P
ace watched as the kids clamored around the picnic table with their straightened-out clothes hangers, hurrying to get their hot dog on the stick and join in the fun around the campfire. More like bonfire! Cort had built the thing so that it lit up the entire night sky as it burned. Standing in the shadows just out of reach of the glow, Pace searched for Sheri among the crowd. Coming up empty, he was surprised at the wave of disappointment that settled over him.
He'd kept busy in the weeks since he and Sheri had words. She'd stopped jogging past his place. Despite everything that had happened, he'd noticed her absence, and despite everything he'd missed her.
Glancing around at the kids he was amazed that he was here. When Cort had approached him to help with some weekend youth retreats that he'd set up, Pace had thought he'd lost his mind. Cort had pressed him, convinced that Pace would be great giving riding pointers
to the kids. Pace had been hesitant at first. Then the Lord reminded him of why he'd left Idaho, and he'd accepted. This was his opportunity to use his love of horses as a bridge to interact with a group of kids. It was an opportunity to be a witness for Christ.
He'd already committed to helping when he learned that Sheri had come on board. Since he'd already given Cort his word there was no backing out. No avoiding her. And despite the gulf that was between them, there was a deep part of him that wanted to see her. Over the weeks he'd only seen her at church at a distance. They'd both been careful to steer clear of each other. Even though there had been a few times when it was plain that the ladies were trying hard to connect them, Sheri obviously was determined not to come near him. As soon as Norma Sue would call him over to their group Sheri would head to her Jeep.
The Lord had been after him for the last week to try and set things right between them. After all, she'd apologized, and he'd sent her away. She'd basically asked for forgiveness and he'd shunned her. Every time he'd picked up his Bible since then he somehow managed to read passages on forgiving your neighbor. God was sending him a message, but as of yet he'd been too stubborn to submit.
She'd lied to him. She'd tried to use him. The odd thing was that the posse didn't seem to care one way or the other that they'd been deceived. They knew what had happened. Roy Don told him that Sheri had called a meeting at Roy and Norma Sue's house and explained everything and asked them to forgive her for being so
conniving. Obviously they'd done the right thing. They'd forgiven her.
So he had a dilemma. He needed to accept her apology and move on, and a part of him wanted that more than he could begin to understand. It was that part that had him running scared.
Sheri stepped into view carrying a tray of hot dogs. The moment he glimpsed her his heart kicked up a notch. Everything around him charged up the way it did just before he stepped into the stirrup of a bronc. In many ways Sheri reminded him of a wild broncâ¦so full of turns and contradictions that it was a struggle to keep up with her.
She had on faded jeans, her red boots and a tank top. He smiled automatically when she raised her eyes and their gazes melded together.
She had a hold on him.
But she disappointed him.
In the flicker of the fire, shadows danced along her silhouette and time seemed to stand still. In that moment he made a decision. He was duty bound to accept her apology. He'd do it then be able to move on, to stop thinking about her. He took a step, then wove through the kids to get to her. She watched him all the way. When he stood a foot in front of her he had the urge to touch her. He shoved the urge away and got to the point.
“We need to talk.”
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Sheri had been startled when she'd found Pace staring at her. When he'd stormed through the group of kids toward her she'd felt as she had the day she'd caused him to get tossed off the mustang. The man had
a glint in his eye and a purpose in his step that was formidable. In the flickering firelight he looked as if he was bearing down on an outlaw.
It was intimidating, but she refused to be intimidated by him anymore. True, she'd been in the wrong using him as she'd done. But she'd apologized, and if he couldn't accept it then so be it. He for certain wasn't going to throw demands at her.
“Talk,” she said, stepping away from the group of girls whose mouths were hanging open looking up at Pace. She wasn't sure if they were scared of him or enthralled by him. It was probably a little of both. “I've got things to do, cowboy.” Lifting her chin she stalked toward the house to get more food. In a flash, Sheri's irritation had flared out of control. The man wanted to talk, and she'd been wanting to talk, so why was she suddenly so angry with him?
“I'll help you,” he said, falling into step beside her.
“No thanks,” she huffed and walked faster. “I'm fine on my own.”
They reached the back door. She went to open the screen but he threw his hand over her shoulder and held the door closed. She yanked hard then twisted around to glare up at him. Suddenly finding herself practically in his embrace, she stepped back and pressed her back against the door. “Why'd you do that?” she snapped, frustrated by his nearness. His scent enveloped her, the smell of leather and soap. It was a very distracting and appealing scent and one she'd missed.
“I need to talk to you,” he said slowly. His eyes were dark, and his brows dipped below the rim of his hat.
“That's a little awkward. Don't you think?”
“What does that mean? And what is wrong with you?”
“Me? What's wrong with me? I come and apologize to you, and you turn me away like I've committed the unpardonable sin, when I was doing the right thing. Then, you make no attempt to talk to me for three weeks and all of a sudden you practically
demand
to talk to me.” She knew she was overreacting, but telling herself to calm down was like talking toâ¦well it was like talking to Pace Gentryâa hardheaded goat! As a matter of fact, if he wanted to talk then he would get a piece of her mind. “And another thing! If you think I'm going to grovel to get your forgiveness, well, you have another think coming, cowboy.”
He stepped back and yanked his hat off his head. His dark hair was plastered across his forehead as he rammed a hand through it and stared at her. “I don't expect that,” he said.
The softness in his voice set her back. She felt a little, just a little embarrassed as she shifted her weight from one boot to the other. “Well. What do you expect?”
“I guess, what I was thinking is maybe we could start over. After you accept my apology for holding you to a higher standard than I was willing to meet myself.”
Well, at least that was a start. “I don't think so,” she said. “I haven't gotten the posse to completely give up on the idea of you and me being meant for each other. If they were to see us start speaking to each other it'd just rile them up again. I mean, knowing we agree that things between us are okay would be nice to know. But that'd be all.”
He slapped his hat on his thigh, his expression grim.
“So would it be all that bad if they thought there might be something to this notion of theirs that we might be right for each other?”
Sheri's heart stopped beating. Just stopped for an insane moment as something she didn't recognize flared inside of her. “It wouldn't be fair to anyone. Especially you,” she said, shaking off the odd feeling.
“I don't understand.”
“Look, Pace.” She figured it was time to just lay it all out there for him and be done with it once and for all. “Nothing has changed for me. I'm still not planning on marrying. I've got too much baggage from my past to risk it. With the way my parents were, and the way I am, there's still a chance that I couldn't one hundred percent commit to one man for the rest of my life. Not that I'm saying that's even something you might consider wanting with me. But I'm just thinking that you should know this.”
He scowled. “I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm just asking you out.”
She hadn't really thought he might be thinking marriage, so why did his statement hurt so much? She lifted her chin. “I don't think so. I'm trying to figure out some things right now,” she said with force, as much to convince herself as Pace.
“Like what?”
She studied him. “Like why am I here. I've been so busy running from who I am that I don't really know myself anymore. And I want to know. God has a purpose for me. As mixed up as I am, He made me, so there's got to be a reason.”
Pace reached out suddenly and ran his finger down
her jaw, rattling her. “You're a wonderful woman, Sheri. I know God has great plans for you, but I still don't get why you're so dead set against ever getting married.”
She stepped away from his touch; it distracted her more than she could take. “I realized something was really wrong with the sense of accomplishment I get from watching everyone else's dreams come true. I figured out that is exactly the problemâthey're everyone else's dreams. It's time for me to find my own.”
He slammed his hat on, and she could see the frustration in the set of his jaw. Why was he so frustrated?
“That's all well and good. But why can't your dreams include marriage?”
Now she was frustrated again. “I don't get why it matters to you so much, but if you must knowâI'd never take a chance on getting married and having kids and dragging them through anything like what I went through growing up.”
“Why would you think you'd do something like that to your kids? You wouldn't. Looks to me like you need to start believing in yourself a little more.”
Sheri's head was starting to spin. Couldn't the man hear? “Well, that's what I've been saying.”
“No, if that's what you'd been saying then you'd have enough sense to know that you'd be a great mother.” His expression was so intense that for an instant he had her believing him. Or at least wanting to believe him, but she didn't.
“That just shows how little you know about me. Look, I need to get the stuff for s'mores before there's a stampede.”
He studied her for a moment, then reached over her shoulder and opened the door. She slipped around the edge of it, her nerves jangling when he followed. She wanted him to go away.
Really needed him to go.
The last thing she needed was for him to make her wish for something she knew she'd never allow herself to have.
And that was exactly what was happening.
S
heri gave up on sleep at 5:00 a.m. and crept into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.
It had been a wild night in a house full of young girls. All the guys including Pace, Cort, Ron and the youth pastor who had brought the kids, were bunking down the lane at the house that had been Lilly's when she and Cort had married.
Sheri hadn't realized how lively ten-to-twelve-year-olds could be. Though she'd been told that she didn't have to stay up with them she'd known being alone after her disturbing encounter with Pace wasn't what she'd needed. So she'd stayed up and had a great time.
They'd sung and partied well past two in the morning. Once the girls realized she was a nail tech they'd whipped more polish than she had in her salon from their overnight bags and begged her to do manicures and pedicures. She'd been more than happy to oblige them, and for a few hours was able to derail thoughts of Pace.
But, no sooner than when everyone had finally sacked out sometime near three in the morning, did the thoughts of Pace roll in like the heavy fog.
Realizing the futility in trying to sleep, the lure of coffee and some sort of sweet comfort food drew her to Lilly's kitchen and Lilly's stash of banana taffy. Thankfully, Sheri knew where it was kept. Moving quietly around the kitchen she prepared the coffeemaker then lifted the lid off the large tin container that sat beside the back door. Inside was the chewy treat that Lilly and Samantha, Lilly's donkey, had a huge weakness for. Normally a chocolate girl herself, Sheri wasn't going to be choosy right now. She grabbed a handful of taffy and was ripping into a piece when a bumping noise drew her attention to the window beside the door.
“Ohhh!”
She almost dropped everything before realizing that the eyeball peering in at her belonged to Samantha. While Sheri recouped her calm and thanked the Lord that she hadn't screamed so loud she'd awakened the entire house, Samantha drew her blinking eye away from the windowpane, squished her nose and bulbous lips against the glass and pressed. The end result was what looked like velvet lips ringing gigantic teeth in a very odd smile.
It was then she understood Samantha had gotten a glimpse of the yellow candy in her hand and was hinting that she would enjoy sharing.
Despite her heavy heart Sheri chuckled. She quickly poured herself a cup of coffee, grabbed the candy and went outside to join the nosy animal on the porch.
“Hey, Samantha, how's it going, girlfriend?” She held out the already unwrapped piece of taffy, holding her palm flat as she'd seen Lilly do, and watched as the roly-poly burro placed her lips to her palm and very daintily picked up the treat. This animal was almost human, Sheri thought as she started walking and Samantha trotted beside her happily smacking away.
It was a lovely warm early morning and Sheri decided to walk. She carried her coffee and candy across the large gravel drive to the stables where she'd seen a double swing sitting. She eased down and sipped her coffee.
Not-to-be-forgotten Samantha stood beside her, eyeing the pocket that contained the taffy.
“Hey, stop eyeing the goodies. You're still smacking on your first piece.” She had to laugh when the burro swallowed with a gulp then puckered her lips indicating it was time for another.
“Ya little piglet. You're getting a little round on the sides there, ya know.” Samantha just blinked, as if to say that there were just some things in life worth sacrificing a good figure for. Sheri had to admit that the taffy was growing on her, too.
Tucking her feet beneath her, she set her cup on the armrest as she unwrapped two pieces of candy for each of them. A few seconds later, to the melodious sound of Samantha's smacking, Sheri stared out at the horizon and the thin thread of light separating night from morning. It reminded her of the morning Lacy dragged her to watch the mustangs arrive. The morning she met Pace. The morning her troubles began.
Today, there was a soft mist hovering over the ground
where the pasture sloped away from the yard. Sheri felt herself relax, lost in a sleepy daydream.
She'd recently watched the movie version of Jane Austen's classic romance,
Pride and Prejudice.
It wasn't an old Western, but she'd really enjoyed it. Thinking about it now, she realized Pace reminded her of Mr. Darcy with his quiet ways. The thought brought a tired smile to her lips. Not much of a reader she was a bit behind the curve, having never read the book. Over the years she'd heard comments about Mr. Darcy and she'd envisioned an older man with graying hair who was the butler or something. Not until the movie did she realize that Mr. Darcy was the handsome hero, prone to bouts of clipped words and a seemingly harsh attitude. But really, once you got past that he was actually magnificently wonderful.
Just like Pace.
In one of the most beautiful and romantic scenes of cinematography Sheri had ever admired, Mr. Darcy was filmed walking across the moors. Wearing a billowing white shirt, dark riding pants and boots, he advanced through the morning mist, appearing as if the heroine had dreamed him in her longing to see him. Now, sitting here watching the early dawn's mist glisten in the soft glow of light, Sheri's eyes felt heavy and she found herself watching and wishing that Pace would come. She could see Pace, tall and handsome, his hat off, his hair swept back from his face as if he'd been running his hands through it restlessly waiting for morning's light so that he could follow his heart to her.
Sheri's heartbeat drummed at the base of her neck as
ridiculously she strained to find Pace in the mist. Of course, it was only a movie and a make-believe hero. Sheri blinked and looked away from the horizon to the empty coffee cup she held limply in her hand. She hadn't even remembered drinking the coffee she'd been so lost in her imaginings.
She closed her eyes reliving the look in Pace's eyes when he'd asked her to start overâ¦
And her heart wished it could.
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“Don't touch her, Frankie.”
“I wasn't gonna. Do you think she slept out here?”
“What happened to her hair?”
“What's the big deal? That's how my mom looks when she wakes up in the morning.”
“Ick. You mean you gotta look at that every day?”
“That's how moms look. You get used to it.”
Sheri was dreaming. In her dream she could hear boys talking but couldn't see what they were talking about. Groggily she rubbed her eyes, stretched and rolled over on the small twin bed, settling in for a little longer. Funny she hadn't remembered the bed being so small and bumpy.
“Hey, guys, what are y'all looking at?”
Sheri jumped, recognizing Pace's voice as she rolled off her bed. She woke with a start lying facedown in the grass staring at a pair of scuffed cowboy boots with exaggerated silver spurs.
“I guess it goes without saying that you didn't have a good night,” Pace drawled from above her.
Looking up, Sheri found herself gazing into his
laughing eyes. He was flanked by six ten-year-old boys who were gawking at her as if she were an alien from another planet. If she looked as bad as she felt then it was pretty nightmarish.
Her mouth was so dry she knew she'd been sleeping on the swing with it wide open. Swallowing hard, she blinked and wished she could sink into a hole and disappear. It took her a moment to remember why she was even outside.
“Okay, the show's over. Move 'em out, boys.”
“Sure thing, Mr. Pace,” one boy said, turning to leave but stopping to grin back at him. “But you gotta admit it was way funny finding her lying asleep out here with her mouth hanging open like that.”
“Yeah,” crooned another one. “Man, I wonder if she swallowed any bugs.”
Sheri choked.
Pace smiled down at her and held out a hand. “Come on, you can get up now.”
She took the offered hand and let him pull her up off the ground. Instantly remembering the weird vision she'd had as the pleasant thrill of Pace's touch brought thoughts of Mr. Darcy crossing through the mist.
She tried to pull her hand free the moment she was on her feet.
“No,” he said, holding her hand securely then tugging her within inches of him. Unlike her, he was freshly showered and smelled so good she wanted to lean in and just breathe him in, all zesty and fresh. Instead she tugged her hand harder and stepped away from him when he released it.
His smile said he knew exactly what she was doing. Just as she suspected he'd known exactly what he'd been doing when he'd tugged her so close and held her hand so long.
What was he up to now?
Had the man not heard a word she'd said last night? She'd laid everything out clearly and he looked and acted as if nothing had happened.
“Cute outfit,” he said, his smoky gaze drifting down her, humor lacing his words.
Sheri looked down and realized she was wearing her smiley-face cotton pajama pants and a bright yellow sleeveless T-shirt. “Funny man,” she snapped, irritated. “What time is it?”
“It's seven, grumpy. The guys wanted to come down and get a head start riding the horses before breakfast. If I'd known we'd find you here I'd have come earlier.”
“Breakfast! I need to go help Lilly,” she gasped, thankful she had someplace to be instead of here. Pace was barking up the wrong tree if he thought she was going to change her mind about what she'd said. It didn't matter that she'd hardly slept, or even if she managed to eat a bug. Or that she'd gotten all mushy with her lack of sleep. Mr. Darcy, indeed! What had she been thinking?
She had a job to finish here, and then she had a path to find. The only way that path was going to include Pace was if God changed her DNA.
And she didn't see that happening.
She could never trust herself not to follow in the footsteps of her parents.
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After a rowdy breakfast they took the kids on a hayride. It was the first one that Sheri had ever been on so she was as excited as the kids, even with the strain of her confrontation with Pace hanging over her head.
Determined to get her head back on straight she'd refocused her energies on the opportunity she'd been given to be around the group of youths. She'd actually relaxed about being around them now. Everything changed when she'd been painting the zillions of sets of toes and fingers they'd had her paint. It was really weird when she realized that instead of the girls being scared off, they were actually seeking her out. She didn't guard herself around them and she thought that might have been part of why they liked her.
By the time everyone loaded onto the hay-covered flatbed trailer that Cort was pulling behind his tractor, Sheri was more than ready to sink into the soft hay surrounded by a gaggle of giggling girls.
Lilly had the most beautiful singing voice Sheri had ever heard and soon had everyone joining in as they rode along through the pastures. Cort drove them through freshly-mowed hay fields and along the perimeter of a large tree-shrouded pond.
The kids spotted several animals along the way, including a rattlesnake. When one of the boys pointed it out all the girls screamed, including Sheri. She hated snakes and had no problem admitting it. Pace was sitting at the back of the trailer with Pastor Ron and was able to calm everyone's fears.
The man had no trouble getting the kids' attention.
When he spoke everyone listened, and he was good with them. Sheri was a little surprised at that. But why shouldn't they like him? She watched him with interest as he explained to the group that they were too far away for the snake to harm them, but that it was a good reminder to be careful when they were out and about. Very quickly the boys started asking Pace questions about his life as a cowboy. One question led to another and soon they had him telling stories about living alone out in the deserted country. Sheri wondered if he even realized how easily he was interacting with the kids.
Despite her need to distance herself from thinking about him, Sheri was mesmerized, as usual, listening to Pace talk about his past. Who wouldn't be? He'd been right in following the path he felt the Lord had called him to seek out. He could be a great influence.
The hayride turned into a lesson in respecting nature. It was obvious he still missed his Idaho and that he loved the wilderness of the Great Basin. Goodness, listening to him talk she wanted to go live in a shack in the vast wilderness herself.
He had an endearing way of telling about his many adventures that drew a person to listen to what he had to say. Sheri was not surprised by the way the kids on the trailer hung on his every word.
He'd come to Mule Hollow looking to be used by God, looking to move out of his comfort zone and reach for something he couldn't see but that he knew God wanted him to go after. Sheri admired him for what he'd done, and she had a sense of pride knowing that his dream was going to come true. God was already
using him and she knew in her heart that this was only the beginning.
Sheri's longing to find God's path in her life grew watching Pace. God had a plan for her life, and she had finally decided she was going to seek it out. The Bible said, “Seek and ye shall find.” Well, she was going to do just that, and she wasn't going to let anything stop her.