Meant to Be (10 page)

There was my opening. “Mike will be. He’s such a sweet caring man, but he’s also such a joy. He’ll be the life of the party until the day he dies. He’ll be a wonderful husband and father. It took him a while to get to this point, but I know he’ll never change.”

Cassandra nodded then took a drink.

“Do you ever think about marriage?” I was trying to be discreet but I didn’t think I was being very good about it.

She shrugged. “I’m sure Mike told you that I never want to get married.” There was
a sadness in her voice. “And now I realize that was the point of this visit.” She smirked. “I walked right into that one.”

I was caught in the act. “I did want to have a conversation about it
…”

She sighed, her fingers touching the rim of her glass. “Fire away.”

“You two are perfect for each other.”

“I know.”

“Really?”

“He’s the other half of me.” She stared at her glass, her eyes distant. “When I got married the first time, I thought the same thing about Zander. We were inseparable, madly in love. I’m not an adventurous girl. Getting my tattoo is about the craziest thing I’ve ever done. But I thought it was okay because we’d be together forever. And then he cheated on me.” There was no sadness in her voice.
Just a calm understanding. “It took me a while to accept it. It didn’t seem like something he would ever do, and not just to me, but to anyone. Even when the evidence was right in front of my face, I didn’t want to believe it. But it was true. Completely and utterly.

“When I signed the divorce papers, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to. Even after everything he did to me, how he humiliated me in front of everyone I knew, I still loved him. As twisted and wrong as that sounds.” She took a deep breath and fell silent. I wasn’t sure if she was done speaking so I didn’t say anything. “It took me a year to finally get over it. I never went out and I never did anything. I went to work then I hit the gym for two hours. Afterwards, I went home and sat in the dark. To say I was depressed was an understatement. But then, finally, I got back on my feet and told myself I’d never put myself through that again. I thought Zander was my soul mate, my one true love, but I was totally wrong. I know I love Mike and I don’t want to be with anyone else, but I could be wrong about him too.”

Her words tugged at my heart. It was hard to make a stance against the argument. After Sean broke my heart, I couldn’t see myself with anyone, and honestly, I probably would have behaved the same way. “I understand.”

“You do?” She peeked at me from under her long eyelashes.

“Of course I do. But I think you’re going to get hurt no matter what you do. It’s a risk every person takes when they open their heart to someone else. But wouldn’t you rather give it your all and crash and burn instead of investing only a small sliver of yourself?”

Cassandra looked away again. “I only have a small sliver left. Moving in with Mike was a huge jump for me. I’m surprised I even did that.”

“Then make one more jump.”

She shook her head then looked at the table.

“Sean and I broke up twice before he pulled his shit together. He betrayed my trust and made me fall to the ground. But somehow, I forgave him and gave him another chance. No one will ever understand how scared I was. But I was willing to get hurt again for the possibility that I would get my happily ever after—which I did.” She looked at me again, studying my face. “On the day of my wedding, I ran out on Sean.” Her eyes widened in surprise. “Ryan took me out of town to a hotel while we waited for our flight. He tried to convince me I was making a mistake, but I didn’t listen to him. Sean hurt me too many times and I couldn’t risk feeling that pain again. But Ryan told me I was going to get hurt no matter what I did. If I left Sean and ended up with someone else, they would hurt me down the road. And Sean would hurt me too. So he asked me if Sean was worth the risk. And of course, he was.”

“What did you do?” she whispered.

“Ryan and I hauled ass back to the ceremony.” I grinned.

“Did he ever find out?”

I nodded. “We talked when I came back. He told me he didn’t care as long as I still married him. And he got down on his knees and begged me to marry him, tears in his eyes.”

Her eyes softened. “That’s so sweet.”

“I knew I wasn’t making a mistake. And even if he does hurt me at some point, I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“Really? Even if he cheats on you and leaves you for someone else?”

The possibility made me sick to my stomach. But I knew Sean would never do that. He was obsessed with me to the point of insanity. “Even if this relationship ends in divorce, I would do it all over again.” And I meant it.

She nodded then played with a strand of her hair.

“Mike loves you so much, Cassandra. You can’t make an argument that he doesn’t. Because I promise you’ll lose.”

“I know he does,” she said gently.

“You knew what he wanted when you met him. Mike made it crystal clear. He wanted a wife and kids, someone he could grow old with and raise a family. He wants what Sean and I have, and frankly, he deserves it. If you didn’t want the same thing and you knew you wouldn’t change your mind, you shouldn’t have let it get this far.” I knew I was being rude by saying this, but this was my brother we were talking about. And I would defend him until the end of time.

“I know,” she whispered. “I know.” The sadness escaped her voice. It was heartbreaking. “But somehow, I fell in love with him during our first conversation. It just happened. I can’t explain it.”

“You don’t need to explain it.”

“And…I just didn’t want to lose him.”

“Then marry him.”

She was quiet for over a minute. “Scarlet, I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“You’d rather lose him than take another chance? Mike isn’t Zander. He’s not a cheater and he’s not a liar. He’s never been in a relationship before because he knew he couldn’t be faithful. You’re the first one because he knows without a doubt you’re the one. That’s the most assurance you’re ever going to need.”

“I won’t lose him,” she said quickly. “Mike said he accepts my decision.”

I was starting to get angry. “You’re going to let him sacrifice his dream because you’re scared? That’s not love, Cassandra.” My voice was cold.

She leaned back in her chair, moving away from me. I clearly intimidated her. I didn’t raise my voice and I didn’t change my facial expression, but the threat was clear as crystal. 
She swallowed the lump in her throat and averted her gaze.

“Why don’t you want to have kids?”

She shrugged. “I don’t think I’d be a good mother.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never been around kids. I don’t know the first thing about raising a child.”

“You think Sean and I do? Believe me, it’s going to be a madhouse when we finally have our first baby. There will be sleepless nights and infinite arguments. We’re going to make mistakes and we’re going to screw up. We aren’t perfect. No one is. If Mike isn’t scared, you shouldn’t be. You’ll figure it out when you get there.”

“I don’t know…”

“Stop being scared,” I snapped. “I don’t understand you. You’re such a strong and independent woman, but when security and love come into the mix, you put your tail between your legs and cower away. That’s not the Cassandra I know. Not the girl Mike fell in love with.”

She started to get frustrated. “You don’t understand…”

“I don’t understand?” I said incredulously. “I know we’ve known each other for a short time, so here’s what you need to know about me. My dad died before I started high school. Without him there, my mom turned on us because she never wanted kids. He made her do it. Lit cigarette
s were shoved deep into my skin anytime I said the wrong thing.” I pulled the strap of my dress down to show her the mark. “Ryan had an ashtray thrown at his head—more than once. I was scared every single day. There was no getting out.

“Ryan worked his own job but he stayed at the house to protect me, even when he was a legal adult. He helped me get into college and got me the hell out of there. My dad left
me and Ryan money to go to college, but my mom never gave it to me. She was a bitch and a terror. And to top it off, she came to my wedding to ruin the happiest day of my life.

“When I worked as an editor for R and R, my boss sexual
ly harassed me and assaulted me. Sean slept with my best friend because his fiancé dumped him, and then he left me for her when we were together. So don’t sit there and say you’re scared to marry Mike because everything you’ve been through. Because if we are going to throw our cards on the table, I’ll beat you every time. Now buck up and stop acting like a child.”

She flinched at my words and her eyes were wide, but she didn’t react in any specific way. We stared at each other for a long time, trying to determine what the other person would do.

Cassandra spoke first. Her voice was restrained like she was trying not to snap. “I’m sorry to hear about all those things happening to you. I am. And I admire you for becoming the strong woman you are now. But that’s your story. Not mine. All I know is what I’ve been through. If I don’t want to get married, that’s my decision. I know Mike told me he wanted something serious when he met, but I also told him I never wanted to get married. We were both aware of each other’s intentions when we met, but we both put that aside so we could be together. So why should I sacrifice what I believe in to make him happy? This is a two-way street.”

We were just going in circles. I said everything I could possibly say to talk some sense into her. Mike deserved what he really wanted, not someone who would only give
a part of herself. “This is how it is, Cassandra; make the sacrifice or lose him. It’s your call.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Mike said that?”

“No. But I know he’s thinking it.”

“He said he wouldn’t leave me.”

“And I’m sure he meant that—at the time. But he can’t stay like this forever. He wants something more, and honestly, he deserves a lot more than what you’re offering him. If he wasn’t a trustworthy guy, I’d understand your point of view. But he is. He’s been Mr. Perfect since the moment you met. He dated you for months without even kissing you. Everything he does, he does it for you. I’ve never seen him bust his ass for a single girl before. He’d give you the damn moon if that’s what you wanted. So, if you want to be stupid, fine. You’re going to lose the greatest thing that ever happened to you, the second chance you deserve. I warned you. I sincerely hope you take my words to heart and think about it.”

Her lips were pressed close and her eyes shined bright like the moss on trees. They were deep and green, buzzing with life and strength. But she didn’t speak.

I rose from the booth. “Goodbye, Cassandra.”

“You’re saying that like it’s the last time we’ll see each other.”

“Because I have a feeling it is.”

I texted Ryan when I was on the road.
Leaving.

K.

I gripped the steering wheel while I drove, feeling the anger shoot through me like a sprinkler. I loved Cassandra and thought she was a wonderful girl, but I didn’t like her simple dismissal of Mike. I’d do anything to make Sean happy, and he would do the same for me. That’s how real love worked.

Sean called me when I was almost to the house.

“Hello?” I said.

“Where the hell are you?”

I didn’t need this right now. “I’m almost home. I’ll see you then.”

“I said, where the hell are you?”

“I’m driving.”

“Where?” he snapped.

“I’ll be at the house in forty-five seconds.” I hung up and tossed the phone in the passenger seat. Sometimes Sean was so protective it drove me insane.

When I pulled into the driveway, Sean was standing there, his arms by his sides. The anger shined b
right in his eyes. I smelled a fight in the air.

I got out of the car and slammed the door.

He didn’t reach for me when I stopped in front of him. “Where were you?”

“In the city.”

“Why?”

“Why the fuck are you interrogating me? It’s none of your business why I was in the city.”

His eyes flashed with anger. “I’d appreciate it if you just told me you were leaving the house. I don’t like not knowing where you are.”

“I don’t know where you are every second of the damn day.”

“Actually, you do. I tell you everything. And I expect the same courtesy. How do you think I felt when I came home at eleven and my wife wasn’t here?”

“All you had to do was call and ask.”

“Or you could just tell me so I wouldn’t stress about it.”

I rubbed my temples because I wasn’t in the mood for this. “We’re on hold.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“I had a really shitty night and I don’t need this right now. So this fight is on hold until I feel better.”

“That goes two ways.”

“Fine.”

He shut his mouth and stared at me.

“I’m going inside.” I stepped around him and headed to the door.