Maya Banks (11 page)

"I only have one question, Faith. Do you love me?"

Her heart shifted and melted under his intense gaze.

"So much it scares me."

"That's all I need. You loving me. Nothing else matters."

"I do. So much," she said with an ache in her voice.

"I vote we leave the tour of the house for another time and go home so we can address more important matters."

His hand slid down to lay flat against her belly, his fingers splayed out. God, there might be a baby in there. A mixture of panic and awe coursed through her at the thought.

"Yeah, let's go home," she said around the knot in her throat.

Nathan sat across the table from Julie watching her eat. He watched her smile, how her eyes lit up in response every time she spoke. How she laughed with no reserve. Was it any wonder he was always so damn tongue-tied around her? Or that it had taken him months to work up the courage to ask her out?

He'd had sex with her. Twice, technically, and even then the idea of asking her on a date had left him with a raging case of gut rot.

He wanted to ask her why. Why had she given him a blow job and then fired him as her client? Why not just say she was interested?

Why hadn't
he
said he was interested?

"Tell me about you," she said as she leaned forward.

The motion pinned her breasts to the table, plumping them up toward her neckline until they mounded like two ripe melons. All he could see was her lying on the bed at The House, and all he could remember was the feel of so much willing sweet flesh in his arms as he slid into her over and over.

How the hell was he ever supposed to have a normal conversation with her again? Preferably one where his dick wasn't fighting for equal airtime?

"What do you want to know?"

"Well, all I know is what Faith's told me or what I've learned from listening to general conversation. She said you used to be in the army and went to work for Pop as soon as you got out."

He nodded. "Yeah, I joined up out of high school. There was no way Ma could have paid for me to go to college. At the time I only planned to stay the minimum and let them pay my way through college, but I enjoyed it so I re-upped. I'd probably still be in if an injury hadn't taken me out."

Her forehead wrinkled and her eyes lighted with sympathy. They were such a warm brown. Like chocolate.

"It wasn't anything serious," he said hastily. "I mean, I could have stayed in the army but I couldn't remain with my specialty. Just didn't seem like much point after that."

"Oh. Still, that had to suck."

He grinned. "I thought it did at first but I came home, licked my wounds. Pop gave me a job and here I am. It's great. I like the people I work with, I make good money and I'm close to my mom and my sisters."

"Sisters?"

"Yeah, I'm the only boy. Was hell growing up with all those women, let me tell you."

"You're so full of shit. You loved it and you know it. Your eyes are all warm and gooey just talking about them."

He grinned self-consciously. "Yeah, busted. It wasn't fun when they all had PMS, but they're a great bunch of women."

"How many sisters?"

"Three. Two are married but the baby is in college."

He could see the question she wanted to ask but was too polite.

"I send Ma money so Tracy can get her degree."

"That's awfully sweet of you," she said in a quiet voice.

He shifted uncomfortably, heat creeping up his neck. "She's a smart kid. I consider it an investment. She'll probably own the world in a few years and then she can support her big brother."

Julie smiled and put down her fork. "I just love a guy who blushes. It's incredibly sweet."

Fuck if his face didn't light on fire, and the heifer knew it. And why the hell was she talking to him like he was her big brother or something? Her mouth around his dick had certainly removed any possibility that they were going to be
just
friends.

Sweet? He frowned in disgust. Yeah, it was just one beat off her telling all her friends that he was just
adorable.
Next thing he knew, he'd be the guy all her friends considered their big brother. The one they all went to when they had guy trouble. Always the confidant and never the main event.

He had the sudden urge to beat his head on the table. Maybe he should be talking about dodging bullets or rescuing hostages from some hellhole in South America. Women went for that kind of shit, didn't they? Anything but sweet. Have mercy.

"You look like you just swallowed a bug," she said as she peered at him.

"You called me sweet," he said in disgust.

Her eyebrows went up. "You'd rather me call you an asshole?"

"At least asshole wouldn't make me sound like a pussy," he grumbled.

She looked incredulously at him. Swept over him with her gaze, up and down then back up again.

"You're the last man I'd ever worry about coming off as a pussy," she said, her eyes gleaming.

"Oh?" Now it sounded like he was fishing for compliments, but this woman's head was harder to get into than Fort Knox. How the fuck was he supposed to know what she was thinking at any given time? She was as erratic and helter-skelter as a drunk butterfly. Who knew what the hell she'd ever do or say next?

"Strong. Rugged. Sexy, even. A bit dense, but otherwise, very nice," she purred.

Now even his ears were red, he was sure. "I've been told I'm a man and it's my lot in life to be dense."

"Well, you have me there," she said out of the side of her mouth.

"So what about you?" he asked as he sat back to study her. "What's your story?"

She looked mildly discomfited by the question, and for the first time looked at a disadvantage. And to think he couldn't imagine this woman ever not on top of things. She exuded confidence. She was sure of her place in the world, and that, to him, was about the sexiest quality a woman could possess.

She raised her wineglass to her lips and took a long sip. Her perfectly manicured nails tapped a moment on the crystal as she seemed to collect her thoughts.

Then she grinned and set it back down again. "I would love to lie to you and tell you that I've traveled the world collecting men for my harem, or that I've rubbed elbows with the rich and famous, but the simple truth is, I'm a small-town girl who's never been out of the great state of Texas. Sad, isn't it?"

His brows drew together. "You could have fooled me. You seem so ... I dunno, knowledgeable, and I don't mean book learning as much as you just seem to have lived a lot of life."

"Well thank you, I think. That almost sounds like a compliment."

"It was intended to be one. You seem to have your head on straight. You're confident and beautiful. I imagine you could go anywhere you wanted and fit in."

She looked completely caught off guard by his assessment. For a long moment she just stared at him as if trying to figure out his angle. This was a cynical woman, and he could see the wheels turning in her head. She thought he was plotting his way into her pants. Flattery, pretty words, all the usual stuff.

The problem was, he sucked when it came to wooing a woman. And while he'd love nothing more than to go home and strip every piece of clothing off her with his teeth, he could wait. If she expected a full-on assault, then he was going to give her just the opposite if it killed him.

"You make me feel like a fraud," she finally said with a rueful smile.

"That wasn't my intention."

She shook her head. "Oh, I know. I'm beginning to think you're actually a sincere guy."

"You say that as if it surprises you."

Her eyes glinted with amusement. "It does."

"Okay, so tell me more. You've never been out of the state of Texas. Any plans to change that?"

She leaned back with a thoughtful look. "You know, I hadn't really given it any thought. I'm so busy with my salon. Don't get me wrong, I spend plenty of time dreaming, but I never really thought about making it a reality."

"What do you dream about?"

She blushed. Actually blushed. He had to snap his jaws shut to keep from gaping, because anything that made this woman blush had to be good.

"My dreams aren't up for discussion until at least the fourth date," she said with a cheeky grin.

He smiled and reached for his glass. "I'll keep that in mind."

He sipped at the wine and tried not to grimace. Anything more refined than beer was wasted on him. This entire restaurant gave him hives, but he figured this was a place that Julie would slide right into.

"You want to ditch this place and go get a beer?"

He blinked and stared at her over the glass that was frozen in midair on its way down to the table. Had she read his freaking mind? Surely he hadn't voiced his thoughts aloud.

"Not that I don't like where you chose for dinner," she said in a rush. "But this is way more Serena and Damon's speed. I'd just as soon head over to Cattleman's and have a beer and some greasy French fries."

Yes. Dear God,
yes.
He had to control the urge to scramble out of his seat and haul her out behind him.

"You sure?" he asked calmly. It sounded so much better than
hell yeah!

She shrugged. "It's up to you."

He held up his hand to motion for the check before the words were completely out of his mouth. Beer and French fries sounded damn good to him. Even better, tasting beer and French fries on her lips later.

Chapter 13

F
aith sat on the counter in the bathroom, her legs dangling over the edge. Gray stood between her knees holding the paper bag with the EPT test.

"Before we do this, I think we need to make a few things clear," he said in a husky voice. "Or at least talk about the possibilities."

She nodded as a flutter of panic scuttled higher in her stomach.

"How do you feel about the possibility of you being pregnant?" he asked gently.

She closed her eyes. Why couldn't he say how he felt first? Ah well, honesty and all that stuff. If her not embracing the idea upset him, then maybe . . . No, she wouldn't think about things like leaving the wedding called off. She and Gray were on the same page. She had to believe that.

"Terrified?"

His eyes softened, and he leaned in to press his lips to her forehead.

"You know I want children. Eventually. But Gray, I have to be honest. I'm praying so hard for this to be one huge false alarm."

"Me too," he admitted.

Her shoulders sagged in relief.

"Tell me, baby, is this why you called off the wedding? Did you get scared or think I might be upset if you were pregnant?"

"I wish I could say yes," she said glumly. "But the fact is, I didn't even think about the possibility of pregnancy until Julie mentioned it. My boobs have been tender, and I've been so hormonal. I was convinced you weren't interested in me anymore," she added in an embarrassed voice.

He stilled and then pulled away, his eyes narrow. He looked ... angry.

"Okay, maybe we should talk about a few more things before you take this test. What on earth gave you that idea? Are you not happy with the dynamics of our relationship any longer? You need to tell me if it's not working, Faith. We talked about all this before, but you're entitled to change your mind, you know."

Ugh. This was getting way more complicated than she wanted.

She reached up to touch him, needing that brief moment of contact before she went on. "I love our relationship, Gray. I haven't regretted ceding the power, the decision making, putting myself into your hands completely and wholly. I wanted to be taken care of, and until recently thought you did such a wonderful job of making me feel, well, taken care of."

When he opened his mouth, she placed a finger over his lips.

"I was an idiot, Gray. I swear I'm not usually so irrational. I just got scared. I'm not even sure what the hell happened. You've been wonderful, and I feel so unappreciative. I acted like a child sulking because she wasn't the center of attention. If I could take it all back I would. I just snapped."

"Snapped?"

He looked so perplexed she almost laughed.

"Yeah, uh I sort of had seduction in mind last night and when you didn't show up yet again after work, I got pissed, then I got overly emotional, and then I convinced myself in a fit of self-pity that you weren't attracted to me any longer and were avoiding me like the plague."

His mouth dropped open, and his eyes gleamed with silent laughter.

"Don't you dare laugh," she muttered. "It all sounds perfectly ridiculous now, but at the time I was convinced I was about to be single again."

At that his amusement vanished. He touched the tip of his finger to her chin, his eyes boring holes through her.

"You aren't the only one who screwed up, Faith. Yeah, my intentions were good, but how were you supposed to know that? I shouldn't have tried to keep the house a secret, and I damn sure shouldn't have spent so many nights over there with no explanation. In hindsight I'm lucky you didn't think I was cheating on you. All I can say is that it ain't ever going to happen. You're it for me, baby. And I sure hope to hell I'm it for you."

She sighed and nuzzled her cheek against his hand. "You are it for me, Gray. I guess we can be stupid screwups together."

He found her lips, kissing lightly, then deeper. "I love you."

She smiled against his mouth. "I love you too. Forgive me?"

"Of course. Now, we need to talk about this other matter between us."

He raised the paper bag between them so that they both stared at it. You'd think a snake was hiding in it with the way they eyed it so cautiously.

"If... if you're pregnant, we can do this," he said. "No, it's not how we planned it, but it won't be the end of the world. We'll adjust, and we'll be damn good parents."

Her lips trembled and she stared into his eyes, drowning all over again in love.

"I can't believe I almost did this without you."

"Don't make a habit of it," he growled affectionately.

"You going to watch me pee on the stick?"

"How 'bout I stand over here and study the ceiling while you do the deed. Then we'll embark on the longest five minutes of our lives."