I am.
I feel warmth flow through me as I close my hand.
Someone’s holding on to me. My problems are lifted from my shoulders as I float outside of my body. It’s nice not having a care in the world. I can get used to this. It feels good.
There’s a light burning behind my eyes, but I don’t want to face it. It seems too bright, like it would hurt more than staring at the sun. I’m not in the dark, but I’m not completely in the light either. It’s like some sort of strange eclipse between worlds. Somewhere I’ve never been before. I’m intrigued. I want to stay. I want to learn more.
My ears are blocked like they’re filled with cotton. Noises are muffled and I can’t make out any of the words being said. The only thing cutting through is a beep, a metallic rhythm that sounds foreign like it doesn’t belong here. It’s too sharp, too grating, too repetitive. Why won’t it just go away and let me sleep? I’m so tired. All I want to do is rest, but that beeping noise won’t quit.
I move my head and the fingers surrounding my hand tighten, tethering me to that other world. But I don’t want to go back there. Why can’t they just leave me alone? Why are they pulling me toward that place of pain, that agony that ripped through me? I can’t believe someone would be so cruel as to make me experience that again. I give up. I surrender. I don’t want to fight anymore.
But there’s that beeping again. I can’t ignore it. It’s what is drawing me back, calling out to me through the fog. My heart recognizes and responds, beating in sync to it. What is this force and why does it have such a hold over me? Why won’t it just let me be? Why does it need me so much?
“Ivy…” I hear my name whispered through the haze. It knows who I am. It’s summoning me, but I don’t know if I want to respond. I’m too tired. I just want to sleep.
But the beeping gets stronger. It’s incessant. It won’t stop. It’s like an alarm clock I can’t turn off. It won’t let me doze. It doesn’t have a snooze button.
I groan, moving my head, trying to twist away from the sound.
“She’s coming around,” someone says as a silhouette hovers over the light, blocking it from view. I’m scared. I don’t know what’s happening, but I don’t want to leave. I feel safe here, protected. Nothing can harm me. If I wake up, I won’t be immune anymore. I’ll be barraged by pain and I don’t think I’m strong enough to deal with it anymore. I’m weaker than I’ve ever been. It’s going to crush me. I have to resist its pull. I have to.
The pressure on my hand increases again. Whoever it is refuses to let go. But I’m so wretched. I’m not worth holding on to. I’ve made a terrible mistake, one that I’ll never be able to come back from. I can’t hurt him like that. I can’t.
“Ivy, it’s me. I’m right here with you.” And then I hear his voice, and it cuts through my resistance. It’s what I’ve been waiting for. It’s all I’ve wanted to hear. “Open your eyes and come back to me. Don’t fight it.”
He wants me back even after all I’ve done to him. Does he know? Will he still love me when he finds out? Is he really here or am I imagining him? I have to find out, even if it kills me.
I follow the sound of the beeps, straining for consciousness. They are guiding me home, back to where I need to go. I’m not ready yet. It’s not my time. My story isn’t over yet. I have work left to do.
Slowly, I flutter my eyes and immediately wish I’d have kept them closed as a searing shot of light makes my retinas burn. I blink, trying to look away, and when I do I come face to face with the man I love. Any thought of wanting to stay away from him immediately vanishes. Nothing can replace the tenderness of his gaze, its warmth shooting straight to my heart.
“Hello, beautiful,” Eric says, brushing his thumb against my knuckle, my hand firmly ensconced in his.
Just looking into his eyes, it all comes rushing back. The blood. The cramping. The pressure. Our baby. Oh God, our baby.
He sees the panic flash across my face, and I feel his other hand caress my forehead. Why isn’t he saying anything? Why won’t he tell me what happened? The beeping increases. I try to find its source, but Eric holds me firmly in place.
“Shhh, calm down. Everything’s going to be okay. The baby’s fine. We just can’t have you getting all excited again.” Eric’s words comfort me like nothing else can. I relax against his hand, squeezing his in return. I try to speak, but my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth. I can’t utter a word.
“It’s all right, Miss Thompson. Just take some deep breaths for me,” an unfamiliar voice instructs me. “Your heartbeat is steady. We need to keep it that way.”
“Listen to the doctor, Ivy. You don’t have to say anything. Just breathe, okay?” Eric smiles down at me, his eyes moist with the tears that are threatening to fall.
I nod slightly and try to swallow. My mouth is so dry. I move my other arm, but it’s connected to some kind of wire. It tugs uncomfortably against my skin, so I stop what I’m doing and just lie still, concentrating on my breathing. Our baby is still here with me. I didn’t lose it. That alone fills me with a relief I can’t express.
“She’s doing good, Mr. Young. You can stay in here with her, but keep the talking to a minimum. I need her to rest for the sake of the baby. We’re not out of the woods yet.” The doctor rustles through a chart before reading the screen that’s monitoring my vitals.
“I won’t disturb her. I promise.” Eric’s voice is gruff as he tries not to give in to his emotions in front of her.
“She’s already doing better, knowing you’re here. Her heart rate is where I’d like it to be, and it seems like she’s responding well to the oxygen. Just keep her comfortable and I’ll be back to check on her in an hour.” The doctor gives Eric a quick nod before exiting the room.
We’re finally alone.
“Oh, Ivy…” he murmurs, pressing his lips against my temple. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”
I want to respond, but I already feel the tug of sleep pulling me under. I can’t keep my eyes open as the image of his face drifts out of my vision. The beeping of my heart is lulling me to sleep. I can’t resist its call.
***
I’m in the void until I hear Eric’s voice again.
“You’re telling me you had no idea she was behind this? C’mon, what kind of idiot do you take me for?”
He sounds mad. I don’t know how long I’ve been out, but I don’t want to wake up to him like this, even though he has every right to be angry.
“I’m telling you, I didn’t know it was her. No one did.”
It’s Will. Eric’s fighting with Will. I have to stop them from arguing. We need to stick together. Now is not the time to turn on each other. But it feels like lead weights are holding my eyes shut. I’m starting to drift again. No, I have to hold on. They can’t keep fighting like this.
“So basically she threatened Ivy in front of a restaurant full of witnesses and then simply waltzed out the door before anyone could stop her? I find that hard to believe.” Eric’s voice is low but deadly.
“I got scared when I saw the blood. My sole focus was on Ivy. I didn’t think she’d bolt. I mean, who does shit like that?” Will whispers back.
“But if you had detained her, we could have pressed charges for endangering the life of the baby.” Eric seems frazzled, like he’s grasping at straws. He begins to get more agitated. “She’s all about maintaining her image.”
“Lower your voice, man. Do you really want that nurse coming back in here, telling us to keep it down?” Will warns, jiggling the blinds as he peers out the window. “I don’t do hospital rooms. You’re lucky I’m even here. I’m already starting to feel claustrophobic.”
“This isn’t about you, asshole, in case you haven’t noticed.” Eric gets closer to the bed and his hand finds my cheek. I move my mouth, but my lips are chapped and nothing comes out.
“Oh, I think it is,” Will says then changes his tune when Eric shoves his chair, getting to his feet. “Listen, I’m sorry about what happened to Ivy. I really am, but this whole thing isn’t just about the two of you. There are other people involved too. We have to think this through and decide what we’re going to do as a team.”
“But how could you just sit there and let Lauren goad her like that? I mean, you had to have noticed that Ivy was in distress. Why couldn’t you be a man and get Lauren to stop?” Eric’s voice is heated, but he retakes his seat.
“I was overwhelmed.” Will paces in front of the bed. “Lauren was coming at us from every direction. It was like being pinned against a wall while facing a firing squad. My head was spinning. I didn’t even realize Ivy was in trouble until—”
“Until it was almost too late,” Eric cuts him off.
“But the baby’s fine. Nothing happened,” Will responds a little too cheerfully.
“You know that’s not true. Ivy is going to have to be closely observed for the remainder of her pregnancy in order to ensure the health of the baby. They’re even recommending bed rest from this point forward. So don’t even think she’s going to be working on some damn screenplay in order to save your ass.” Eric sounds tough, but I know he’s scared out of his mind. The thought of losing another baby must be eating him up inside.
“It’s not just my ass and you know it,” Will counters, braving his wrath. “We can limit her hours. I can do the typing. All she has to do is lie there. Just as long as we get the pages to Lauren, we’ll be okay.”
“So you’ve been in contact with her?” Eric grunts. “Why am I not surprised?”
“She called me back after I left her a message about Ivy,” Will protests, turning around as his shoe squeaks loudly on the tiled floor. “I had to know what was going on and how she was going to play this.”
“And?” Eric asks dryly.
“She gave me the whole false sincerity bullshit, but she expects us to get back on schedule once Ivy is released from the hospital.” Even Will sounds defeated as he pats my leg beneath the blanket. “There’s no getting out of it. She’s not going to let us walk away. She thinks that if Ivy can breathe then she can write.”
“I can’t fucking believe this,” Eric mumbles, his voice muffled as he holds his head in his hands.
“Tell me about it,” Will groans. “It took us months to come up with the first draft and she’s only giving us until Christmas, basically a little over eight weeks to turn it around. It’s going to be virtually impossible in Ivy’s fragile condition, but try telling her that. As soon as Ivy gets back on her feet, she’s going to want to do it. She’ll think she can swoop in and save the both of us.”
“And what’s gnawing at me is that we might not have a choice. If Lauren starts calling in my loans, I can’t repay them. Everything’s going to collapse like a house of cards. I can’t bring this baby into the world without any means of supporting it. She has us, plain and simple.” Eric says, sounding confused and out of options.
“You really think she has that much sway over the bank manager?” Will asks, filling a glass from a pitcher of water positioned somewhere near my head.
“Sway? Her stepdad sits on the board of directors. You might as well say he owns the bank. If I default, it’ll hurt my credit rating across the board. I might not be able to purchase new inventory next spring. I’ll be dead in the water. I’m barely hanging on as it is. One ripple like that and it’s all over.” Eric shifts in the chair, rustling the cushion beneath him.
“Ivy knew her stepdad long before Lauren did. She even mentioned to me once how much he liked her when she was still friends with Ryan. Do you really think he’d ruin her like that?” Will questions before nervously gulping down the water.
“That’s the thing. He wouldn’t be ruining her. He’d be ruining me—the guy who created a public spectacle kissing his stepdaughter, the guy who stole Ivy then beat up his son. Yeah, I don’t think he’d have any problem burying me,” Eric admits, sitting back in the chair with a sigh.
“But it’d be affecting her too, wouldn’t it?” Will presses. “I mean, she is pregnant with your child and the two of you live together. If you lose your house and your business, then she’s homeless and broke too.”
“Not if she loses the baby and goes back to school,” Eric mutters under his breath.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. You really think they’d sink that low?” Will grips the edge of the blanket, slightly pulling it down from around my shoulders.
“Ivy was writhing in pain in a puddle of her own blood and Lauren walked away, leaving her there. That right there tells me she’s capable of anything.” Eric’s hand is back on my forehead as I feel his warm breath on my face.
“So are you going to go ahead with your plan to take Ivy back to Pennsylvania when she’s able to travel?” Will questions somewhat nervously.
“Yeah, there’s no way I’m leaving her in L.A. She needs the safety and security of those she loves around her. I’m not letting her out of my sight again.” Eric leans down and gently kisses my closed eyelids.
“There’s just one little problem,” Will interjects, getting up and wheeling what sounds like a suitcase out of the corner of the room. “Dave had Warren kick me out of their poolhouse. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
“And why should I care?” Eric asks, annoyed.
“Because I hold the rights to this little screenplay, and without me, Lauren doesn’t get to ruin your former flame.” Will huffs, hitting Eric where it counts.
“What do you mean former?” Eric seethes.
“Oh yeah, that’s right. This is the part we didn’t get a chance to discuss yet.” Will scoots his chair closer to the bed as I feel him lean over my body.
I wish I could kick him to shut up. He can’t tell Eric about Cassidy. He’ll freak. He needs to hear it from me. Someone who will break it to him gently and not rub it in his face. This is going to send Eric over the edge—if he’s not already there. Damn it, Will. Why do you always have to be such a prick?
“I’m all ears,” Eric says mockingly, stretching his arms above his head. “Tell me why I should support your sorry ass while you work on this with Ivy? Because truthfully, I don’t want you anywhere near her.”
“You’re offering me a place to stay?” Will asks, taken aback.
“I might if you can pick up the slack and let Ivy rest,” Eric muses aloud. “If you need Ivy to come up with the ideas, fine. But she’s not going to be spending hours hunched over a computer or communicating with Lauren in any way. You’re going to handle the majority of the workload, serving as the go-between when it comes to the two of them.”