Memoirs Of An Invisible Man (19 page)

His lips separated as if he were about to speak and then came together again. His eyes narrowed and he stared off reflectively in the direction of the other men. Morrissey was hauling Tyler up out of the pit, while Clellan was pushing from below. They got him up over the edge. He rolled over on his side and drew up his legs. I would have liked to know how he was.

When Jenkins began again, he spoke softly and with a new intensity, I thought. Although I always find it difficult to know what, if anything, is in his heart.

“Harvey, I think you are right. I agree with you. And I want to tell you that if someone had to be caught in that building, I’m glad it turned out to be someone like you. I admire you, Harvey, and I think we’re going to work well together. Now, the first step,” he said briskly, as if he were casually mentioning an incidental detail, “is to get you properly looked at so we can see how we can best proceed—”

“David, I think that would be a terrible mistake. If we’re going to work together, my whole value lies in no one’s knowing about me. Otherwise, they can defend against me, or at least they’ll know where they stand. The main thing is to make sure that no one knows but you — not even the people you work with. If you start calling in doctors and scientists, we’ll lose this whole opportunity.
Everyone
will know about me. And on top of that, you and I will lose control of the situation. Someone else will be deciding where I go and what I do. It seems to me that what we have to do now is to arrange for me to slip out through the fence without anyone at all knowing.”

“Harvey, I think you’ll be surprised at the extent to which we can keep this situation secret — and by the amount of control we can maintain over it too—”

“David, we couldn’t possibly maintain enough security for our purposes. And as for keeping control over the situation, I’m concerned that I would have none whatever, and while I don’t have any doubts about being able to count on you, David, I think it would help us establish a relationship of mutual trust if I were able to leave freely, entirely on my own. I’m ready to put myself in your hands: you can work out the details of how I get out unnoticed. Perhaps you could have a section of the fence removed for repairs. But when you make it possible for me to get out, that will be a kind of a seal on our bargain, a show of good faith. Which we’ll need if we’re to work together.”

“Harvey, I want you to try to understand. You need medical help very, very urgently, and even if, for the moment, you don’t realize that you need that help, I still have an obligation to see that you get it. You’ve been through quite a lot, Harvey, and you have to understand that you may not be in any condition to make these judgments for yourself, so that I have a responsibility to decide what is best for you, even if you don’t see that it’s for the best. Furthermore, Harvey, you have to understand that I don’t have the right to let you leave here on your own. If something should go wrong, if something should happen to you or you should have a change of heart, I would be responsible. You’ve suddenly become very important, not just to yourself but to all your fellow citizens — to all humanity. Some very important decisions have to be made about what is best for you and who should have access to you and what you should be doing, and those decisions have to be made by qualified people with your interest and everyone else’s interest at heart. We have to keep control of this situation, for your sake, and for everyone’s sake, and I think you can understand that.”

“Well, I’ll tell you,” I said, trying to keep the edge from my voice, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to go on making these decisions for myself — for the time being, anyway. It’s just force of habit, really: I’m used to doing it. And one thing I’ve already decided pretty definitely is that I have no interest whatever in becoming a laboratory animal. I’ve thought about it quite a lot, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t lead anywhere. No real future in it at all. It’s just not right for me. Some people would probably love it, but I’d get tired of it right away. Also I’m uninterested in being a side show freak. I wouldn’t exhibit well.”

“Harvey, I sympathize with the way you feel.” He shook his head earnestly. “You just have to understand that our main concern here is to help you.”

“Well, if you really wanted to help me, you might begin by helping with the security at the gate. It all seems a little excessive, really — I mean the barbed wire and the automatic weapons and so forth. Unfriendly, if you want to know.”

“Harvey, that’s not directed against you, or anyone else. It’s just standard procedure.”

“You mean you have a standard procedure for this situation already?”

“It’s really for your protection,” he went on.

“If you’re concerned with protecting me,” I insisted, “you have only to say a restraining word to the guards, and I’ll be on my way. I really want to work with you in the future, and, as I see it, you and my fellow citizens and my fellow man and so on will all benefit enormously. All I ask is your help with the barbed wire and the guards and all the other provisions that you’ve laid on here for my protection.”

“This has been an extraordinary ordeal for you, Harvey, but I think you can understand that you can’t just walk away from here unsupervised.”

“I really don’t see why not. It seems like a perfectly reasonable and natural thing to do. Furthermore, it’s something I’m legally entitled to do. Wouldn’t you say?”

“Well, not necessarily, Harvey.” His tone became even more carefully patient and reasonable as the words became more threatening. “You have to understand that, entirely aside from the very substantial issue of national security, there has been extensive damage to private, and probably public, property here. And much more seriously, at least two people have lost their lives. These occurrences apparently resulted from the illegal possession and use of explosive substances in connection with a violent demonstration by a radical political group. Another man has been shot today, and we don’t know yet how serious his condition is.

“At the very least, both local and federal authorities would be under a clear obligation to detain and question you. I think you can appreciate that, Harvey. Now, whether beyond that there would be criminal charges, I can’t say. I think I could be of real help to you there. Whatever has transpired yesterday and today — and we may never be able to determine with complete certainty what actually has transpired — I think that, given what you’ve gone through already and the positive attitude you’ve shown in your conversation with me, even if there are some problems arising out of your actions, things could be worked out reasonably, with some understanding on all sides. But it is crucial that we handle this well from the outset, so that the whole affair presents itself in the right light. I think I’m in a position to reassure you—”

At the mention of my shooting Tyler, I had turned to see what was happening to him. All three men were out of the pit now. Clellan and Morrissey had loaded Tyler onto a stretcher and were carrying him across the lawn toward the medical van.

“Do you know how Tyler is?” I asked.

The Colonel without hesitation pulled his headset from his jacket pocket and put it on.

“Clellan, can you give me a report on Tyler’s condition? I’m talking to the man who shot him now… That’s right. He’s here with me now… No. He’s extremely concerned about Tyler’s condition.”

The two men halted in the middle of the lawn, turning their heads toward us. Then Tyler, lying on the stretcher between them, turned his head too. The three of them stared at us without moving. Then Clellan spoke several sentences into his microphone, and the Colonel pulled off his headset and addressed me again.

“They can’t say at this point. As far as they can tell, you shot him once in the thigh just above the knee and once in the abdomen. The bullet exited without touching the spine, but they have no way of knowing whether the bowel or any vital organ has been punctured. Would you like to speak to Tyler yourself?” He extended the headset toward me.

I made no reply. After a moment the Colonel held the headset in front of his mouth and spoke. “Morrissey, you drive Tyler to the gate. Then get back and help Clellan in the building.” He pocketed the headset again.

“Are you still there?” he asked.

“I’m here. But I’m leaving now, with or without your help. It’s up to you. But I have a gun pointed, as best I can tell, directly at your head. If you don’t arrange to have the fence opened up, I’m going to shoot you. Just as I shot Tyler.”

Jenkins did not flinch or show any fear or emotion.

“You can do that,” he said calmly. “I don’t think you will, but you may. But you should understand that it won’t help you get past the fence. In fact, it will probably make it more difficult. And it will make things more difficult for you subsequently, no matter what happens.”

Pointless. This was all pointless.

“David, of course I’m not going to shoot you. I only hoped that I might be able to get you to do what I think you really ought to be doing anyway. But if you really don’t want to work with me on the basis I proposed, then I’ll have to leave on my own. As soon as possible, I should think, before you do any more work on that fence.”

“Well, Harvey, I can’t stop you from doing that if you want to,” he said very patiently. “But I’m horrified at the thought of your trying to get past that fence. You couldn’t possibly succeed; it would be tragic. I hope you won’t try it.”

“That’s a risk we’ll both have to take, apparently. But I should think it would be a pretty big black mark against you to have destroyed me pointlessly. I am a unique specimen.”

“It would not be counted as a success, it’s true. On the other hand, it wouldn’t be thought of as worse than permitting you to go off on your own. And although I don’t like to think of it in these terms, I suppose that your body would have some value to mankind. Whereas, if you went off on your own, you might die a hundred yards from here and never be found.”

“That would be a pity.”

“Well, as a matter of fact, I think it would. But anyway, what would you do if you did get past the fence? Where would you go? How could you hope to survive on your own in this condition? Where would you live? What would you eat? You don’t even know what you require to survive. And if you did know, what could you do about it? Could you take a bus or a train? I’m not sure you could even walk down a street safely. Before you attempt anything foolish, I’d like you to give some real thought to these things.”

“If I encounter any insoluble problems, I’ll be back in touch with you.”

“Harvey, I just want you to understand that I’m not threatening you. I’m only explaining to you what we’re under an obligation to accomplish here. By the end of the day we will have completed an initial survey of the building and its contents, and we’ll have it sealed off. By then we’ll be ready to blanket the entire area with a gas that will render you and anyone else without a gas mask unconscious. We will sweep the entire area within the perimeter fencing, inch by inch. I want to stress that we’re doing this above all for your sake, Harvey. At that point, I’m afraid, you will either have given yourself up or you will have been apprehended. But if you somehow did manage to get past the fence, we would of course come after you.”

“How could you hope to track me down once I was out of here? I’m standing right in front of you talking to you, and yet even now you wouldn’t be able to get hold of me.”

“Well, Harvey, I suppose in the worst case we could make a public announcement. We would then have every man, woman, and child in the country — in the world — watching for you. But I don’t think that would be necessary. I think you are right that we are ultimately far better off if no one knows about you. We do have some experience in locating people. And in this case we would be in a position to devote very substantial resources to the task.”

“No amount would be enough. And anyway, who would believe in my existence? You and I have become almost offhand about invisibility, but your average, sensible, well-informed person will not want to provide money or moral support or even the time of day for a search for invisible men.”

“Harvey, I want you to look at that building,” he said softly. “It’s remarkable, isn’t it?”

I looked at it. Clellan had found the stairs to the second story and was mounting them, as if he were climbing magically up to the sky. It was indeed remarkable.

“Whoever administers this building administers an unlimited budget. If I walked the right three people from Washington through this building tomorrow, I could have enough funding to locate a hundred of you. And that would be only the beginning of what we could accomplish.”

What he said seemed credible. The building was altogether miraculous. I watched as Clellan seated himself at an invisible desk on the second floor. He glared down at us like some overweight, truculent angel. He knew I was there. His malevolent stare reminded me that I was in increasing danger. I had a great deal to do, and I was wasting my time. Our conversation was at a hopeless impasse: there was no possibility that either of us would persuade the other of anything.

“Look here, David. Everything you say makes sense, and I think we’re really in basic agreement. It would probably be madness to try to get past the fence alone, and I suppose I’ll have to do things your way. But I’d just like to take an hour or two by myself to think things through first. It’s been a difficult day for me. You’ll be around, I suppose?”

“I’ll be right here when you want me, Harvey. You take your time and arrive at your decision freely. But Harvey?”

“Yes?”

“Before you go, I just wanted to ask you what it was like.”

“What what was like?”

“Turning invisible. It must have been horrible for you. Were you conscious the whole time?”

“Unconscious mostly. Until just before you arrived.”

“What in the world did you think when you came to?” He seemed genuinely interested.

“A great many things, most of them quite silly. Although no sillier, I suppose, than what turns out to be the actual state of affairs. I thought I was dead, gone to my reward or whatever.”