Maybe This Time (The Educators Book 3) (12 page)

“You sound like you’ve thought about this, articulated it.”

“Steph wrote about what happened in her journal that her mother dropped off after school today.”

“Did you defend me when you responded?”

She seemed taken aback. “I tried to support both of you. I’m not taking sides, Gage.”

He wasn’t sure why he was pushing Delaney. None of this was her fault, but damn it, he wanted some support from her. “What’s the tenor at school?”

“Tom Speranza’s getting a lot of attention, playing the victim. Nobody’s even hinting at how mean he is to kids. Not that his behavior excuses what the girls were going to do.”

“I know. I heard Steph talking to her mother on the phone about him. It bugs me that she confides in Andrea about this when the woman’s been so neglectful.” He shook his head. “Steph did say Schmooze was out on bail. Is the other girl out, too?”

“I’m not sure she was charged. In the end, Mitzy Porter backed out, too. Schmooze was planning to go it alone.”  Delaney seemed thoughtful. “They found the explosives, but didn’t find the gun.”

“What gun?”

“Steph said she had a gun, too.”

“Hell. I didn’t know about a gun.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I’m going blind here and I hate it.”

“Because you’re used to being in control.”

“Maybe.” Leaning over, he brushed his knuckles down her cheek. Her skin was soft and rosy now, probably with the glow of her pregnancy. A rush of tenderness overcame him. “How about if I surrender to you in the bedroom when I finish my drink?”

She smiled, but it was tinged with sadness.

“What’s wrong?”

“We have to talk.”

“Nothing good ever followed those words.”

Tucking her feet under her, she sat up straighter. “I think you were right to stay with Steph for the weekend. She needs to see you care.”

“Well, that’s not so bad. Do I hear a
but
coming?”

“I referred to this before, Gage, but I’ve been thinking about it since all this happened. You aren’t home enough to supervise her. You work too late at night.”

“I was there at six when you stayed with her.”

“Yes, you were. But you confessed how hard it was for you get away that early.”

“Now that her mother’s back, maybe I can work around my schedule for the days Steph stays with me.”

“That’s the second
but
. And it’s a big one.” She grabbed the pillow and pulled it to her lap. It was almost a defensive move. “I’ve given this a lot of thought. I believe Andrea’s an unfit mother. She left Steph alone with those girls when she knew Steph should be supervised. She took Steph out of school for two days to go to New York, and got drunk the whole time. And today, after school, Andrea went to a happy hour with her neighbors. She’s volatile and neglectful.”

“Don’t hold back, Delaney.”

“Somebody’s got to get you to see all this clearly.”

His defensive court instincts went on alert. “I think I know a little more about raising my daughter than you do.”

“That is plain wrong. Teachers like me and Brie and Annie, administrators like Dylan always know more about what kids need than their parents do.”

“Did you discuss me and Steph with them?”

“Of course I did. They’re my friends and are good sounding boards. Dylan really knows what he’s doing.”

“So you all ganged up on me.”

Her face blanked. “No, of course not. But let’s table your hurt feelings for now.”

He didn’t like being dismissed but he kept silent.

“What exactly are you going to do to help your daughter?”

“I suppose I could try counseling again, but she refused to go last time I set up an appointment.”

“That would help. But what about you, personally?”

His control slipped. He needed this woman tonight and she was criticizing him. “You seem to have all the ideas, so you tell me.”

“All right, I will, though I hear the sarcasm in your voice. I’m suggesting you get full custody of Steph.”

“Oh, she’d love that.”

“I think she would. I told you before she wants more time with you. And I know for a fact that she asked her mother to stay home that day Schmooze came over. Andrea went out anyway.”

“Even if I could get her away from her mother legally, which I’m not so sure I can do, I can’t possibly be home every day after school to watch her. My life isn’t set up like that.

“Then reset your life.”

Damn it, how could she be so sure of what she was demanding? “You don’t understand.”

Scooting closer, she took his hand. “You’d have me to help. We have to decide what to do about us, anyway, and in the interim, having me around would ease some of the burden on you. Still, you’d have to work less hours.”

The comfort of her touch wasn’t enough. She’d pushed a hot button and he couldn’t ignore it. “You’re being totally unrealistic. The majority of parents aren’t home to supervise their kids after school.”

“And the kids often get into trouble.”

“Not all of them.”

“No, but the ones with built-in problems like Steph do. It’s your responsibility to step up now.”

Exasperated, he set the drink down. “Come on, let’s go to bed. This is upsetting to me. We can talk about it later.”

“After I say one more thing. I’m not making idle suggestions, Gage, and I’m not backing down on this.”

“What exactly are you saying?”

“If you can’t change your ways, if you can’t make it better with Steph…” she put her hand over her stomach “…I’m not sure I want you to be a part of this baby’s life.”

At first, he was so stunned he couldn’t speak. “That’s a hell of a thing to say to me. About me.”

“I have to be honest. We have to settle this before what’s between us goes any further.”

He shook his head, desire replaced by shock. And because he felt ambushed, he struck out at her. “How do you know you’re right, Delaney? How can you be so sure that you’d give me an ultimatum like that?”

“I told you, teachers know this stuff.”

“You’ve never been a parent. You can’t really put yourself in my position.”

“I know I’m right. And I’m sorry. I love you, Gage, really I do. But I have to think of Steph and this baby, too.”

“You have a strange way of showing you love me.”

“Again, I’m sorry.”

“Too late. Damage is done. I no sooner feel like making love than getting a root canal.” He stood.

“Gage, don’t be mad.”

“You’re kidding, right? You slice me to pieces and you don’t want me to mad.”

“I told you, I have to do what’s right.”

“What you
think
is right.” His voice raised, he added, “And you know what?
You
especially have no right to say that to me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Truer words were never said. You sit there preaching to me about how to be a good parent when you’re the one who had an abortion because you couldn’t handle the job. People in glass houses--”

He stopped short when he saw her face blanch. She grabbed onto the couch for balance. “H…how could you say that to me after I trusted you with something so…sensitive?”

“As easily as you could tell me I can’t see my own child if I don’t do what you think is best.” He had to ignore her trembling hands and thinned lips. “Oh, fuck,” he spat out then turned away from her.

Without saying more, he slammed out the loft door.

Chapter 10

A week after Gage said those awful words to her, Delaney finally decided she couldn’t cry over him anymore, which she’d been doing every day when classes ended and she was no longer distracted. So she brought her gym bag to school, and at three o’clock, changed and headed out to the track. The day was beautiful—the sun beating down, though not too hot this May afternoon. The trees were budding and green; she could smell the rich loam of the earth and the newly mowed grass surrounding the stadium. As she started walking the half mile path, she inevitably thought of Gage as she had every single day since last Thursday. She hadn’t heard from him, of course, though Steph was back to school and writing in her journal about their relationship. Ironically, he was taking some of Delaney’s advice and getting home early the weekdays she stayed with him. Even that wasn’t enough to repair his and Delaney’s fractured relationship. She still thought he needed to get custody of his daughter, but more so, they’d said awful words to each other which couldn’t be taken back.

Consequently, all of Delaney’s old feelings of hurt and insecurity had returned. Before Gage, she’d depended only on herself, hadn’t trusted others, and hadn’t gotten close to anybody but Lisa. Now, she remembered why she always believed it was best to rely on herself and since she had a baby to protect, she embraced the attitude again. So what if she’d thought that, maybe this time, things would be different in her life? They weren’t and she’d adjust eventually.

Speeding up her pace, she concentrated on her breath, on lengthening her stride. Another thought intruded: what was she going to do about her job? An unwed mother couldn’t teach in such a small community. She’d have to make plans to go somewhere else. Spring would be the right time to apply for jobs in the city, and she could pretend she was divorced or widowed. She had to work, but it didn’t have to be in Crystal Corners, regardless of how she loved the town and that she’d begun to feel at home in the school.

Despite her vow not to, she started to cry again. Jesus. She was a weepy mess with this pregnancy. Still she couldn’t stop, so when she reached the bleachers, she sat on the first bench and put her hands in her face. She had to get control.

After a while, she heard, “Hey, kiddo, what are you doing out here…” When she raised her head, she saw Nick Corelli had come up to her. “What’s wrong?”

She tried to be brave. “Wrong? Nothing. I’m resting. I’ve been walking a while.”

“Your cheeks are wet. You’re crying.”

Her hands went to her face. “They are?” Turning away, swiped at the renegade tears.

Nick dropped down next to her. “Wanna tell me about it?”

“No, go ahead and run.”

Instead, he tugged her on the shoulder, drew her around and to his chest, held her like a brother might. She started to cry again. “Shh. It can’t be that bad.”

“It is.”

After she calmed, he let her go and handed her a handkerchief. She blew her nose. “I hate doing that.”

“I have to say I never pegged you for the crying type. You’re one tough cookie. It’s gotta be a guy.”

She swallowed hard and nodded.

“I’m a good listener.” His tone was coaxing, kind, and right now she needed kind. So without censoring herself, Delaney poured out the whole story to Nick.

“Wow. Super news that you’re pregnant. You’ll make a good mother.”

“Huh.”

“Tough stuff, though, with the father of one of your kids. But you’re both single, and you love Stephanie. Seems to me you can make that work.”

“We said terrible things to each other, Nick. Those words can’t be taken back.”

“Maybe they don’t have to be. Did you know when Brie and I were goin’ through all that stuff with Matt Keller, we split up because we insulted each other so bad it seemed like our situation was hopeless.”

“But you’re such a terrific couple.”

“We are. Stuff like that happen between people with strong feelings about life and about each other.”

“How’d you get past it?”

“Nothing dramatic. I guess it just got too painful to be apart. And once we were back together, we decided to put aside what we said that was hurtful. Just not think about it.” He grinned. “Now we’ve got something great to think about instead.”

“The baby?”

“Yeah, sure, and how good we are together.”

Feeling drained, she sighed. “I don’t know. Things seem so hopeless to me.”

“Never.” He stood and reached out his hand. “Come on, let me buy you some tea in the local diner. It’ll make you feel better. It always does for Brie.”

Given her new determination not to need anybody, not get close to anybody, Delaney was about to say no. What came out of her mouth, though, was, “Okay. And thanks, Nick.”

“I’m sure Gage Grayson would rather be the one comforting you, but you’re welcome.”

“How do you know that?”

“With a woman like you, how could he not?”

o0o

Gage had a fucking miserable week. He’d lost a case at trial, he’d been ornery at work, and he bit the head off a repairman who came to fix the dryer. The only good thing in his life was that Steph seemed to be doing better.
They
were doing better. Because of that, and because he’d been thinking a lot about what Delaney had said, he decided to leave work early and talk to Andrea about Steph spending more time with him. He rang the doorbell of his former house—he no longer went in unannounced though he had a key—and no one answered. He rang a few more times. Andrea’s car was in the driveway—and one he didn’t recognize-so he knew she was home.

When he buzzed again and there was still no answer, he unlocked the door and went inside. Blaring music came from Stephanie’s room so he climbed the staircase. He knocked on the closed door. “Steph, it’s Dad.” Would she even hear him with the music so loud? He raised his voice and called a second time. Nothing.

“What’s going on?”

Andrea spoke from the other end of the hall in the doorway of the room they once shared. Dressed in a robe, she looked like she’d been asleep. He walked the distance to her. “What the hell are you doing sleeping at four in the afternoon?”

“I was up late.”

“You
just
got up?”

“Don’t start.”

“Whose car is that in the driveway?”

Guilt edged her features, reflected in her eyes. And she glanced back toward the room.

“Holy hell. Is some guy here?”

She pushed her hair off her face, revealing smeared lipstick and mascara. “Spare me. I’m sure you have women over when Steph’s with you.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Like I believe that.”

“I don’t care what you believe. First, Steph shouldn’t be here for your assignations. Jesus, she stays with me enough so you could plan around for the days she’s here. And second, you’re supposed to be supervising her.”