Memory: Volume 3, How Far We Have Come, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice) (90 page)

“So do I.”  Lydia said softly.  “It makes me want to stay, too.”

“No!”  All four of her sisters said in unison. 

“NO!”  Rosalie crowed and ran from the room.  They looked after her and laughed. 

“I said that I wanted to stay, not that I would.”  She put her hands on her hips and stared around at them.  “Honestly, I
have
learned something at school!”

“Well that is good to know.”  Elizabeth studied her, “And what have you learned?”

“That the reason I am there is to make me suitable to marry and that it is all about securing my future.”

“Well that is sobering, but true.”  Mary said softly. 

“Please know that if something happens to Papa, we will look after you and Kitty.  And I suppose that Mama will live here.”  Elizabeth heard Jane sigh and gave her a hand a squeeze before sitting on the newly-laid oak floor.  Rosalie immediately climbed onto her lap.  Mother and daughter sat together and considered Lydia.  “I am glad that you understand the purpose of your schooling.”

“Oh I know it is all about marriage!”  She smiled and closed her eyes.  “I want a handsome man  . . .”

“In a red coat!”  The sisters laughed.

“No.”  Lydia sniffed.  “I want a gentleman.  He does not have to be high, but I do want a gentleman.”

“What happened to an officer?”  Kitty demanded.  “That was all you ever talked about!”

“That was all Mama talked about, so that is who I thought I wanted.”  Lydia joined Elizabeth on the floor.  “I want a nice man who comes home every night and . . . and talks to me and his children and . . .”  She started to cry and they all came around to hug her.  “I am sorry.”

“No, do not apologize.”  Jane blinked back her tears.

“We understand.”  Kitty wiped her eyes and hugged her.  “We just never talked about it.”

“We all felt this way?”  Mary stared around at her sisters.

Elizabeth let go and hugged Rosalie tightly.  “I swore I would marry a man who I could respect and love, and I swore that my babies would never want for our care.” 

“Mama!”  Rosalie squealed and the five women startled and sat back.  “ow.”  She frowned.

“I am sorry dear.  Perhaps I was caring too much.”  Elizabeth smiled and kissed her.  Rosalie studied her face and patting her wet cheek, kissed it.  “I love you, too.”  Settling her back in her lap, she leaned against the wall.  “I guess that we all missed out on something with our parents, one way or another.”  She looked from one silent sister to another.  “I do not know when we will all be together like this again, not all five of us.”  Again hearing nothing she nodded.  “Well, let me say this, each of us had different experiences at Longbourn, and it was not all good, and it was not all bad, but for better or worse, our collective past and the memory of our life there is what will influence our futures.  Jane and Mary have found wonderful husbands, and you surely know my opinion of Fitzwilliam . . .”

“A blind man knows your opinion of Fitzwilliam, Lizzy!”  Lydia wiped her eyes and laughed along with the rest of them, breaking the tension of the moment.  “I mean, the way you two are always staring at each other!  I saw him talking with the men last night, but he was just
staring
at you . . .”

“Enough, Lydia!” 

“And they are always kissing, too.”  Kitty nudged her foot.  “Most unseemly!”

“First driving, now Fitzwilliam . . .” Elizabeth muttered.

“Should I mention Robert spotting you two on Oakham Mount a few weeks ago?”  Jane laughed and Elizabeth’s eyes grew wide. 

“What were they doing?”  Lydia demanded.

“Was it scandalous?”  Kitty asked eagerly.

Elizabeth shook her head to silently implore Jane who smiled and said diplomatically, “They were drinking wine, I think.” 

Mary snorted and they all turned to her.  “Excuse me.”

“Well.”  Elizabeth regained her composure.  “My point is that we have made excellent matches, and that they have helped us to recover from our past.  You two have the same opportunity, and should take your experiences from childhood and make sure that they are not repeated when you choose your husband and when you raise your children.”  She crossed her arms over Rosalie.  “And that is all I have to say about that.” 

“Yes, Lizzy.”  Kitty and Lydia giggled.  Elizabeth sighed.

“Just do not be in a hurry to marry.  Kitty, you are wise to want to take your time.  It is not so easy to marry young.  I was so fortunate to have an understanding husband and a wonderful family around me.  I would have been lost without them, especially without Lady Matlock and Aunt Gardiner.”

“I was thinking that maybe Aunt would let me come and stay with her when I am older, like she did for you and Jane.”  Lydia said thoughtfully.  “But I am not sure if I can ask her.”

“She does not bite.”  Jane smiled.  “Lizzy, did she say that they would like Lydia to come with them on their trip to the Lake District next summer?”  She nodded.  “Well, there you go, when school is over, you have that to anticipate, and surely they will be staying at Pemberley . . .”

“Yes, I cannot wait to take Aunt all around the park.  I want you to see it Lydia, even though you do not like fancy houses.”

“Thank you, Lizzy.”  She said quietly. 

“I . . .”  Mary began then stopped when they all looked at her.  “You are welcome to visit Rosings, too.”

“I am?  But I thought that the captain did not like me.”

“Well you impressed him a great deal at the assembly and, me as well . . . and the Apostle Paul wrote, ‘I count not myself to have apprehended, but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.’
”
²¹

“What does that mean?”  Lydia sighed.

“Pray you now, forget and forgive.”  Elizabeth murmured and looked up to see Lydia rolling her eyes.  “Shakespeare, King Lear?”
²²

“Two days in a row I have had Shakespeare thrown at me.”  She shook her head and turned to Jane. 

“Lydia, Mary is saying that she and Peter are willing to put the past behind them.  You have made an obvious effort to change, and they appreciate it so much that they would like to have you come to their home.”

“Oh.”  She looked at Mary shyly.  “Why did you not say so?”

“I thought that I did.” 

Elizabeth and Jane exchanged smiles.  “Well, that is something for you two to write about.”

Kitty piped in, “I was thinking that maybe I could go visit Aunt Gardiner, too. If things do not work out here, that is.  I thought that maybe Georgiana could visit on the days when there is no school and . . . I miss her.”

“We all do.”  Elizabeth said sadly and reached up for her hand. 

“Are you with child, Mary?  Captain de Bourgh said so.  Mr. Robinson was asking me what I thought of children since there will be so many new babies in the family, and that is when he talked about you.”  Lydia looked at her eagerly.  “Are you?”

“I am going to strangle him.”  Mary closed her eyes.  “I think that I am.  I just did not want to say anything so soon.  Peter seemed to know before I even did.”

“Fitzwilliam always suspected before I told him.”  Elizabeth smiled.  “They know us better than we know ourselves.  How wonderful it would be for you and Charlotte to be pregnant together!”

“Yes.”  She smiled.  “It would be May or maybe early June, we think, you could not come?” 

“No, our baby would be too young to travel, we learned our lesson with Rosalie.”

“Ours will be old enough, if you would like us to come.  I am sure that Lady Lucas will want to make the trip to be with Charlotte, we could travel together.”  Jane smiled.  “Think about it.”

“I will.”  Mary smiled.  “Thank you.” 

Elizabeth looked around the nearly empty cottage.  “What is left to accomplish, Jane?  The plaster should be dry soon.  Then you can paint and paper.”

“Well obviously we need furniture.”  She laughed and stood from her chair.  “And we need all of the little things, supplies for the kitchen and linens and . . . everything.  Papa said that he has money to give us now that the rents are all collected and the bills are paid, so that will help.  I cannot wait to move in.  Robert will sell his curricle.”

“No!”  Lydia looked out at it.  “It is beautiful!”

“But not sensible, not for a family.”  They watched Rosalie run merrily through the room and disappear.  Within moments they heard a thump and a wail. 

“Rosa!”  Elizabeth struggled to her feet but Lydia and Kitty were there first.  “Oh, what did you do?”

“She was trying to walk up the steps.”  Lydia explained. 

“Rosalie Darcy!”  Elizabeth knelt and said sternly.  “No!  You do not walk on the steps alone!”  Her bottom lip appeared and she started to sniff.  “Sorry dear, that might work on Papa, but it will not work on me.” 

“Mama.”  Rosalie lifted her arms to be picked up. 

“Come here . . .”  Elizabeth took her hand and closed her eyes.  “I am going to regret this.”  Hitching her skirt up, she showed Rosalie her foot and put it on the step.  Rosalie looked at her boot and up to her mother.   “Go on, step up.”

“Up.”  Rosalie copied her. 

Elizabeth stepped up and stood still.  “Come on.” 

“Up.” 

“Lizzy . . .”

“She has to learn, Jane.  Her falling down tells me that she is ready.”  She smiled at Rosalie.  “Good girl.  Up.” 

“UP!”  Rosalie crowed and slowly they made their way to the top.  When they arrived, Elizabeth kissed her and the sisters applauded.  “Whee!” 

“Good girl!  Now, down.  Hold on to the railing, dear.” 

“Dow.”  Rosalie smiled and joined her on the step.  “Dow.  Good gril!”

“Yes!  Very good girl!”  Elizabeth beamed and they slowly descended, reaching the bottom to the applause of her aunts.  “Never ever go alone, Rosa.”

“Mama.”  Rosalie hugged her leg then grabbed her hand.  “Up!”

“Oh dear.”  Elizabeth sighed.  “What have I done?”

“We will teach her!”  Lydia and Kitty offered.  “Mary you stay here and catch her if she falls down.”

“Oh I hope not!”  She laughed and looked at Jane and Elizabeth.  They watched for a while and Jane took Elizabeth’s hand, and they returned to the parlour.  

“Lizzy, I . . .”  She looked down.  “I know that we probably will not see each other for a long time, now that . . .”

“The babies make it difficult.”  They touched each other’s bellies, each feeling a kick and laughing.  Elizabeth took Jane’s hands in hers.  “I am going to miss you so much.”

“I feel like we are back to the way we used to be.  I am so sorry for not being the elder sister I should have been when you needed me.  I am sorry for the lost time . . .”

“Stop it.”  Elizabeth hugged her tightly.  “I am sorry for . . .”

“You never . . .”

“Shhhh.”  They hugged and rocked.  “Remember the past only . . .”

“ . . .as it gives you pleasure.”  Jane whispered through her tears.  “I love you, Lizzy.”

“I love you, Jane.” 

“Spying?”  Lucas laughed when Darcy jumped.  “Sorry.”

“Shh.” 

Looking through the glass, Lucas saw Elizabeth and Jane embraced.  “They are saying goodbye.”  He sighed and leaned back against a tree.  “Jane is miserable about Elizabeth leaving, we returned from the dance and she spent half the night sobbing.  I do not know if it was the emotion or the baby.”

“Both.”  Darcy mirrored his stance, leaning against another tree and folding his arms.  “Elizabeth said it was the first time that her sisters had all been so close.  She cried, too.”  He smiled a little and looked back to the cottage.  “She cries a great deal when she is with child; I imagine that Jane is the same?”

“Yes.”  They exchanged weary smiles and Lucas looked over the house.  “I think that we might be able to move in here in another month.”

“So long?  This has been a beehive of activity lately.”

“I want everything be finished before we live here.  I would still be pulling weeds from the floor if it were not for you and the others coming to help us.  Only now are the tenants finishing with the threshing and ploughing for next season.  I could not have done this alone.  Thank you.”

Darcy nodded and immediately looked back to the house.  “I do not know when we will see you again.”

“Will you come to town at all?”

“I suppose that depends on Bingley coming to the point with Miss Martin.”  He smiled and looked back at Lucas.  “I do not think it will be an extended courtship or engagement, do you?”

“No.  They have known each other for some time, and have anticipated this for too long.”  Lucas laughed.  “I expect I will have them as our neighbours very soon.  So if there is a wedding in the future . . .”

“It depends on how far along Elizabeth is if we will make the journey.  Beyond February and we will decline.  After that, I do not expect to leave Pemberley again, well there is no reason to leave until the spring when Georgiana comes out, is there?”  He smiled.  “Safe at home.  You are welcome at any time.  We will be glad to send you a carriage, just write.  Perhaps you could journey with the Gardiners in August.”

“Perhaps.”  They stood in silence and turned when they heard a horse approaching.  “Mr. Bennet.  Good morning, sir.”

“Good morning.”  He dismounted and tied off his horse.  “How goes the leave-taking?”

“Well, I hear them laughing now, so it is much improved.”  Darcy smiled.  “How is Longbourn?”

“My wife has set off for Meryton on foot to see if my news from the assembly is true.”  Mr. Bennet shrugged and took off his gloves.  “She attempted to remain in her bed this morning and I told her that fits of nerves were no longer tolerated.”  He chuckled when his sons smiled at each other.  “I thought that you would like that.” 

“I certainly do.”  De Bourgh called as he and Bingley rode up.  “I had to see if your wife killed mine with her driving, Darcy.  Mary is a crack driver. She would have taken over if things got out of hand.”

“Elizabeth needs the practice.”  Darcy sighed.  “I think the problem is that she is so small she just does not have the strength to control the horses and her nervousness is sensed by them.”