Melting Into You (Due South Book 2) (33 page)

Tough-guy persona aside, Ben would be sh
attered at losing his daughter.

Jade hiccupped and scrubbed her wrist under her nose. “No, that’s the only good thing. Dad’s coming with us. He and Mum are getting married.”

The meaning of the girl’s words disintegrated into empty syllables for a moment, then boomeranged, slamming into her—clawing, shredding, hollowing her out.
Oh, dear God in heaven, no!
Kezia squeezed her eyes shut and her stomach went into free-fall.

Ben knocked on Kezia’s front door, hoping for an anvil to drop out of the sky or a stray lightning bolt to strike him down. Anything to put him out of his misery.

What in the hell was he going to say?

The door swung open, and time stopped ticking past. The kaka perched on the fence ceased squawking, the distant hiss of the sea faded. His tongue glued itself to the roof of his mouth, and he simply stared. Even with a sprinkling of flour in her curls, Kezia was still so goddamned beautiful he wanted nothing more than to snatch her up and hold on. He’d beg to be her teddy bear or chew-toy—whatever she needed. Whatever he had to do to figure things out.

“I called your house. Marci answered.” Her hand resting on the door edge tightened. “I told her Jade was safe here, and she said you were already on your way.”

“Yep.” A rerun of his brilliant conversational skills.

He glanced over his shoulder. The kaka cocked its head, watching him, watching his whole world unravel.

“The girls are out back feeding burned scones to the birds.”

His pulse jumped. “You don’t burn things.”

“No.” Her smile was tight, thin, and so unlike her normal heart-in-her-eyes grin that he forgot to breathe. “Finding out my lover is going to marry someone else distracted me.”

“Jade heard. Shit.”

“She heard enough to run to me with a broken heart about leaving Oban. Part of me wasn’t surprised.” She cocked her head, much like the kaka—curious, indifferent. Yet he couldn’t believe she didn’t care, not with her red-rimmed eyes and fence-post straight spine. “Now, you and Marci getting married?
That
I never saw coming.”

“Well. She blindsided me too, I’m not—”

She held up a palm. “You don’t have to explain.”

“I do.” He considered it crucial that she understand he didn’t want Marci. That even the idea of sharing any part of his life and futur
e with her, made him nauseated.

Ben cleared the distance between them and grabbed her hand. “I
didn’t ask Marci to marry me.”

Her dark eyes widened and her breathing hitched.

“She suggested it after telling me her so-called fiancé screwed her over for the boss’s daughter.”

“She’s tr
ying to make this man jealous?”

“I don’t know. I hadn’t thought of that. She says she wants a man to take care of her and Jade while she stu
dies full-time.” He stroked her hand, his thumb tracing delicate bones under chilled skin. “I tried ringing my lawyer on the way down. His answering service picked up, so I’ll have to wait until Monday. I’ll fight her, but it’s a crapshoot being awarded full custody…” Shaking his head, his gaze slipped to his scuffed boots.

“You’d have to prove Marci’s an unfit mother. That’s tough.”

“Yeah. And I hate the thought of Jade being in that woman’s care alone until I can get a court hearing.”

“You can’t let her revert to that stricken little girl she was three months ago.”

“No.”

She squeezed his hand. “I’ll help with the lawyer fees.”

His head jerked up.

“We’ll find the best law—”

He pulled out of her grasp and stepped back. “No, Goddammit. I can’t accept your charity again.”

“Offering to help you and Jade is not charity, pig-headed man! Think of it as a loan if you have to.”

“A loan I’ll never be able to repay. No.” He shook his head. “I won’t let you dip into Callum’s life insurance, especially when there’s no guarantee I’ll win. It’s Zoe’s money.
Zoe’s
. I won’t touch it.”

At her wide eyes and trembling chin, Ben took K
ezia’s hand again. “I don’t mean to be harsh. But I’ll take care of this. Jade’s my responsibility.”

“So, what will you do now?” She sucked in a deep breath
and straightened her shoulders.

“I have no fucking idea.” Put his house on the ma
rket and hope for a buyer? Sell The Mollymawk, his only means of making a viable income on Stewart Island. But without his dive business, his days living in Oban were numbered.

“W
ill you consider marrying her?”

Seismic tremors ran through her words, cracking open a canyon between their feet. The canyon yawned open, a future filled with nothingness. No laughter, no warmth, no incredible sex that he now knew wasn’t just sex, but
making love. No Kezia, no Zoe.

Ben closed his eyes. Saw his too-silent, solemn little girl hiding from him in the garden. Saw her refusing to eat chocolate because her mother told her she’d get fat. Then he saw Jade perched on his back giggling as he completed ten push-ups and pretended to collapse. Saw them playing Secret Ninja and
Cluedo
and hide n’ seek, where he’d always find her first because his daughter never stopped laughing.

Put her needs before your wants.

Half-assed plans, worries, utter chaos screamed through his brain. He was stumbling along a shaky tightrope over that canyon, and he couldn’t seem to find his balance.

“Who the hell knows what’ll happen? Maybe as a last resort.” The words tore from him, ruthlessly cut from his guts like a surgeon removing a cancerous growth.

Kezia yanked away from him, throwing up her palms. “
Gesù
! How can you possibly think marrying her will work?”

“I’d make it work, if it came to that. For Jade.” Couldn’t she understand there were no easy choices here? That he was being stretched in ten different dire
ctions, trapped in a pressure-cooking-time-bomb?

“How could you let your daughter see you marry a woman you care nothing for? It’s
wrong
. Marriage is about love. Commitment. Partnership. Trust.”

“Kezia—”

She was right. Everything about marrying Marci was wrong. He was
drowning
in the wrongness, clutching at straws. Goddamn it, he had to consider every option though, no matter how sickening.

“I can’t deal with this right now. Since it’s
your
decision,
your
responsibility,
you
need to sort this out with Marci.”

“Kezia—I…” he tried again, but the girls appeared in the hallway behind her and the words choked in his throat.

Jade’s gaze leaped to his, her brow crinkling. She froze and Zoe moved ahead of her—defending her against the wrath-of-Ben they probably both expected.

“Hey, kiddo. Figured you’d be here.” He made sure his voice contained no trace of annoyance.

“You’re not mad?” Jade squeaked from behind Zoe’s shoulder.

“Nah. I knew you wouldn’t have gone far.” He ran a hand over his jaw and grimaced, catching a whiff of himself. Yeah, nervous sweat reeked. God, he needed a hot shower, a ha
ndful of aspirin—and a miracle.

“Listen, we need to get going. You’ve got goodie bags to finish, and I’m not getting glitter all over my fingers doing them for you.”

Jade smiled a wobbly smile. “I can still have a party?”

Ben glanced at Kezia, but she’d turned away, the t
iny sliver of her profile giving no indication of her thoughts. “Sure. You think I’m going to eat two pounds of cocktail sausages, six bags of potato chips, and a case of fizzy drinks by myself?”

“And cupcakes,” said Zoe. “Don’t forget me and Mamma are making cupcakes. Everything’s better with cupcakes.”

His head hurt, his eyes hurt, his chest hurt and he doubted any kind of cupcake would help. He gamely fixed a smile to his mouth. “Yeah, and cupcakes. C’mon then, Jade. Let’s go home.”

Kezia stopped Jade for a quick hug, but she wouldn’t look at him as the girl stepped outside. They walked to the gate, and Sparky bounded around the side of the house. Jade clipped on her leash and picked her up.

“Dad,” she said, as they trudged uphill.

“
Mmm?”

“Wouldn’t you rather marry Kezia than Mum?” She kept her eyes downcast, her
nose resting on the dog’s head.

Sparky panted like a maniac and licked her chops, staring glassily ahead. A dog’s life was so much si
mpler.

“It’s complicated.”

Jade huffed out an impatient sigh. “Grown-ups always say ‘it’s complicated’ if they don’t want to answer a question.”

“True.”

She stopped in front of one of the neighbor’s fences, lowered Sparky to the ground, and looked him dead in the eyes. “You don’t like Mum the way you like Kezia.”

Ben crouched in front of her. “I don’t really know your mum that well.”

“So why do you want to marry her then?”

He couldn’t tell her the truth. Some burdens a kid shouldn’t ever have to carry. “It’s complicated.”

“Dad!”

“Nobody’s marrying anybody at the moment. We’re trying to work something out—what’s best for you.”

Jade folded her arms and stood hipshot, a cocky stance betrayed by her shiny eyes. “Do you want me to go back to Auckland with Mum?”

“I don’t want you out of my sight for a second. I want to be there nagging you to brush your teeth. I want to tell you to get your dog off my bed, and I want to enjoy the continuing improvement of your coffee-making skills. You’ve grown on me, kiddo.”

A pause, then a smile cracked the grim line of her lips. “Like mold.”

“Yeah, the gross stuff you find on leftover pizza stuck at the back of the fridge.”

She frowned. “You’d throw that pizza out though.”

“Oh, you’re getting tricky with your similes now?”

“What’s a sim-a-lee?”

He chuckled and tugged her ponytail. “I’m not throwing you out. Ever.”

“Because you like me now?”

Because he loved her so damn much he’d screw his life over to make sure she was happy and cared for. Then why did the words stick in his throat like burrs? “Guess I must.”

“So you’ll tell mum I can stay with you? And then you can be with Kezia.”

Would’ve been less painful if the girl had just kneed him in the nuts.

Ben peeled off a reassuring
I’m an adult; I’ll handle it
smile. “Don’t worry, kiddo. It’ll work out.”

It’d work out if that miracle would just show up and extricate his ass from between the giant rock and horr
ible fucking hard place.
C’mon universe, any time now would be great.
The universe—surprise, surprise—appeared to be on a lunch break, and all he could think of was Kezia’s bleak eyes and downturned mouth.

They continued to walk, Sparky prancing ahead, leading them home—home for now, anyway. His heart lurched and thudded dully inside his chest.

He was losing Kezia moment by moment, with every step he took away from her. And he couldn’t do a thing about it.

***

Praise God for chilled tea-bags and waterproof mascara, that’s all she could say. Kezia grimaced at her reflection and slotted the mascara tube back into her cosmetics basket. Not that the tea-bags or make-up helped much with her puffy, bloodshot eyes.

Maybe no one would notice. Hah! Like Ben hadn’t noticed how much it hurt when he’d turned down her offer of financial help. Like he hadn’t noticed her heart breaking at the though
t of him marrying someone else.

She was really doing this
. Planning to run away again.

But how could stay in Oban once the rumors started flying? Once everyone knew she’d been unceremon
iously dumped for Marci Carter; she wasn’t naive enough to believe people hadn’t already guessed about their little…affair. Add an unplanned pregnancy to the gossip mill…No. She’d find that out for sure tonight. And yes, yes—she’d inform Ben of the results after this
disastroso
weekend was over.

Kezia pulled on her boots and walked out to the now-silent kitchen. Shaye and Zoe had left for Jade’s party thirty minutes ago, her daughter unwilling to wait while Kezia fussed and tried to postpone the inevitable.

She opened her handbag and double checked her flight details. Plenty of time to drop off the party cupcakes and hitch a ride with Ford to the airport. Last night, she’d rung Des Thompson, the principal at her old school, and set up a casual meeting with him and the small Board of Trustees. He’d been surprised, but more than happy to chat about a possible teaching position for her at the end of the school year.

Then today she’d lied her butt off. And in the scheme of all the things this now grown-up and no longer innocent Catholic girl had done, lying to her friend and daughter seemed laughable. She’d told Shaye and Zoe she was taking an overnight trip to visit her brother Nick. Zoe, too excited to listen or really care, instructed her to say hi to Uncle Nicky, and moved on
to repacking her sleepover bag.