Memory's Wake Omnibus: The Complete Illustrated YA Fantasy Series (66 page)

Memory remembered the time he meant about her, when she’d saved him from a bad fight with some bullies. “I didn't really save your life, you know. I probably just saved a few baby teeth.”

Will shrugged. “Either way, from then on, I was yours.”

Memory blushed so hard all over she felt ready to self-combust. The recollection of that day was so clear to Memory now. She hadn’t thought anything of the kid back then. Being honest with herself, she wasn’t sure if she’d stepped in to help Will or just because she wanted to get into a fight. When she’d chased the bullies off, young Will had looked up at her with those startling blue eyes, wide and grateful, like she was a hero. He really did think she’d saved his life, and even at that age he had these romantic and childish notions of repaying that debt. He became her shadow. He had been hers, from that moment on.

Memory looked at Will now, grown and having lived and suffered through so much. She didn’t know how she could ever repay Will, or live up to that. Maybe the only way was to become the hero he saw in her.

“Do you remember when Mr. Hindmarsh came out and found us together after the fight, after the others had run off?” Memory had a chuckle in her voice as she spoke. “He totally thought I was the one that whaled on you. When you denied it, he thought you were just embarrassed about getting thrashed by a girl.”

Will smiled and dropped his head bashfully. “You saved me, and got detention for it.” Looking up at her, his eyes searched her face. “You really have it back? All your memories?”

Memory tapped the side of her head. “Every last one. It’s massively screwed up. It’s not like just remembering a life normally. It’s like I just watched my whole life again on fast forward. I can even remember being a baby in hospital, recovering from the cut on my chest from the ritual. So vividly. I can remember… All sorts of things.” Memory put a hand to her chest, running her thumb over the ugly bumps of the old scar. “But I’m whole now. I feel like all of me again, the good and the bad. The only thing I need to do now is keep adding good into my life to balance the contents out a bit.”

“I hope I can help add to the good,” Will said.

“You already have.”

The way Will smiled then filled Memory with happiness even more.

The entrance door opened and Clara walked in, balancing a silver tray full of food.

Clara placed the tray down on a table in the living room, and the sound of jostling plates piled in hamburgers woke Roen and Eloryn. Memory didn’t ever remember discussing breakfast burgers with the chef, but there they were, neat little buns with bacon and eggs and a thick, chunky ketchup. She wondered whether it was the chef or Clara who’d been experimenting. Memory’s hunger returned and she smiled at Clara gratefully.

Memory threw her legs out of bed, and caught a foot on the covers as she tried to stand up. Before she could wobble or fall, Will caught her wrist to balance her.

He let go quickly. “Sorry.”

Memory reached out and squeezed his hand. “It’s okay. Don’t worry, it’s all about breaking rules these days. Those rules were Hope’s rules, anyway. Consider them gone.”

Taking quick stock of her appearance, Memory realized she was still in her old broken heart t-shirt and long skirt she’d changed into the day before. It felt like so long ago. She knew she probably stank, and was still covered in any dust that didn’t rub off in bed, but she needed to talk things out with her friends and didn’t want to take time out for a bath first. She also wanted to eat. Now.

She wandered into the living room. “Thanks for reading my mind, Clara.”

“Well, I know it’s well into the afternoon, but I thought you would all be in need of some comforting breakfast foods,” Clara said, with a neat curtsey. She’d been somewhat more proper and formal since their ordeal, and Memory worried she’d offended her somehow. “I’ve also seen to re-assigning the queen’s guard from Eloryn to yourself. Erec and his finest men are already outside.”

Memory groaned and rolled her eyes in a wide dramatic loop. “You of all people should know I don’t want guards trailing around behind me all the time.”

Clara raised her chin, looking more at the ceiling than at Memory. “You will simply have to tolerate it as best you can, Majesty. Who knows what threats there are to you out there? Dylan is still unaccounted for. That Hope creature is who knows what or where. We can’t have you wandering around unprotected. We can’t have you—”

Clara’s voice broke, and she turned away, but not fast enough to hide the tear on her cheek.

Memory dashed across the room and drew Clara into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry. You’re right. I’ll keep the guard. I won’t let anything happen to me, okay?”

Clara sniffled. “You’d better not.”

Roen stood up and stretched. “Indeed. I, for one, expect a written apology, and perhaps some form of ritualistic dance of penance.”

Eloryn smirked at him from her chair then addressed Memory seriously. “You did give us all a fright. We only want for you to be happy and well. And to know you can talk to us, if you need to, about anything.”

Memory tried to think of something absurd to talk to Eloryn about then and there, but knew it wasn’t the time to be flippant. She paused a moment, gathering together how she really felt, right then in time, how she felt about what she’d almost done, and how she felt about the future.

“There’s still a lot of pain inside me,” she said. “Enough that I know it’s going at be hard at times to keep going. But I’m not planning on doing anything rash. I know now that I’m whole. I’m not missing my memories. I’m not missing any part of my soul. This is me. It’s all I have to work with and for the first time in my life I want to work. I have so much in my life now to be grateful for. When I first got my old life back, I forgot all the good in my new life. It’s my turn now to work hard and be better.”

Memory looked around at all her friends. The pride she saw so clearly from them was everything she needed to stay strong. “So, let’s eat already!”

Memory picked up a burger and handed it to Will before taking one for herself. She took a seat on the floor between Eloryn and Roen’s armchairs. Clara began tidying the room, which was still in disarray after the fight between Will and Dylan, and Memory’s magical tremors. Memory scolded Clara until she came and joined the picnic on the floor. They each chewed their food silently for a while, until a thought that had been plaguing Memory had to be voiced.

“Lory, is the Maellan family cursed at all? Have there ever been any mentions of a curse?” she asked.

“Not that I’ve heard of or read in my studies. Why?”

“It’s just that I’ve seen our family tree, and it seems to me that all Maellan die young. A lot of them before they even have children, which is why we’re pretty much the last of them, right? I mean, isn’t that a bit weird?”

“It’s true. I know some of the deaths have seemed suspicious, but there’s never been evidence to prove more than simple ill-fate, I’m afraid. It’s been that way since Arthur’s time, maybe even before, but since Arthur was a commoner there is no record of our family tree before him.”

“But what if there was something, or someone, out there, taking out some wicked huge grudge on all Maellan?”

“Only a fae could live long enough to be the sole cause. Which I admit isn’t unlikely. There were many fae who were in opposition to the Pact, especially in opposition to Arthur when he pushed to include Branding into the agreement.”

Memory nodded, her theories confirmed. “Providence. Providence was a fae, and I also think Providence was Hope. It was like everything she told me, everything she encouraged me to do was to punish me. She told me to be with Roen, which almost ruined our friendships. It was like she knew Dylan was using me and encouraged it to happen. She told me all the time that everyone hated me, and did everything she could to prove it.”

Eloryn reached out for Memory’s hand. “She was just trying to separate us, drive you against us so you had nothing left but her.”

Memory took her twin’s hand. “I think it was more than that. She wanted things from me, wanted me to do things, horrible things. She…” Memory winced at her sister, but it had to be said. Everyone had to know the full story. “She wanted me to kill you so I could become queen.”

“Queen, like you are now?” Roen asked. “Is that going to be a problem?”

“I don’t know. Maybe she just wanted to screw with my life as much as possible. Maybe she’s been doing it to all Maellan all this time.”

“Providence’s magic, and Hope’s magic, is a very old form of magic,” Eloryn said. “All fae have natural traits that seem like magic- their glamour, strength, and travelling through the Veil. But they don’t have behests like humans do. Only a few fae have learned human magic. Nyneve is most famous for it, having learned the runes from Myrddin, who was her lover. But she’s gone on to teach other unseelie fae.”

“Like her father? If anyone was capable of this kind of cruelty, I’d put money on him. He’s got them crazy eyes.” Memory wriggled her eyebrows and jiggled her eyelids. “Nyneve has always seemed pretty tame to me. A bit emo, but I can’t exactly talk.”

“Working out what Providence wanted is the key.” Roen finished his burger and leaned forward in his chair. “She may have used Maellan blood in her rituals, but it was Thayl she wanted something from.”

Memory shook her head. “Yes and no. Whatever she wanted from Thayl, she wanted it bad. Their deal was that she would help him kill all the Wizards’ Council, and then he would somehow repay his debt to her. But he never got his side of the bargain while there were members of the Council still alive, so she never got what she wanted in return. I think she was still trying to help him get rid of the last of the wizards. Remember those banshees in the wagon? They said they were hunting for wizards for their master, and the Council said that other unseelie fae were also hunting for them.”

Memory stared down at the woven rug she sat on, seeing a small spray of blood there from Will and Dylan’s fight. She shivered. “Hope first showed up right after Thayl died. She kept pushing me to become queen through any means possible. Kept saying she would help me if I owed her. That’s what makes me think Hope and Providence are the same. The one thing they both were pushing for was to get a human ruler, with iron magic, into their debt. Providence needed Thayl for something but when he died she turned to me as a backup. Whether or not that has anything to do with all Maellan or not is unknown, but I can’t help feeling it does. It’s a crazy idea, but I just keep going back to it like it’s a bad boyfriend.”

Clara had turned white. “The more powerful fae can glamour themselves to look however they wish, so Providence could be anyone.”

“Do we think she’ll try again?” Roen asked. “In a different form, or maybe a different target?”

“No idea,” Memory said. “I’m just a hunter lost in the wilds of speculation. But we have some leads. Some creepy, gangly fae attacked Dylan and me out in town one night. It was one of the ones stealing people, and it sounded like he was connected to Providence. I’ve already got Peirs keeping a watch out for any more of them.”

Will frowned, and Memory wasn’t sure if it was at the mention of her being attacked, or of her being out with Dylan. “I could ask Mina. Fairies gossip,” he said, simply.

Memory nodded reluctantly and got to her feet. “Any lead is worth looking into. There may be fairy intel that could help that humans aren’t hearing. And speaking of our fluttery friends, I want all of us to start carrying iron, just in case.”

“We can’t,” Eloryn said. “Even if we had your knife, that’s all the iron there is.”

“Oh, dear sister, have I got a surprise for you.” Memory reached down and helped Eloryn up. “We’ve got somewhere to go. I want my knife back, especially now I can’t use magic. I want it for protection and don’t care what anyone thinks.”

Roen stood quickly as well. “Mem, you still look tired. How about I take Eloryn? I know the way.”

Memory pouted, wanting to give Eloryn the big reveal herself, but even the idea of walking all the way down into the cavernous depths and back left her feeling exhausted. “Fine. I absolutely trust you are doing this to let me rest and not to take my sister off into a dark and isolated area.”

Roen just shrugged. “It appears that my deception skills are getting sloppy through misuse.”

Eloryn blushed from head to toe.

In the old servant runs, Roen smirked as he pushed a section of stone wall and it swung open to reveal a long tunnel, winding off into the darkness.

Cool air that tasted of mossy stone met Eloryn’s tongue as she caught her breath. She thought she knew everything there was to know about Caermaellan castle. She was clearly mistaken. “I can’t believe you and Memory kept this secret from me. This is of tremendous historical and societal importance. We should have been trying to discover where all the iron down there originated.”

Roen shrugged, causing a lock of caramel brown hair to fall in front of his eyes. He pushed it away. “I bade Memory tell you. I think she was too worried about Hayes taking control of it at the time.”

Eloryn sighed. “I suppose she was right there. What a fool I was.”

Roen put his hand against Eloryn’s cheek. “Do not think that. You are trusting and kind in the most beautiful way. If others misuse that, it is their offence, not yours.”

Eloryn shivered as Roen turned away and lit the oil lamp he carried.

Roen had retrieved a lamp from his room while he explained to Eloryn where they were going. She understood why the lamp was required. She wouldn’t be able to summon a wisp with a behest around so much iron. The living energy of the fae creature would refuse the behest. But she could still magically enhance the flame of the oil lamp, and they travelled down the ancient stone stairs in brightly lit comfort. Dripping water in the distance kept a steady rhythm and the temperature dropped as they descended. The carved tunnel was narrow and steps slippery from a slick coating of mud, and Eloryn kept bumping against Roen as he walked beside her. The warmth of his body seemed contagious, and whenever she felt it, a flush of warmth spread through her as well. Roen slowed to help her down a steep section where a step had crumbled away and she brushed against him with half her body.

Roen let out a breathy groan. “Are you trying to drive me crazy on purpose?”

His tone was playful, but Eloryn could only blush and shake her head. “I’m sorry.”

Roen frowned. “Don’t be. I’m sorry. It’s not proper for me to voice my desires so. It’s just… to have you so near, knowing you feel for me how I do for you, it’s all I can do not to take you and hold you and do all sorts of delicious things with you.” Roen bit his bottom lip and his smile returned.

Eloryn didn’t think she could blush any harder, but she did. Her body turned to fire just wondering what delicious things Roen could mean. She didn’t know what they were, but she knew she wanted them, and wanted him. She also couldn’t help but wonder whether there had been other women in the past that he’d done such things with.

“You know I’ve never…” Eloryn began, but choked up. When her words returned, they came at rambling speed. “My first kiss was yours, and I know little else of love apart from the simple romance in fairytales and one archaic text book on anatomy and reproduction. I fear that love may be an area in which you are more knowledgeable than I.”

“Whatever experiences I’ve had, they weren’t of love. You are my first experience of love.” Roen took both her hands in one of his, and the warm light of the lamp he held beside them seemed to make them glow. “I don’t expect you to act at all outside of your comfort, or of society’s standards. I would never think to pressure you further. I simply want you to understand how desirable I find you. How strong, and brave, and kind you are.”

Eloryn wanted Roen to kiss her then. She wanted it with every nerve in her body. But he only stood and looked at her with an expression that filled her with love. He was being so patient, so gentle with her. She knew he would wait for her as long as needed, and it was up to her to take the next step.

Her voice seemed very small when she asked, “May I try something?”

Roen tilted his head, confused, but nodded.

Pushing herself up on her tippy-toes, Eloryn very slowly placed her lips against Roen’s, a soft brush against his skin. Her eyelids fluttered and she lowered herself back down, smiling widely. Light headed with emotions and pride, her foot slipped on the step and she wobbled backwards.

Roen caught her around the waist with one arm and the lamp clattered against the wall beside them. They gasped together, as though the movement had sucked the air from both their bodies, and time slowed as the sound of the lamp hitting stone echoed through the stairwell.

Then Eloryn brought her mouth to Roen’s again, her fingers running up his neck. His arm tightened around her, bringing her chest toward his, pressing them together. Their footing slipped again and they stumbled together down the stairs, ricocheting from one wall to the other, trying to stay on their feet, tangled in each other’s arms, unwilling to let go. Eloryn’s lips burned delightfully every time they met Roen’s. Her hands sought his golden hair, his shoulders and muscles on his chest. Desire left her head spinning and when the stairs finally flattened onto a pebbly floor she felt just as dizzy. The two remained entwined, stumbling, gasping, until the both of them tumbled into the icy water of the underground lake.

Will had waited while Memory cleaned herself up and changed into the rust-red gown she often wore, the first dress he’d ever seen her wear. When she returned, she put her head down on a cushion on the floor beside him. She said she’d just rest her eyes for a moment while they waited for Roen and Eloryn, then promptly fell asleep. Clara cleared up the food and left, and Will remained sitting beside Memory.

A strand of her purple hair fell across her face and Will reached over to push it back behind her ear, then hesitated.

First rule - No touching.

He took a deep breath, then allowed his fingers to meet her flesh. The old rules were no more. Her skin was soft and warm as he brushed the hair off her cheek. His Hope had changed so much, and he knew shedding the old rules meant she had grown so much stronger. He was happy for her, but there were other rules he still lived by that left a deep sadness in him.

Memory said it was time to start breaking rules, and he agreed. No matter his situation with the fae, Memory was more important. He would no longer sneak in what time he could with her. He would outright defy Mina if he had to. Only, he didn’t know how effective that would be. Denying Mina something only made her want it more. He considered keeping away from her amongst the iron in the secret cavern, but he wanted to be with Memory, not hiding underground. And he couldn’t explain to Memory either. Not now, not yet. Memory had enough to deal with right now. And despite how he felt about his relationship to Mina, he still felt an obligation toward her. She had saved his life.

When he first arrived in Avall as a small boy, Will didn’t know how long it had been before he first met Mina. He only knew he was starving to death and lost in an endless forest. He’d eaten berries despite knowing they could be poisonous. He’d even eaten grubs and insects he found, desperate for any sustenance. But it wasn’t enough. He’d never been a strong child and he quickly grew weak, too weak to keep going. He had curled up on the leafy forest floor, unable to do anything but cling to the last scraps of life.

When Mina first appeared, he thought he had died and Mina was an angel. She was so beautiful his face ran with tears and his weak body crumpled at the sight.

“Little boy,” she said, and the jingle of tiny bells seemed to carry after her words. “Are you hungry?”

Will tried to speak but couldn’t. He barely managed to nod.

The beautiful creature reached out her cupped hands and a plump and luscious fruit appeared cradled there. Shaped like a pear and twice as large, it was a soft pink with a purple blush on one side. “Take it,” she said, smiling.

He did without hesitation, biting in. Juice ran down his chin and strength, hunger and desire burst inside him. He tore into the fruit, consuming the whole thing in seconds. When he was done, the woman held another one for him, and giggled.

“My sweet pet,” she sang, and twirled around him, dancing as he ate. She had delicate, tattered wings which trailed a stream of glittery light behind them.

Will ate and ate. Mina sang and smiled. He thought he’d received a miracle. He thought he was saved. He had no idea what had just happened. His life had become the property of the fairy before him.

“My little boy. Who saved you when you were too lost and hungry to survive?”

“You did,” he said, grinning a juicy grin at his savior.

“Who will show you wonders greater than you could ever imagine?”

Will knew of fairies and magic from storybooks. He knew now what the woman before him was. “You.”

“Who is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?”

“You are.” He knew it was true.

“Who do you love above all else, even your short mortal life?”

He hesitated, and Mina scowled. A deep fear of realization and regret filled him then. He was so far from home, so far from anything he knew, so far from the only family he had left, the one girl he would wait for forever. He would do whatever he had to do to stay alive and stay strong while he waited.

“You. I will love you.”

The fairy smiled again, and Will swore a promise to himself that no matter what wonders he was shown, no matter where this creature took him, he would never forget Hope.

Beside him, Memory shuddered in her sleep and her eyes snapped open. Back in the group home she often had nightmares. She would always deny it, but Will knew it from the haunted look in her eyes. He had his own nightmares, of being trapped under rubble, so he knew that look well. He wondered which of many terrors tormented her dreams then. But when she looked up at him, she smiled. He smiled back down at her.

Roen and Eloryn returned then, looking as wet as they looked embarrassed.

“You two miss a step?” Memory said. She sat up, leaning against Will’s shoulder.

Roen looked at Eloryn and chuckled. Eloryn looked mortified and excused herself to change into a dry gown in her room next door.

Memory grinned at Will. “Cough-cold-shower-cough.”

Roen sat down and emptied his pockets onto the ground between the three of them. He handed Memory her flick knife and took a small dagger for himself as well.

“We tried to pick small things that we can always carry with us, concealed. El already has the arrowhead with her,” he said. That left two items, a small hooked tool and a large button, one for Will and one for Clara.

Will shook his head. “I can’t take one. Not if I’m trying to get info from Mina.”

“I’ll keep it for you for later.” Memory nodded and picked up the hooked tool, slipping it into her bodice with her knife.