Mercy (17 page)

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he reached for her wrist and brought her hand to his mouth. A lick against her palm. Then a kiss.

His gazed locked with hers as his mouth traveled up her arm to the soft inside of her elbow. When she started shifting on the mattress, he brought her arm back to the bed and slipped the tie around her wrist, looped it around the bedpost. She didn’t say a word as he bound her second hand. Not tight. She could easily break free, but when she grabbed on to the silk, crushed it in her hands, he knew she planned to stay right where she was.

Taking a slow walk around the room, he ended back at her feet. With one knee on the bed and his hands on her ankle, he drew her legs up until he lay between her thighs and her feet balanced against the mattress. “Now, we play.”

He dipped his head and swept his tongue over her lips. One pass, a second. When her leg fell to the side, he sped up, flicking over her until she thrashed against the sheets and tugged on the bindings holding her.

“Jarrett, please.”

The begging.

He loved the begging. “You need to come first.”

And she was right on the edge. Every muscle pulled tight and her body opened for him to do anything he wanted. His mouth continued and when he added his fingers, her hips went wild. Heavy breaths filled the dark room. Her feet flexed and her stomach dipped. With one final pass of his tongue, he felt her body shudder as she let out a stammered exhale.

The orgasm hit her then. Coursed through her as he watched. Still he used his tongue, feeling the sensitive muscles inside her contract and clench.

“Now, Jarrett.” The punctuated words came out between pants.

This time he listened. Blood pounded in his cock and the room started to spin. Climbing up the bed, he fit his body against hers and kissed her again. He rubbed his tip against her, dipping inside.

She turned her head to the side on the pillow. “Condom.”

The spinning stopped and everything inside him froze. “What?”

“Protection.”

Guilt crashed over him. “Damn, I’m so sorry.”

Her mouth covered his in an electric kiss. Not a quick one either. Long and firm, before facing him again. “Both our fault.”

He lifted his hips away from her as a splash of cold washed over him. “Becca—”

“Get it.”

His brain battled with his lower half. They were at two very different places. He might have pulled back, sat up, done something a decent guy running on his last ounce of common sense might do. Then she lifted her hips and rubbed her wetness against his cock and his mind went blank again.

“Are you sure?” He looked down in those eyes searching for anger or disappointment. He only saw heat.

“Find one now or I will rip these bindings off and you’ll be the one tied down.”

Her commanding tone snapped him out of his stupor. Moving now, he kneeled on the bed and grabbed for the knob on the nightstand. With the packet in his hand he looked back to her. Rolling it on, he shifted back to the bed.

Those sexy eyes watched him. Followed him as he moved.

Her legs fell open. “Do it.”

“Oh, yeah.” His body hadn’t cooled after all. Blood pounded in his cock and his body begged for release.

With his hands under her calves, he lifted her legs and balanced her feet over his shoulders. She gasped as her hips rotated off the bed and he opened her wide to his penetration. He rubbed the tip back and forth, sliding over her, back and forth, until her body moved in time with his.

She pulled on the ties as her back arched. “Now, Jarrett.”

Yes, now.

EIGHT
E
EN

A half hour later Becca lay sprawled across Jarrett. She moved her hand and felt a tickle. Looking down, she saw his aqua tie still wrapped around her wrist and flowing over the side of the bed. If she had an ounce of strength she’d take it off.

Not going to happen.

She tried to lift her head off his chest and gave up. She settled for looking around the room. This was her second trip behind the sacred door. The first was about getting in and out then getting the shock of her life. This time her initial focus centered on getting on the bed as fast as possible.

Now she scanned the room, taking in the clean lines and the small changes, like her photo no longer sitting on his nightstand. She never realized how much that mattered or what a huge gesture it had been for a man like Jarrett to include a piece of her in this space after such a short time together. Now it was gone. The loss of such a simple thing slammed into her like a punch to the chest.

To keep from focusing on the strange body blow, her gaze traveled back to the man under her. His arm wrapped around her for the first time in eight months and she welcomed the warming blanket of his touch.

When his breathing evened out and his hand brushed over hers where it lay on his chest, she knew he was awake. If he’d drifted off before, he was back now.

Her mind went to the look of disgust that crossed his face when she mentioned the condom. At first she thought the anger was aimed at her for slowing them down. Then she saw the expression for what it was—self-loathing. For a man used to exercising an extreme amount of self-control, she knew the lapse shocked him.

But the incident did bring up an issue. “That was close.”

His eyes opened.

“I mean the condom,” she said.

“Yeah, I know. Not my finest hour.” Frustration still lingered in his voice.

She was all for chivalry, but she was just as strong an advocate for taking care of herself. “You know I was here, too, right?”

“I don’t have a huge number of rules when it to comes to sex, but a decent guy—a smart one—protects the woman he’s sleeping with.” He rubbed a hand over his face.

She pulled it back down and leaned up on her elbow to get a better look at him. So much for all his protests about being a criminal and living on the dark side. A man who didn’t care about anything would certainly put the full weight of responsibility for birth control on the woman.

“I’m a big girl. It’s my responsibility, too. After all, I’ve been handling it for about a decade now. The slipup is on both of us, but it’s my body.”

He slipped his arm behind his head. “Tell me again why you’re not on birth control right now.”

“I haven’t been since I left you. Being on the run, birth control pills were not my biggest priority. I reached for the Kevlar vest instead.”

“Don’t you need it for the job?”

She shouldn’t have been insulted, but still the words squeezed tight around her heart. And not in a good way. “I haven’t slept with anyone else.”

He held her gaze for a full twenty seconds before nodding his head. “I guess that would have been tough, what with your team getting blown up and all.”

Sure, she threw that out there, being flip. But she didn’t want him hiding behind it. The full truth might scare the hell out of him, but it was still the truth. “That’s not why.”

“Okay. Then why?”

“The point is, if this is going to go on, we should think about getting me to a clinic for birth control. I can’t imagine trying to take care of a little guy on the road.” She sat up and tugged on the sheet beneath her. It didn’t move. Nothing did. The lack of anything had her glancing up again into Jarrett’s blank face. “What?”

In a move so slow it seemed to take forever, he sat up and leaned against the headboard. “You mean you’d have it.”

“A baby?”

“Isn’t that what we’re talking about here?”

It wasn’t until he asked the question that she realized what she’d said. Something so important and she’d tossed it out there without working it through or taking a second to figure out what it meant. “I . . . well, honestly, I hadn’t given it a thought.”

“Do it now.” A certain intensity pulsed off of him and was mirrored in his unwavering stare.

“My inclination is yes. I know that’s stupid because everything is in chaos right now, but . . .” The words felt right. Scary and stupid, yeah, most definitely stupid, but true. Growing up without a mother, she’d never felt the rush to become one herself. But the idea of having a part of him. Then she saw the paleness of his face. “Jarrett?”

“You would have the kid of a man you once hated.”

“That is not true. I have never hated you. Never.” She put a hand over his, trying to loosen his death grip. “Some days I wish I would have been able to, but no.”

“A baby.”

Then she realized this whole scene was as much about him turning over the idea as her. Clearly, he didn’t like the idea. He didn’t balk but his emotions had all but shut down. One more twist and he could actually hurt her arm, though she knew that wasn’t on purpose. He was lost in his thoughts. Still, the idea of having a baby with her had him in its grips and he was fighting it hard.

And that pissed her off.

“For God’s sake, Jarrett. I wouldn’t make you see our hypothetical baby or give me one cent. You can stop worrying.” She shrugged out of his hold and scooted back on the bed. Rubbing her wrist, she scowled at him, letting her anger flow through her as she wrestled with the idea of punching him in the stomach. “If you want me to sign some sort of agreement just in case, have Bast send it over.”

Jarrett’s hands dropped to each side of his hips. The open palms looked as if whatever had him stiff and tight had whooshed right out of him.

She had no idea what was going on.

Before she could ask, color rushed back through him and his face reddened. “You think I’d abandon you?”

She jerked back. Almost fell off the damn bed. “You’d want me to stay?”

“Yes.”

What the hell was happening here?
“Jarrett?”

He stood up next to the bed, naked and not showing any signs of caring. “Hell, I don’t know.”

That made two of them. But his reaction, the signs she could not piece together as shock and hurt, had her stammering. “We should—”

“Why are we talking about this when it’s not even a real thing?”

“Because we’re grown-ups and when grown-ups have sex, as often as we do, this topic needs to come up and get handled.” Her voice stayed calm. She even managed to sound reasonable. Inside, her nerves jangled and twisted, but she maintained calm on the outside. Somehow.

His eyes narrowed. “Are you pregnant?”

“No.” She didn’t think so. They’d stumbled and came close to messing up here, but they’d otherwise been careful. She had no reason to believe the birth control failed and didn’t fear that issue despite the conversation.

“You’re sure?”

Not the more he talked about it
. “We’ve come close to skipping the condom more than once. In light of that I’m trying to be realistic about where we go from here.”

“But you’d keep my baby.”

She blew out a long breath and stood up. They faced each other across the big bed. She didn’t bother reaching for a sheet or covering up because he’d seen and touched everything. She wasn’t ashamed of her body and he sure didn’t have a problem showing his off.

“Yes, Jarrett. Standing here, right now, I say I would.”

“Okay.” He made the word last for three syllables.

Not exactly the response she wanted, but then she didn’t know what either of them should say or believe right now.

“Now, before we start picking out names for our not-real baby, maybe we could—” When he turned and walked into the closet, she just stood there. Then the second wave of anger smashed into her. His house or not, walking away amounted to throwing down the gauntlet and asking for a fight. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Out for a second.” He pulled on a pair of dress pants.

“Uh, now?”

Next came the shirt off the floor. He slipped it on and started buttoning. “Definitely.”

It was as if the man didn’t know she was a trained assassin. “We didn’t settle this.”

“I understand your position.”

He was really begging for a kick. “Is this some weird male fear-of-commitment thing? If so, I gotta tell you it’s kind of cliché. It also makes me want to punch you.”

His head stayed down but he peeked up at her. “It’s not.”

“Then?”

He nodded to her. “I’ll be back.”

Before she could step in front of the door or shove him back on the bed, he was gone. Good thing the building had a camera system. She planned to watch the weasel. Right now, he was safer anywhere but in the room with her.

•   •   •

Jarrett’s head still spun from the conversation upstairs. One second he could laugh it off as ridiculous. The next it took hold and he had to fight off the need to run around doing stupid things, like letting her know how much the conversation meant to him.

Right now, all flustered and half out of breath from his race downstairs, he had all the confidence of a sixteen-year-old sneaking his first package of condoms out of the drugstore. Standing across the bar from Wade, seeing the stunned expression on his friend and manager’s face after he asked a simple question, almost sent Jarrett running back to the angry woman upstairs.

He wasn’t one to wallow in confusion. He acted and made practical decisions. Right now he wanted to jump in a car and forget all about the security measures he’d put in place. His mind had turned to mush and he’d be damned if he could figure out how to clean up the mess.

Then he remembered the coldness in Becca’s eyes and the way she scanned the room looking for a weapon right before he left. She had that woman-scorned thing down, and when she thought he was throwing her and their nonexistent child out the door, she went all mama bear on him.

He’d take his chances with Wade.

The friend in question looked two seconds from shedding his own skin. Wade slowly lowered the glass he was cleaning. “What did you just say?”

“You heard me.”

“You want me to get the car?”

“I need to go out.” It was his damn car, after all.

Clearly unimpressed with a request from the boss, Wade’s eyes narrowed. “Is that a great idea? I mean, have you even left the building since Becca got here?”

“The club doesn’t open for hours.” Jarrett sat down on the barstool. Yeah, sitting would be good.

He looked around. The female attendants hadn’t started filing in yet. He could hear the low rumble of voices from the other room and assumed the kitchen staff had begun work on dinner.

“Natalie threatened you, giving you three days before . . . I don’t know, something terrible. She basically insinuated that stepping outside would get you shot or arrested on a new set of trumped-up charges.” Wade rested his palms against the bar’s edge. “Or did I get confused about that part?”

“She won’t see us.”

Wade leaned in closer. “Us?”

“I’m taking Becca.” And why did he sound like a little kid who got caught doing something bad. Jarrett hated that. He owned the place. He was in charge.

But, damn, this was uncomfortable. He wasn’t the type to drag personal matters into the business and that’s all he’d done since meeting Becca.

Wade’s mouth dropped open before he talked again. “I don’t get it.”

That made two of them. The words and plans shot through his brain, and he said them before thinking. “You bring the car around through the garage, we get in. Maybe we have someone here drive a second car as a decoy.”

“Do you hear yourself?”

He was trying not to think or hear or reason. “I want to leave for a few minutes.”

Wade closed his eyes for a second. “So, this is a death wish of some sort.”

“Just a car ride. I’m not looking for death.”

“With the woman who once set you up—both of us—to be arrested.” He smacked his hands against the bar as he said each word. “The same one you’ve kept trapped upstairs.”

“She’s not a prisoner.” If anyone was stuck and unraveling, it was him.

She had him thinking things he shouldn’t think and wanting things he couldn’t have. He’d held back some leverage from the CIA, information people there wanted, to make sure he didn’t become expendable. He purposely hadn’t asked questions of what became of the Spectrum agents or who set him up. He thought he knew and that he’d been the sucker. Now nothing seemed clear except his need to keep Becca close.

“She hasn’t left the condo in, what, ten days? Hasn’t even seen sunlight, as far as I know,” Wade said.

“For her own protection.”

At least that’s the excuse Jarrett ran through his mind. She came to him. He set the terms and she took them, and he would not feel anything but satisfaction about how the last few days rolled out. He was not a man accustomed to guilt and he pushed it away now.

Wade exhaled in the way that signaled an oncoming lecture. He reached under the bar and pulled up a water bottle. Sat it on the edge right next to Jarrett.

“Okay, I give up.” Wade grabbed a second bottle and twisted off the lid. “What am I missing here?”

“She needs to run an errand.”

He nodded before taking a drink. “I’ll do it. Give me a list or whatever.”

“That would be interesting.”

“Meaning?”

That almost made Jarrett laugh. “You can’t really handle this one.”

“Jarrett, for God’s sake. This is the most annoying game of twenty questions ever.”

“She needs to see a doctor.” He yelled the answer, then leaned in and lowered his voice. “Is that okay with you?”

“Did she get hurt?” Wade snapped his fingers. “Trying to climb out the window, right? That was Eli’s prediction. I keep waiting to see her rappel down the side of the building.”

Jarrett ignored that because if he spent two seconds thinking about Wade and Elijah discussing his sex life, they’d be the ones going out the window. “No.”

“Give me a hint.”

Fine, he wanted all the information, then Jarrett would give it to him. Maybe after that his friend would shut the hell up and find the fucking keys. “Birth control.”