Material Girl 2 (9 page)
Authors: Keisha Ervin
“Bitch, we ain’t in third-grade. If you got something to say, say it to my face. Don’t do me.” He jerked his head around.
“Ughh, I wish he would quit talkin’ to me,” Dylan groaned.
“Whateva. So what’s been going on wit’ you?” he asked Billie, taking a sip of champagne.
“I don’t even know where to start. First off, instead of getting the kids on the weekends like he’s supposed to, Cain and Becky have been jet-setting around the world, leaving me to have to cancel appointments and stuff. So after he didn’t get them last week, I told his ass to suck it and that he’ll see them again when they’re eighteen.”
“Clunk!” Tee-Tee pointed his index finger.
“Well, how did that go over?” Dylan asked.
“He’s been callin’, but I’m not playin’ wit’ him. He not gon’ put my kids through that bullshit. Y’all, it’s just so sad. My babies just be sittin’ there by the door with they bags and stuff ready to go, callin’ him and callin’ him, and he don’t answer the phone or nothin’. Then, of course, the twins start crying and asking why their daddy won’t come. And, of course, I can’t say ‘Your dad’s an asshole,’ so I’m stuck with tryin’ to figure out how to explain the situation. It’s all just a big mess.” Billie huffed, then took a huge gulp of champagne.
“Then there’s Knox,” she rolled her eyes. “It’s like I can’t make a move without him being glued to my hip. I swear sometimes I don’t know whether to blow him or burp him. Every five seconds it seem like he wanna make love or hug me or kiss me, and I don’t be having time for all of that. I be having shit to do. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I enjoy having sex with my husband, but don’t a bitch pussy get a break, time off, sick day,
something
.”
something
.”
“Billie, are you serious?” Dylan looked at her like she was insane. “Y‘all haven’t even been married a year. Y’all still in y’all honeymoon phase. You better give that man some pussy.”
“I know. I just be having so much on my plate.” Billie situated herself in her seat.
“No, you’re just a mental adolescent at being romantic,” Tee-Tee chimed in, feeling the buzz of the champagne.
“No, I’m not,” Billie disagreed. “I’m a very romantic person.”
“Gurl, please, you’re a high-strung type A bitch who doesn’t give a damn about anything but her charity work. Part of the reason your first marriage ended is because you wasn’t giving up no ass. You was too damn frigid, and by the time you did start giving up the poohna-ni, Cain had him a new boo.”
“Okay, it’s about to be a Code 10, man-down situation,” Dylan sat up straight, her belly resting on her thighs. “Nigga, are you high? How dare you say some shit like that to her?”
“Don’t rile yourself up, Dylan,” Billie pushed her back. “I’ma body his ass myself. Just ’cause you over there takin’ cum shots to the face five times a day like a Muslim don’t mean I gotta be a freak too.”
“Hallelu,” Dylan waved her hand in the air.
“I’m just tryin’ to help yo’ ass so you won’t lose another husband,” Tee-Tee bobbed his head.
“Didn’t nobody ask you for your advice, loose booty. That’s yo’ problem now. You always stickin’ yo’ nose where it don’t belong,” Dylan spat, heated.
“You got a problem wit’ me or something? ’Cause if not, I would advise you to watch yo’ mouth, ’cause if you get smart wit’ me one more time, I promise I’ma turn into Wolverine and scratch yo’ ass up,” Tee-Tee warned.
“A’ight, bitch, you wanna go there?” Dylan said, ready to pounce. “Who told you that you could tell Angel to leave when he came to visit me in the hospital and also sit in my face and act like it never happened?”
Billie placed her hand on her mouth and gasped.
“Tell me you didn’t do that, Tee-Tee,” she said in disbelief. “I haven’t talked to my brother for almost two months because of that.”
“Once again, I was just tryin’ to look out for her well-being, seeing as though their argument is what landed her in the hospital in the first place. Shit, y’all ain’t gon’ do me.” He flicked his wrist, pissed.
“But that wasn’t your place to make that decision,” Dylan countered. “’Cause all that did was make me think he didn’t give a fuck and cause me even more stress, so thank you.”
“You know what? I ain’t got time for this. I’m sittin’ up here, tryin’ to be a good friend to you,” he pointed his index finger at Billie, “and a good cousin to you,” he pointed at Dylan. “And this is how y’all do me? Forgive me for giving a damn about yo’ li’l sorry-ass lives. Y’all sensitive asses ain’t gon’ get on my nerves.” Tee-Tee grabbed his jacket and purse from the hook on the wall behind him.
“How the hell you gon’ get an attitude wit’ me and
you
the one that was wrong? What kind of deranged
Real Housewives of New York
, Kelly Bensimon shit is that? Just take the dildo outta yo’ ass and apologize,” Dylan shouted, causing people to stare.
you
the one that was wrong? What kind of deranged
Real Housewives of New York
, Kelly Bensimon shit is that? Just take the dildo outta yo’ ass and apologize,” Dylan shouted, causing people to stare.
“I wish I would. As a matter of fact, pay for your own damn mani and pedi, broke ass!” He took his feet out of the water and got up.
“I will!”
“Ya’ mama!” Dylan yelled after him and crossed her legs.
“He is
such
a queen,” Billie shook her head.
such
a queen,” Billie shook her head.
“Girl, he make me sick,” Dylan fumed. “But, ah,” she whispered, “you know I ain’t got no money, right?”
Billie turned and looked at her.
“I got you, broke ass.”
“It’s official, you got issues.”
Aaliyah, “We Need a Resolution”
8
After a full twenty-four hours of giving Tee-Tee the silent treatment, Dylan caved in and texted him.
To: Tee-Tee
Have u realized that I’m not speaking 2 u yet?
Sent: Fri, April 12, 9:50
P.M.
P.M.
From: Tee-Tee
No, cuz I’m not speaking 2 u.
Received: Fri, April 12, 9:52
P.M.
P.M.
To: Tee-Tee
U say what now?
Sent: Fri, April 12, 9:53
P.M.
P.M.
From: Tee-Tee
U heard me!
Received: Fri, April 12, 9:56
P.M.
P.M.
To: Tee-Tee
Bitch, how in the hell r u not speakin’ 2 me? U pissed me off, lol!
Sent: Fri, April 12, 9:59
P.M.
P.M.
From: Tee-Tee
Nooooooo, u pissed me off, coon.
Received: Fri, April 12, 10:04
P.M.
P.M.
Dylan had had enough. Thoroughly amused by his so-called attitude, she stopped texting him and dialed his number.
“What do you want, li’l girl?” he answered the phone dryly.
“I can’t stand you,” Dylan chuckled. “So you really call yourself having an attitude?”
“Mmm-hmm.” He took a long sip of chamomile tea.
“Boy, please, get over yo’self. You hurt my feelings, not the other way around.”
“Ugh, okay. I’m sorry. You were right. I shouldn’t have told him to leave. That wasn’t my place. Huuuuuuuh.”
“Thank you, and I’m sorry for being a baby bitch today. That was ignorant.”
“You can’t help yourself,” Tee-Tee leaned back in his love seat and crossed his legs.
“Whateva,” she laughed.
“But, nah, for real, the reason I was so bitchy is because I got a call yesterday from the adoption agency and the girl changed her mind and decided she wanted to keep the baby, so we’re back at square one,” he confessed.
“Tee-Tee, why didn’t you say something?” Dylan asked, feeling horrible.
“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to believe it was true. We were so banking on her giving us the baby that we never thought she would change her mind. But it’s all good. God got another baby for us . . . I know it,” Tee-Tee encouraged himself.
“I’m glad you realize that.”
“Yeah,” he yawned. “I’ll just be glad when this whole thing is over, and I have my baby in my arms.”
“Me too, but guess what?” Dylan exclaimed.
“What?”
“I just got a call from Brenda. Kensington has offered me a two-book deal.”
“Get it, bitch!” Tee-Tee shrieked. “How much money you gon’ get? I mean, if you don’t mind me askin’.”
“Forty thousand.”
“A’ight now!” Tee-Tee clapped. “We in the money!”
“I know. I’m so excited.”
“Have you told Billie yet?” Tee-Tee asked.
“No. Have you talked to her?”
“No.”
“You know you need to call and apologize.”
“Yeah, I just haven’t called her yet.”
“Well, hold on, I’m gettin’ ready to call her and press *67.”
“Grow . . . up,” Tee-Tee laughed.
“Shut up and hold on,” Dylan clicked over and dialed Billie’s number. “Hello,” she said, clicking back over.
“I’m here,” Tee-Tee answered.
After five rings, Knox picked up the phone.
“Hello?” he spoke deeply.
“Hey, gorgeous, is Billie there?” Tee-Tee asked sweetly.
“Hold on, man.” Knox passed her the phone.
“Who is it,” she mouthed.
“Yo’ homeboy.”
“Homegirl!” Tee-Tee yelled into the receiver.
“What you want, hag?” Billie spat, getting on to the line.
“Guuuuuuurl, you is workin’ my nerves,” he massaged his temples.
“I ain’t got time for all the back and forth, Tee-Tee. Say what you called to say.”
“I called to tell yo’ funky ass that I was sorry, but you about to piss me off!” he shot into the phone.
“IDC!”
“What the hell? You mean IDK?”
“No, I mean I don’t care!” Billie declared. “You
ought
to be sorry. You hurt my feelings.”
ought
to be sorry. You hurt my feelings.”
“My bad, girl. You know I wasn’t tryin’ to. I just had a rough day that’s all, but anyway, you talked to Dylan?” he asked.
“Nope.”
“How her broke ass pay for them swole, crusty feet?” he joked.
“I paid for them. Who else was gon’ pay for’em. You know she ain’t got no money.”
“She got some money somewhere. Shit, have you noticed how much weight she’s gained? That bitch been over there eatin’,” Tee-Tee laughed.
“YES, she
is
huge,” Billie stressed.
is
huge,” Billie stressed.
“Right. Face lookin’ like Snooki,” Tee-Tee joined, causing Billie to die laughing.
“Really?”
Dylan jumped into the conversation, heated. “That’s really how y’all feel?”
Dylan jumped into the conversation, heated. “That’s really how y’all feel?”
“Girl, shut up. I knew yo’ dumb ass was on the phone,” Billie calmed down.
“How?”
“’Cause you the only ignorant ass that would call my house and press *67.”
“Oh. Anyway, guess what, bitch?” Dylan said excited.
“What?”
“I got an offer for a two-book deal with Kensington!”
“Shut the front door, lock it, and draw the blinds,” Billie said, surprised. “I am
proud
of you,” she cooed.
proud
of you,” she cooed.
“Thanks, love,” Dylan gleamed.
“Oh, we really gotta kick it tomorrow,” Billie said, amped. “By the way, what you wearing tomorrow?”
“I haven’t decided yet.” Dylan scratched the back of her head.
“So you still don’t feel bad about not inviting Candy?”
“No, I wouldn’t invite her to a dogfight.”
“Now, Dylan, that’s not right,” Billie couldn’t help but laugh.
“Right, don’t be talkin’ about my auntie like that,” Tee-Tee warned.
“Boy, boo, that heffa stole $50,000 from me—$50,000 that I need
right now
,” Dylan stressed.
right now
,” Dylan stressed.
“That is true,” Tee-Tee agreed.
“Beside, we all know the only time she comes around is when she needs pee for her parole officer,” Dylan joked.
“You stupid,” Billie giggled.
“I’m serious.” Dylan couldn’t help but laugh too.
“Look, Dylan,” Tee-Tee said, “I know she’s no prize, but don’t you want to have a relationship with your mother? Especially since you’re about to be one yourself?”
“Candy and I have never had a relationship, and we probably never will. To me, she’s just some woman who shows up every couple of years to ask me for money, and to her, I’m just a chunky, naïve ATM. And frankly, I’m sick of it. Candy has been using me since the day I was born. You know I never saw a dime from the money I won doing pageants.”
“Really, Dylan?” Tee-Tee said. “What the hell you gon’ do with a $500 savings bond now?”
“Heffa, I won more than $500!”
“Yeah, in your mind,” he teased.
“Whateva,” she waved him off as if he could see what she was doing. “Anyway, Billie,” she began to speak when she heard Knox say, “Let me holla at you” in the background.
“Hold on,” Billie set the phone down on her lap so they wouldn’t hear her conversation.
“How long you think you gon’ be on the phone?”
“IDK.”
Aggravated by her response, Knox inhaled deeply and shook his head.
“Why? You need to use it?” she asked.
“No, I just figured that since it was my off day and you been gone all day that we could spend some time together now, but it don’t look like that’s gon’ happen,” he said, obviously let down.
“Can you just give a minute? I’m tryin’ to talk to Dylan and Tee-Tee about the shower.”
“Damn, wasn’t you just with them yesterday? Y’all ain’t talk about that shit then?”
“Umm,” Billie’s eyes grew wide, “we did, but what does that have to do with anything?”
“It’s good. I’m not gon’ do this shit wit’ you tonight. Good night.” Knox left the sitting room, heated.
“Good night,” she shot back, not recognizing how upset he was. “My bad, y’all,” she picked back up the phone and resumed her conversation.
“Uhhhhh, don’t you ever in your life have us on hold that long,” Tee-Tee complained.
“Boy, hush.”
“What Knox want?” Dylan asked, being nosy.
“Nothin’. Wanted to see how long I was gon’ be on the phone so we could spend some together,” she huffed.
“And you’re still on the phone with us
because?
” Tee-Tee asked, puzzled.
because?
” Tee-Tee asked, puzzled.
“’Cause we talkin’ about the shower, and besides, I’m not gettin’ ready to stop doing what I’m doing to appease him. Been there, done that, and I ain’t going back there no more.”
“Okay, Billie, now I’m wit’ Tee-Tee. Are you listening to yourself right now?” Dylan asked.
“What?” Billie replied, oblivious to her behavior.
“I understand that you got a lot going on, but damn, none of that is as important as your husband. That man halfway like yo’ ass, and you over there pushing him away.”
“I just don’t wanna look up one day and I’m in the same position where I’ve given my all and this muthafucka decides that I’m not good enough and doesn’t want me anymore. I can’t go through that kinda hurt again,” Billie said, put off by the thought.
“That’s understandable, friend, but you can’t compare Knox to Cain, especially when he’s given you no reason to. Knox is a good dude who loves you and all them bad-ass gremlins you call kids. Now what you don’t wanna do is take him for granted and one day wake up and realize that you’ve done so much damage to y’all relationship that you’ll never get him back. I’m tellin’ you that shit will eat you alive. Knowing you fucked up is worse than any pain Cain could’ve ever caused you. ’Cause when they hurt you, it stings like hell for a while, but then we remember that we are the shit and can find someone new that’s gonna treat us the way we deserve to be treated. But when
you’re
the reason they’re gone and ain’t neva coming back, man . . .” Dylan stared absently off into space.
you’re
the reason they’re gone and ain’t neva coming back, man . . .” Dylan stared absently off into space.
Everyone on the line became silent. Billie and Tee-Tee knew that her words of advice had all to do with her tragic ending to her and Angel’s relationship. Billie didn’t want to end up like Dylan. She didn’t want to open her eyes each morning and close them at night knowing that the man who loved her more than life was gone and had moved on with a new chick while she sat back in agony mourning the death of their relationship.
“Since when did you get so smart?” Billie wiped a tear from her ear.
“I don’t take any of the credit. I give it all to my favorite reality shows
Bethanny Getting Married
and
The Bad Girls Club
. They’ve taught me everything I know,” Dylan stated proudly, smiling.
Bethanny Getting Married
and
The Bad Girls Club
. They’ve taught me everything I know,” Dylan stated proudly, smiling.
“You just had to go and ruin it, didn’t you?” Billie shook her head.
“I’m serious.”
“And that’s the sad part,” Billie replied with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. “Look, I’ma take your advice and get the stick out my ass and go spend some time with my husband before I end up being a Hollaback girl. Does anybody still say that?”
“No,” Dylan giggled.
“Oh, well, anyway, you get the gist.”
“All I got to say is you better treat that man right ’cause if you don’t want him, I’ll for damn sure take him,” Tee-Tee jumped in.
“Heffa, please, you can forget about it. That white stallion is all mine.”
“Well, go get’em, cowgirl.”
“Yeeeeee haw,” Billie screamed in their ear before hanging up and dashing up the steps.
Thrusting open the bedroom door she yelled out, “Babe,” but got no reply.
“He must be in the bathroom,” she spoke out loud to herself.
Billie walked a few steps over to the master bath. She placed her hand on the knob and turned but surprisingly still saw no signs of Knox. After checking the security monitor and viewing each room on the screen and not finding him, Billie grabbed the house phone and sat on the leather bench in front of her bed, stooped.
“Where in the hell is he at?” she wondered out loud while calling his cell phone, but Knox didn’t answer.
Calling him again, Billie crossed her legs and waited with baited breath.
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