Menopause to Matrimony (Fortytude Series Book 2) (11 page)

EIGHTEEN

The next evening, I’ve just hung up the phone when Kiran comes home from work.

“Who was that?” he asks.

Pulling on my ear, I hesitate to answer. “Gretchen…”

He sighs heavily and shakes his head.

“What?” I ask innocently, patting the spot beside me on the couch for him to join me. “I just thought it would be nice if she and I had lunch. I like her.”

Giving me a half smile, he says, “You don’t think you have enough going on without this added complication?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. We’re just having a friendly lunch next week.”

He leans an elbow on the back of the couch, then touches one of the buttons on my blouse. “If you say so, but just know that my mother tried the same thing years ago, and as you can see, nothing came of it.”

This is different. One, Seth is older now. And two, I could tell by his reaction yesterday that he holds Gretchen in high esteem. “We’re just having lunch. No biggie.”

“Uh huh… So, are you all ready to get this thing done tomorrow?” He’s referring to my ablation that’s scheduled in the morning.

“Way past ready.” Leaning my head on his shoulder, I prop my feet on the coffee table. “I just want my life back.”

“Well, my schedule’s all clear for tomorrow so I can be at your beck and call.”

“Thank you, but hopefully I won’t be in bad enough shape to need you at my beck and call.” I smush his cheeks in my hand before giving him a kiss. “But I’ll enjoy having you on standby so I can look at this gorgeous face.”

He squeezes my knee. “Mother wants to know if you’d like her to be at the hospital during the procedure.”

Hmm, I wasn’t really expecting that. “That’s not necessary. It’s just a little outpatient thing. Nothing to make a big deal out of.” Although secretly, I am kind of anxious about it. Occasionally, I’ve had to push thoughts of perforated bowels and uteri (is that a word?) out of my head.

“Let me rephrase then. She would like to be there.”

Bemused, I smile. “Why?”

“If your parents still lived here, would they be there?”

Thinking about it for a moment, I tilt my head from side to side. “Most likely…” Then I nod. “Yeah, they would be there. They’re worrywarts that way.”

“There you have it. You’re a daughter to her, and she’d like to be there.”

Not only does her concern touch my heart, but it also makes me realize how much I miss having my parents here since they retired and moved to San Diego, even though I don’t allow myself to think about it too much. My nose and eyes immediately begin to burn. “Ah, shit! Here it comes.” I wave a hand in front of my face like a beauty queen, and the tears spill out.

Kiran can’t contain his amusement and laughs at me. “What are we going to do with you? You are a mess!”

“Right?!”

***

The following morning, I’m lying on my side in a pre-op bed, waiting to go in for my procedure, and Kiran sits beside me, holding my hand. Wearing hospital gown and slippers, with my IV fluids already administered, it seems like I’m pretty much good to go.

“Well, this is it. About to get the lining of my hoo-ha burned out. Yay!” I add with fake enthusiasm.

Kiran touches his forehead and makes a face. “You and your colorful choice of words.”

“You’re right. That’s not exactly an accurate statement. My uterus isn’t really my hoo-ha.”

He pushes my hair away from my face. “Are you nervous?”

They must have put something in my IV to sedate me, because I’m suddenly very relaxed. “I’m a little scared about the epidural. Carly’s delivery was a piece of cake, but when I had Hayden, it took the anesthesiologist seven tries to get the needle in my back.”

For a brief moment, Kiran wears the strangest expression. Almost sad, but… not. Wistful? I can’t pinpoint it. The impression is fleeting, then he says firmly, “I can assure you, I’ll make them get another anesthesiologist before that happens.”

I’m not sure if I’m conscious for the epidural or not, because his statement is the last thing I remember before waking to learn that all went well. My uterus and bowel are perforation-free.

***

Upon arriving home, I’m a bit crampy, but otherwise feeling pretty decent. True to his nature, Kiran is attentive and sweet, frequently asking if there’s anything I need. He brings me chai tea, makes sure that my laptop, Kindle, and TV remote are all within reach, and provides me with a heating pad for any belly discomfort.

I gaze at him as he keeps me company watching TV in our bed, and it’s times like these I marvel at how completely blessed I am that he came into my life. It makes me want to cry. Although, these days it seems everything makes me want to cry, including the fact that I can’t seem to shake this feeling that he’s sad, and I’m sensing it especially strong today. It’s nothing that he does or says in particular, but it’s still there.

I wonder if paranoia is also a symptom of perimenopause.

He chuckles about something on
The Big Bang Theory
and then notices me staring at him. “What is it, beautiful?”

I shrug and smile. “Nothing. I’m just a lucky girl, is all. However, I’m getting a little depressed at the realization we won’t be having sex for a month.”

“I’m not thrilled about it, either.” He grins. “You’re going to be in for it when that month is up, though.”

After taking calls from my parents and the kids and having a short nap, Geena shows up late in the afternoon, offering to make dinner for me, Kiran, and Seth. I am up and around with only some minor discomfort—nothing a little Advil can’t handle—but don’t want to deal with the three of them feeling like they have to hover.

“Why don’t the two of you go out and have a nice dinner?” I suggest to Kiran and Seth. “And Geena and I can stay in and order something.” It’s time to admit I’m in need of a little motherly companionship, and Kiran has been giving off the vibe he could use some male bonding with his cousin. What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall, though.

Kiran runs a hand through his hair. “Are you sure?”

“Yep.” I wrap my arms around one of Geena’s. “We’ll have some girl time and you go have some boy time.”

Seth quietly looks back and forth between us, waiting on his decision.

“Looks like we’re getting the boot, my friend,” Kiran says.

“All right then!” Seth pats him on the back as they head for the door.

Once the guys are gone, Geena says, “Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to cook you something instead?”

“As much as I love your cooking, I want you to relax,” I say, leading her to the kitchen.

“I don’t mind!”

“I know you don’t. What do you want to drink?”

She leans on the counter. “Whatever wine you have on hand will do.”

After locating a bottle, I pour her a glass and get some iced water for myself. Then I pull up the usual pizza place online using my phone.

“You’re not going to join me?” Geena says before rolling her eyes. “Stupid me! You’re taking pain medication.”

“Even if I weren’t, I had way too much the other night when Seth brought a date over and made us dinner. Don’t think I’ll be drinking again for a while.”

Who am I kidding?

“A date? Do tell! What was she like?” She accepts the glass of wine from me and we move to the living room.

At least Geena appreciates my news about Seth’s interest in Gretchen and approves of my upcoming lunch with her. Then again, that’s not surprising given that Geena played a very important role in uniting me and Kiran. Whether or not it was intentional, I’ll never know. She was aware I was with David when Kiran and I met after all those years, but I always had the suspicion that she had a hand in gently nudging us together.

In my defense, wanting to do the same for Seth and Gretchen isn’t the only reason I’d like to meet with her. I genuinely like Gretchen, and I kind of got the impression she could use a friend her own age who’s been through the whole divorce thing. She made a comment that her close friends are still married, and I imagine she’s going through a rough time after ending a twenty-five-year relationship.

“Not to change the subject or anything, but I never got the chance to tell you how much it meant for you to be at the hospital today. I wasn’t expecting that—it was such a minor surgery.”

Geena lifts her chin, straightening her posture. “It doesn’t matter. Things can still go wrong during the smallest of procedures. Not that I was expecting anything to go wrong. But, you know what I’m saying…” Her expression softens and she reaches out to touch my arm. “Besides, you’ve become like my own.”

I press my lips together and swallow. “Thank you.”

“And you make Kiran so happy, which naturally, makes me happy.”

“I don’t know, Geena. He doesn’t seem very happy lately.” I set my iced water on the end table beside me.

She tilts her head to the side.

I don’t want to come right out and say he admitted being depressed. That will only create a concerned and hovering Geena that makes Kiran crazy. Besides, I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate me blabbing something he claims will pass.

“Has he said something like that?”

Promptly shaking my head, I attempt to wave off my remark. “I think we’re just both going through some middle-age blues. I’m probably making a big deal out of nothing.”

Her shoulders relax and she responds with a sympathetic smile. “Sweetheart, we all go through it. I’ve told you what I was like. You two will get through it, too.”

“…Yeah.”

“Besides, if you’re starting to have the moodiness I experienced, a lot of this may just be in your head. Although, I’m not sure that’s much consolation.” She giggles and takes a sip from her glass.

“Well, one thing I know that’s
not
in my head is what’s going on with Claire. I’m worried sick about all of them. Luke tells me Carly and Jason are fighting, and now whenever I talk to her, she’s constantly bringing up this guy she knows from school who grew up with a brother with Asperger’s, which apparently makes him the resident expert, in her eyes.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Geena fingers the silver chain around her throat. “What are they fighting about?”

The doorbell rings with our pizza and I rise to pay the delivery man. Geena then follows me to the kitchen where I set the box on the table.

“Anyway, they fight about Claire,” I continue. “He thinks they should be doing one thing, and she thinks they should be doing the other. It just sounds like a huge mess. I’ve been slowly cutting back my hours at the clinic because after seeing a couple of Claire’s recent outbursts, they’re going to need some help.”

“Uhh! The poor thing.” Geena goes to the pantry to get napkins and paper plates and brings them to the table. “And poor you. No wonder Kiran said you’re overburdened.”

“I’m not, really. Just worried, that’s all. Wishing I could fix it.”

We sit across from one another and each take a slice of cheese pizza. Not having eaten anything since last night, I take an eager bite and immediately burn my mouth. “Gah!” Gaping, I turn my head to spare Geena the view and wave a hand in front of my face.

She sets her slice back down. “I believe I’ll let mine cool for another minute or so.”

“Ohhhhh, wise decision. I’ll be saying goodbye to the first couple layers of the roof of my mouth.”

As I take a sip of my water and let it sit to ease the pain, Geena gets up to pour herself a second glass of wine. “Anna, I don’t want to be pushy, but it sounds like you’re under a bit of stress. Unfortunately, I don’t know what I can do to help with Claire, but it would make me so happy to help you plan the wedding ceremony.”

With a sense of relief, I swallow my water. I’ve been dying to ask for her help, but didn’t know how to bring it up. As of late, my mental capacity and motivation to plan this wedding are lacking. That sounds terrible, like I don’t want to get married. That’s not it at all. And it’s not like I’d rather opt for a no-nonsense city hall thing, because there’s nothing I’d like more than to have a lovely, memorable ceremony with family and friends. It’s just that my focus has been for shit.

“I can do as much or as little as you like,” she adds, holding up a hand. “And I promise I’ll try not to take over.”

“God, I love you!”

She lets out a huge breath. Apparently, she was nervous about my reaction to her offer.

“This is going to be so much fun.” Her eyes sparkle with excitement as she returns to the table. “What did you have in mind?”

***

After discussing wedding plans for a bit, I’m feeling much more optimistic about things coming together, however I can’t resist the urge to turn the conversation back to Kiran.

“So… can I ask you… I don’t know… kind of an irrelevant question about Kiran?”

“Irrelevant?” She busies herself putting the leftover pizza into a ziplock bag.

“Geena, I can get that. Have a seat.”

“No, go ahead and finish eating.”

I’m always the slowest eater out of everyone I know, and the last one at the table. “Well, I guess the question’s irrelevant because of mine and Kiran’s age,” I explain. “And other factors.”