Marry Me (17 page)

“I bet they're getting big now.”

“The oldest starts college next year,” James said, with a disbelieving shake of his head.

“What brings you by?” Seth asked, sinking into his chair. “It's a little late for lunch.”

James hesitated long enough to make Seth tense again.

“There was a letter waiting for me when we got back,” James said.

Tension gripped the back of Seth's skull. James looked worried, and if he looked worried, Seth knew trouble was coming. “What kind of letter?”

“From a member — I can't say who. He'd hit the roof if he knew I'd come to warn you. He and several others are planning to go to the Session.”

“Over what?” Seth asked, wishing he didn't have to know.

“Your music director. They want her removed.”

“Meredith again.” Seth exploded from his seat. “How many times do we need to go over this issue? She hasn't done anything to warrant being fired. She's brought more life into this church than we've had in years.”

James nodded in his calm manner. “I know. I've visited, and seen and heard her. I think you've made a good choice.”

“I knew some people weren't happy with her, but I thought we could move past this attitude.”

“Long-held attitudes are hard to break, Seth, you know that.”

Sudden weariness flooded through his body like a wet sandbag, and he rubbed his eyes. “I don't know why I'm surprised. I've heard enough grumbling. I just hoped — well, never mind what I hoped. Thank you for the heads up.”

James tilted his head and regarded him with deep compassion. “Are you doing all right, Seth? You look troubled, and not just because of the controversy with Meredith Vining.”

Seth didn't have the strength to pretend. “I'm beginning to realize why everyone's so nervous about single pastors. I feel like I'm losing my mind.”

“You're waking up,” James pronounced.

The odd statement caught Seth's attention. “Waking up?”

“You've been in a kind of deep sleep since losing Beth. A safe place you had to be in while you mourned,” James said. “Coming out of that cocoon isn't easy. It can even be painful. The final letting go. Facing the fact that you want and need someone else.”

“Yeah, except the one I want is completely wrong for me,” Seth said before he could stop himself.

“Ah, so it is a woman.” James sat back and hooked his ankle across his leg.

“No… well… yes… in a way. She's a mess. Or she's making me a mess.”

“The best women often do. Betty still makes me crazy,” James said, with an indulgent chuckle wrapped in miles of love. “What's so messy about this woman?”

“I don't have time to list all the reasons.”

“Then it's serious?”

“I didn't say that,” Seth said. Everything in him seized up at the notion of anything serious with Julia. “It's nothing. Like you said. I'm waking up, and you're right, I don't like it. I'll be fine. Just need to get a handle on things. Maybe take the hints all the busybody matchmakers have been making and get out there again. Even if it kills me. I haven't been out on a date in… well, I can't even remember.”

“Take your time, Seth. You've been down a dark path.”

“Yeah, and who knew the end of it would be so jagged?”

His mentor left then, but Seth's strange funk stayed with him the rest of the day. He couldn't seem to shake the restlessness and the anger. Only he didn't know who he was angrier at… his congregants or God. He wasn't ready to face his solitary apartment, so he pulled into a spot along Main Street and took a walk to clear his head.

At this time of day, a cool breeze had kicked up, and he sucked in the air, filling his lungs as well as his mind. His footsteps eventually took him past Marry Me, and he stopped to look at the window display.

The bedroom scene with the wedding gown hanging from the screen had disappeared, replaced with a different one. The white gown remained, only now the dress had been pinned to the wall, with the long veil stretched out behind it. Next to the gown were four fuchsia bridesmaids' dresses, skirts billowing out so the material seemed to be in motion. It looked like the bridesmaids' dresses were chasing down the wedding gown. Only one person would think to have the wedding party depicted as an angry mob about the tackle the hapless bride.

Julia
really
didn't like weddings.

He chuckled, and before his brain could yell stop, he went inside. Sarah's assistant, Betsy, sat at the desk in the main room. She popped up like a Jack-in-the-box when she saw him.

“Reverend Graham?” she said, hurrying over to his side.

“Hi, Betsy.”

“What are you doing here?” Betsy asked, her expression equal parts welcoming and panic-stricken. “Did you need something?”

At the moment, Seth had no idea why he was there. There couldn't be anything he needed in this shop. Betsy still appeared petrified, though, so he had to come up with a plausible excuse. “I… uh… thought I should check in and see how things were going. You know, for Sarah. I promised I would keep an eye out.”

Betsy gave him a blinding smile. “Well, aren't you the
sweetest
thing. We are just doin' fine here. You can tell Sarah that Marry Me is in
excellent
hands… though we sure do miss her, of course.”

“I can see that.” He tilted his head toward the door. “I like your new display outside.”

A furrow appeared between Betsy's eyes. “Julia did it when she came back from meeting with Catherine Manning the other day. I think she's using the window as some sort of therapy.”

He'd had dealings with the esteemed mayor's wife, and he couldn't blame Julia for seeking an outlet.

They grinned at the shared secret.

“Is… umm… Julia here?” he asked, halfway hoping she'd left. If God had decided to stop messing with him, she'd be gone.

“Oh sure, she's in the office. You can go on back,” Betsy said, with a cheerful grin.

Nope, God wasn't ready to let him off the hook. “Right. I'll do that.”

Betsy opened her mouth, and for perhaps the first time, she stopped before speaking. Her eyes looked thoughtful as she gazed at him. “You doin' all right, Pastor? You look…” She trailed off.

Did he look that bad? Maybe he needed to take up running again.

“You look sad,” Betsy said. “You know, my cousin lives just over in Allenhurst. She's finished law school and is looking to set up a practice nearby. She's real active in her church, and I know for a fact she wants kids. She might be your type.”

Seth fought back the shudder at the thought of another fix-up. “Thanks, but no thanks. I'll go and look in on Julia.”

“All right, Pastor. You let me know if you change your mind. Her name's Theresa.”

Seth hurried by before Betsy could come up with any more relatives for him to date. He took another deep breath once he stepped into the quiet hallway. Quiet, except for the angry muttering coming from the office. He tiptoed in that direction and peeked inside.

Julia slammed a heavy bound book on the desk with enough force to leave a dent. “Purple daffodils. Where in blazes am I supposed to find purple daffodils?”

Seth leaned against the doorframe. “Have you tried the Yellow Pages?”

Julia screamed and whirled around, her hands up in a defensive gesture. When she saw who had invaded her office, she pressed a hand to her chest and blew out a gust of exasperated air. “Seth, don't do that! You're going to start the heart attack I already feel coming on.”

The corner of his mouth lifted. “Sorry. I should have knocked.”

“Yes, you should have,” she said, dropping into the cracked leather chair. “What are you doing here anyway?” Her eyes widened, and she looked on the edge of panic. “Did we have a meeting? Please tell me I didn't miss another one.”

“No, we didn't have an appointment,” Seth said. “I was wandering around town and thought I'd stop in to see how things were going.”

“Wandering?” she echoed, one cinnamon-colored brow arching in sardonic amusement. “Your church isn't keeping you busy enough?”

“Oh, I've got plenty to do. Just needed a break.”

“Yeah? Are the natives restless?”

“You wouldn't believe. I spent an hour discussing the theological implications of red soap dishes in the women's bathroom.”

“Seriously?” she asked, eyeing him with extreme doubt.

“Uh huh.” As if he could make up something so ridiculous.

“Wow, I think your job might actually be worse than mine,” Julia said, letting out a whistle.

“No, I love my job.”

“Doesn't look like it right now. In fact, you look terrible.”

Seth threw up his hands. “What? Am I pale and sickly all of the sudden?”

Julia's gaze traveled over his face and down to the tips of his toes. He tried not to react to the slow journey.

“No, more like melancholy.” She propped her chin in her hand. “Your eyes are hooded, and your clothes look like you took them out of the dryer and left them in a heap on the floor. Plus, your hair is sticking up a hundred different ways like you took an air blower to your head. So, what gives?”

“I'm fine.”

“Seth. You might as well tell me,” Julia said, wagging a finger like he was a naughty kid.

Perhaps there had been a reason he'd ended up here. “I do love being a minister, but I get frustrated, too.” He dragged a hand through his hair, demonstrating how all the tufts had come to look like they did. “Sometimes I wish I could unload on someone.”

“All right. I can handle that.” She gestured to the chair in front of the desk. “Have a seat, Rev. You've listened to me gripe enough. Guess it's my turn to return the favor.”

As said chair was piled with books, magazines, and several fabric pieces, Seth approached with obvious misgivings.

“Just throw everything on the floor. It's not like you could make the mess any worse,” she said, her voice as dry as the Sahara.

He shoved the junk aside and perched on the seat while he contemplated what to say, or whether he should say anything at all. He
shouldn't
be here. Shouldn't be inviting a new kind of intimacy between them.

Julia cut through his inner struggle when she reached across the desk and took his hand. “Seth? What's wrong?” she asked, all traces of amusement gone.

“Some members of the congregation are trying to get rid of Meredith Vining.”

“Because of her past. You told me that before.”

“They've made a more formal protest now,” Seth explained. “A group of them are bringing the matter up before the Session.”

“What's that?” she asked, her eyes clouded with confusion.

“They're kind of like the rulers of the church. I'm only an employee. The Session has ultimate say over what goes on.”

“So they could force her out? Or force you out if you won't?”

“Possibly. I'm not sure what to do.”

Anger replaced confusion. Her blue eyes sparked like a firecracker. “I'll tell you what you should do. Go into that meeting and knock some heads together.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Tell those old ladies they can take their pious judgment and stick it where the sun don't shine.”

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Seth couldn't help but chuckle. “I don't think I can tell the Elders to shove off.”

“Maybe you should.” She held up a hand to forestall an argument. “Okay, maybe not literally. You're capable of being more diplomatic than I am. I'm talking about holding up a mirror in front of their faces and reminding them they haven't always made the right choices either. What's that verse about the stone throwing?”

“
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
”

“Yeah, definitely that one,” she said, pointing in her enthusiasm. “I'm sure you know more.”

“A few,” he allowed, with a smile.

“Of course. So, go in there with guns blazing, and save the girl. You talked Meredith into taking the job, now you've got to fight for her. And please stop feeling sorry for yourself. You think you're the only one who's ever had trouble with people on the job? I've dealt with backstabbing coworkers. People who will do anything to get ahead. You can't let them win. You know you're right… You
do
know you're right?”

“Yes.”

“Then don't give up. You know, chances are there are even more people who love Meredith. I bet they'd support you, and her. You're not alone.”

No, he wasn't. He had been feeling sorry for himself, and it was time to stop wallowing. He rose to his feet. “Stand up.”

“Why?” she asked, eyeing him with extreme wariness.

“Just do it.”

The guarded expression didn't disappear, but she obeyed. Seth slipped his arms around her waist and hugged her. He didn't kiss her. Wanted to, but knew he couldn't trust himself right now. He did allow his hands to tangle in her hair. Took in her scent.

She pulled back. “What did you do that for?”

“To thank you.”

“For telling you to tick people off?”

“No, for kicking me in the butt.”

A wry grin appeared. “You are a strange man.”

He dropped a quick kiss on her forehead. “And I think you were the answer to a prayer tonight.”

Whoever said living in a small town made a person feel more relaxed was nuts. Julia felt so wound up she felt like the proverbial long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Now, on top of a killer headache, thanks to another sleepless night, she had to work with Miss Mary I'm-so-out-your-league Sunshine.

Amy Vining was another thing Julia could blame on her stepsister, so she called Sarah the next morning on the way to work to complain. The phone rang so many times she was about ready to call the police to rush over to the apartment.