Marrying Mister Perfect (4 page)

Would Lou be expected to teach her?

Not that there was likely to be a her. Jack
wasn’t any more interested in dating than she was. He’d tried
Match.com once, at the urging of some of his female coworkers, but
it hadn’t lasted long. He’d come home from the dates early, not
wanting to miss bedtime, and then stay up to talk with Lou about
how awkward the dinners had been.

And she would be secretly glad he hadn’t been
able to leave those women fast enough to come home to her and the
kids.

There was probably a picture of the two of
them beside codependent in the dictionary.

When they got to the house, the kids plowed
inside like a tsunami, leaving jackets, shoes and bags in their
wake until she called after them to hang everything up properly—a
reminder they seemed to require every single day, unless they
wanted something. Would a new mommy know that perfectly hung
jackets without badgering were a harbinger of a request for pizza
for dinner or to go see the new Pixar movie?

TJ was still devouring his PB&J at the
kitchen table—they couldn’t have been home more than five
minutes—when a knock came at the kitchen door.

Lou yanked open the door and smiled at the
curvy brunette hovering on the back porch. “Hey.”

Kelly’s backyard was kitty-corner to theirs,
with a worn strip of grass where members of both families regularly
tromped between. Her twin boys were only six months younger than
TJ, and all of the kids played well together. Kelly had saved Lou’s
sanity more than once with well-timed play dates. Now she barreled
in, twins in tow, her eyes glittering with the light of fresh
gossip.

“Omigosh, Lou. Please tell me you know who it
is. I’m dying of curiosity and you have the inside scoop!”

The children immediately formed a noisy knot
and bolted out the still open kitchen door into the yard, TJ
leaving the debris of his lunch on the table. Lou kicked out a
chair at the table for Kelly, glancing at the seat before settling
into her own, glad she’d remembered to clean the mashed Cheerios
off it after breakfast.

“What’s this gossip you want and why do you
think I already know it?” she asked, absently packing away TJ’s
leftovers, one eye on the kids in the backyard.

“It’s all over the news. That astronaut who
was supposed to be the next Mister Perfect? He was caught doing
blow and drag racing through a school zone or some crazy shit and
now the Mister Perfect blogs are going nuts wondering who the new
Mister Perfect is going to be, and who do I know who’s having lunch
with a real live Mister Perfect producer this very afternoon? Why,
Louisa Tanner, of course. So dish, girl! Who’s it going to be? Is
it that dog Javier?”

“I have no idea—and before you go trying to
pump me for more intel, I don’t think Miranda knows yet
either.”

“Well, crap,” Kelly grumbled. “And here I’ve
been bragging about my inside source all day.”

Lou shook her head with mock sympathy. “Pride
goeth before a fall.”

“Oh, don’t look so smug. Like you’ve never
exaggerated online.”

That one hit a little too close to home,
considering all the pretend Mrs. Doyle
-
ing she’d been doing
lately. “Wanna hear something crazy? Miranda is actually going to
try to convince Jack to do it. Be Mister Perfect.”

“You’re kidding. God, he’d be fabulous. Can
you imagine?”

Unfortunately, she could imagine. All too
easily.

Luckily, he’d never agree to it. Not in a
million years.

But maybe he should
.

Kelly frowned. “You okay? You look a little
queasy.”

Lou made a face and picked the safest topic.
“I’m worried Emma’s preschool is going to turn her into a Forrest
Park Stepford Yuppie Child. But it’s such a good school. How do I
know I’m making the right choice by leaving her there?”

“Oh, honey. You never know. We’re all just
stumbling around in the dark. Welcome to parenting.”

“But I’m not a parent.” And there it was. The
real problem.

“Who said that?” Kelly’s spine went stiff
with indignation. “Did Jack say—?”

“No. He wouldn’t. It’s just…” She glanced out
the window, checking to make sure the kids were still on the other
side of the yard.

She liked this. Liked managing Emma and TJ’s
periodic attempts to recreate
Mythbusters
episodes. Liked
being the pseudo-mommy and pseudo-wife.

But that didn’t make it real.

“What happens if Jack falls in love tomorrow?
What happens to me then? My whole life, just
poof
goes away
and I don’t even have a right to say anything about it.”

“Lou.” Kelly gazed at her, wide-eyed, and the
smoke-detector beeped, warning of a failing battery.

Lou glared at it. “That’s just what I
need.”

“You aren’t thinking of leaving, are you?”
Kelly asked.

“No, of course not. But… maybe Jack and I
rely on one another a little too much, you know? Maybe this isn’t
the best thing for us. In the long run.” She looked around the tiny
kitchen she hated. They were planning a remodel. Both of them
treating the kitchen as theirs rather than his in an act of
collective denial. But who knew how long that would last? Would he
wake up some day and remember that she didn’t really have a right
to be here? “I guess I just wonder if we’re helping one another
stay stuck here when we should be… I don’t know. Doing whatever
normal single dads and single women do.”

“Like go on
Marrying Mister
Perfect
.”

“Not necessarily that extreme.” But maybe it
wasn’t the worst idea in the world. At least then she wouldn’t have
to watch him falling in love with her replacement right in front of
her. It would all happen far away and be presented to her as a done
deal. And she’d have the entire time he was gone to get used to the
idea.

If he wanted to go.

And if he wanted to take such drastic
measures to leave her, that would say something in itself.

The smoke detector beeped, like a shrill
countdown timer on the life she’d built.

Chapter
Four

“Miranda came to see me today.”

He’d waited to bring it up until the kids
were in bed and he was up on a step-ladder in the kitchen,
replacing the smoke detector battery. Lou gazed up at his ass—it
was right there at eye-level, how could she avoid it?—and covertly
wiped the drool at the corner of her mouth. “Yeah, she told me she
was going to.”

He looked down and she busied herself
unwrapping the packaging on the new battery so he wouldn’t catch
her gawking at his ass. “So you know what she asked me.”

“True love on national television?”

He made a face. “Is there such a thing?”

“Oh, I don’t know. There have been one or two
success stories. I think it has more to do with how you go into it
than the show itself. If you’re a genuine grounded guy who isn’t
going to get swept away thinking with your penis, you might
actually find the girl of your dreams.”

“Miranda said something about how ten of them
are there for ratings, but twenty would be there for me.” He
plucked the battery off her palm, his fingertips brushing her skin,
though of course he didn’t notice, and turned his attention back to
the smoke detector. “It sounds like it’s insanely competitive to
get on these things. And the women are all going to be adventurous,
or they wouldn’t audition to be on the show.”

“And drop-dead gorgeous.”

Jack grinned down at her. “That doesn’t
hurt.”

There was something behind that smile, some
tinge of excitement that made her stomach clench. Did he actually
want to go? “So you’re considering it?”

“No. Of course not.” He put in the new
battery and fitted the cover back in place. “But you never know how
you’re going to meet the people who change your life. Hell, Gillian
was a blind date. Just because it’s a set-up for the entertainment
of millions doesn’t mean it couldn’t have a nice side effect. And
the experience would be wild.”

He said no, but he really was considering it,
talking himself into it. She’d never imagined he might actually
want
to do it.

“But eight weeks away from the kids? No way.
Even if we did arrange extra visits and lots of phone calls, it
would be too hard on them. Not to mention you.” He climbed down the
step ladder. “Unless you wanted me to do it.”

“If
I
wanted you to?”

“You’re here, taking care of my family when
you could be living your own life.”

This
is
my life
.

“If I did this, Lou, it would be for
you.”

“For me,” she echoed softly. He didn’t see
it. He’d never seen it. And now… “Jack, are you unhappy?”

“Are you?” he countered.

She looked away. “I didn’t think I was
unhappy before today. Now I honestly don’t know how I feel.”

“Lou.” He tipped her chin up, coaxing her to
meet his eyes. “Whether I go or not, we can’t keep going on as we
are. It isn’t fair to anyone. Especially not to you. I hijacked
your life four years ago and it’s past time I gave it back. Maybe
something drastic is a good idea. Neither of us seem to be very
good at dating. But if this isn’t how you want it to happen, just
say the word and I won't even consider it.”

Lou stared into those unfairly blue eyes. He
was so close. Kissably close. If she went up on her toes and he
dipped his head just a bit, their lips would touch. Her breath
caught and tangled in her throat. Her eyes flicked down to his
lips—lips she only thought about kissing one or two million times a
day—then back up to his eyes.

He was always so intent. So focused. In that
moment, she was the single most important thing in his life. If she
said the word, he would stay with her. He would walk away from the
chance to meet the woman of his dreams, hand-picked by Hollywood’s
finest.

Everything she’d ever wanted was just a
breath away. Just one kiss would change everything…

But he wasn’t looking at her like he wanted
to kiss her. Jack was looking at her as if the thought of kissing
her had never once crossed his mind. And it probably hadn’t. He
just didn’t think of her that way. He’d never offered her anything
other than friendship.

Affection? Undeniably. Wild, unbridled lust?
Only in her dreams.

He stood so close, and yet in a way he was
more distant from her than he’d ever been.

He didn’t want her. He never would. And
eventually that knowledge would carve a hole in her soul that would
be filled up with bitterness and regret. She was clinging to a man
who would never love her back, so desperate to hold on to the
illusion of their perfect domestic life that it never even occurred
to her that it might need to change.

Jack was right. They couldn’t go on like this
anymore.

He wasn’t hers. Neither of them had ever
really set any boundaries and they’d grown into an odd
not-quite-a-couple relationship over the last four years, but the
facts remained the same. This wasn’t her house. The kids upstairs
tucked into their beds weren’t her children. And Jack wasn’t her
husband. He never would be. She had to face that reality.

“Lou?” he asked, his gruff voice an abrasion
against her senses. “What do you want?”

She shivered, wanting him so badly she ached.
Lou closed her eyes and held her breath for a moment, trying to
hold onto this last moment before everything changed.

Or maybe things were already irrevocably
different.

“You’re right.” Lou opened her eyes again,
refusing to be a coward who couldn’t face her own choices. She met
Jack’s eyes squarely. “We have to shake things up. You need to get
back out there. Start dating.”

The last word caught in her throat. She
pulled away from Jack and crossed the kitchen, taking deep breaths
until she no longer felt like the world was closing in on her.

“I want you to be happy, Jack. You’re my best
friend and you deserve all the happiness in the world.”

“So do you.” He gave her a crooked smile and
Lou’s heart turned over.

She turned away, reminding herself that he
wasn’t for her and never would be. To occupy her hands, she busied
herself pulling out mugs and pouring the hot coffee she’d forgotten
she started before they attacked the beeping smoke detector. She
automatically poured cream in one and sugar in the other.

She crossed back to the table, mugs in
hand.

He settled into his usual chair, shoving hers
out with his foot. “Is that decaf?”

Lou didn’t answer—it was pretty much a
rhetorical question since they always had decaf after the kids were
in bed. She just handed him his cup and dropped into her chair. The
chairs in the living room were more comfortable, and they’d both
agreed that they hated just about everything about the cramped
little eat-in kitchen, but somehow they always ended up in here at
the end of the day, sipping coffee while the kids slept
upstairs.

“You really want to do the show?” she asked
softly.

He shrugged, hiding his mouth behind the
steaming mug. He inhaled deeply and made a rumbling noise of
contentment before taking his first sip.

A pang echoed in Lou’s heart. Soon, who knew
when, but soon, someone else would be up late drinking decaf with
Jack in the kitchen while the kids slept. Someone else would be
listening to him make that sound. And
that
someone would get
to kiss him just because she felt like it.

“I wouldn’t be going in expecting to find the
next love of my life,” he said. “But I know I’m not going to find
her if I don’t do
something
to break us out of this
routine…”

Meaning he would never find her in Lou. She’d
known that. She just hadn’t wanted to see it. “You should do it.”
The words jumped out of Lou’s mouth, almost without her permission.
“How many people get a chance like this?”