Marrying the Mistress (15 page)

I groaned. ‘Oh, not the
friend
again. What was it this time?'

‘The same insult as before, ma'am. Only this time, Jamie was not in a mood to ignore it. They were all chasing the ducks over by the mill-pond, with Mr Monkton and a friend of his standing nearby, talking. Then, before we knew it, the two boys were wrestling and pummelling, rolling straight into the pond where the reeds are. It's flooded, you see. Personally, I would not have let them anywhere near it.'

My soup spoon hit the dish with a clatter. ‘Oh, no!'

‘I'm afraid so, ma'am. Mr Monkton and his friend didn't even notice what was happening. But Lord Winterson had just arrived in his carriage. I think he was expecting to see you and take you back home,' she added, coyly. ‘His three hounds raced across the field to the mill-pond and took a flying leap into the water. It was Jamie's shouts they heard, I think.'

I whispered from between my fingers. ‘What then? Didn't Mr Monkton see
anything
?'

‘No, ma'am. It was the wolfhounds the boys clung to. They're so strong. They pulled them to the edge, barking like mad, and Lord Winterson went running full tilt, and climbed down into the water and lifted them out. I was there by that time, and Mrs Monkton too. I'm to blame, ma'am. I ought to have been there with them.'

‘No, my dear. Don't blame yourself. Not when other adults were there, on the spot. Was he very upset?'

‘Jamie? Only a little, and not hurt. The other child was very frightened. Jamie told us in the coach what it was all about.'

‘Ah. So Lord Winterson knows?'

‘I felt it best to tell him of the first incident too. I hope I did the right thing, ma'am. Jamie was getting a bit mixed up about his parentage. Oh, dear,' she said, turning a rosy pink. ‘I
do
beg your pardon.'

‘No need, dear Goody,' I said. ‘It is confusing for a three-year-old, particularly when someone comes along to challenge what he's been told. Did Mrs Monkton suggest you should go home?'

‘Oh, no. It was Lord Winterson who said we should go. I think he was rather annoyed with Mr Monkton, and no one protested when we left, not even Jamie. And
I certainly didn't. What a chaotic household, begging your pardon again, ma'am.'

‘So did Jamie's guardian take him to task for brawling in company?'

Goody's tight-lipped disapproval changed to a fleeting smile before her sober reply. ‘Er…no, not exactly,' she said. ‘But he
did
promise to teach him how to swim, in summer. And how to hit with the fist closed instead of open, tucking the thumb down.'

‘How to
hit
someone? God's truth! What kind of a guardian is
that
?'

From the doorway, a deep voice replied. ‘A useful one, I hope. I did knock, but you didn't hear.'

‘Do come in, my lord,' I said. ‘We were discussing the day's events.'

‘Which is what I hope to do too.'

Mrs Goode rose and bobbed a curtsy. ‘Good evening, my lord. Will you please excuse me, ma'am? I have things to attend to upstairs.'

‘Indeed I will. Thank you for all your help. Goodnight.'

Typically discreet, she left us with a smile. Even though Winterson knew she was totally in my confidence, he closed the door behind her without suggesting that she might stay. ‘Well,' he said. ‘Two half-drowned Follets in one day. That must be some kind of record. Do I get a medal?'

T
he way he looked at me across the cosy parlour, arrogance spiced with a trace of uncertainty, I would have given him anything he asked. But he had told me to think with my head instead of my heart, and my reply was guarded, taking into account his request for rewards after a kindness done. ‘Not a medal, but perhaps an hour of my company, my lord, for what it's worth. Will that do from one half-drowned Follet? That, and my thanks for the rescue? I've heard about the mill-pond incident, and I'm most truly grateful to you.'

With arms folded, he lounged against the door looking down his straight nose at me with eyes that roamed, halted, and roamed again, sparing me no little confusion. ‘
How
grateful?' he said.

Yes, anything he asked. ‘Oh, dear,' I said, looking down at my hands. ‘Are we to talk of rewards so soon? Did you ask Jamie, too?'

‘No, he's too young. I prefer to ask his mother instead.'

My heart was misbehaving badly under his scrutiny.
He'd been to Stonegate to change his clothes and to clean up, for he was almost as soaked as I. Now, he was perfectly dressed in a mid-grey tailcoat of smooth superfine with an M-cut collar over a waistcoat, just showing, of silver cut-velvet. It shone like pearls when he moved. The broad shoulder upon which I'd been hoisted only hours before was now unblemished by the slightest wrinkle. His beautiful head appeared to be supported by the white folds of his cravat, and the dark hair showed ridges of dampness along finger-raked waves. He was, in fact, heart-stoppingly desirable. He was also in my room, alone with me, and expecting something.

‘His mother,' I said, ‘has been advised to use more common sense. Perhaps you could help her with that. Will you be seated, sir?'

‘I hoped you'd ask me.'

‘Forgive me. I've only just begun to thaw.'

He pushed himself off the door and came forwards, settling himself into the wing-chair that Mrs Goode had just vacated. ‘So, if it's too soon to discuss rewards, Miss Follet, may I ask how you managed to reach your family at Foss Beck? Is your lady mother improving?'

‘I didn't manage to see her. I didn't actually achieve anything I'd set out to achieve.'

‘Which was?'

‘You must be able to guess, after I'd heard how you intend to reclaim the site. If I'd known it was so badly flooded, I'd have taken help with me.'

‘So why d'ya think I'd drawn a red line round it on the map?'

‘Well, to mark it out for reclamation, I suppose.'

‘Yes, when the floods subside. The red line enclosed the worst areas, to show my father which part is earmarked for the greatest attention.'

‘Attention? You spoke of demolition as if no one lived there. If you knew my family lived there, why did you pretend not to?'

‘Because, Miss Follet, I prefer my father not to know. Would you rather I told him? If I'd thought you intended to race there like a mad March hare without first discussing the problem with me, I'd have told you to wait till it was safe.'

‘Much good the delay would have done when they're going to have to leave for one reason or another. The place is in a terrible state, and they're running short of food and fuel, animals drowned, hens stuck up on the roof. I promised my brothers I'd bring help tomorrow, so I
have
to make another attempt. Somehow. How long have you known?'

‘About your family? Since your visit in the snow. I made enquiries. I knew someone was at Foss Beck, because my bailiff told me. He and my steward keep a close eye on all the estate.'

‘My brothers intended to rebuild parts of it. They love the place.'

‘Using the money from contraband?'

‘Yes. They've saved and been thrifty. They work hard, too.'

‘And the cousin, Pierre Follet? Is he to be rescued too?'

‘Pierre has gone, so my brothers tell me.'

‘Aah! Has he indeed? Where? Back to France?'

‘Why do you say that?'

‘I assumed, that's all.'

‘I don't know. I shall find out when I get them here.'

‘Where…here? In York? You mean, in this house?'

‘Yes, if you'll allow it. It'll be a bit of a squash, but they'll be safe and dry, and well fed.'

‘Tch! Angel of mercy on the rampage again?'

‘I don't need your gibes, my lord. They're my family. We don't do rewards and bargains; we simply help each other for love's sake. You've done the same for yours.'

‘Quite right, sweetheart. And I was not mocking you. Your principles are admirable. You put me to shame.'

Even so, I believed he was mocking me, but this was no time to make an issue of it when I needed his help.

‘Would you care to tell me about them before we meet?' he said, gently.

‘I can do better than that. If you were to help me rescue them tomorrow when you send men to retrieve the phaeton, you could meet them sooner.'

His promptness took me by surprise. ‘That can be done. I will arrange to have them brought here, if that is what you wish.'

‘Thank you. That would help. The floods are actually working in your favour, it seems. They've brought your plans forwards, haven't they?'

‘Yes, that's about the size of it.'

‘And since you have a policy of never doing anything for nothing, I suppose you'll expect them to pay you to be rescued.'

‘You will be familiar, Miss Follet, with the Yorkshire adage, “Never do owt for nowt. And if tha ever does owt for nowt, do it for thi sen.” Yes, I expect there'll be some kind of price to pay. After all, this is my house.'

‘What kind of price do you have in mind, my lord?'

‘I'll think of something. Leave it to me.'

‘Gladly. But I hope it will be something they can afford. Once their livelihood is gone, they'll have few means, except for their savings.'

His fingertips pressed together, making a tall steeple. ‘Then it will have to be something
you
can afford, won't it?' he said, quietly.

Inevitably, we had strayed on to dangerous ground. In a house of this size, it would be quite impossible for us all to live together for long, the three bedrooms being taken up by myself, Mrs Goode and Jamie, with servants' quarters for my cook, housekeeper, maid and footman, chambermaid and kitchen maid. My mother would need a room to share with her two old faithfuls, the two boys to share another. I had no idea where or how they would all fit in, unless I converted my parlour into a bedroom. But where was I going to find beds for them all? Where would I put all the stuff they would bring? If only Winterson would offer them the use of Stonegate. I could not ask him, but I needed more than a rescue for them. I needed another house.

‘I don't suppose…?' I began, hesitantly.

‘Yes?'

‘That there's any chance…well…that they could be…er…re-housed somewhere? The boys are strong. They'll have to start earning. Somehow. I don't expect my mother to see the year out. She'll need my attention. Do you have a small property they could…er… borrow, until…?'

‘Until?'

He was not about to make it easy for me. Why should
he? He had more than once suggested marriage and I had refused to consider it, expecting that he would keep trying. His father had urged him, only to be told that the final decision rested with me, to be made in my own time. Now, much sooner than I had intended, the time had come for me to offer myself as the price of my family's welfare. I would have to summon up the courage.

‘Lord Winterson,' I said, watching his steepled fingers curl up cosily together, ‘you once offered to marry me, for Jamie's sake. Do I take it that your offer still stands?'

‘No,' he said, tonelessly.

‘What?'

‘I said no. I make no offer.'

‘Oh, I see. Then you do not wish me to be your wife, after all.'

‘I didn't say that.'

‘Then what
did
you say?'

‘I said that I make no offer, Miss Follet.'

‘Isn't that the same thing?'

‘Not at all. I have no objection to you making
me
an offer, nor does it stop me accepting it. After all,
you
are using marriage as a bargaining tool, are you not? So if you want that to be the price of my help to your family, then you must offer me that price and let us see if we can reach agreement.'

No doubt he caught something in my eye, some glance of controlled self-consciousness, for he continued before I could find a word to say. ‘Yes, I know what you're thinking. You are recalling the time, only last weekend, when I said I shall never stop wanting you.
It's still true, but you must not confuse that sentiment with weakness. You see, you're just as bad as me when it comes to the price of a favour, are you not?'

‘No,' I said, indignantly. ‘We were talking then of kindnesses. Marriage is not a kindness.'

‘You have experience of it, then?'

‘No more than you, my lord.'

‘Then we're both in the same wobbly boat. Do I take it that you're offering me your hand in marriage? Not for our own sakes, of course, but for more unselfish reasons.'

What deceits. What bickerings and bluff. Who did we hope to fool by this dissembling? I wondered. I adored him, and he must have known it, yet my pride was still unmended and I could not offer it to anyone in that condition. Only as an exchange of favours, so that we both knew what we were getting, this time. So that there was no talk of love, the superb abstract that cannot be weighed or valued. Nothing as fugitive or as fragile as love. No, nothing as dangerous as love that can be confused with so many other agonies. Yet there was a moment, a lull in the grand deception, when our eyes held as they had before, when our desires went naked and wanton into each other's souls, reaching in to dance madly, to mate, and to come as close to love as need be. His eyes darkened, and still I was too uncertain, too cautious to bare my heart to him in words.

‘For those reasons, my lord, yes,' I lied. ‘If you will find them somewhere suitable to live, with a patch of land where they can start again. They can stay with me until then, but I must keep my promise to rescue them tomorrow. Is it agreed between us?'

Leaning forward, he took both my trembling hands
into his. ‘Jamie needs it. Your family needs it. What do
you
need, sweetheart? What is it you intend to withhold? What do you have left to hold on to except that hurt pride? Isn't it time you allowed me to fix it? Just remember this, that I may not know all there is to know about you, yet, I still know more than any other man exactly how that pride was damaged. And although it may be damaged, it's still in good working order. I will accept your offer, even on those terms. I will give them a place to live and make it habitable for them. I'll do whatever is necessary for their comfort. And for that, exactly what am I to expect?'

An end to this dreadful pretence
, I wanted to cry,
for
the pain of it is too terrible for me to bear much longer
. But how could I place my entire trust in such a man whose coldness had hurt me for so many years since that first meeting? Then, there was that one mad night. Then more bewildering indifference. And now this. What was I to believe? What could he expect from me except the same, on a longer time-scale? Passionate nights with intervals of icy coolness that would be as difficult for him to understand as it had been for me? Yes, at one time a certain pretence would have been necessary, for Linas's sake. But surely…oh,
surely
there could have been something to keep my heart from breaking. Had he thought that Jamie was
all
I wanted?

My hesitation was too much for him, and I felt his hands tighten over mine before sliding up to grasp my elbows, pulling me to my feet that were still trapped inside my muff. His grip moved up, his thumbs cruelly hooked beneath my arms, pulling me up to his mouth like a child with a puppet. My body swayed and bent.

His voice was hoarse with emotion, almost angry. ‘Then I'll tell you what I expect, shall I? I expect everything you gave my brother, and more. You'll be in my bed each night and at my board by day. You'll be a friend to my friends and a mother to my children, my companion and helpmeet. In all things obedient. Now, is that what you can offer me, or have I missed something out, Miss Follet?'

Nothing material, I wanted to say. Only the mention of love, which apparently he did not expect. The bargain had only been waiting to be made, but I had not thought it would come like this, so prematurely. It was, after all, only a few short weeks since we'd begun to communicate. But my precious family were all I had, and I was responsible for them.

‘Well?' he whispered. ‘Second thoughts, is it?'

‘No. That
is
what I'm offering. Just that.'

His eyes searched mine for doubts, but found none. ‘Your family must mean much to you. Then we have a deal.'