Authors: Robert Fabbri
âWhich, after five years as legate of the Second Augusta, has got to be soon; so what's the problem?'
âHe's going to cheat you, even if you have a contract.'
âI know he will and he's banking on me not taking him to court because the contract will show me publicly in a less than favourable light to my peers. Even though they all would do the same it's best not to be seen doing it, especially if one wants to be consul some day.'
âExactly, you wouldn't risk that, would you?'
âOf course not.'
âSo you're just going to let him make a fool of you?'
âNo, Magnus, I'm going to let him make a fool of himself.'
âWell, good luck, because I can tell you that men like Theron ain't made fools of easily.'
The shrill blare of a lituus cavalry horn coming from within the camp ended the discussion. Vespasian turned towards the sound and looking up the Via Principalis saw a turma of cavalry dismounting outside the praetorium. Even at that distance he recognised the imposing figure and uniform of his commanding officer. âAulus Plautius! Saturn's stones, what's he doing here?'
*
âWe have just a month, gentlemen!' Aulus Plautius bellowed at Vespasian and Sabinus, drowning out the cries and whip-cracks from outside the praetorium tent. âNo more than a month before our replacements arrive and we have to spend the winter briefing them and showing them around before we return to Rome. And if we want to come home covered in glory then I suggest that we take Caratacus in chains along with us.' Plautius fixed the two brothers sitting opposite him across the desk with an indignant, red-faced glare.
Vespasian shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he watched the veins throbbing in his commanding officer's bull-like neck; since his arrival at the II Augusta's camp Plautius had not been in the best of moods.
Plautius picked up a scroll and brandished it at the brothers. âNarcissus has written to me stating that seeing as after three and a half years Caratacus remains at large, threatening our supply lines, ambushing columns and generally making a nuisance of himself, he feels the time has come to replace me and you two with men who own a degree of military competence. Military competence! The jumped-up little Greek shit! He wouldn't know military competence if it barged its way up his arse and saluted.' Plautius paused, breathing deeply through flaring nostrils, contemplating, Vespasian surmised, other more solid objects that he would like to see barging their way up that particular orifice. âThe trouble is, gentlemen,' Plautius continued with a degree of calm returning to his voice, âthat the soft-living bastard has got a point: why the fuck is Caratacus' head still on his shoulders and not decorating the end of a spike? How can I claim that the southern half of this dung-heap of an island is under Roman control when our lads have to go to the latrines in groups of eight so that they can hold each other's hands for fear of having their arses wiped by a Britannic spear rather than a decent Roman sponge?'
Vespasian felt it was best not to point out that this was a wild exaggeration. However, he could well appreciate Plautius' exasperation at the fact that, despite having taken the surrender of all
the tribes in the south of Britannia â apart from the Dumnonii in the extreme southwest â he still had Caratacus at large with the ability to pop up with a considerable force and do humiliating damage. Apart from anything else, it was not good for trade and the occupied parts of the island were now swarming with fat merchants eager, like Theron, to squeeze as much cash out of the province as possible, whether it be in tin, lead, slaves, hunting dogs, pearls or any other commodity.
Vespasian glanced sidelong at his brother and now understood why Plautius had ordered him to come in person to pick up his ships, so far from the XIIII Gemina's camp on the east bank of the Sabrina River: this was a planned meeting to discuss a two legion offensive. The grating of wood on wood followed by a large splash and much shouting signified that another bireme had been launched.
âWe should strike west in conjunction, sir,' Sabinus stated, having come to the same conclusion as Vespasian, âand try to crush Caratacus between us.'
âNo!' Plautius slammed his fist onto the desk. âThat's just what we shouldn't do, Sabinus; that's just what he wants us to do. He would dearly love to draw your legions into the wild hills beyond the Sabrina; we don't even know his whereabouts so we'd be blundering about on his terms. We've got to draw him to us.'
Feeling relieved that he had not made the suggestion that had seemed so obvious, Vespasian sat in silence hoping for the benefit of Plautius' military wisdom. The unmistakable screams of a man being nailed to a cross rode through the air.
Having glared at Sabinus for long enough to communicate his severe displeasure and disappointment, Plautius turned his attention to Vespasian. âWell?'
Vespasian opened his mouth and then closed it.
âCome on, legate, you must have something sensible to say even if your brother hasn't!'
âAbout Caratacus, sir?'
âOf course about Caratacus; who else do you think we're talking about? How do we draw Caratacus to us rather than risk doing a Varus and marching a couple of legions into miserable
terrain full of valleys, all damp as a whore's minge, that can only be described as ideal ambush country?'
âAttack something he values, sir.'
âThank you; one of you at least has picked up a bit of soldiering whilst you've been here.'
Vespasian was aware of Sabinus bristling next to him. The crucified man's screaming suddenly stopped but the shifting clamour of massed exertion continued.
âSo what does he value enough to make him risk venturing out of his gods-cursed hole across the Sabrina River?'
Vespasian glanced at his brother to give him a chance to make up for his earlier mistake.
âWell, we believe that he has his wife and children with him,' Sabinus ventured, âso that's not an option. The rest of his family are either dead or have surrendered; his lands in the east are occupied and whatever wealth he had is now in our hands. It doesn't really leave much.'
âOf course it does, you fool! It leaves the one thing that he values most: his support. That's the only thing that's important to him; essential even. If he doesn't have support he ceases to matter and goes from being a king resisting a conquering army to being a mere brigand.'
âThe druids!' Vespasian blurted.
âPrecisely. The druids support his resistance because it's in their interests to do so and their continued backing gives him a legitimacy that transcends tribal loyalties amongst every savage on this island. Now, the policy of cutting down their groves has worked very well in the areas that we occupy and there are very few of those filthy, matted-haired sons of gorgons left; and whenever we do come across one we nail him up pretty sharpish. However, there are a few more nests of these vermin and if we threaten one of them then I believe that Caratacus will have to come to its aid. And we've got a month to do it in so that we can say “Fuck you and your military competence” â in the nicest possible way of course â to Narcissus when we get back to Rome.' Plautius referred to the map lying unrolled on the desk. âNow, there are two breeding grounds of this druidical abomination.'
He pointed to a small island just off the west coast, beyond the Roman sphere of influence. âThis is called Mona; apparently it's swarming with them. It would be ideal but it's too far behind their lines.'
âNot if we go by sea, sir,' Vespasian pointed out.
âIt's a long way, the seas are treacherous and the coast is very rocky, according to the only survey ship that has ever come back from up there. Talking of ships: how are they doing, Vespasian?'
âThey'll all be afloat by nightfall.'
âGood, because you're going to need them.' Plautius brought his finger down south on the map and rested it on the north coast of the southwestern peninsula of the island. âAround here somewhere is Durocornavis, the main fortress of the Cornovii. They're a sub-tribe of the Dumnonii and may or may not be related to the Cornovii in the north of the island who are our buffer between us and the Brigantes. Just close by the fortress is a huge rock, almost an island that juts out into the sea. I'm told that this is a place of deep mysticism for the druids; they have many legends attached to it and it is of great importance to them.
âNow, it's too far into unconquered territory to risk a land assault in just a month but if we make Caratacus think that we're mad enough to try he'll come to the aid of the Cornovii and the druids, otherwise he'll lose all credibility. And he won't be able to resist the chance to cut a whole legion up.
âHe'll either sail across the Sabrina channel or around it; or, perhaps, make his way there by land. Whichever way he chooses he can't take a big force with him, just a few followers; but to his mind that's irrelevant as there will be plenty of long-hairs down there ready to fight for him because of his reputation. He just needs to get there and we must capture him as he tries.'
Vespasian looked at the map; it was very vague, just a rough approximation of the coastline of the peninsula with the Cornovii marked towards its tip; and then to the north, across the widening Sabrina channel, another crude coastline with the Silures written in, seemingly at random. âWe have no idea of the distances, do we, sir?'
âNone; the channel could be twenty miles wide or a hundred at any point, we just don't know; as I said, only one survey ship has ever returned. What we do know is that they are very treacherous waters and we've already lost too many ships trying to get round the peninsula, which is why we're bringing the smaller ships overland and building new big ones.'
âSo we've no idea how long the news of our supposed attack on these druids will take to reach Caratacus; in which case he might judge that it's all over by the time he hears of it and it's not worth the risk coming.'
Plautius smiled for the first time since arriving, raising his eyebrows. âThat's why I've taken the trouble to inform him of our supposed intentions in advance by using one of his own weapons against him: Alienus.'
âAlienus!' Vespasian and Sabinus exclaimed simultaneously.
âWho better? After he escaped from your camp last year, Vespasian, he disappeared completely, probably judging, correctly, that his face was a bit too well known for his line of subterfuge. However, a couple of months ago he reappeared, masquerading as a Britannic merchant dealing in pearls. He's grown his hair and a long moustache but he was recognised by one of my slaves in the market at Camulodunum. I decided not to apprehend him but instead had him followed. It turned out that not all of his pearls were traded for money or goods, some he set aside to buy information with from one of the clerks who copies out my written orders. Having completed his business he sailed west up the Tamesis and then crossed into enemy territory. I countermanded the information that he was carrying and gave orders to let him go, hoping that he would be back. Sure enough five days ago, just after I received Narcissus' insulting letter, he arrives with more pearls. I immediately drafted orders for you, Vespasian, to take the II Augusta, destroy Durocornavis and kill all the druids that you find on the rock and that I would come down to take overall command; and to you, Sabinus, I wrote that you were not to proceed any further west this year and spend the time building defences. Needless to say I didn't send those orders to you, I just allowed Alienus to purchase them from the clerk.'
Vespasian looked at his commanding officer with admiration, thinking that, for all his ill-temper, he never tired of learning from him. âSo Caratacus thinks he's free to go to the druids' aid?'
âNot yet, but by tomorrow or the next day he will. I made sure that I left, very publicly, before Alienus; he's behind me and convinced that he's got vital information for his master so he'll be travelling fast.'
âWe'd better get a move on then.'
âWe'll be fine as long as you sail tomorrow with your six biremes. Find this place and then cut it off from the sea, intercept every ship or boat you see and patrol the coast further west so Caratacus doesn't land behind you. Use the marines and do some raiding; kill a few and stir them up a bit.' Plautius turned to Sabinus. âMeanwhile, Sabinus, you sail back north around the coast with your ships, check every inlet and bay. I'll stay here with the legion and keep the countryside well patrolled. Between us we should snare him. Once we have Caratacus you return to your legion and await my orders to advance across the Sabrina and start securing territory, slowly but surely. Take no risks, it's not about quick victory, it's about convincing a good percentage of the Silures' chieftains that without Caratacus uniting them their defeat is inevitable and it's just a question of how many warriors they want left in their settlements under Roman rule. Do you understand?'
âYes, sir. And what if I find Alienus? I've a score to settle with him and a nice idea of how to settle it.'
âYou can have him and nail him up for all I care. I'm not going to leave a useful asset like that around for my replacement to use and help him to look as if he has more
military competence
than me.' The flush in Plautius' face returned as he spat out that loathed and insulting phrase.
âThank you, sir; it'll be a pleasure to help preserve your reputation.'
Vespasian licked his fingers and then wiped them on the napkin spread out in front of him on the couch before helping himself to another of the fine local oysters. Hormus refilled Sabinus' proffered cup and then stepped back into the shadows.
âAnd as to who my replacement will be,' Aulus Plautius continued, breaking a duck leg in two and dripping thick, brown sauce onto his napkin, âI neither know nor care; he's welcome to this province as far as I'm concerned, with all the
military competence
that he can muster.' He drained his wine â his fifth cup of the dinner â before taking his anger out on his duck leg, gnawing noisily on it and then pointing it at Vespasian. âBut mind you, according to my wife's letters, the Rome that we'll be returning to is not the same as the one we all left at the beginning of Claudius' reign. The in-fighting for the mastery of Rome between his freedmen and the Empress rages on whilst Claudius, having celebrated his Triumph for his
glorious victory
in Britannia and having just annexed the client-kingdom of Thracia to further prove his military competence, now immerses himself in public projects and the law courts trying to create a legacy for himself. He's busy building a new port at Ostia, two new aqueducts â as well as repairing the Aqua Virgo â and this year he's started a project to drain the Fucine Lake. Meanwhile the business of government has been completely centralised and anyone who wants a position has to petition either one of the three ex-slaves or a vicious vixen with a sexual appetite that would have made Cleopatra blush.' He held out his cup for Hormus to refill and refused the offer of water.