Matched (36 page)

“Can I see her?” I blurt out, wanting to hear from her own mouth how she’s feeling.

“Yeah, I told her you’re here,” Cruz says, lowering his head and rubbing the back of his neck. I hear Adam leave us, though my attention is fixed on Cruz’s obvious fatigue.

A nurse walks out of another room, and I stop her. “Do you have a free bed around here to get a few hours’ sleep in?”

She nods, unlocks a door a little farther down, and points inside.

“Thank you,” I say as she leaves.

“Good idea.” Cruz’s entire body shifts to face me, our hands still linked. “You should sleep after you see her.”

“Actually,” I say, praying he’ll agree, “I was thinking you should go in there and rest. You’re exhausted—and not just your body, but…” I squeeze his hand, staring into those stormy sapphire depths. “It’s been a hard night for you. Please sleep.”

“I’ll take the chair in her room.”

I shake my head, my thumb tracing the scar on his knuckles. “Please, Cruz. I’ll stay with her the rest of night, and we can switch later if you want.”

“You’re staying?” He looks hopeful, and I smile.

“Of course. She needs friends right now.
You
need friends.”

A long silence stretches between us, with neither of our gazes averting, before he speaks. “Thank you, Harlow. Emma adores you.”

“Nothing to thank me for. I haven’t done anything. Emma’s amazing. I’m actually grateful for the show, because without it, I’d never have met her or Jas—I mean, Miranda—or Callie. Made it all worth it.”

“I know what you mean.” His free hand sneaks up between us, his thumb touching the contours of my cheek.

Maybe it’s exhaustion or purely the baser instincts that flare up when we’re together, but I can’t hold it in a minute longer. “I’m sorry about the grotto.”

“Harlow—”

“No, please, let me say this.” My eyes slam shut, and I find courage in my darkness. “I’ve only ever been with Oakley. I went out with Jake a few times, and there were occasional coffee dates with a couple guys that never went well, but what I’m trying to say is…I don’t know how to do this. I mean, I don’t know if what I feel for you is real or just the beginning of some…rebound. But Cruz, I’m almost sure it isn’t. Not that I know what it feels like, but it can’t feel like this or it wouldn’t be a bad word.”

I’m rambling now, and when I open my eyes I look anywhere but at him. “I feel so dumb saying this, but I can’t stop thinking about you. And I know it’s wrong because I came on this show with another guy, and then got engaged to him.” My voice quivers as how much has changed sinks in. I take my hand from his, needing some distance to express myself properly. “I’m not looking for a fling, and I think you’re incredible. So whatever this is that I’m feeling, please, just be honest with me…is it all in my imagination?”

I wait with my head ducked, my pulse sporadic. I see his legs move closer—too close—and then his finger hooks under my chin, demanding my attention.

“No, Harlow.” His lip quirks up and his eyes sparkle, his thumb tracing my bottom lip. “It’s not.”

I never see it coming, since my mind is fogged with his words. His lips graze mine, lush and tender. His tongue glides across the seam of my lips, seeking an invitation as his arms wind around my body and draw me against him. With one hand on my hip and the other cradling the back of my head, he moves us two short strides forward and we collide with the wall. His body magnetizes to mine and I sigh against his mouth. His tongue swoops inside, stroking over mine with feral command.

My entire body purrs in pleasure and my hands plow through his hair, holding him closer as the kiss escalates. It’s different—invigoratingly superior to anything I’ve ever felt. His fingers dig into my flesh, a low growl humming from deep within him when I suck his tongue deeper, harder. It’s a heady mix of intense need, a familiar bond, devouring passion, and sweet adoration all combined beautifully.

When he breaks us apart reluctantly and places a final peck to the corner of my lips, my insides ignite from the smile on his gorgeous face.

“Emma still awake?” Court interrupts. We both look to see him walking over, with magazines and books stacked in his hands.

Neither of us reply, and his knowing chuckle tells us he understands why.

My attention returns to Cruz, who’s backing away slowly. “Good night, Harlow.” He winks, then disappears into the free room for some sleep.

“Hey, can I come in?” I ask when Court opens Emma’s door for me.

He moves aside so I can see her in the small bed. An IV is attached to her hand, but she’s wide awake, even though the sun has to be close to rising.

“Yeah.” She waves me in. “Court was just leaving.”

His eyelids squeeze together tightly, his jawline strained. He stands there for only a moment before walking to her bedside, leaning down, and taking her hand. He brings it to his lips and kisses it softly. “I’ll be back later. Sleep for me, darlin’.”

“I will.”

Not wanting to intrude on their moment, I survey every odd fixture in the room.

“Remember what you promised me,” she tells him.

“Yeah, but you promised to seal the deal.”

I glance in their direction subtly, and see her shy smile as he bends forward and claims her lips in the sweetest of kisses. The perfect gentleman, he then kisses her forehead. “Sleep now.”

She tugs at her bottom lip with her teeth, blushing a wild pink and gives a slight wave.

He walks backward, eyes on her until he reaches the door, then notices me again. “Don’t keep her long.”

“I won’t,” I answer pointedly, noticing his attention’s still transfixed on the girl he’s leaving.

When he walks out and shuts the door behind him quietly, I make my way to the empty armchair beside Emma’s bed.

“Hey,” I offer weakly, unsure where she and I stand after our fight.

“Hey.”

I hate that it’s uncomfortable, but I know it’s my place to go first. “I never should’ve insulted your brother by hitting on him in the grotto. You’re right—it came off as me wanting a rebound. But I swear to you, it wasn’t…not intentionally, anyway. I liked him, I still do, and it’s confusing and scary. And more than anything, I don’t ever want you mad at me again.”

I lift my head that drooped during my rambling, and tense at the startling indifference in her expression. But I push on, hoping she’ll understand and forgive me. “Emma, I talked to Cruz. I apologized, and I think we’re in an okay place now.”

Still, she says nothing. I release a strangled breath, deciding to drop it and change the subject. “Cruz told me about Alport syndrome—about your dad and Uncle Jack.” At that, her eyes widen and lips part. “I’m so sorry. I’m here for you—anything you need.”

“He told you?”

“Yes, and I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re dealing with…how difficult it’s been growing up…and I just want you to know that—”

“You’re here for me. You already said that.”

“Yes.” I sit up straighter, at a loss for words that will penetrate.

“Did you question him about it?” she asks.

My brows knit together. “What?”

“My brother. Did you do the whole twenty-question thing until you wore him down for the answers?”

“No!” I nearly shriek, appalled at the presumption. “He told me, and I listened. Why would you think I’d…” Tears sting my eyes and my head snaps to the side. I’m determined to keep the reins on my stoicism. “I know you’re mad at me, but I’m not a horrible bitch, Emma. I’m sorry you think I’d stoop so low.” I stand slowly. “I’ll leave you to rest.”

“Please sit down. I didn’t mean to imply…” She sighs. “If anyone’s being a bitch, it’s me.”

Watching the melancholy ripple over her face, I sit. “You’re allowed to be. Pretty sure you get a free pass.”

“Can I cash it in for a kidney?”

My empathetic smile vanishes. “Emma, I—”

“Stop, seriously. I’ll be fine or I won’t, but that’s not something you can change. If it’s my time to go, I can’t stop that. I just want to live a little bit longer, ya know?”

I nod, inhaling deeply to control the surge of beckoning tears. If she can lie there and keep her composure while knowing any day could be her last, I sure as hell am not going to force her to watch me break down.

“I know you like my brother,” she says quietly. “Most of the house knows it, and it pissed me off because he never lets anyone in. But I saw the way he looked at you. Harlow, you’re the first girl I’ve ever seen him actually care about…and not in the cheap-thrills sort of way. He really saw you—saw something he wanted to be a part of.”

I’m breathless, completely hooked on every word, and relieved she’s opening up.

Emma’s hands smooth over her blanket, her countenance bleak as she continues. “You have to understand…he’s had a hard childhood, trying to take care of me when my mom wouldn’t, and trying to take care of her at the same time. It’s been rough again since our Uncle Jack passed. Aunt Melanie does a lot, but Cruz feels like I’m his sole responsibility. When I heard he got invited to the show, I made him sign on and bring me because I wanted to escape—to live it up as much as possible. But more than anything…” Her chin quivers. “I hoped he’d find someone here…that epic once-in-a-lifetime love…someone to cherish and take care of him like he deserves. ’Cause he does. More than anyone in this world.”

“Emma.” I clutch her hand.

“I know it’s silly.” A stifled laugh breaks free. “Who finds lasting love on a reality show? But I’ve always been an optimist; I have to be. And I was right, you’re everything he needs and more. You were meant to be here, meant to meet him. I couldn’t stand the idea that it wouldn’t work out—that you’d cheapen it by having some fling with him to get over Oakley. I wasn’t just angry, Harlow. I was devastated.”

I’ve never felt shittier, offering a sheepish smile to ease the heaviness. “You know your brother’s smarter than that. He stopped anything from happening—me from screwing things up. But I barely know him. Just because we may have an attraction to each other doesn’t mean I’m the one.”

“Don’t you see? It was fate, all of this. I’m begging you to please give him a chance. He’s a good guy—the best—and I can’t leave this earth knowing he’s alone.”

“Em…”

“Please, just a chance to see. Don’t fuss over ‘too soon’ or ‘can’t be,’ Harlow. Feel, embrace, and love like there are no rules. ’Cause there really aren’t.”

My answer’s easy, because she makes me want to jump without concern for what’s below. “Of course.”

“Thank you.” It’s a relieved breath of air that seems to take everything out of her. She closes her eyes, draws the blankets up over her shoulders, and snuggles into her pillow, getting comfortable. “We should sleep. You’re staying, right?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“You kidding?” Her eyes open, shining bright. “I insist. It’s why they brought in a recliner. Blankets are over on the shelf.”

I smile, thankful she’s letting me back in, which releases the weight of a thousand bricks from my shoulders. But then the fear of what tomorrow brings—awaiting her results—causes them all to crash right over my heart.

Confessional: Court Callahan

“Why am I here at the house? Good damn question! Don’t worry, Mom—no need to tan my hide. I’ll be more’n happy to kick my own ass.

“But you haven’t met my Emma…yet. Girl’s as bullheaded as anyone you’ll ever meet, I tell ya. ‘Go home,’ she says…‘Get some sleep,’ she says. How am I supposed to even think about sleepin’ when she’s lyin’ in that bed, hooked to machines, fightin’ for…for…

“Shit! I feel so fuckin’ helpless! Lil’ darlin’ drives a hard bargain—knows damn good and well she’s got me by the balls. I made a promise, and finally got to kiss those precious lips. So that’s exactly what I have to do—cowboy up and keep my word. But the minute she’s better, you can bet I’m gonna spank that sweet ass o’ hers.

“Sorry again, Mom. Ask Dad. He’ll understand.”

Chapter 26

I awake to Emma’s laughter, and hear her speaking quietly. “Yes, Mel, I know. He’s not like that, though, I swear.”

My eyes open, and I yawn as I adjust to a better position. The blanket is pooled at my feet, so I pull it up around me and rest my head back in the chair.

Morning
, Emma mouths to me.

I smile, listening as she laughs again. “Oh my God, you did
not
just say that! Uncle Jack would flip if he heard you...I know you do, but Court’s a perfect gentleman…Yes, exactly…Nope, Cruz’s only punched him once, so there’s hope.”

It’s me giggling now. Poor Court’s still got discoloration from Cruz’s wrath.

“I promise I’ll call you later…love you too. Bye.” She hangs up, smiling to herself as she grabs a glass of water from the side table. “You sleep okay? Your neck looked kinda painful at one point.”

I’m kneading out the kinks as she speaks. “Yeah, I’m good. How’s your aunt?”

“Worried as always, but understanding. She gets me—knows what being on this island means to me and won’t let Adam or Cruz mess that up.”

“I’m glad. I want you safe and healthy, but I’ll miss you if you leave.”