.

But back in the car for the ride home, it hit me that not once had he held my hand, much less given me a peck on the cheek.

I’d had such high hopes for the “date” when it started, but I realized it was possible that Drew didn’t plan to do anything more than take me out of the house for the night.

I couldn’t stand the thought of going back to the apartment and watching him retreat into his room again.

I felt I’d done every normal thing a woman did do to attract a man. I’d dressed for him, teased him, tried to touch him, undressed for him…

Maybe that’s it. I’ve done every “normal” thing I could. I have to remember who I’m dealing with.

I decided I was probably going to have to do something dramatic to get his attention, but in a last ditch effort to get a normal response out of him, I placed my hand on his thigh and felt his body tense at my touch.

It was the last straw. I reached over and grabbed the steering wheel, causing the car to veer off onto the wide dirt shoulder. He braked, and the tires screeched to a halt.

“Are you out of your mind? You could have gotten yourself killed!” he yelled.

The adrenaline surge from my uncharacteristic death-defying act had me ready for a confrontation.

“Am
I
out of my
mind? Am
I
out of
my
mind?” I yelled. “Yes, Drew, I
am
out of my mind. Do you know when baby monkeys are deprived of physical contact they’ll go crazy or even die, regardless of how much nourishment they’re given?”

“What?” His expression said he thought maybe I’d gone nuts.

“Do you know that humans—normal humans—are very much the same way?”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about, Mia.”

“Drew, I’m going crazy. I’m lonely. I can’t sleep at night, and I need someone to touch me. For some insane reason, I want that to be you, and all the bacon and eggs and pasta in the world aren’t going to satisfy me.
Look at me!
Look at the circles under my eyes. I lie awake at night wondering if cooking me dinner or showing me the sunset means you care about me. My God, do you ever have any desire to touch me? Or am I completely deluded? Just tell me so I can sleep at night!”

When I finally finished my tirade, his hands dropped from the steering wheel and his head fell back on the headrest.

He spoke in a voice that was barely more than a whisper. “You’re not deluded.”

“Then, why?”

He closed his eyes. “You’re way out of my league, Mia.”

“I’m out of
your
league? Drew, you’re handsome, rich and even funny, in your own demented way. Do you know where I came from? Who my parents were?”

He opened his eyes and turned his head toward me. “I know. I told you I had you checked out before you came to town. But that’s not what I’m talking about. You, yourself, are perfect. You’re like a fantasy come to life. I want you like I never wanted anything …ever.”

“Then why do you seem so far away from me?” I pleaded. “Why do you show me the sunset and walk out on me? Why do you unbutton my dress and leave the room? It doesn’t make any sense.”

His eyes wandered from mine to stare into the darkness outside. “My life doesn’t make any sense. All I know is I’m nothing. I’m deranged, I’m weak, and I’m the worst thing that could ever happen to you. I’m a loser, and I’ll never deserve you. I’m lucky to get to spend whatever time I can with you before you leave.”

My heart shattered at his miserable appraisal of himself. I wanted to comfort him. I reached over and touched his arm lightly. “Does it matter that I want you so badly, I ache for you when you’re with me, and I cry for you when you’re not?”

Drew turned toward me, and as the car lights from the road passed over his features, he appeared astonished by my confession.

Then, suddenly, he grasped my arms and pulled me to him. His lips pressed into mine and his tongue pushed its way into my mouth before I even had a chance to open it for him.

Physical relief flooded through me, but the whimper that came with it was swallowed up by his rough kiss. I ran my fingers through his hair and stroked his cheeks with my thumbs. He moved on top of me, squeezing my breasts against his hard chest.

I could feel his arousal against my thigh. Silently, I cursed his father and his stupid too-small sports car. I knew if we could manage it, Drew would make love to me right there, right then.

His hands roamed down my back and then up the front of my dress, caressing my stomach, my breasts, my face.

Go lower
, I wanted to say, but the sensations I was already feeling were so fabulous I didn’t dare complain. His kiss grew softer and our lips parted. He had the most profound look on his face.

I felt his eyes loving me, wanting me. “
Mia…
” he whispered.

In an instant, the driver’s side door flew open and he was dragged off me and out of the car.

I was confused and panicked. Frantically, I tried to open my door, but couldn’t find the handle in the dark. I heard yelling and struggling. A bright light shone in my face. I scrambled across the front seats and flew out the driver’s side door.

Strong hands clutched my shoulders. As I tried to fight them off, I looked around frantically for Drew.

Was he already dead? My eyes finally focused, and I noticed that the man with his hands on me was wearing a police uniform.

“Calm down, ma’am. Everything will be all right.”

“Where is he?” I screamed. “What have you
done
?”

“It’s okay, ma’am. We’ve got him. You’ll be all right now.”

Then I saw Drew, bent over the back of the car, being handcuffed by another cop.

“Are you crazy? Let go of me!” I yelled as I struggled away from the confused policeman. He unhanded me and stepped aside. I ran to the back of the car and screamed at the other officer.

“Stop it. Turn him loose!”

“It’s all right ma’am. We’ll take care of him. We have an ambulance coming for you.”

“Why do I need an ambulance?” I tried to get a grip on what was happening.

“To see if he injured you,” the officer answered. Drew straightened and the cop pushed him down again, smashing his face into the back windshield.

“Stop it! You’re hurting him!” I screamed. The other officer came around to the back of the car and tried, once more, to calm me. My head cleared and I realized he was treating me like a crime victim. Although this was like some kind of nightmare, I remembered I was a lawyer, focused my thoughts, and spoke calmly to the officer.

“What made you stop here?”

“Oh, I’d know that car anywhere, ma’am. That’s Drew Larson’s car, and when we looked in, we saw him attacking you.

Oh, my God.
“Listen to me very carefully,” I said as firmly as I could manage considering that my body still shook all over. “I am not a rape victim. I’m his wife and an attorney and if you don’t take those handcuffs off him, immediately, I’ll file harassment suits against each of you, personally.”

“Ma’am, are you sure—?”

“Am I sure I wasn’t raped? Am I sure that I’m his wife? Or am I sure I’m an attorney?”

After consulting with each other, one of the cops walked over and unlocked the cuffs. Drew picked himself up off the car and touched his forehead where it had hit the windshield. His—previously immaculate—attire was dirty and torn, and his face was bruised.

“It looks to me like you used excessive force on a man for kissing his own wife in his own car.” I said. “I think an apology is in order.”

“Well, he is Drew Larson, and we thought—”

“I don’t give a damn what you thought! If you want this incident to be forgotten, you’d better apologize and make it sound sincere.”

One of the officers walked over to Drew and said, “I’m very sorry to have intruded, Mr. Larson. We didn’t know you’d gotten married.”

As they walked away, I could still hear them talking. “Smart move for him, marrying a lawyer.”

“Yeah, it’ll save him a fortune in legal bills.” They laughed as they climbed into the cruiser.

I tried to check Drew for additional injuries, but he insisted he was fine. When he lowered himself into the car, however, he did so very slowly, as though he was sore all over. I got in on my side and put on my seatbelt as he moved the car back onto the pavement and headed for home.

After a few minutes passed, he spoke. “This is how it’s always going to be for me, Mia.” His voice was quiet and resigned.

“The police in this town are obviously gunning for you. Why don’t you move away from here?” I said. “You’re not notorious worldwide, you know.”

“Where would I go?”

“Anywhere. You have choices. You’re not that trapped little kid anymore.”

The car was silent for several minutes.

“Mia?”

“Yes?”

“Did you have dreams when you were a kid?”

I peered at him, trying to read his expression in the dark car. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, like, you know, hopes and dreams.”

“Sure I did.” Where was he going with this?

He pulled up to a red light. “What were they?” He looked over at me as if he truly cared what they were.

I was silent for a moment. No one had ever asked what I wanted before, and I felt odd revealing the answers. But I couldn’t refuse to answer him after all he’d been through that night.

“I wanted to be successful and rich and respected, and have people look up to me instead of down on me,” I said bluntly. “I’ve always wanted to go to Paris.” I paused, uncomfortable admitting my wildest dream. “And ever since I was in college, I wanted to have enough money to fund a scholarship for girls like me. Everybody has dreams.”

“I don’t.” Drew accelerated and stared solemnly ahead at the dark road. “When people say, ‘Follow your dreams,’ I don’t really know what they’re talking about. If I had any when I was a kid, they were wiped out somewhere along the way.” His voice held a desolate quality and I felt his emptiness. “When you say, ‘Move away somewhere,’ I can’t even imagine where. Or what difference it would make.”

“But we’re all ‘works in progress.’ Tomorrow doesn’t have to be the same as today and yesterday.”

“It’s always been the same for me.”

I didn’t know what to say. I had a lump in my throat and I didn’t want him to feel my pity. My heart broke for the little boy who had lost hope so long ago and for the still hopeless man at my side.

For the first time, I saw my own childhood differently. As angry as I was with my mother, I never doubted her love. There were some happy times before the drug habit took over, and at other times when she made attempts to quit using. I’d never lived with anyone who really wanted to hurt me or break my spirit. They didn’t hate me, and never intentionally inflicted pain upon me. I couldn’t believe I was thinking of my childhood and feeling lucky.