Me & My Boyfriend (4 page)

Black still didn't open the car door for her, but for once she didn't care, she had other things on her mind. Black popped in an old Jodeci CD. They both sat in silence and vibed off the slow music. Half way through the ride, Meesa finally turned and faced Black.

Remembering what happened the last time she was in his car, she tried to look into his soul, wondering why he thought what he thought about her. Black knew what she was thinking even without her voicing it. So, he turned to her and smiled, looking serious at the same time. A smiled crossed Meesa's face, she hated the effect he had on her. The littlest thing he did made her happy. She just hated he didn't feel her the same way. Remembering Destiny, her face reentered Meesa's mind. She let out a desperate sigh.

How could things have been so fucked up for her? Meesa didn't like Daryl from the moment they met, not really knowing why. But tonight, she sure figured out why. The nigga was loony as hell. Looking down at the infamous dress, she still was in shock.

“All of this over you.” She said aloud.

“What did you say?” Black asked.

“I just can't believe Daryl dogged my girl like that in front everybody over a dress.”

“Man, I don't know what to say about that dude.” Perplexed, Black continued, I do know your friend needs to leave that nigga alone though because he's crazy.” Black said thinking back to how his father used to beat on his own mother.

Black didn't remember when it all started. But, by the time he was old enough to understand, he was used to it. Anything his mother would do, if his father didn't like it, she would get beat. If dinner wasn't ready and on the table, she would get beat. If the house wasn't dust free, she would get beat. If Black cried and his mother couldn't quiet him down, she would get beat. Almost everyday his mother had a different bruise on her body. Normally, he would hit her in places that she could hide with clothes, so no one could tell that his father beat her. Then he started drinking, and he didn't give a fuck. One time he beat his mother so bad she had to go to the hospital. He had broken one of her ribs, blacked both of her eyes, and busted her nose.

After that incident, the authorities took Black out of the home, saying he wasn't in a stable environment. The state was going to put him in foster care until his grandmother stepped up to the plate. He thanked God everyday for that blessing. Black had already made a promise to himself that, when he was old enough, he would buy a gun and kill his father. Black begged his mother to leave too, but instead, she opted to stay. She told Black she loved his father and that she made a promise to God to stick through for better or worse.

Sadly enough things never got better. The last fight Black's mother and father had led to someone dying.

At the funeral, Black never shed one tear, his heart had already turned cold. He hated his mother for not leaving. And so he sat and stared at the coffin hoping that, at least, now his mother was finally at peace. Black's father stabbed his mother thirty-two times. That time he succeeded in destroying the women he so-called loved.

That mark in Black's life made him look at women different. He vowed that he would never love any woman, scared that he would follow in his father's footsteps. Fearful he may end up with the negative trait of abuse. Also making him hate women who couldn't stand on their own. Weak, fragile, insecure, immature, dumb, gold diggings, hoes, were not for him. And the incident that night dredged up too many suppressed feelings in Black. Being able to stick up for someone who couldn't, made Black's heart loosen a bit.

Stopping in front of the apartment building, Meesa considered asking Black to come up. But thought against it, rethinking the words he uttered to her.

“Well, thanks Black for the ride.”

“You welcome Shorty. You mind if I come up and use your bathroom?” Black asked, not wanting the night to be over.

“Sure.” Meesa said, glad that he wasn't leaving yet.

Meesa escorted Black up to her apartment. While Black took a piss, Meesa hurriedly sprayed perfume on her body and checked her hair and makeup. By the time he got out of the bathroom, Meesa was seated in her love seat, as if she had been sitting there the entire time.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” Meesa asked, nervously.

“Yeah, what you got?”

“Um, I have a bottle of White Zinfandel.”

“Yeah, go and pop that shit open.” Knowing she shouldn't be drinking, Meesa poured two glasses of wine.

She hoped she didn't get drunk instantly and make a fool out of herself. Handing him his drink, Meesa sat back on the love seat across from him. Immediately feeling a buzz, Meesa's body tingled. Feeling sexual, she realized she hadn't had any in four months. Black, on the other hand wanted another glass, not feeling a thing. One glass didn't do a damn thing to him.

After three more glasses, he finally was at a place of peace.

Eyeing Meesa's silky legs crossed, he licked his lips. She had the prettiest legs in the world to him. Feeling him staring she uncrossed her legs giving him a sneak peek.

Black's eyes widened, loving every minute he spent with her.

“Come here.” He asked. Meesa, sat still not knowing if she should go. Thinking of what he said to her, and knowing if she went, where it would lead. But she knew she had to. she had to go to him, her heart commanded her to. “Come over here.” He said again.

Pulling down her dress as she stood up, she gave him her sexiest walk.

It paid off, because as soon as she approached the couch, he grabbed her. Pulling her on top of him, he did something he had
been dying to do. He kissed her slowly, making sure she understood the effect she had on him. Meesa felt it all right. She was in absolute heaven. Meesa saw the clouds, the sun, and the moon. Trying to take control of the situation, she lifted her head up releasing herself from the kiss. She licked her lips savoring his taste and pushed him down. Straddling her legs on each side of him, she leaned back down and kissed his eyes.

No women had ever done that to him, so Black was surprised. After his eyes, she made her way to his nose, cheeks, ears, and then finally back to his lips. Black knew that this was more than foreplay. They explored each other's mouths, sucking and licking each other's lips. Sliding his hands up and down Meesa's back, she arched her back, loving the way his hands felt on her bare skin. Black knew it was time for him to retake control. So he sat up and lifted himself and her up.

Carrying her to the bedroom, he laid her down, then he walked out of the room. He left Meesa wondering if he had played her again. The thought passed when he re-entered the room with a lighter. He began to light each of the six candles she had placed around her room.

Black was setting the scene for seduction. Not knowing the feeling he had inside, he kept up the momentum, and crawled onto the bed with her. Black unbuckled her stilettos, which revealed ten perfectly pedicured toes. He then ran his fingers up to the top of her dress, peeling back the material to show her breast. He pulled the dress down around her ankles. She kicked it off, kicking it across the room.

She wore a black lace front thong to go with the dress she no longer had on. Black gently took her thongs off, leaving her buck-naked. He got off the bed to get a better view of her. She was absolutely beautiful. The light from the candles in the room flickered all over her body. Her body glistened in the light. Meesa bit her bottom lip, wondering what he was thinking. Black let his first shirt slide down his arms and pulled the other over his head. Meesa was breathless. The muscles he had were beautifully carved out.

His chocolate skin looked good enough to eat. She wanted to taste him. She imagined what he felt and tasted like. Black was down to his boxers and he decided to keep them on, as he wanted her to take them off of him. Back in the bed, he began to kiss her legs, leading to her inner being. Black tantalized her insides with his tongue. Meesa moaned from pleasure. He was taking her places she had never been before. Basking in the moment, she screamed nearing an orgasm. She begged him to stop, not wanting to cum yet. He obliged and lifted his head up and licked her stomach. Circling his tongue all around, he traced his tongue along each of her nipples, biting and sucking them at the same time. Meesa loved it, it was everything she hoped it would be. She pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

No, it's really happening, she thought to herself. Not being able to take any more, she pleaded, “Black please put it in.”

“Are you sure?” Wanting her to beg.

“Yes I'm sure, please, please, please.” She whined.

“Take my boxers off for me.” He asked. Releasing the tool meant to bring her joy, she touched him. In her hand she held a long black instrument. She led him to her open field of sin. As he entered her, she relaxed herself wanting to feel everything. In the beginning, it hurt a little, being Black's dick was so big. But she got in the groove quickly. He stroked her slowly at first, then he began to speed up.

“How fast do you want it?”

“As fast as you can go.” She countered. They locked eyes wondering, why they hadn't done this before.

“Black I need you.” Pleaded Meesa.

“How bad do you need me?

“Bad, Black, Bad.”

“Do you want me?”

“Yes!” She screamed, as he stroked her harder.

Crying out from gratification, she moaned his name. Am I saying his name out loud she thought? It felt only too natural. Coming, Black stopped to watch her. As her body spasmed it made him want to please her even more.

“Oh God!” Meesa yelled. Starting up again, Black slowed down relishing the feeling her body gave him. The moans came more and more, letting Black know he was putting his thang down. Coming alive at every touch she gave him, Black knew that this was more than sex. This was making love. But how could he love her he thought. Feeling himself cuming, he licked her swollen breast.

Meesa then un-wrapped her arms from being around his back and replaced her breast with her finger. Wanting him to suck them badly, he did too.

Releasing the demon, he came inside her. While his body spasmed, she held him loving the way he seemed to need her.

Caressing his locks she held him like a baby. Enjoying lying in between her breast, Black closed his eyes, hoping time wouldn't pass too fast. Meesa lay looking up at the ceiling, contemplating what would happen next. Would Black get up and leave and never talk to her again? Or would he stay the night and they begin to get to know each other. She knew that they should have gotten to know each other first, but Black was the one.

Black lay wondering if he had made the right decision to sleep with Meesa. She had a powerful being about her that made him want her. The thoughts in their heads were quickly replaced with dreams.

June 25th, 2002 and Black was awakened from the sounds of a car alarm.
Jumping out of bed to check on his truck, there it was sitting safe and sound. Black thanked God and turned to face Meesa, who was, by the way, knocked out. Black quietly climbed back into bed with her, wondering what God was feeling the day he created her.

Beautiful was not the word to describe her. She lay on her stomach with her face facing him. The covers lay on her waist revealing her caramel colored back. She reminded him of an angel. The sunlight outside the window shone on her. Black knew he was falling for her. Hell, he already had fallen and couldn't get up. He had to have strong feelings for her he went up in her raw. Thinking about all the things he heard about her made him tense.

Fuck what others say, I'm my own man, he thought to himself. She wasn't that way with him, so fuck them. If Meesa was a hoe than he would soon find out, sooner or later.

Meesa opened her eyes slightly to see if it was all a dream, thanking God when she saw Black's face.

“Good morning.”

“Hi.” Meesa whispered. Hoping her breath didn't stink.

“Excuse me.” She said while getting out the bed. Looking at her body in the daylight, it still looked perfect to him. Meesa brushed her teeth and returned to the bedroom. Getting a T-shirt
from her drawer, she threw it on over her head, being her hair was slightly messed up. It wasn't horrible looking, Meesa still had it going on.

Turning to look at Black, he was stark naked, with his dick standing straight up in the air. Letting her know he wanted seconds.

After round two, they lay staring at each other. Black was like an African king to her. His high cheekbones and almond shaped eyes defined him. No words could describe his being. He was too overwhelming to describe. She had to shake her head at his beauty.

“So what now?” She asked.

“I don't know, ma.”

Disappointment showed on her face.

“Look, last night was the bomb, and it kind of caught a nigga off guard. But I want you to know that I'm not just going to hit it and run. I like you shorty and I want to get to know you better.”

“Me too, Black. I want to get inside that brain of yours.” She replied, poking him in the forehead.

He had revealed a side of himself that she had never seen before last night, and Meesa wanted more, a lot more. Over the course of a couple of weeks, Meesa and Black spent almost every day together. On the days she had classes, he would take her and pick her up. They took walks with each other in the park. Black hated doing corny shit like that, but it made Meesa happy, so he went along with it. He stayed at her place every night. They told each other their past. Finding out that both of their mothers were dead, drew them closer together. Meesa was caught in the rapture that Black gave her. She loved being in his presence. Learning more about him each day was her job. His likes, dislikes, favorite foods, and places he liked to go.

Two weeks into the friendship, they got around to the rumors
that had been placed on her. Meesa explained that she did use to use men for their money, but that she had stopped doing those things years ago. She also let it be known that she wasn't a freak. Black believed her after she told him her side of the story. Letting his guard down, he asked Meesa to be his. Joy filled Meesa knowing that Black wanted her to be his woman.

Meesa loved taking care of Black. Between classes, she cooked meals for him, gave him back rubs, and read to him at night. They had so much in common it was kind of scary. Both enjoying the same music, television shows, foods, games, and books. The only thing they didn't have in common was the fact that Black sold drugs.

It worried Meesa sick. She constantly feared he would be hurt or killed. Repeatedly, he assured her that nothing was going to happen to him, but she still worried. He tried to explain to her that he would be extra careful. He did tell her though that, in the business he was in, there was some shady niggas. That led Black to do some shady shit too. But what he didn't tell her was that he needed room to be who he was too. The relationship thang was all new to him. And he didn't want to let go of his prior life. Sometimes, Black would tell her that he was taking care of business so he could go and see his other females. Even though he cared for Meesa, he didn't know if he was in love with her. Meesa loved Black from the day she laid eyes on him, but she was afraid to let her feelings show. Not knowing how he would take the news scared her. She knew other females were trying to see him, and she kind of figured he still got down with other chicks. But she didn't have enough evidence to prove it, so she sat back and peeped the scene.

Over a month had passed, and things between Meesa and Black had already started to change. Sometimes when she paged him, her calls weren't returned, or he would say he would come by and see her, but didn't. Not knowing what to do, she stayed with him anyway. Meesa hoped that things would change, but they only got worse, of course. School was no longer a top priority, Black was. Black felt like he was being smothered. He dug Meesa, but he wasn't into that entire husband and wife shit. He
felt like Meesa was starting to play house, and he had no time for that. He was young and needed to be free to roam. Meesa expected him to tell her his every move. It was always, where you going, who you wit, when you going to be back, come see me, or some other bullshit. The shit was getting boring. Meesa wasn't a freak, she was homebody. Whatever Meesa wanted, Black wasn't giving it to her.

One rainy night, Meesa sat alone in her apartment and pondered over their relationship. The shit he was doing was becoming old real quick. If he didn't want her, some other nigga did. Needing to get everything off her chest, she two-wayed him. Twenty minutes passed and still no call. Feeling crazed, she paged him over and over again, hoping he would get the message, but the shit didn't work, he still wouldn't call her back.

Black was at the Days Inn fucking Brandy's back out. Hearing his Motorola Two-Way pager buzzing, he continued on.

After paging him didn't work, she then decided on calling his phone, knowing he would hear it. Black had one of those cell phones that when it rang, it said “Incoming Call”. Ten rings later and still nothing. Brandy and Black lay next to each other smoking herb.

Figuring it was Meesa, he didn't answer. He didn't know how tell her things were becoming too serious for his comfort. Black felt that things were moving too fast. Relationships scared him more than dying, the constant being together thing was starting to suffocate him, so he dodged her whenever he could. Three and a half hours had passed and Black never returned any of her calls.

Needing something to help deal with the pain, she walked around the corner. The corner store with the bottle of gin was her salvation. The hurt was that deep for Meesa. Solving her problems with liquor wasn't Meesa's thing. But tonight, she needed something more powerful than any human being. Back in the silence of her apartment, she unplugged the phone. Laying in the middle of the living room she slowly drank. Hoping the
thoughts she had would disappear. Of course, they didn't, it only made the situation worse. Meesa drank faster, spilling some on herself, she didn't care.

Numbness filled her, she liked this place she thought. The gin had finally taken its effect and Meesa loved it. The hurt and the loneliness she felt was too much for her. Black was the first man she ever loved. It hurt her even more to think that he didn't love her. She was alone and was used to it.

Even after her mother's passing, she still had Destiny. But Destiny was in her own world dealing with Daryl. They hadn't talked in over a month. Meesa called her, but Destiny never called back. Daryl told Destiny that as long as she was his woman, she wasn't allowed to fuck with Meesa. The rest of her friends were off limits as well. Blindly in love, she did what she was told. Daryl took care of her and she loved him for that. She needed him and the attention he gave her. No one had ever taken care of her the way Daryl did. There had been plenty of men who bought her things before, but Destiny had lucked up on the night she met Daryl. The boy was large, and doing the damn thing. He had so much money that he could buy any and everything he wanted, she wanted, and what anybody else wanted too. For the first time, Destiny was living like she always thought she should. Nothing or anyone was going to take that away from her. So, if she had to give up her friends for a slice of the American pie, then so be it.

Meesa had never gotten so drunk before. She lay curled up on the sofa with the bottle of gin. Old tears dried up on her face. She was out like a light.

Figuring he should show his face, Black stopped by the next morning. Knocking on the door he got no answer. Knowing she had to be at home, he used the key she had given him. Opening the door, he saw Meesa lying on the sofa. As soon as he walked in, he knew something was wrong. Meesa barely let anyone sit in her living room. So her sleeping in there signaled troubled. Black walked over to her. Calling out to her did nothing. So he shook her, becoming frightened. A minute or two passed and she
finally awakened. Not knowing what was happening, she looked around the room trying to contemplate what happened. Black's voice was echoing in the air. She tried her damnest to focus her eyes on him, but the room was spinning. Meesa placed her hands over her eyes and tried to concentrate. Looking up at him, she kind of felt bad. Black had a real concerned look on his face, but that passed quickly. All the repressed feelings she had came flooding back.

“Meesa, can you hear me! Answer me, can you hear me!” Trying to stand up was a task all in itself. Black helped her up. She still didn't answer. It felt like a ton of bricks were falling on her. Holding her head, she tried to regain composure.

Black stared at her with a confused look on his face. Damn, I should've called her back. What if somebody came in here last night and tried to hurt her. He knew he wouldn't be able to forgive himself he thought. That was until he looked down and saw an empty Seagram's Gin bottle.

Picking it up he asked. “What the fuck is this shit?”

Still not trying to hear him, she walked to the bathroom. Splashing water on her face, she hoped it would help her wake up. It worked. After drying her face with a towel Meesa, looked in the mirror. The person staring back looked a hot mess. Her hair was all over her head. Usually her skin was glowing, but it now looked weak and pale.

Crust was all in her eyes from crying. Normally, she would feel self-conscious about Black seeing her like this but hell, what the fuck, it was over between them anyway.

“So, this is what love does to you?” She asked herself. Not wanting love to win, she mustered all the courage she had. Feeling a little better, she was revived and ready for battle. Still feeling woozy, she paced herself. Slowly she walked back into the living room.

“Answer me Meesa, what are you doing with an empty gin bottle? You don't even drink!” Black yelled, starting up again.

“Are you really sure you want me to answer that?” She asked, trying to burn a hole in his skull with her eyes.

“What in the fuck kind of question is that? I come in to find your ass knocked out cold on the couch! Drunk as hell and you got the nerves to ask me do I want an answer! (Pissed off he threw the bottle of gin at the wall.) Be for real Meesa.” He angrily yelled.

Meesa laughed at his dramatic act. Trying to intimidate her wouldn't work this time.

“Be for real huh? So you want real? Okay then, so where in the hell was your ass last night Black?” She yelled back.

Not wanting to answer, Black sat still and looked around the room trying his damnedest to avoid her eyes. Wondering if he should tell her not.

“What, cat got your tongue nigga? Now you answer that question for me.” Meesa asked, with a smirk on her face.

“Why all of a sudden you can't return my phone calls Black? Let's talk about that! We don't spend any time with each other any more! You stay out all night and then have the audacity to come and see me the next day! You act like nothing is wrong and shit! Nigga, you must think I'm crazy or something! Do I have the word stupid written across my forehead! No, I don't think so! I know that you are out in the streets cheating on me and shit!” Calming down, she spoke calmly and so he would understand. “If you don't want to be with me Black than that is okay. I was cool before I met you, and now I'm cool on you.”

Not knowing what to say or how to feel, he sat in silence. Turning her back on him she went and got a huge garbage bag. Stuffing it with every item he had at her house. Every name brand outfit he had left, shoes, jewelry, and presents he bought her.

Tears streamed down her face as every moment they shared was staring her right in the face. Holding her head down, she
tried to conceal the tears that were pouring out of her. She handed Black the bag. Taking it, he still sat and wondered if he should apologize. Black didn't know if he should stay and try and work things out with her. Meesa took the silence as a sign of not caring.

She asked, “Why?”

“Why what?” The asked uncertain.

“If you knew that you didn't want to be with me, why didn't you just come out and tell me Black? I mean, I actually thought that you were different.” Seeing the tears sliding down her beautiful face, Black felt ashamed for the wrong doings that he many times justified.

“Look at what we've become, hell, at what I've become. Last night happened because I love you.” There, she had said it finally. A burden was lifted at that very moment. Black figured she did, but never knew for sure. Now thinking back, how couldn't he have known? She always looked out for him. Always wanting to please him and make him happy.

“I tried to look pass the shit that you were doing Black because I loved you, but I can't do it anymore. I care too much for myself, even if you don't.”

Feeling confident she said, “I'll get over you, it's cool. I just hope that you find whatever you're looking for. Now, will you please get the hell out of my house?” Not wanting to, but knowing he should, Black stood up.