Memoirs of a Private Man (22 page)

Read Memoirs of a Private Man Online

Authors: Winston Graham

BOOK: Memoirs of a Private Man
8.67Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

However, a few weeks later the Mitchell-Cleggs came to London, and Sir Duncan had business to attend to, and I had not; so Anoushka and I saw quite a lot of each other after all.

To prepare the way I sent a bouquet of red roses to her at Claridge's. Before filling up the card I asked Monja Danischewsky, the witty film director, how I could put
Welcome
in Russian on this greeting card. He drew himself up to his full five feet six inches and said: ‘In my contry der is no soch vord!'

Don's girlfriend in that eventful weekend was a very pretty and vivacious blonde called Maureen McKenzie. An ex-Wren, she had just got in at the tail end of the war, and was sent out to the Far East, where she met Earl Mountbatten, who took an immediate fancy to her and they developed an intimate friendship. They used to picnic together and for a time, until Lady Mountbatten turned up, were close companions. Maureen says it was platonic, and, since she was a supremely frank person and had nothing to hide, there is no reason to disbelieve her. A North Country girl of good family, she had been a child music prodigy, and at the age of eleven had played Grieg's Piano Concerto at the Free Trade Hall in Manchester. Soon after the war she married and had two children, and when she met Don she was twenty-nine. In order to join Don in Paris she had had to tell her husband that she was visiting her mother in South-port – who had agreed to cover for her. It was intended on both sides just as an exciting weekend and no more, but it quickly developed into a long-standing and serious affair which ended in two divorces, the first marchioness at last having been very reluctantly persuaded to file a petition, and Don and Maureen were married and lived together in Switzerland until his death in 1975.

Maureen could claim the extraordinary record of having a fatherin-law who was born eight years after the Battle of Waterloo. The fifth Marquess lived from 1822 to 1904. The sixth – Don – was born in 1903, when his father was eighty.

One of my most vivid memories of this remarkable sojourn in Paris was of the first dinner I had had at the Ritz – where I first met pretty Maureen – and gnarled Dickie – and beautiful Anoushka.

Chapter Three

The year I was born and the day I was born, at 08.00 hours on the 30th of June, the largest meteorite ever to strike the earth, indeed the greatest cosmic impact of at least the last 2,000 years, landed in Siberia. To quote Dr David Whitehouse, the BBC Online Science Editor:

The impact had a force of 20 million tonnes of TNT, equivalent to 1,000 Hiroshima bombs. It is estimated that 60 million trees were felled over an area of 2,200 square kilometres …

… The first expedition to reach the site was led by Russian scientist L. A. Kullick in 1938. His team was amazed to find so much devastation but no obvious crater.

So began the mystery of Tunguska. What was the object that caused such destruction and why did it leave no crater?

When I read this piece to Gwen Hartfield, my housekeeper, she said: ‘It does bring you down to earth with a bump, doesn't it?'

Naturally I disclaim all responsibility, and I have never been to the site. I rely on hearsay.

I rely on hearsay for everything that has happened in the world before I was born, and the world, as I know it, will end on the day I die. When I become part of ‘the dull, the indiscriminate dust' there is nothing to prove to me that anything will still go on, any more than that anything existed before I opened my eyes and blinked up at my doting parents. Nothing can prove to me that the world and all it appears to contain has an objective reality. I know it has a
subjective
reality but no more. ‘There, sir, I refute it
thus
,' Dr Johnson said, when in an argument with Boswell over Bishop Berkeley's theory of the essential non-existence of matter, as he kicked vigorously at a stone. But what did Dr Johnson refute or disprove – if he ever lived, that is? Only that his foot felt the weight of the stone as it rolled away from him. I burn my finger and I feel the pain. I feel nothing of the horrible pains of a thousand martyrs who have been – it is said – burned at the stake for their beliefs, or disbeliefs. Even among my nearest and dearest there is no transference – can be no transference – of experience. One can feel empathy for someone suffering, but one cannot feel the suffering. We are all
alone
– desperately alone. What are we in this world? A conjunction of subjective impressions making up something that is accepted as reality?

I have long been convinced of the illusory nature of all human experience; but where does it lead me? – To Plato and his parable of the cave? Or is it just back to
Cogito, ergo sum
?

I have always been secretive about my age, therefore there have never been any great celebrations on my reaching any of the evermore-lonely eminences of life. Such secrecy, of course, runs totally counter to modern practice. Every newspaper demands it. ‘39-yearold, old Etonian, ex-Guardsman, former trombonist John Smith- Brown was yesterday charged with …'. Every official form, however trivial, has a space for ‘date of birth'. Any casual acquaintance will suddenly come out with ‘how old are you?'

Reticence over age is very much a family failing, and I can't explain why. I remember when I was twenty being embarrassed that I was so old and preferring not to mention it. I never knew my mother's age or my father's age until just before they died.

But my aunt the violinist carried things a bit far. Taken with acute appendicitis at the age of seventy, she was asked how old she was by the doctor accompanying her in the ambulance to the hospital. ‘ Sixty,' she replied, and ever afterwards her official age was economical of the truth by ten years. Since she had not contributed to a state pension and in those days it was not obligatory, the deception did not deprive her of a pension, for she would have received none anyway.

When she died, aged eighty-five, she left instructions that her age was not to be put on her coffin or on her tombstone.

For a person such as myself, who has achieved a certain notoriety, it is of course much more difficult to keep one's privacy on this matter; but on the whole I have had a certain amount of fun in deceiving people. In
Who
'
s Who
I don't give my birth date, and in four other similar publications around the world I have given different dates, all of them wrong. So what? Does it matter? Who profits but the idly curious?

In
The Black Moon
, when Aunt Agatha lies dying at the age of ninety-eight, her last conscious sensation is of her kitten's fur as it rubs its head against her hand. I wonder what mine will be. I remember my
first
conscious sensation is of my grandfather jokingly putting his specs on my nose and my crying in indignation because the world I looked out on was all prisms. I can't date that precisely but he died when I was two.

My uncle Jack, the one who died at eighty-four, was a newspaper editor who married a lady called Emily Towler. They had a son, who died, and then seven daughters, all good-looking and all of abounding health and vigour. They were called Emmie, Edna, Marjorie, Winifred, Kathleen, Millicent and Dorothea. Em, their mother, put on weight and then more weight and still more weight. She never went out, being embarrassed by her size, but was very extravagant, ordering things through the post, and constantly ran my uncle into debt. I remember going to see her once as a very small boy and being compelled, as it seemed to me, to crawl up a feather bed to kiss her. It must have been almost true, for when the family moved houses it was found she was too stout to get into a taxi, and she had to go in the furniture van.

Thus do music-hall jokes impinge on real life.

Chapter Four

One day during the first year of the war, when I was still waiting for call-up, I went to Truro by train and sat opposite a young RAF officer who told me he was convalescing after a crash. He had a substantial, barely healed scar from temple to lower cheek.

‘We were only on a diversionary op over Abbeville,' he said, ‘and some lucky fool with an ack-ack gun blew half my wing off. Thought I could get home but then the gas started leaking. Ditched near the Isle of Wight, and nobody saw me for a hell of a time. Must admit it was raining.'

While convalescing he had been visiting his parents near Padstow, but he couldn't wait to be operational again.

‘It's a different life. A good crate is a joy to handle. You're in a new dimension. Grounded you're like a beetle. Up aloft you're a bird.'

‘Do you like actual air combat?'

‘When it's over, yes. And the prospect of it. Yes, I suppose I do. With luck it's fighting one to one, and that's a challenge.'

A very tall bony good-looking young man with a high-strung disquiet about him that made a great impression on me. And a depth and darkness that lay behind the frivolity of his air force language. He was not at all nervous, but one guessed that strong nerves contributed to his latent urgent vitality.

At that time a hazy picture of the character who was to become Ross Poldark had already formed, and I was writing about him while his appearance and character still grew.

Some friend told me once that there was an element of Heathcliff in Ross Poldark. A Cornishman, Peter Pool, more perceptively, I think, saw an affinity with Captain Hornblower, at least in his capacity for self-criticism. It's impossible for me to take a detached view of Ross's origin and character. All I know is that the young airman, his general appearance and my perception of his character, provided the basis for what followed.

In the early years of my time in Cornwall I became very friendly with a young chemist called Ridley Polgreen, who died at the grievously early age of thirty-two. When I began to write the first of the Cornish novels, I thought to write about a man called Ross Polgreen – which itself is a rare name in the county; but after a few chapters the name Polgreen seemed a little too floral, a little too gentle. I wanted something a bit more formidable, darker.
Darker
, that was it. And so the name came into being. There never was a Poldark before. Since then various institutions have borrowed the name. There is unfortunately no copyright in titles. Though I suppose use of the name is a form of flattery.

During the filming of
Poldark
Ross's scar was the subject of an occasional joke. One morning everyone arrived on the set, which happened to be out of doors, with a scar on the cheek exactly like Ross's, cast and technicians alike. Shooting began twenty minutes late that morning.

I wish I could be as explicit as that in considering the creation of Demelza. Obviously there have been borrowings, chiefly from my wife. I took her sturdy common sense and judgement, her courage, her earthy ability to go at once to the root of a problem and point the answer; her intense interest and pleasure in small things; and particularly I have used her gamine sense of humour. As for the rest, most of it seemed to come from within. A romantic man's perception of an ideal woman? That was maybe how it began, but I have had no more than parental control over how she has developed.

Sometimes a name is a great help. While the first book was still in its preliminary stages I was driving across Bodmin Moor, and not far from Roche saw a small signpost marked DEMELZA. Until then she had no name; after that she could have had no other.

Warleggan, taken from another village on the moors, was also a help in formulating the characteristics of that clan. Incidentally it was reported to me that one evening in Pratt's Club the doyens of two distinguished Cornish families were heard to be arguing as to which family had provided the model for the Warleggans. Each claimed it. Which is a little surprising considering the character of the family portrayed.

In fact, elements from both families were incorporated, but my interest was chiefly centred on the Lemon family, which dominated Truro at the end of the eighteenth century. F. L. Harris, the historian, said he always thought of the Warleggans as ‘ Bad Lemons'.

Jud Paynter's character I took from three men I knew: Dick Hill, Fred Sampson, and George Murray. From Hill I got the appearance and the drunkenness, from Sampson the apocalyptic indignation and sense of injustice, from Murray the mispronunciations. The latter two were coastguards, and Sampson I have already referred to.

Dick Hill lived with his sister Florrie in a cottage in Tywarnhayle Road. Florrie was the perfect model for Prudie. Lank black hair, powerful voice, ponderous figure, I used to see Dick Hill cycling to the pub every evening and wondered, as the distance from his cottage to the pub was not three hundred yards, why he bothered to cycle there – until I saw him returning home one night and realized he used his cycle to lean on.

Florrie Hill took part in one of the one-act plays I wrote for amateur production at that time, and, in so doing, betrayed some of the extravagances which may have stemmed from the part she played or was hitherto unexpressed from within her own nature.

One day, when the second series of
Poldark
was being filmed, I was sitting on a deckchair watching the scene – this was in Boconnoc, near Lostwithiel. I was approached by a local man, probably in his sixties, bald-headed, two-toothed, battered hat, which he kept taking on and off, corduroy trousers, tattered jacket, and he sat down beside me and started talking. It was Job, I believe, who said, ‘A spirit passed before my face and the hair of my flesh stood up.' My hair wanted to stand up. Here was Jud, conceived by me thirty years ago but now incarnate, sitting beside me in a stable yard in the thin May sunlight. Most of his declamation, which was nonstop, was speaking of events from which he had emerged triumphant. His most-used phrase was not ‘Tedn right, tedn proper' – stemming first from Fred Sampson – but ‘How 'bout that, then? How 'bout that?'

I never saw him again. I sometimes wonder if he ever really existed. Assuming he was real, it came as a reassuring shock to me to discover that the Cornish strain of eccentricity still runs true and that I had not unduly exaggerated it.

Other books

The man who mistook his wife for a hat by Oliver Sacks, Оливер Сакс
Errantry: Strange Stories by Elizabeth Hand
The Stronger Sex by Hans Werner Kettenbach
Whitemantle by Robert Carter
Forever Innocent by Deanna Roy
The Maiden and Her Knight by Margaret Moore
Pieces of Rhys by L. D. Davis
Pumpkin Pie by Jean Ure
Murder on Washington Square by Victoria Thompson