Melissa And The Cowboy (Western Night Series 1) (41 page)

              “Effie,” she said. “I believe that my name is Effie.”

              He smiled, and it was so real and genuine that Effie could not help but smile back. Yes, in spite of who she may be, or who she was, she had chosen Effie. She would be Effie for now.

              “My name is Alasdair,” he told her. “Alasdair McLeod.”

              He stared at her and studied her face with so much intensity that Effie felt as though she couldn’t breathe. She looked down at her hands and saw the cuts and scrapes across them. Her smile quickly turned into a frown as she gently touched the abrasions, hissing in slight pain as they stung. Alasdair leaned forward and took her hand.

              “Be careful,” he admonished softly.

              “Am I very hurt?” Effie asked him. She didn’t feel anything besides the sting of her scrapes and the dull throb in her head. Alasdair shook his head.

              “No, but there was a lot of blood, it was lost mostly from your brow, we think. All in all you’ll most likely be fine… save for the fact that you don’t remember anything.”

              Part of her felt relief, a large part, at the notion that she was currently free. Another, wiser, part of her told her that she would surely end up a vagabond if left alone now, with no one in the world and nothing to her name save for the clothes on her back, if they were even truly hers. Alasdair studied her face with something close to sympathy, and reached out to touch her shoulder.

              This was the second time he had touched her, and a distant echo in Effie told her that this was not very acceptable in polite society. Effie swiftly came to the conclusion that wherever she was, she was mostly a very long way from polite society, so she didn’t pay it any mind.

              “You may stay with us if you like,” Alec said after a small pause. “Right, Dad?”

              He turned his large eyes up to his father and begged, Alasdair laughed.

              “Unless you’d rather be somewhere else, lass,” he said.

              “No!” She said, perhaps too quickly. “I just...I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

              She realized that sounded terrible, but it didn’t seem to bother Alasdair. She could not imagine living in the same place as this man, sharing his table, all without knowing a single thing about herself. How could he be so trusting?

              “I won’t do it for nothing,” she said sternly. “I’m going to do whatever you need me to do. I’ll watch the children, I’ll cook if you need me to.”

              She wasn’t fully sure that she knew how to cook, but how hard could it possibly be? He smiled and rose from the bed.

              “I think that Auntie Leana could use a little help around here, don’t you?” he said to his two children. Alex whooped and embraced his father, and little Ness stood shyly and looked at Effie, her mouth turned into a tentative smile. Effie understood as best she could, with the mother gone, it had to be difficult to have a new woman around. She hoped that this Leana would be happy for the help, but as she looked at the handsome face of Alasdair McLeod, she had a feeling that she wouldn’t be.

Chapter 2

              “What are you
thinking
bringing that stranger into this house?!” Leana placed her hands on her hips and squared her legs, fully prepared to sink into the warm waters of this argument she was heating up. Alasdair did not have the patience for it, although part of him couldn’t stand to see Elaine’s sister so horrified.

              “I couldn’t just leave her out on the street,” Alasdair replied. “She’s a long way from home, I think, and she doesn’t even remember where home is.”

              “Or so she says,” Liana huffed, tossing her long dark red hair down her back. Her hair was a hair of a shade lighter than her sister’s was, a welcome fact that he clung to in the moments when she was so like Elaine that he was still convinced that she was in the house. Leana was a fine woman, and he hoped that she could make a fine and happy marriage one day, but he knew it would never be with him. He didn’t want to marry the ghost of his wife, no matter how much she wanted to.

              “What do you mean?” He asked.

              “You know very well what I mean,” she said. “She could be one of those liars, those con men, who come all limping in like a wounded deer and then all of a sudden all your money’s gone.”

              “Don’t be ridiculous,” Alasdair said, his voice beginning to betray his frustration. Leana mistook it for doubt and lunged on it.

              “You know it might be the case, and let you let her talk to your children? Even Ness, who doesn’t like to talk to anyone, you’regoing to let her around this strange woman, simply because you found her hurt?”

              “What would you have me do, Leana? Toss her out on the street on the off chance she’s a cheat? No. I’d rather house a cheat than leave a poor woman out in the cold.”

              Leana studied his face with her striking blue eyes, the same blue as his children’s, the same blue as Elaine’s.

              “You always were soft for beautiful women,” she said, defeated. He smiled at her. She had said as much the day he asked for Elaine’s hand in marriage. Many people in the village believed that it had all been Elaine’s idea, but Alasdair had never known it. She had ensnared his heart upon the first meeting and he had spent every waking moment until the day they were wed winning hers. Leana knew this, but had been unconvinced until the moment her sister had been made a bride. She never wanted to talk about Elaine, it must have been too painful to lose her sister the way it had happened. It must have been painful as well, knowing that when others saw her, they saw Elaine.

              Alasdair felt a pang of respect and sympathy for her then, to be haunted by his wife’s ghost was one thing, but how must it have felt to know that you were the one doing the haunting without meaning to? He moved to her side.

              “Not all beautiful women,” he said as he gave her a brotherly kiss on the cheek. She sighed and moved to begin to bake that morning’s bread, and Alasdair let her believe that he had not seen the look of longing on her face as she turned away.

#

              Two days later, Effie was well enough to leave the safety of the McLeod house, but she still held onto doorframe and looked out onto the path leading the marketplace with a look akin to fear. Little Ness was at her side, looking up at her with expectant eyes.

              “You need one more step, ma’am,” the little girl said in the same sing-song accent as her father. As Effie looked out to rolling hills the color of wheat, to the edges of forests all bursting with color. She brought her fingers to her lips and felt her sounding out the name of such a land.

              “Scotland,” she said. Ness said nothing. Effie had a feeling that Ness was not a girl of many words, but Effie understood. She felt the little girl’s insistent pull on the hem of  her dress, and she allowed the little one to guide her out into the open.

              She hadn’t been in bed for long, but it seemed like she had been asleep for a hundred years as she took in the autumn sunlight, listened to the wind whistle through trees. The highlands, she thought. That’s where she was. The revelation of her knowledge excited her, but it yielded no fruit no matter how much she tried to focus on it.

              “So you’re her, eh?” a voice asked from behind her. Effie turned to see the most beautiful woman she had ever seen walking towards her. She had long hair a shade lighter than Ness’ own reddish locks, and striking blue eyes the same as the little girl. If she had not heard otherwise, Effie would believe she was looking at the ghost of the mother Ness had lost. Instead, however, she knew that she was looking at Leana, something she had prepared for.

              She had not prepared for how beautiful Leana was. A distant feeling panged in the back of her heart, something like jealousy, but over what exactly she wouldn’t fully express. Was she jealous of her beauty? Effie could be just as beautiful for all she knew. Was she jealous of her place in Alasdair’s life? Well, Effie hardly knew what that place was, or who Alasdair was, so could she truly  be jealous over something so utterly silly?             

              It took her a moment to realize… she was probably partially right. She was jealous of Leana, but she was jealous of Leana’s
place
. She knew who she was, where she has, who she was supposed to love and care for. Did Effie truly know that? Not particularly.

              She desperately wanted to fit in in the village, but part of her could not help but wonder, was anyone looking for her elsewhere?

#

              Lord Reginald Fairchild could was a good hunter, he had to be after the many hours he had spent on the sport. Because of this he wasn’t concerned over her loss. She had thought that by taking the carriage he would be slowed, but she ought to have known better than that assumption. He wondered if her emotions were clouding her usual cool judgment.

              As soon as he found the carriage tracks heading north, he could not help but laugh. She had to be mad, she had to not be thinking clearly.

              Or, far more likely, she merely wanted him to find her.

              His lips curled into a smile… he loved being the hunter, especially when he was hunting such delicious prey.

Chapter 3

              It took almost two weeks, but finally Leana seemed to turn around to her. It happened so slowly that Effie did not fully realize that it was going on. At first she had stubbornly ignored any attempt at help, refusing to allow her to dry dishes, shooing her out of the kitchen when it was time to make bread. It bothered Effie, for she wanted to have a purpose here instead of just loafing about.

              She spent a lot of time with the children then, playing little games with Ness and Alec. They warmed to her immediately, and she took a terrific amount of comfort in that.

              Ness was as quiet as a mouse, and so small that often Effie did not realize that she was there until she was underfoot. She was a sweet girl, with a laugh so delicate and lovely that often Effie would tickle her so that she could hear it again and again. She knew that little Ness was going to grow up to be a devastating beauty, and often Effie wondered if she would look just like her mother. She had a feeling she would be.

              Alec was a clever boy, and brave, and she could see that the only thing he ever wanted to be in his life was like his father. She noticed that Alasdair spent much of his time riding out along the countryside, searching out rumours of enemies and battles. She wondered what would disappoint him more: the idea that the enemies were out there, or the idea that they weren’t.

It was also surprising to Effie to see how kindly, and yet how distant Alasdair was towards her. She couldn’t help but wonder how he felt about her, for while he had done a tremendous kindness by allowing her to stay, he seemed desperate to keep her at arm’s length. In her way she understood, but it did not stop the selfish rising of desire in her heart. It had been two weeks and he barely tried to look at her.

Luckily, her friendship with Leana grew by leaps and bounds, and Effie was proud enough to have a friend. She could tell that Leana too harboured a desire for Alasdair, but he also held her with the same nervous regard, he also made sure never to touch her, and when she was not looking, Effie could see a peculiar look of sadness in his eyes. She did not need to guess about the resemblance between Leana and his lost wife, his eyes told her enough.

That was why the moment in the barn surprised her so very much.

              It was one of those days that was completely perfect, Leana had taught her how to milk the cow, and it had become a simple pleasure to Effie to be able to do that. She sat on the bench, it had to be near dawn, and squeezed the milk into the pail in long, sure strokes. She allowed herself to dream a little, sending her mind far away as she worked.

              It was almost helpful to her to be able to do this, in the few weeks she had lived with the McLeods she had regained a few snatches of memory, but nothing particularly helpful. She could remember the color blue, a lace glove that she must have cherished enough to remember like this. She could remember a view over a city that she decided must be in England, and the more she thought about it, the name “Derby” came to mind. Once the others had confirmed it, yes, there was a city in England called such, Effie came to the conclusion that she must be from there. It wasn’t a satisfying conclusion, but it was the only conclusion she had.

              She was so lost in her own thoughts that she did not hear Alasdair’s soft footsteps as he entered the barn. It was only when she felt the warmth of him beside her that she even realized that he was there. She smiled up at him, patted the side of the cow, and got to her feet to greet him.

              “You look like you belong there,” he told her with a smile. She blushed and looked down at the cow, running her hand gently on her side.

              “Perhaps I am. Maybe I was a milkmaid in Derby.”