Mesopotamia - The Redeemer (32 page)

“A yellowish white. At dawn, it
starts as a fine line of mist. Over the course of several hours,
the light grows stronger, until it fills the entire sky with pure
white.” As he was speaking the light in the room grew brighter,
almost blinding them. Sophia rocked and leaned against Smoke for a
moment. A dark spot of brown spread like a puddle under their feet
to resemble the ground. The brown color turned lighter as it
reached the horizon and connected with the sky.

“I am a guest in your world. Thank
you!” she smiled.

Smoke considered her words and
realized he did not mean to invite her, but if she thought so, why
not? He would continue to assure her that they were indeed working
together. “You are welcome!”

“Is your sky always like that?”

“Before the wars of the Gods, the
sky was a light blue because the rays of the sun were refracted in
the atmosphere. The wars altered the atmosphere and then the blue
disappeared.”

She was silent so that he would go
on.

He continued. “Truth says that the
white of the sky is a revelation of the Master of Light.” The
screen responded before the words were even out of his mouth and
the color instantly turned to blue and then back to a bright
white.

Suddenly they heard the sound of
rolling laughter. Smoke smiled. Sophia was surprised. Suddenly he
no longer seemed like a cruel warrior but a friendly young man.
'Don't let his smile fool you,' said Thales' voice; 'If you have
managed to see that he's a person just like you, then you have
taken a step forward,' said Enosh's voice.

A small dark dot began to emerge on
the horizon. The dot grew, swaying from side to side. In the
background were ruins of a reddish hue. Only when the dot
approached them did she begin to recognize it for what it was. It
was a hyena, playful and happy, hopping in place. A smile
illuminated Smoke's face. For a moment it seemed as though he had
forgotten that he was in the simulator of Samos and considered the
hyena to be real.

'Are hyenas the sacred animals of
the Gnostics?' she wondered.

Smoke was quick to explain. “This
is Spot.”

“Spot?”

“My friend from the desert.”

'A pet? Belonging to a Gnostic?'
The revelation encouraged her.

Spot continued to prance about and
slowly receded into the horizon. The desert and the sky returned to
their bright emptiness. She waited patiently. It appeared in the
meantime that Smoke's apprehensiveness about the simulator had
begun to diminish.

Small, dark diamonds twinkled on a
mustard-colored stripe on the horizon. They initially moved in a
random order, and then slowly their movements were regulated as a
wave, separating the earth from the heavens.

“What is this? What are you
thinking?” she asked.

“I don't know what this is. Are you
sure it's coming from me?” he asked, retreating once more so that
she could not gain control of his mind. The simulator picked up on
the contents below the threshold of his consciousness before he
could even register them in his mind. At once the colors and shapes
combined, creating a holographic image.

“Master of Light!” the words left
Smoke's mouth.

Fear struck him with a crushing
blow. On the virtual ground before them, a giant snake appeared.
Its head was resting on its coils and its mustard-colored skin was
flecked with brown and red diamonds. The snake lay motionless,
gathered in its coils. With her free hand Sophia touched the
transparent screen of the simulator control panel, switching off
the blinking light indicating real object recognition. Smoke did
not notice. He mumbled in confusion, “I am Cosmos, I am Cosmos,
Iamco... Iamco... Iamcosmosiamcosmosiamcosmos...” His heart was
racing, his breathing became shallow and fast, a cold sweat
drenched his body and tightness crushed his chest. The holographic
space faded in spurts until it turned to complete darkness.

Sophia had not expected such a
quick response. She knew what distress the simulator could cause
for those that used it, and had therefore been careful not to let
Enosh use it before he had regained his identity, nevertheless, she
had assumed that the impact it would have on the tough Gnostics
would be far more limited. Again, she came to the conclusion that
Gnostics were far more personable than Pythagorean propaganda had
let on. She felt sorry for him. For a long time, Sophia did not
move, as if she had finally managed to put a crying baby to sleep.
She adjusted her heart rate in time with his excited breathing.
Gradually, their breathing slowed and stabilized. 'Enough for now,'
Sophia thought as she touched the control panel to turn off the
simulator.

When he returned to his senses,
Smoke said sheepishly, “That was the Master of Light.” He was
ashamed for exposing his weakness and losing his detached demeanor.
Gnostic training had prepared him for all physical and cognitive
challenges posed by his enemies. Once he had determined his goal,
he knew exactly how to achieve it. This time, however, was
different. He felt like he had lost all control. Suddenly, all he
had concealed in his mind had been revealed.

“The snake?”

“Yes, that is one of the ways he
manifests himself,” he spoke before he even considered his
words.

“That's what the Gnostics taught
you?”

“No, that I learned in the desert,
before I met Truth.”

'I mustn't push any further,'
Sophia said to herself. 'I mustn't overwhelm him with questions.
Patience, he wants to tell more. Just as Enosh said, give him the
chance to realize the need to express himself. First comes desire,
then awareness and then expression.'

But he remained silent. 'Perhaps he
is waiting for an opening?' she wondered.

“In the desert?” Sophia
whispered.

Smoke released his grip when he
realized that he had been leaning on her. She had sat in her chair
and avoided staring directly at him, but she had perceived his
confusion and the hint of shame that he had not managed to hide.
'Give him space,' she reminded herself.

Smoke sat down and did not answer.
It seemed to Sophia as though he were receding into himself, like
the snake in the simulator.

“What do you want?” she gently
asked him, aware of the calculated risk.

“I must make contact with my
commander again,” Smoke said and rose to his feet.

“Smoke to Truth.”

“Truth here. Any additional
information?”

Smoke was afraid of Truth's
question. Did he suspect that Smoke had had a vision of the Master
of Light? Then he came to a more painful realization. Truth did not
know what was happening to him. He was completely alone. Smoke
found it hard to speak.

Truth asked him again, “Smoke do
you hear me? Did something happen?”

Smoke began to speak very quickly.
“Smoke to Truth, requesting departure from Samos. I believe I
succeeded in obtaining all necessary information for our
reconnaissance mission.” For a moment he left all military
formality aside and added, “This station is having a bad effect on
me. The Pythagorean female took me to their simulator and showed me
the Master of Light.”

“The Master of Light?” Truth was
surprised.

“The simulator presents a
holographic depiction of what is happening in your mind. I was
thinking of the Master of Light and he appeared before my eyes.” He
had no idea how to tell his commander that he was afraid.

Truth understood. His voice
hardened. “Smoke, you must withstand these Pythagorean tricks.
Continue on your mission! It is up to us to reveal all the
Pythagoreans' capabilities and intentions. You must continue
cooperating with them and not arouse any suspicions. They cannot
suspect you and become defensive. Remember your purpose and your
position. I am not releasing you from your mission.”

Smoke bit his lip. The insult
hurled at him by his own commander was justified. He feared that
his self-control was deteriorating and that he was teetering on the
edge. With great effort, he forced his lips to move.

“Yes commander. I will continue on
the mission.”

“Affirmative. Proceed and inform me
on your progress.” Truth was quiet and Smoke feared that their
communication had terminated and he was all alone again, but then
he heard his voice again. “Only inform me about your progress. Do
you understand?”

“Smoke to Truth. Affirmative.” The
tone of his voice had returned to its usual Gnostic firmness. His
shoulders sagged and he sunk into his chair beside the
communication device. He had thought that a conversation with Truth
would encourage him. Instead, however, he felt inadequate and
liable to disappoint him even further. 'How did I let this
manipulative woman influence me? I am a Gnostic, I am impenetrable,
I need to focus on my mission and my purpose in life. I must
continue on mission,” he scolded himself.

High above him in the ship, Truth
sat back, troubled. He was not happy about being so harsh with
Smoke. Perhaps Smoke's association with the Pythagoreans was
weakening him. He still had faith in his protégé and he hoped that
his harsh words would yield some good.

Smoke turned away from the
communication device, angry and tense. He felt trapped. He could
not disappoint Truth, and yet his experience with the simulator
evoked unbearable emotions.

He knew that the calm surrounding
him might take him off his guard, but the frustration he felt was
unbearable. He roamed the station and inadvertently started to
relax as he passed through the arched pastel-colored walls,
listening to the heavenly music. He reached the metallic, liquid
orb—the processor—and stood there, mesmerized by what he saw.

'The sooner I hurry to obtain
information for Truth, the sooner it will be the time for our
invasion and then I will dwell in the pure pleroma of the aeons,'
thought Smoke as he made his way toward Sophia and the
simulator.

When he reached the door of the
simulator, he found Sophia sitting in the chair, watching the
swirling colorful spheres. The melody of the spheres had ceased to
bother him and he began to actually enjoy it. The spirals turned,
crossed over each other and then combined harmoniously, in sync
with the music pervading the room. Smoke entered the room, and
before a single word left his lips, the spirals collapsed into one
another, creating a perfect circle encompassing the room.

Sophia turned around and saw him
standing in the doorway. She gestured with her hand for him to join
her. He stayed standing, rooted to his spot. Something stopped him,
despite his devotion to Truth. His inhibition reminded him of how
he had stood on the brink of a great abyss in his childhood.

The simulator responded
immediately. The room darkened and the circle became a line that
lay right at his feet. The line transformed into the edge of the
Gnostic compound building from which he had almost jumped when he
was ten years old. He was standing right at the edge and was able
to look down. One of his group members who was passing below
recognized him and yelled for Truth. Smoke continued to stand on
the roof the simulator had created for him.

“Where is Truth?” asked the
distressed Smoke. Was this the distress of the boy on the roof in
Uruk, or that of the Gnostic warrior in the simulator? Contrary to
what he remembered, the image of Truth did not come this time. The
soft voice of Sophia calling his name sounded so far away. He
withdrew from the edge and turned away from the simulated image.
Sophia turned off the simulation. Smoke stepped towards the chair
in front of her and sat down. 'What is happening to me?' he
wondered. 'This woman uses witchcraft to confuse me. But what does
she want?' Surprisingly, the music was pleasant to his ears.

Both of them stayed silent for a
long time. She knew that he would prevail in the battle of silence
but was afraid that anything she would say would only push him
further away.

She was reminded of a conversation
with Enosh during her training.

“You say that the obstacle to one
discovering oneself is fear of disappointment. Is there anything
else that can hinder a person's self-awareness?”

“Yes, when you become the tool in
someone else's hand on their quest for satisfaction.”

“Why?”

“So as to not have free will. One
of the strategies that allow a person to shirk away from his
responsibilities on his quest for satisfaction is for him to relate
to someone else and place the responsibility on his shoulders.”

“Like the Master of Light or the
leader of the Gnostics?”

“Exactly. The hierarchical order
allows a person to become the satisfier of another's desire instead
of having a desire of one's own.”

Sophia was shocked when she thought
of her Pythagorean devotion as an alternative to having free will.
“So then all experience of devotion means giving up one's free
will?”

“No,” Enosh calmed her down. “There
is dedication to desire and there is dedication to non-desire.
There is the dedication of one's will by way of dedicating oneself
to another person, which will extract for us what we want to
extract from ourselves. We appoint this person, so that he will
elicit from us and be strict with us regarding what is important to
us. On the other hand, by sacrificing our will we bring ourselves
closer to someone else's goals.”

“Wouldn't it just be simpler to
have no will; to despair and be disappointed? Why surrender our
will to someone else?”

“In the despair of disappointment
there is something final. There is complete relinquishment of one's
will. In depositing our will with another person, we keep the
option of withdrawing it back. One redeems one's will, so to speak.
The other person's will want for us until we are able to want for
ourselves. He carries the burden of our desires. A person can
strive physically or mentally, but so long as he is in the service
of another, he will not suffer the effort of carrying his own
desires. There is no risk of disappointment. The pleasure of
bearing no responsibilities becomes a goal within itself, a hidden
desire. We strive and we sweat, but essentially, our wills are at
rest.”