Me Without You (36 page)

"You sealed your fate," Jonah blurted
out suddenly, changing the subject. "Why?"

"You know why," Hugh answered, his
voice turning husky. He cleared his throat instantly and moved
closer to Jonah.

"I don't know why—" Jonah
said.

"Because I—" Hugh said.

"You know what? I don't want to know—"
Jonah told him.

Hugh lowered his head and his lips met
Jonah's in a kiss. But just as soon as their lips locked, Jonah
held her hands in his chest and pushed him gently away from
her.

"Hugh, please!" Jonah said. "I need to
settle things with—"

"I know! I'll wait. I've got forever,
you know. But you don't," Hugh said chuckling. He gathered Jonah in
his arms. And just like before she had never felt safe and
protected than she did as she allowed herself to nestle in Hugh's
encircled arms.

"What's it like?" Jonah blurted
out.

"What is what like?" Hugh
asked.

"The feeling of forever?" Jonah
said.

"I don't know. I wasn't even thinking a
while ago when I sealed it. I was only thinking of you. Always
thinking of you. Forever—" Hugh murmured in her hair. "I don't
think of it the way I think of now. Holding you right here, right
now. This is it, Jonah! Right here with you. Now is
forever!"

* * * * *

Hugh made sure that it was safe for
Jonah and Aunt Judith when he dropped them both home the next day
on his way to the hospital to see Xavier. With all the excitement
about Xavier last night, Jane had managed to escape somehow and
nobody bothered with her anymore. It was also Aunt Judith who
requested not to alert the police. Even the Livelys had not
contemplated on pressing charges…not yet anyway.

Jonah went up Jane's room immediately.
On the way, she scanned her surroundings with her colorful vision
and noticed that not a single broken piece was evident to give
light to what happened last night. It must have been Mara's doing.
Even Jane's room was tidied up just as usual. As if Jane hadn't
left at all. But when she opened the closet, it was
empty.

Jonah recalled what Jane had told her
when she was packing. And fresh tears formed in Jonah's eyes. It
was painful that Jane did what she had done. There was nothing to
pay for Jane's betrayal towards her. But the memories she shared
with Jane was beyond her pain. It was an almost absurd feat but she
pitied Jane more than she was angry at her sister.

Jonah walked to the coffee table and
there was Brice's laptop sitting on top of it. The screen had
darkened but when Jonah moused over, an image appeared on screen.
Although, she only saw a body of white with colors around it, Jonah
knew it was a picture of her with Brice, Jane and Jervais. It was a
photo taken of the four of them, years and years ago, she could
still clearly see when and were it was taken even if she couldn't
even recall they even had it.

Jonah sat down and just clicked through
Brice's recent files. And a video recording started playing. It was
probably the last of Brice's recording before he died. Jonah could
see the outline of Brice speaking to his camera.

Even before Brice could even speak,
Jonah was already crying. There was the consistent clicking of his
lighter and Jonah knew he was smoking one cigarette after another
while he spoke. From the voice she was hearing, she had a vision of
Brice in a disheveled form the way he was when she saw him lying on
the ground. Even when she had caught him early in the morning a
hundred times, he probably couldn't look worse than he was that
day. Jonah could vision out his unkempt hair. And there was
probably the shadow of stubbles showing, when he never liked anyone
to see his face unshaven. And maybe his eyes had dark rings around
them.

"Hey, you guys!" Brice was speaking.
"Did you even think I was going to lose it like this? I never
thought it. The death of your mother did it. She was the only
figure who seemed to keep us together. But now she's gone, I almost
wished it wasn't so. At least we had something to keep us
together—we were a family against Rebecca Blood. Now, I feel so
alone—like an orphan. And you guys—you looked like you had moved on
so quickly. How did you do that, by the way?" he stopped speaking
and Jonah could see movement. Brice had buried his face on his
arms, which was on top of the table. The screen was only showing
Brice's top of the head and part of his shoulders and his back
shaking. When he stirred up again, there was no doubt that he had
been crying even if Jonah could not see his face, all wet with his
tears. He continued to speak, "I am not going to hold on longer.
And please forgive me if I have to put you through this. I love
you, guys. And I—well, that's it for me," he stopped
again.

Jonah was seeing Brice moving. It had
looked like Brice was leaving the camera and going to the inner
part of his unit and the only things Jonah could see were immobile
colors she pictured to be his shelves, his couch and the African
violets in the background.

Hugging both her legs and rocking to
and fro, Jonah allowed her tears to burst forth in torrents. She
just cried and cried, she wasn't sure how it was going to stop. And
yet, she knew, it will stop. But she just poured everything out.
Recalling what Xavier taught her, she wept even louder and
stronger. Then, she howled some more. She could hear herself
sounding like a pig ready for slaughter. And it sounded funny and
inauthentic. Then, she burst out laughing.

That was how Jervais found Jonah in
Jane's room—in hysterics. Jervais went over to Jonah and embraced
her tight. The tears began again but multiplied as Jervais joined
in seeing Brice's unit on screen.

It was Jervais who recovered first. She
wiped her face with her hands and said, "We have got to stop this,
Jonah!"

"Yeah, I know!" Jonah said wiping her
own face.

"Jemmah is downstairs," Jervais
announce joyfully.

Jonah smiled and replied, "Really?
That's great news!"

"I reckon Jane had already gone out
last night," Jervais said. "So where is she?"

"I honestly don't know!" Jonah said.
She was thinking it was probably not the right time to tell Jervais
everything that had happened. She did not want to ruin Jemmah's
homecoming after all. Someday though, she knew she had to tell
Jervais about it. And she was hoping, by the time she will explain
about Jane, she had already learned to tell it without the
pain.

"And I met the back-up at the
hospital," Jervais said. "He wants me to tell you that your boy—the
ex—X, is now ready to accept guests and he wants to see
you."

"Well, he will—" Jonah said. Xavier was
another part of her life which had its own moment. For there was no
doubt, Xavier was an important part of her—the part where there was
calm and clarity but not without the sense of aching. But time
again will tell how everything will finally give way to forgetting
and letting go. And Hugh…he will just have to wait just as he said
so and get a shot at every stolen moments they both have when the
world went away and it was just the two of them. Jonah was
confident that Hugh will always find a way for those moments. She
smiled and told Jervais, "Let's welcome Jemmah home!"

The two went down to the kitchen where
Jerone and Jemmah were. Even Aunt Judith went out of her
basement-suite to be her usual scowling self.

"There you are! Where have you two
been," Jerone said. She was fussing over Jemmah like a mother-hen,
which used to be Jane's role. "And where is Jane for heaven's sake.
She's supposed to be here!"

"Humph!" Aunt Judith said, looking up
from her cup of coffee. "The girl has probably run away by now!"
Forgetting that Jonah had not gotten back her regular sight, she
held Jonah's eyes and gave her a small, undetected wink which
Jervais had caught on and thought was totally misplaced from her
usual demeanor.

"With Damian?" Jemmah slurred. "'Bout
time!"

"Are they—" Jervais began to
ask.

"You girls were too young to witness
how your mother almost threw Jane into exile in some small witch
island in Asia when she found out that the two were in love,"
Jerone said. "Fortunately for Jane, she had serviced your mother
too well that she was indispensable at that time. Speaking of witch
island, how's the witch hunt for the new healer?"

"Oh, there's nothing to it anymore,"
Aunt Judith said. "A new rumor is circulating among the healers
now. Although, nobody knows who, it has already been sealed through
that Lively boy."

"Well, that's good news then! Now, we
can all go back to our regular lives," Jerone said. "But who is it
anyway, Aunt Judith? The new one—"

"Isn't the Lively boy your boyfriend,
Jonah?" Jemmah interrupted. Then, as if she had been hit by a
sudden realization, her eyes became round with interest.

Jonah and Jervais exchanged meaningful
looks.

"My X!" Jonah said.

After searching Jonah's face, Jemmah
just shrugged her shoulders and said, "Well, it's about time you
see other guys. You're young anyway."

"Since Jane is not here, I am going to
arrange a thanksgiving ceremony before we join Brice's ashes to
dad's. And of course, a thanksgiving for Jenssen and Jemmah too. We
ought to be celebrating the lives of people more even before
they're gone." Jerone declared, mustering some cheerfulness.
However, the Blood sisters became quiet all of a sudden with a
strong presence of some sort in the air which they all felt
together.

"Humph!" Aunt Judith said, breaking the
cloud which seemed to have settled through them. "Just get it done
and over with!"

Jonah sighed. Almost everything had
continued to their regular pattern. Although, things were not
really the same for her anymore, she knew she will learn to adapt
to the changes that will present itself in every moment of now that
can go on forever if she chose to seal it someday.