Memory: Volume 3, How Far We Have Come, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice) (50 page)

“Are you asking me back to London?” Her voice rose, and her excitement was unhidden.

“Are you willing to admit that you treated our son; and our staff poorly?  Are you willing to be more than mother in name only?”  She hesitated.  “Are you with child, Caroline?”

She gasped and her hand went to her chest.  “How do you know?”

“Never mind, I see that it is true.”  He searched her face.  “I understand that you went galloping yesterday.”

“There is nothing else to do . . .”

“And you fell from the ladder in the library the day before.  The
library
Caroline?  You?  In the library?”  His gaze bore into hers.  “Are you attempting to cause a miscarriage?  Is that something you learned in your reading?”  His voice rose.  “Are you so angry about me sending you here that you would take it out on a child?”

“I spent the last year being pregnant!”  She screeched.  “I finally have my figure back, and you send me here!  You got me this way!” 

“I came to you . . .as your husband.  I wanted to express my happiness for our family with my wife.”  He sighed.  “As I recall, you welcomed me.”

“I should have sent you to your mistress.”

“I do not have one.”  He said quietly.  “I have not been with anyone since we became parents.”

“I never cared that you were with anyone else.” 

“I never cared that you were either.”  Robinson spoke evenly and saw her blanch.  “Yes, I knew.  I knew who it was, too.”

“You never said anything.”

“Oh, I said many things, believe me.  I am within my rights to express my anger.  However I took into consideration my personal behaviour and my sure knowledge of your quitting the affair.  You did not start until you were pregnant; I knew that the baby was mine.” Sighing, he walked back across the room.  “There, Caroline, all of our cards are on the table, all of our secrets.  Are you willing to come back to London, be Wallace’s mother, my wife, and start our family and life over again while we wait for this next child to come?”

“Do you love me?”

“About as much as you love me, I suspect.  We are married, Caroline, that is for life.  I am willing to reconcile and build a family with you, as you promised to do when we took our vows.”  Waiting for a response that did not come, he went to the door.  “Well, I am going to change from these clothes, and I will see you at dinner.  I would like an answer by then.”

“You would wish for more children than this one that is coming?”  She asked quietly.

“If you return with me, Caroline, I expect us to maintain a faithful marriage, and to enjoy the fruits of our union.”  Nodding to her, he left the room. 

She watched him go and looked at herself in the mirror, then opened a drawer in her dressing table.  “For restoring the menses.”  Caroline read the label for the hundredth time since the little bottle arrived by special courier from London.  “Well that is what you want, is it not?”  She got up and paced the sitting room.  “Do you really want to bear another brat for him?  Look what having the first one did!  Everything was fine between us, he had his life, I had mine . . . Is it too much to ask that he behave like every other gentleman?  I do not care what Charles reports!  Parents do not go near their children!  That is what servants are for!” 

She became increasingly agitated.  “Did I care about your courtesans?  No!  Did I care about anything you did?  No!  I was exactly what you wanted.  I looked good by your side, I entertained your guests, I gave you your heir, but no, I was to love
him
, too?”  She snorted.  “Why would I love something that made me sick and ugly?  Why would I love something that made me scream in pain for hours?  Why would I love something that demands attention?  You should be giving all of you attention to me!”  Returning to the table, she picked up the bottle.  “Never will I go through that again, do you hear me?”  Opening the bottle she gulped down the liquid, then ripped off the label and taking it to the fireplace, burned it.  “There, it is done.”  She closed her eyes and willed the concoction to work.  “And all will be as it was.” 

“MRS. REYNOLDS.”  Darcy called when he noticed his housekeeper passing the study door. 

“Yes, sir?”  She entered and stood before his desk while he scratched out a note.  Darcy’s pen moved slowly, clearly he was thinking carefully as he wrote.  Holding it out for her, she read it over.  “Marmalade, chocolate . . .” She looked at him quizzically and did not miss the lift to his lips and the twinkle in his eye.  “Sir?”

“Please be sure to have everything on this list available in the larder, Mrs. Reynolds.  For the next eight months or so.” 

“Oh, Mr. Darcy!  How wonderful!”  She cried then sobered.  “Eight months, sir, I do not mean to put a damper on your joy, but . . .”

“No, this time it will go smoothly.  I am positive.”  He spoke determinedly and gripped the arms of his chair.  “All will be as it should.”

She knew enough not to argue again.  “May I tell the staff, sir?”

He hesitated, and then nodded.  “We have not told the girls yet, but you may tell the staff and, well we have experienced Mrs. Darcy during this time before, and we know that she can be a little . . .unpredictable.”  Mrs. Reynolds tried hard not to roll her eyes and his crinkled as his smile grew. 

“We will look out for her sir, discretely.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Reynolds.”  She turned to leave and he noticed a little bounce in her step as she departed.  “Ah, how fast will this news spread, I wonder.  Now that would be a wager Richard would take.”  Rising to his feet, he moved to the window and looked out at the garden where Kitty sat with Mrs. Somers and Georgiana embraced her.  The scent of lavender reached his nose and he looked down to find that Elizabeth had joined him. 

 “I just saw a group of servants whispering in a most suspicious manner and shooting glances at me.  Have you let the cat out of the bag, Mr. Darcy?”

“Me?”  He stood up straight.  “I know nothing of cats.”

“Some say they are sneaky.”

“Some say they are clever.” 

“Well . . .at least they are pleasant to cuddle on a cold winter’s day.”  She stood on her toes and kissed him.  “I have my suspicions.”

Darcy took her hand and drew her close for a longer kiss, then pushed a curl behind her ear.  “Mrs. Somers seems to be making her farewells.”

Elizabeth walked over to his desk to take her accustomed chair.  “I am so sorry that she is leaving, but she knows her heart.” 

Darcy moved behind his desk and took a seat.  “We were fortunate to have her return to us last year when she had been gone from service, that was a favour of loyalty, I know.  I only worry about the impact upon Georgiana; she is devastated with the news.  Mrs. Somers has been part of this household since Georgiana was eight; she is like a mother to her.”  His brow creased and he looked back to Elizabeth.  “Will you talk with her?  I am afraid that she does not understand why Mrs. Somers can no longer fulfil her role as her governess.”

“I already have, dear.  She begged me to speak to you about letting her live on the estate with the retired servants if she needs a home one day.”

“I have a feeling that you have already said yes.”  He smiled and reached for her hand.  “Very well love, whatever you have worked out is fine.  I hope that she realizes that she will have to accept a new companion.  I will not have you overtired running after the girls.  No risks with this pregnancy, love.”  Looking at her seriously, he searched her face.  “Agreed?”

“You will not have to fight me on anything regarding our baby, Will.  I think that we are both putting brave faces on.”

“Shhhh.”  He leaned forward to touch her lips.  “I am determined to be completely positive about the baby, about your health, about our family and future.  I will not waste this time of anticipation by worrying, and I pray that you do not either.”  Seeing her nod, Darcy smiled.  “But when you do have a moment of fear, please, do not hesitate to come to me.  We hid too much last time.”

“We were protecting each other.” 

“Well, this time we will do that by being open with each other.”

“Do you have any fears yet?”  Elizabeth smiled when he laughed.  “You said to be open.”

“I did.”  Darcy sat back but kept his hold on her hand.  “No dearest, nothing yet.  So, since we have no worries over our baby, let us talk about our sisters.  What shall we do for a new companion?  Any ideas?  Perhaps Aunt Helen can recommend . . . ”

A letter appeared from Elizabeth’s bodice and was placed before him. Chuckling, he picked it up with his free hand.  “Mrs. Annesley?”

“Yes.”  Elizabeth watched him reading her qualifications and the recommendation from her previous employer.  “She seems to be a good choice.  Mr. Evans brought me her name.”

“That is certainly a trustworthy source.  She is in need of the position.”  He looked up to see Elizabeth watching him expectantly.  “Why do I sense that this conversation is merely a formality?” 

“Because it is.”  She stood up to hug him.  “I am letting you think that you are in charge.”

Darcy laughed and setting down the letter, scooped her up onto his lap.  “I gave over the staff to your care years ago, love.”

“Yes, but this is not a chambermaid.  I trust Mr. Evans; he would not recommend anyone unworthy.”

“No, no, I believe that.”  Darcy kissed her and rested his cheek on her head.  “Very well, love.  Bring her in, let Bernard and Matthews have at her, interview her yourself, and if you feel that you need me, I will be happy to give her my blessing.  I trust your judgement.”

“Except when riding or driving.” 

“Obviously.”  He peeked around to see her pursed lips.  “Are you still angry with me?”

“I wish you had told me.”

Slipping his hands around her waist, he let them rest over her belly.  “I did tell you.  I told you not to ride alone.  I said that the first day and you promised me . . .”

“I know.  I just wanted to make you proud of me.”  She shrugged when he shook his head and sighed.  “Silly, I know.” 

“No.  Believe it or not, I understand.  I do not like it, and do not want it repeated until you are truly proficient, but I understand.”  He rubbed over her belly and leaned down to whisper.  “You and I are going to have to have some long talks about your mama.”

Elizabeth started laughing and he looked up with a smile.  “What is it?”

“I already warned him that you would be confiding your deepest thoughts with him.”

“You did?”  He stared at her in surprise.  “Really?”

Elizabeth took his face in her hands. “It is a good thing that we are having another baby, I am afraid that Rosa’s increasing vocabulary just might prove fatal in your desire to keep secrets from me.” 

“So we will just have to have another baby every two years?”  His brows rose and she groaned.  “Fourteen children?”

“Please, no!”  Elizabeth begged and he laughed.  Her eyes narrowed.  “All girls!”

“Please, no!!”  Darcy held up his hands in surrender.  She kissed him and he laughed as she curled up and rested her head on his shoulder.  “Ah, I remember these naps.”  He closed his eyes and hugged her.  “We need to tell the girls our news.”

“Mmm.” 

“Lizzy?”  Darcy opened his eyes to see her fast asleep, and closed them again.  “All boys.” 

Chapter 16

  “S
ir?”

      Robinson blinked open his eyes to see his valet hovering nervously over him.  “What is it, Trevor?”

      “Mrs. Robinson, sir.  She is quite ill.”

“Worse than last night?  She complained of nausea that kept her from dinner.”  He sat up in his bed and spoke tiredly.  His disappointment with her avoidance was great.  “What is the problem?”

“Sir, she is doubled with pain.  Mrs. Moore has sent for the doctor, she presumed you would agree and did not wish to lose time.”

“A doctor?  Is there one to be had in this area?”   Concerned, he rose from the bed.  The valet handed him his robe, and he walked to the door that separated the bedchambers.  Even before he opened it, he heard Caroline’s low moan.  Inside he found his wife curled in a ball.  Robinson drew in a sharp breath and quickly walked to her bed.  Her maid moved away to make room for him and he sat on the edge.  “Caroline.”  He stroked the damp hair from her flushed face as she moaned again.  “What has happened?”

“Harris.”  She croaked.

“Shhh.”  Robinson urged her and looked to the maid.  “When did this begin?”

“She was feeling sick just before dinner, sir, and then during the night she rang for me.  It became worse as time passed.”  Leaning forward she whispered, “Mrs. Moore thought it might be a miscarriage, but she has never seen an early one be so violently painful.”

“Mandy.”  Mrs. Moore appeared in the doorway and she jumped.  “Go and gather the cloths for Mrs. Robinson.” 

“Yes, Mrs. Moore.”  She left the room and the housekeeper approached the master.  “I am sorry sir, she spoke out of turn.”

Robinson had taken Caroline’s hand in his and was rubbing it.  “A miscarriage, are you sure?”

“I believe so, sir.”  She said stiffly, not wishing to explain her suspicions to him. 

Watching her, he spoke slowly.  “I did not witness my wife’s laying in, but I remember that it was very painful and difficult for her.”

“Delivering a fully formed baby is a different business from a miscarriage, sir; it should not be this bad.  That is why I took the liberty of summoning the doctor.  He should be here soon, he is not far away.”  Caroline moaned and Robinson turned his attention back to her.  “I am afraid there is nothing to be done but let nature have its way, sir.” 

“I understand; I will sit with her until the doctor comes.”  He glanced at the woman and could see that she was keeping something from him.  “Then we will talk.”

“Yes, sir.”  Mrs. Moore left the room and closed the door, leaving the couple alone.  Caroline gasped and clutched her stomach.

“Shhhh, it will be fine.  It will be fine.”  Robinson patted her hand.  “Women lose babies every day and come out right as a trivet at the end.”  He closed his eyes for a moment.  “We will go home to London and Wallace will come back to us.  We will start over.  Everything will be well again, you will see.”