Matt & Brooklyn: A Standalone in the "Again for the First Time" Family Saga (AFTFT Book 2) (7 page)

Before I could protest, she was on her feet and gathering our empty bottles. However, when she bent to get mine, her cover-up fell open just enough to give me an unobstructed view of her breasts, and I’m a guy so… I stared.

Hard.

So hard I got caught when she stood upright again, clearly aware of where my eyes were focused. She was quick to cover herself and I noticed that she couldn’t make eye contact now. I felt like such an idiot, acting like a horny teenager who’d never seen tits before.

So stupid…

It was hard enough convincing her to come here, getting her to feel comfortable. Hopefully, this wouldn’t be a setback. I thought about apologizing, but that would only call more attention to what I’d done. So, I did the next best thing—pretended like nothing happened.

“You uh… you don’t have to do that. Cook, I mean. I can shower and stuff after I fix us something.”

She shook her head, but still wouldn’t look at me, holding the cover-up together at her chest, making me feel like even more of a dick.

The door pulled open. “It’s fine. Go shower and I’ll have your food ready when you get out,” she said with a tight smile, stepping inside the house right after.

And with that, I was left standing there alone on the deck, wondering what was going through her mind.

Damn… what the hell came over me?

Chapter Four

Brooklyn

Goosebumps dotted my arms. This feeling that had my skin tingling with more life than usual had come from nothing more than a long, intense stare. An entire forty-five minutes had passed, but here I stood, still thinking about that moment outside on the deck. Not once had I ever caught Matt watching me like I just did.

Never
.

At the sound of his bedroom door creaking open, I cleared my throat and attempted to act normally. My initial reaction had been kinda awkward, walking away as quickly as I did, but that was because I was in shock. I didn’t expect that from him. However, what was
also
unexpected was the twisting that occurred in my stomach when I caught him. It wasn’t quite butterflies or anything like that, but just a stirring of feelings and emotions that I wasn’t sure how to process.

“You work fast,” Matt announced as he came into the kitchen where I stood scooping rice onto his plate. He was acting as if nothing had happened, leaving
me
to feel like I was being weird about this for no reason.

That stirring returned, deep down on the inside, when I glanced over in his direction. “Uh, yeah. It’s just chicken and rice. And a salad,” I added, smiling a bit.

Matt eyed me for a moment, but then shifted his gaze down to his plate when I handed it to him. “Thanks. You didn’t have to, but… thanks,” he repeated.

I nodded once and looked down at my chest, subconsciously making sure I was covered this time.

“I’m gonna go change real quick while you eat.” I didn’t stick around to wait for an answer, just rushed to my room at the end of the hallway, closing the door behind me. For a long time, I stood there leaning against the wall. The thought crossed my mind that I’d been right about this all being a bad idea after all. That small incident out on the deck wasn’t so small in my mind. I still had several days of this trip left ahead of me. If already, only twenty-four hours in, Matt and I were tripping over misplaced feelings, I could only imagine how things would be by the time my visit was over.

Grabbing a pair of my dad’s sweats that I stole before moving out several months ago, I changed. They were a little too big, but in good shape considering they were about ten years old. These were one of many items I took with me when transitioning from living with my parents to renting my grandmother’s old home. Even at twenty-four, I was nervous about living on my own.

My mom had been so excited that we were able to keep it in the family after the former tenants moved out. She was even more excited about the updates she and Daddy paid a contractor to do. There was still some painting to be done and a few odds and ends to give it my own personal touch, but I was so happy to have it. There were so many memories in that house—the pink floral wallpaper that now only hung in the master bedroom closet, notched wood floors, the piano I kept in the front room, and the squeaky back door all held a piece of her in them—my grandmother, Lissette.

While I searched for a shirt, Grandma’s words seeped into my thoughts and I touched her pendant dangling around my neck. She was so wise, so open about all the good and bad she’d endured, and I wished I could be more like her. I wasn’t as easily swayed by her experience with Benny as my sister, Lissy, had been—her namesake. However, it would be a lie if I said it hadn’t crossed my mind a time or two that she’d carried on this long-term love affair with Matt’s grandfather many decades ago. The odds of that happening, and then us meeting later in life, were so slim that I couldn’t even process it. So, my connection to Matt went way beyond our siblings being married; generations ago, we had other family members who were arguably soul mates, too, just like Luke and Lissy. Still, I didn’t let that play on my emotions for Matt. I refused to let outside influences dictate my life like others had. I’d been there, done that, and had no desire to go back down that road.

I slammed the drawer harder than I meant to when a memory that had nothing to do with the fond ones of my grandmother invaded and consumed my thoughts. This particular memory brought a sour taste to the back of my throat, so I dismissed it before I drowned any deeper in the negativity. Pulling a white, ribbed tank over my head, I secured the thick straps of it over those of my bra, and then went back out to join Matt where he sat at the kitchen table. His plate was just about cleared.

The sound of my bare feet against the tile made him lift his head and that same easy,
’nothing happened’
look was behind his eyes. I hated that I’d overreacted before, but was glad it didn’t seem to stick with him. It really wasn’t a big deal, him staring. Historically speaking, guys have been known to look at boobs. It shouldn’t have freaked me out as much as it did.

I settled into the chair across from him as he finished the last of his food. “How was it?” I asked.

“Great,” he said with a nod. “I went back for seconds, but made sure to leave enough in case you decide to eat.”

I smiled and thanked him before we both fell silent, causing me to scramble for something to say. Family had always been a safe topic of conversation for us. “I got to talk to Destiny today when Lissy called. Well… I talked, Des mostly laughed and licked the phone.”

That made him smile. “I’m definitely jealous,” he replied. “I’ll have to get a hold of Luke this weekend. When I saw her at your graduation, I could hardly believe how big she’d gotten.” He got lost in his thoughts, perhaps thoughts of what a difference six months had made. “Man… sometimes I wish I could be in two places at once.”

I secretly wished he could be in two places at once on occasion, too. Being honest, my life had been missing something since he left—something more important, more essential, than I realized. For some reason, despite believing that he would’ve appreciated hearing me say those words out loud, I refrained.

Matt blinked away the traces of nostalgia and leveled a gaze my way. “So, what about you? You’ve gotta be pretty excited about this job.”

I was… but there was the whole
‘Johannesburg thing’
that had my stomach in knots. Did I want to go? Yes. But did I feel a strange tug at my heart keeping me here in the States? A pull stronger than I wanted to acknowledge? Absolutely. I was never indecisive like this when it came to career moves, but for some reason this one wasn’t as cut and dry as it should’ve been.

I’d worked my butt off over the last six years and doing so had helped me get my foot in the door at my university. Raj suggested that I apply for one of several teaching assistant positions and I happened to land the one working with
him
. With plans to start on my Ph. D., I was sure to be a shoo-in for a full-time teaching position when I finished in a couple years—even more so if I went to South Africa.

“Excited isn’t even the word,” I finally answered, but my tone didn’t match the statement.

Matt smiled and moved his plate aside, setting his glass on top of it before saying the words, “I’m happy for you.” And I knew he was. The sincerity was evident on his face.

“Yup, things are gonna get real pretty soon,” I added, realizing that I wasn’t ready to tell him about the offer just yet. There was no reason other than the fact that I just couldn’t make myself say the words, couldn’t tell him I was thinking about leaving. “I’ll probably be busy all the way up until Thanksgiving break,” I said, despite the fact that I wasn’t even sure I’d still be around. “Are you planning to make it home? Or is your schedule too—”

“I’ll be there,” he cut in.

I nodded, trying not to let him see how pleased I was to hear that. In my head, I envisioned
last
Thanksgiving. His family and mine had come together for one big dinner. It was great. Our moms shared the cooking responsibilities while the men on both sides of the family held down the couches watching football. That was one of the best Thanksgivings of my life. Hopefully, depending on how things worked out, I’d get that again; I’d be here to enjoy our large, blended family.

“Already had Cliff make a note to keep my schedule clear that week so I can come home. Plus, when this new gig with Pete kicks off, I’ll probably be around a lot more.” The statement confused me, but Matt smirked. “I’ll only be about an hour-long plane ride from Lindmore,” he added.

I didn’t know what to say, how to feel. On the one hand, this was what I wanted—for him to be closer to home. Only now, I wasn’t sure I’d even be there to reap the benefit.

“Really?” I asked, forcing a smile to hide the conflict within me.

Matt nodded, confirming the news.

“That’s… that’s great.”

He gave another easy smile.

My stomach turned, but I ignored it. “Well… just make sure you show up for Thanksgiving dinner prepared for another whoopin’. Me and my nephews plan to school you on
Madden
like last year.”

Matt burst out laughing, loud and deep. “Stop it! I left that night, the undefeated champ. I wiped the floor with you
and
your nephews,” he bragged shamelessly. It was true, me and the boys got beat pretty badly, but where was the fun in admitting that? “Don’t make me fire up the game and hurt your feelings tonight, Brook. It wouldn’t be pretty.”

My mood was shot with the emotional back and forth going on inside me, but I didn’t want Matt to pick up on anything. So, before I slipped and told him everything, I put on the biggest front I could manage. And in response to his taunting, I stood from the table, set his plate and glass in the sink, and walked right past him, headed toward the TV without a word.

He groaned as he stood from his seat and followed me. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

I rolled my eyes at him and turned the game console on, handing him a controller. “First round is practice, but after that? I’m coming for you,” I threatened, albeit an empty one.

Matt couldn’t do anything but laugh. It felt like old times again. Even whatever that weirdness was out on the deck was now water under the bridge. When he turned back toward the screen, I watched him a bit longer as he set up the game and chose his team, talking trash the entire time. My eyes flitted slightly when I realized I was still staring and I forced my gaze away. My stomach tightened like it did when I caught him watching me outside, only this time nothing had happened. He hadn’t done anything. The sensation just seemed to come out of nowhere, just because he was around.

I listened as his jokes and insults took a turn toward ugly, resorting to talking about my mother like I often did to him when I was losing at a game—basketball, video games, board games; didn’t matter. I laughed, only half-listening to him rant. We’d done this a thousand times, sat on the couch together hanging out, but… something was different this time.

Or maybe it was
us
who
were different this time.

*****

Matt

Brook quickly remembered who was boss after I beat her six times in a row. She got tired of me manhandling her team and shut the game off at around ten. I made myself scarce for a while after that, giving her some time to herself while I did a few things around my room. Part of the reason I retreated here alone was because I still felt kind of embarrassed about getting caught staring at her earlier. When she turned the console off, we sat there in the quiet living room, looking everywhere but at each other. It was awkward and I took full responsibility for that.

The silence also gave me time to think. I was convinced that, on some level, no matter what Brook said, she felt something for me, too. I’m not blind. All this
‘just friends’
bull didn’t have me fooled. If I thought there was any truth to it, I wouldn’t still be waiting for her. And trust me, based on the fact that I hadn’t dated, or even
looked
at another woman since she and I became close… it’s pretty safe to call this waiting. But still, this girl was hell-bent on convincing us
both
that I was in this alone. She can say all day that she doesn’t have feelings, but I knew better.

Lounging in nothing but a pair of sweats, I replied to a few email messages and then shut my laptop, sliding it across my bed when I was done. There was nothing else to do now. I’d basically hung out in my room for the last two hours, leaving Brook with full run of the rest of the house. She’d been bumping around in her bedroom, hopefully settling in a little more.