Melting His Alaskan Heart (14 page)

T
HAT EVENING
, everyone played Scrabble and Carly infiltrated herself into his family a little deeper. Sunday morning couldn’t get here soon enough. Travis would fly them back to Anchorage and he’d be back to his regular life. A life without Carly in it.

He felt horrible pretending that Carly was his date—that they were together. He could see the extra sparkle in his mom’s eyes. Like she was so happy for him and he couldn’t stand it. Didn’t she realize he would never be part of a couple ever again?

Sabrina easily won the Scrabble game even with Zak looking over her shoulder trying to see her letters. “Doesn’t anyone want to play again?” she asked.

“I think my ass whooping on the rink, followed by another in Scrabble is enough for one day,” Travis said. “I’m off to bed.”

“What time are we leaving in the morning?” Ethan asked.

“We depart at eight,” Travis answered.

Relieved, Ethan said, “Okay, we’ll be ready.”

“Why do you have to leave so soon?” their mother asked.

“I’ve got to get this aircraft back. They need it for a charter to Illiamna in the afternoon.”

“All right,” Ethan’s mother said, “I was just hoping for a little more time with everyone.”

“I need to get back too, Mom,” Dane said. “It’s been great having a couple days away, but the team flies to Calgary on Tuesday and I can’t risk being weathered in here.”

“That’s true, I suppose,” Molly replied. “I’m just so happy you came, Carly. It’s not often the family gets together, and granted, Fiona is missing, but still, all my boys under one roof doesn’t happen often enough.”

Travis wrapped their mom in a big bear hug. “I think we get together pretty often, considering.”

“I know you’re right.” She hugged Travis back. “Without you being the owner of Tundra Air, I know we wouldn’t see each other as often as we do. I’m so grateful for that.”

Ethan waited to give his mom a goodnight hug too.

“And you,” his mom said to Ethan as she wrapped her arms around him. “I never get to see you since you’re a part-time fireman and helping Zak at the lodge. I can never keep track whether you’re in Anchorage or here.”

When he embraced her, he felt another twinge of guilt for letting her believe Carly was a real date. “I’m eventually going to leave Anchorage and the firehouse there. I was thinking that Gold Creek is getting big enough. I should get a volunteer firehouse started here. I should have my permanent residence be in Gold Creek.”

Molly leaned back from his hug. “But how does Carly feel about that?”

Ethan should have never opened his mouth. He wanted to tell his mom something she’d be happy to hear, but she’d found a hole in his plan.

She turned to Carly. “You can’t live in Gold Creek and be an editor for that magazine in Anchorage, can you?”

“No. That’s pretty impossible,” Carly responded. “But you know Ethan and I haven’t made any permanent plans of any kind. We’re just dating right now.”

Thank God Carly didn’t try to boost his mother’s wishes. He’d already pushed the envelope entirely too far.

But then she added, “Although my job is in Anchorage, I do a lot of freelance writing work too. And who knows, maybe someday, that’s all I’ll do. I can live anywhere and write.”

“That’s true,” his mom said. “So nice that you have that kind of flexibility with your employment.” She turned to him. “Isn’t that nice, Ethan?”

“Yeah, Mom, it’s great.” He nodded and tried to look enthusiastic.

Dammit. Just when he thought things were going his way in regards to Carly and her exodus from his life, she managed to turn the tables on him. He placed his hand on the center of her back to urge her out of the room. The faster he got her away from his family, the better.

C
ARLY DECIDED
to get straight to the point. Once Ethan had shut the door to his room, she calmly said, “Why do you keep pushing me away?”

Ethan gave her that unassuming look he was so good at, like he was trying to decide how to answer her. The guy was so restrained. She wanted nothing more than to see him out of control. “And don’t try to act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“I’ve told you.” His look softened. “I’m not interested in a relationship. And yet, you keep pushing, like telling my mom your job is the type that can be done anywhere.”

“It’s true—it can.”

“You’re with a popular sports magazine that even does some broadcasting on the news. It’s not like they’re going to move their home base to Gold Creek.”

“Ah ha, so you’ve thought of it. You’ve thought about me living in Gold Creek.”

Ethan shook his head. “I have not thought of it.”

“You just said…oh, never mind.” There was no point in going there with him.

“You moved all the way to Alaska to take the job. It’s not like you’re suddenly going to move to a remote town that currently doesn’t even have a radio station, let alone a magazine.”

“But the town is growing. You just said you’re considering starting a firehouse here.”

“Yes,” he said. “It’s growing, but it’s never going to be picked up by a major station.”

“Maybe not, but the news isn’t the only passion I have. Yes, I love sports, but I have other dreams too.”

He moved into the kitchen, eyeing her the entire time, then stopped and shoved his hands into his front pockets.

She knew he wanted to ask her about her other dreams. She knew it as surely as she could feel the goosebumps bristle on her arms. He was interested in her. In her mind, her thoughts, her desires. Her reporter sense and her people sense got her the job she had, but it was her woman’s sense that drove her when it came to Ethan. She’d never felt this kind of intense physical attraction to anyone before.

He crossed his arms. “Why won’t you just go away peacefully?”

She laughed. “I have to give you points for honesty. And don’t worry, no reason to spare my feelings. I can take it.”

“I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to—”

“Ethan, it’s okay. I can only imagine the other woman in your life since your wife, who, I’m guessing, you pushed away pretty easily.” She shrugged. “It’s an occupational hazard. I do what I have to do to get the story. I did it when I was assigned the Dane Forrester story and I’m determined to do it with you.”

He shook his head. “It won’t work with me.”

“I know you’re not a story I need to get. You are so much more. I felt it when we met. When you were wearing that knight mask, and I know you felt it, too.” She fisted her hands and punched them into her thighs. “I know you did, and I know you still do.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said gruffly.

“Of course it matters. Just give us a chance.” She approached him and placed her hands on his shoulders. “Let’s give dating a chance. That’s all I’m asking.”

“I can’t,” he said, but he looked at her lips when he said it and he didn’t pull away.

“Then just kiss me,” she said. If that was all she could have of him, it would have to be enough for now. He didn’t say he didn’t want to date her, only that he couldn’t. In her mind, that was a huge difference. It gave her hope. It gave her something to build on.

When his lips slammed against hers, she felt his resolve crumble. If he was so determined not to date her, then why kiss her? His arms wrapped around her and lifted her up. Her heart thumped so hard inside her chest, she thought he must feel it.

M
ORNING CAME TOO QUICKLY
. Before Carly got her bearings, she was on a plane with Ethan and Travis and on her way back to Anchorage. She hated saying goodbye to Sabrina and Molly. She hadn’t formed any close friends since moving to Alaska. Probably because she spent all of her time working and probably because she hadn’t made the effort, but she was more than willing to put in the work necessary with Ethan.

After last night, she was convinced he’d give their dating a fighting chance. His words didn’t match his actions. And everyone said actions speak louder than words. If that was true, then he’d cave, and she would expect to hear from him once they were settled back into their regular routines in Anchorage.

She also had Dane’s support, however much that helped. She did get his cell number and wouldn’t hesitate to use it, if need be. First, she had to get this story written and submitted. It was a big assignment and she was determined to make it one of her best.

When they landed at Merrill Field in Anchorage, Carly hoped to make plans with Ethan for when they might meet next. She knew he was scheduled at the firehouse that week, so he’d be in town.

Travis unloaded their bags. “See you later. I need to get this bird ready for the charter.”

“Later,” Ethan said.

“Thanks for the flight. It was great,” Carly said. “But don’t I owe you money for my ticket?”

“No.” Travis waved a hand in the air and walked away. “The trip was on my tab.”

Carly looked at Ethan. Her stomach did a little flip in anticipation. This was the moment when Ethan would ask for her number and they’d make plans for dinner this week. Or better yet, maybe she’d make dinner for him at her place.

An awkward silence stood between them like an invisible barrier instead.

Ethan picked up her bag. “I’ll walk with you to your car.”

“Great. Thank you.” Carly left the terminal. Ethan kept pace a half-step behind her and she mentally willed him to ask when they would see each other again. “So, you work at the fire station this week?”

“Yep.”

The silence was deafening as they traversed the length of the parking lot. She unlocked her SUV and opened the back door. “My bag can go in the back seat.”

Ethan placed her duffle bag down.

Another awkward silence ensued and Carly couldn’t stand it.

She was about to say something before Ethan asked, “When do you have to submit your article?”

“It’s due on Wednesday. I’ll get it done. Thank you for your help. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

He gave a half-hearted smirk. “Not a problem,” he replied.

Outside in the sunlight and amongst the snowy background, Ethan’s eyes looked so blue by contrast. “So,” she said, “I should be getting home.”

“Me too.”

“I’m pretty tired.” She had tried all weekend to make him see how they should be together. Dane’s words echoed in her mind about how stubborn Ethan was. Stubborn didn’t begin to cover it. “Thanks again for getting me the interview with Dane. Your family is lovely. I had a wonderful time.”

He nodded. “You’re welcome.”

He was supposed to say what a great time he had, too, but she didn’t hear those words. She didn’t hear anything but one and two word replies from him. She wanted so much more from him, but she didn’t have the energy to query him further. She’d pushed for what she wanted over the weekend and now it was time to let it go for a while.

She slid into the driver’s seat of her SUV and held the door open. “Thank you, Ethan.”

He gave a half nod and stared at her intently. His lips moved and she waited for him to say something—anything, but he didn’t.

With her patience gone, she was done waiting for him. “Goodbye.” She shut the door.

Carly turned the key, moved into reverse and pulled out of the parking lot. She looked into her rear view mirror and watched him as he stood there with his hands shoved into the front pockets of his down jacket.

She drove away. “Coward.”

CHAPTER 16

Almost an entire week had gone by and no word from Ethan. She’d completed her article about Dane. In fact, she called him before she submitted it. He read the story and complimented her on her professionalism and perspective on the sport of hockey.

Despite this, Carly felt sick to her stomach because she hadn’t heard from Ethan. She almost called him several times, but she always came up with an excuse. Not knowing his schedule at the fire station, he could have a night shift and slept during the day. Or worse, maybe he wouldn’t pick up when he saw her name on the caller ID.

Maybe she’d read him entirely wrong. Maybe he wasn’t interested in her, at all. Maybe their encounter was only a weekend affair and nothing more. She admitted that option seemed the most plausible. It hurt, but she’d get over it. She was the instigator. Ethan would have slept on the couch if she hadn’t insisted he join her. As the saying went, she’d made her bed, now she’d have to sleep in it.

Her phone rang and the caller ID said Forrester, but not the Forrester she’d been hoping to hear from. She answered after the second ring. “Hello, Dane. To what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call? Don’t you have a game tonight?”

“Hi, Carly. In fact, I do have a game and that’s what I was calling about. I’ll leave you a VIP ticket in will call if you’d like to attend.”

“Sounds tempting.”

“They’re box seats.”

“I wouldn’t expect any less from you.” She smiled. “Who else sits in your box seats?”

“Does that matter?” Dane asked with sarcasm in his voice.

“Yes. It does.” Her shoulders sagged. She hated feeling this way—defeated.

“I’m going to take a wild guess and say you haven’t heard from Ethan.”

She let go of her breath. “Nope, not a word.”

“That stubborn ass.” Anger laced his voice.

“It’s okay, really. I just don’t feel like sitting next to him at your game. I’m sorry, Dane. I really appreciate the offer, though.” She felt embarrassed saying that much. She didn’t know him that well and she didn’t want to appear like a charity case.

“It’s okay, but why don’t you meet us at the Borealis Bar afterward. I’ll introduce you to some of the other players. In fact, I bet most of them would give you an interview without having to make a deal with their devil brother to get it.”

Carly laughed. “I bet you might be right.” She also remembered the bartender there whom she really liked. Maybe she would put forth more of an effort to make some friends in town. “Sure. I’ll meet you there after the game. I’m up for mixing a little business with pleasure.”

“Sounds great. See you there.”

“Thanks, Dane. And good luck tonight.” Carly hung up her phone and smiled. Maybe it was time to move on. She missed Ethan. She wanted to be with him, but she wasn’t willing to beg or become a stalker to have him. Maybe it was time to get out, socialize, and procure an interview or two with some other members of the Fury hockey team.