Authors: Susan Crosby
Melina hesitated, then said, “You know, I've heard from a whole lot of people that you should take a little time for yourself when a relationship ends. Time to heal.”
“I'm not looking for serious. Just someone to hang out with.”
Well, Rafe's looking for serious, Melina thought. He's ready to get married and start a family. So it wasn't really fair of June toâ
She stopped the thought cold. Rafe was a big boy. He could take care of himself, make up his mind just fine on his own.
She searched the field for him, spotted him hunkered down in front of Elliot, talking to him, Elliot nodding back. Maybe Rafe
had
agreed to help because of her, as he'd said, but he was fully invested in the outcome now, and their common cause would keep them tied together for the two months of baseball season, so there was no hope of breaking all contact.
I want him. Need him. Love him.
The words hammered her brain. She couldn't bear for Juneâor anyone elseâto have him. She couldn't give up. Now that she knew the truth about what had kept them apart, now that they'd both grown up and knew their
own minds better, it could be so different for them. Not sex only, but the whole deal.
She watched him running beside Elliot, encouraging him. What a wonderful father he would makeâ
What if she took a different tack altogether? What if instead of trying to avoid him, she put herself squarely in front of him at every opportunity? What if she acted as if nothing had happened between them? What if she became superfriend? Dazzle him with confusion.
She felt laughter bubble inside her. She wouldn't mind seeing him confused by an all-out assault of happiness.
She took a quick look at June, who had suddenly become the competition. Melina was up for a little competition, needed some, actually. Her life had be come static, going nowhere. She went to work each day, then met Rafe secretly at night. What had that resulted in? Great sex? Sure. What else?
Not much. But they hadn't given it a chance, either, beyond her bedroom.
So before she gave up altogether, she needed to give it one last shotâon her own terms.
With a little luck, he would never know what hit him. She'd given up on him before. He deserved to know she didn't want to give up now. He could make up his mind from there.
She laughed then, feeling good, feeling free of
all the pressures of the past weeks. She'd already survived losing him once. She could do it again, if she had to.
But this time she planned to win.
F
ive days later, Melina and her mother were slicing tomatoes and onions for the hamburgers that her father was grilling on the patio. It was Elliot's last day of training in her family's backyard, and they were feeding thirteen peopleâeveryone who'd been helping form a practice team.
However, this day was different from the rest. It was all for fun. Melina knew that Rafe's goal was to get Elliot to loosen up, to laugh, deciding that would help him more in the long run.
Melina hoped so. Tomorrow would be the final team practice, when Beau would make his decision, and the next day, his first game, if he passed muster.
“You look happy,” Patsy Lawrence said to her daughter.
“I am happy, Mom,” Melina answered. She'd barely stopped smiling for days. Rafe was utterly confused. Melina loved it. “Elliot's in the home stretch, Gramps passed his driver's test, Q and I both have full caseloads. Life's good.”
“You didn't mention Rafe.” Patsy pulled a head of lettuce apart and rinsed the leaves. “Is he part of your happiness quotient?”
“He's the unknown-X factor.”
Patsy eyed her. “That's the first time you haven't denied there was something between you.”
“Because hope triumphs over reality.”
Her mother seemed to let that sink in. “So, you want something to happen, but it's not happening?”
“Yet.”
Patsy laid a hand on Melina's arm. “Haven't you been hurt enough?”
“Things are different this time, Mom.” She had already decided not to tell her parents what Gramps had done. That was then, and this is now. “There's really no one else for me but Rafe.”
“Of course there is, honey. There are a lot of people in this big world we can love.”
“Rafe's my mate. For life.”
“Does he know that? Does he feel the same?”
“Deep inside, yes.” She just had to mine down that far. Drill past the barriers. “But don't worry. I'm not being patient. I'm going for it. It's now or never.”
She would've made more progress by now, too, except that he'd left town for the weekend. She'd had a moment's ridiculous worry that he'd gone away with June, then she'd seen June at the grocery store. Melina hadn't really believed he would jump into a situation like that right away, anyway, but sometimes the heart asked questions instead of the head. The point was, she was determined not to live with regrets for not trying.
“You're
chasing
him?” Patsy asked, sounding appalled.
“I seem to remember a story you told me once about how you had to chase Dad to catch him. And don't you dare say that was different. The approach may be different, and the particular circumstances, but the goal is the same. I want to marry him. I want children with him.” Every time she drove by the old Crockett building they'd decided years ago to buy, she wanted a life with him even more. It was a small building but it loomed large to her for what it represented.
And at Angie's wedding reception, he'd wondered why it hadn't been demolished by now.
Maybe ten years had passed, and maybe they'd both changed, sought different career paths, but they were at their cores the same people with the same values. They both worked hard, cared about others, wanted a family of their own. Even if old buildings didn't mean the same thing to both of them.
Melina heard her mother sigh.
“What can I do to help?” Patsy asked.
Smiling, Melina hugged her. “Try to keep Dad calm when I openly flirt with Rafe.”
“Oh, sure. Give me the easy job.”
Melina laughed.
“Ready out here!” her father called from the porch.
“You ready in there?”
“Tell everyone to come wash up!” Patsy called back.
As people cleaned up and were walking back outside, they were given something to carry. Two picnic tables and a few extra chairs were enough to hold everyoneâall of Melina's family, Rafe's and Elliot's. Elliot's mother had made cupcakes decorated to look like baseballs. Lemonade flowed, as did conversation and laughter.
Melina carried her plate to where Rafe sat with his brothers and father and took the empty seat next to him, bumping shoulders as she settled in.
“Mind if I sit here?” she asked Rafe, after the fact, smiling at his family then at him.
He subtly maneuvered his body away from hers enough not to touch. “Make yourself at home.”
The dry way he said it made her laugh. When she made eye contact with Marcos, he grinned, too.
“Food's good,” she said, digging into her potato salad.
“I haven't been to a family barbecue in a long time,” Marcos said. “As good as the food at Red
tastes, nothing beats a homemade burger. So, how was the trip to Ann Arbor?” he asked Rafe.
“Productive.”
He'd gone to Michigan? Was that what June had been talking about? Did he take a “usual trip” to Ann Arbor? Was there a womanâ
“I'm closing up my office there,” he added. “I can fly up occasionally, if necessary, but there's little I can't do by phone and email. Teleconferencing is easy these days, even with video. Saves us all time and money.”
Melina let the conversation drift around her, piecing together the facts. Apparently, before he'd moved home, he'd promised three companies in Ann Arbor he would spend a week every month in town. It was easy to figure out that he hadn't gone north for a week this month because of his commitment to Elliot, one that would continue for two more months.
He hadn't said a word about it, hadn't even hinted at it. He'd accepted Beau's rules, knowing he wouldn't be able to meet his other obligations, the ones that paid him.
After dinner, Rafe's brother Javier played guitar and sang, joined by Melina's grandfather. They sang old cowboy songs, bringing back childhood memories for Melina, who still sat next to Rafe.
“There's room over here with us,” her father said, patting an empty spot on the bench next to him.
“I'm good, thanks,” Melina said. Her mother whispered in his ear. He frowned, looked at Melina then
Rafe and frowned a little more, but he didn't repeat the offer the rest of the night.
Rafe's back was to her as they listened to the music. She ached to lean against him, to slip her arms around him. Instead she just leaned close enough that her breath would dust his neck when she spoke. “They're really good together, Gramps and Javier. Who would've guessed it?”
He looked over his shoulder. “Good thing you and I aren't singing.”
She laughed. Neither of them could carry a tune.
It seemed like an easy summer evening, yet it was late March and a school night for Elliot. His parents took him home under protest, then the others started drifting away, too. Kitchen cleanup went fast. Melina expected Rafe to have left by the time she was done with the dishes, but he still sat in the backyard with his father.
“I'd forgotten how nice these family events are,” his father said. “Elena always planned our parties. I miss them.”
“I'll get a barbecue up and running soon, Dad,” Rafe said.
“Thank you. You are a good son, Rafe. A good man.”
A moment of silence followed as Rafe reached for his father's hand and squeezed. Melina felt like an intruder into their private moment, but then his father stood.
“Well, this old man needs his sleep. Good night.” He made his way across the yard to the driveway and disappeared.
Rafe and Melina were alone. She wondered why her father wasn't hovering, then decided her mother was probably making him stay inside.
“This was nice,” he said.
“Yes.”
“You seem to be doing okay, Melina.”
She smiled. “I am.” She decided not to ask if he was okay, too, but to let him tell her what he wanted to. She'd found a storehouse of patience within her determination to have him again. “So, tomorrow we find out if Beau will allow Elliot to play,” she said. She rested her arm on the table, her hand an inch from his. She could almost feel him. Almost.
“I'm not worried about it,” he said, looking at their hands then back at her.
“Do you think Beau's going to let him play?” she asked.
“I do.”
“I know Elliot's come a long way, but he still has a lot of trouble in the field.” She felt Rafe's fingertips brush hersâor had they? It might have been wishful thinking on her part. “His catching has improved, but he can't throw the ball in far or straight.”
“He needs more practice, that's all.” He moved back a little. “June came to see me.”
Her hopeful mood made a U-turn. “Oh?”
“She wanted me to represent her in her divorce.”
“Oh, really?” Melina couldn't keep the sarcasm out of her voice. So
that
was how June was playing it? Everyone knew Rafe didn't do family law. “Are you going to?”
“No. Not my specialty, although that hasn't stopped some other people from seeking me out lately. Like you.”
Melina couldn't get a handle on him. Was he trying to entice her with elusive touches, or was that a diversion while he talked to her about another woman?
“Technically,
Angie
did that,” Melina said, starting to cross her arms, then remembering her goal was to win him back. “I never would have.”
“Things have a way of working out. It was an interesting conversation with June, however. Apparently she has your blessing to ask me out.”
Well, howâ¦blatant of the woman. “All I did was tell her no, that we weren't together.”
“Do you think I'd be interested in a woman newly separated from her husband, Melina? A man I consider a friend, by the way.”
“Did you hear what I just said? I only answered her question. No, we aren't together.” She made her self seem unperturbed by the conversation. She even smiled. “I think you and I have both learned the hard way that honesty's the best policy, and all that.”
“Plus, you knew I wouldn't be interested in June.”
Which wasn't entirely true. “No, I didn't. I don't
know what kind of woman you go for these days. Other than for sex, that is.”
She waited for several long seconds for him to respond, but all he did was stand. “I should get going.”
She walked with him, grabbing her purse from the back stairs where she'd left it. Her car was in the driveway. His was at the curb. They stopped next to her driver's door.
“You're up to something,” he said.
“I am?” Her smile widened.
“The Cheshire-cat grin doesn't fool me. I know you too well.”
If he knew her that well, he would know she'd fallen in love with him again. He would know that her heart and future were in his hands. “I'm just being myself.”
He stared into her eyes, murmured good-night, then walked away, hardly making a sound.
She felt instantly lonely.
And just a little bit more hopeful than she had this morning.
Â
Rafe hurled his mitt into his trunk, slammed the lid shut then climbed into his car, all the while watching Melina back out of the driveway then take off down the road. He could almost hear her whistling happily as she went.
He'd had a hell of a week.
First had been his decision to step back from
Melina, then his threat to take Beau to court if he didn't leave Elliot on the team. Then June had put the moves on him, leaving him in the awkward position of turning her down when she was most vulnerable. And then he'd had to ask for a weekend meeting with his Michigan clients to tell them he wouldn't be as available as he'd been. To top it all off, his flight home had been delayed for six hours, so he'd barely had any sleep last night.
And now Melina was changing right before his eyes. She was way tooâ¦happy. Like the Melina he used to know, not the one he'd met since he came back. Apparently, ending their relationship was a good thing for her.
He wanted her more than ever.
Rafe had to drive by her house on the way to his. He could see her taillights ahead of him and slowed to a crawl as she parked and walked toward her courtyard, turning at the last minute, staring in his direction, lifting a hand in a tentative wave.
He took off, angry at himself. What would she think? That he was stalking her?
He was too tired. Too confused. Too much in demand. He needed to slow his pace, his goal when he'd first come home. He needed to make some life decisions, too.
Rafe headed for his shower as soon as he got home. He stood under the spray, his hands pressed to the wall, water pounding his neck and shouldersâ¦missing her.
He'd been missing the Melina he'd seen tonight, the bright, infectious woman he'd fallen in love with. That Melina hadn't made many appearances the past few weeks. Sexy, yes. Dedicated, yes. But the woman who'd loved life and lived it so joyously had been AWOL sinceâ¦
Since Ann Arbor, ten years ago.
He had noticed she wasn't happy when they'd started college, but he'd chalked it up to being homesick, to the pressures of college courses. He hadn't looked deeper than that because he hadn't wanted to. He'd been having fun. His world had expanded in immeasurable ways. Hers had narrowed.
He hadn't paid attention.
Tonight she'd been the girl who'd graduated from high school with him, fun and flirtatious, but now also independent. That was what was different. She'd been dependent on him at college, for companionship, for studying together, for social connectionsâtotally unlike the Melina of high school.
And now? Now she was like that Melina, but more. So much more. Since they'd started their secret relationship he hadn't been looking at the big picture, but pieces of it. Sex had blurred the lines too much.
Rafe turned off the shower, dried off, then dragged himself to bed, the lost sleep from the previous night catching up.
But as he lay in bed he realized something critical had happened tonightâhis doubts about the future had dimmed. He'd needed forward momentum,
something to drive him, instead of just spinning his wheels.