Married Men (46 page)
Authors: Carl Weber
I pulled my car into the parking garage of Johns Hopkins Hospital and found a spot right away. I sighed, looking back at my sleeping son in his car seat. He was about to be stuck and probed again and didn’t even know it. We’d been driving for the past three and a half hours and he’d slept peacefully the whole way. I got out of the car and walked around to lift his car seat out as gently as I could. I fit it into the stroller without disturbing him at all. Whoever thought up the idea to have a stroller interchangeable with a car seat was a genius, because at that moment it really made my life easier. I was already feeling so guilty about bringing my son to this place where people would be hurting him in the name of helping him. At least I could let him sleep undisturbed for a few minutes longer. As I pushed the stroller toward the garage exit, my thoughts turned to Kyle.
Kyle had given us the stroller-car seat for a baby shower gift, even though he didn’t show up at the shower. Now that I think about it, Jonathan was almost five weeks old and he hadn’t stopped by the house to see him once. I kinda figured it had something to do with Rose, especially since both Kyle and Rose didn’t want to have anything to do with each other since we’d been married. Matter of fact, I’d wanted to make Kyle Jonathan’s godfather but Rose was completely against it. I don’t know what was going on between those two, but their dislike for each other sure had become more intense. When I got home, it was one more problem I was going to have to address.
Five minutes later I was standing nervously in front of the receptionist. She’d just called up to the social work department and I was expecting to see Cinnamon for the first time in six years at any moment. We’d been talking on the phone every day for weeks, but just the thought of seeing her again had me pacing around like a teenager about to go on his first date.
“Mr. Jackson?” I couldn’t see her, but I recognized Cinnamon’s voice right away, calling me from behind. I took a deep breath before I turned around.
“Ms. Lindsey.” I turned and there she was, looking as beautiful as ever. Neither one of us said a word. We just stared at each other until a young white woman standing next to Cinnamon snapped us out of our trance.
“Excuse me.” She stuck her hand out in greeting. “I don’t mean to interrupt this personal moment, but I’m Mary Peters. I’m the social worker for the blood clinic you and your son are going to today.” Both Cinnamon and I blushed. At that point I couldn’t help but be glad Rose had stayed home, because if Ms. Peters could sense the chemistry between us, Rose would’ve caught on right away.
“I’m sorry, Mary. This is Allen Jackson.” Cinnamon’s tone was all business now as she walked over to Jonathan’s stroller. “And this is his son, Jonathan.” I shook Mary Peters’s hand as I watched Cinnamon lift Jonathan from his car seat. “Ohhh, Allen, he is so cute.” She held him close and kissed him.
“Thank you,” I smiled.
“Where’s his mother?” Cinnamon looked around and I lowered my head. “No, she didn’t have the nerve to not show up.” Cinnamon sounded angry.
I glanced at Mary Peters. “I’ll talk to you about that later.” Ms. Peters decided that was her cue.
“Mr. Jackson, why don’t you follow me? We’ve got a lot of tests to run,” she told me. “You’ll see Ms. Lindsey later.”
“Aren’t you coming with me?” I looked at Cinnamon, a little disappointed.
“No, I’ve got things to do here, and the blood clinic is Mary’s baby. But don’t worry. You’re in good hands, and she’ll bring you to me when you’re done. I’ve got a pan of lasagna with your name on it at the house. Besides, you can’t go back to New York without meeting my son.”
Jonathan and I spent most of the morning with Ms. Peters. We both had blood drawn and I had to fill out a ton of paperwork on everything from my family’s medical history to what kinds of food I ate and what formula he took. I felt pretty stupid with Rose not there. Especially since they really wanted to have both parents’ information and blood. When I got home, I was gonna give her more than a headache.
I’d kicked off my shoes and had both my feet up on Cinnamon’s coffee table, sipping a glass of wine. The smooth sounds of Al Jarreau were relaxing my frayed nerves. It had been a long, long day. I was waiting for Cinnamon to come back into the room. She had taken her son Evan into the bedroom to put him to bed. I’d put Jonathan down about an hour ago and he was already asleep in the portable crib in her guest room. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t hear from him for another couple of hours when it was time for his bottle.
It took about twenty minutes before Cinnamon came back in the room, but when she came out, I saw that the wait had been well worth it. She looked more than stunning. She was wearing a red silk nightgown that draped down to her ankles and showed every curve of her body.
“I hope you weren’t too bored while I was gone.” She picked up the glass of wine she’d left behind and sat down next to me.
“No, not at all. Me and Al Jarreau go way back,” I told her, sipping on my wine.
“I didn’t have a chance to talk to Mary, but how did things go with the study?”
“As well as to be expected, I guess, considering they needed blood samples from my wife to complete half the tests.” It felt strange saying “my wife” to the woman who I once thought I would marry.
“That’s right. I forgot about that. What are they gonna do?”
“The doctor gave me a prescription for her to have blood drawn. I guess the lab will have the results sent down.”
“Yeah, but is she going to be willing to give blood?”
“Oh, she’s going to be willing,” I said angrily. “Or she’s gonna be looking for a new husband.” Cinnamon smiled, then patted my knee to calm me down.
“You’re a good father, Allen. You know that?”
“I try.”
“No, you do more than try. I wish my ex-husband was like you.” She reached her hand over and massaged one of my shoulders. “You’re so tense. You’re gonna have to learn how to relax.”
“If you knew what I go through at home and at work, you’d know there’s no such thing as relaxation. Just drama.”
“Sit down on the floor,” she ordered. I did as I was told without a second thought. I sat down in front of her, my back resting against her shins as she began to massage my shoulders. It felt so good, I closed my eyes for about twenty minutes before either of us spoke a word.
“Allen, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure. What’s up?”
“When we were going out, did you ever cheat on me?” She stopped massaging me and I opened my eyes wide as I turned to look at her. I was hoping something in her face would tell me she was joking.
“No!”
“Come on. You don’t have to lie to me. It was a long time ago.”
“You’re right, I don’t have to lie. I did not cheat on you. What would make you think that?”
“What makes you any different than any other man? I figured you were like my husband and had some woman on the side.” I turned my head and shoulders so that I could see her better.
“You don’t understand how much I was in love with you, do you?”
“I guess not. Especially since you never came after me. Do you know how long I waited down here for you to come for me? A year, Allen. I was down here a year before I even looked at another man. Waiting for you.” She was angry. I could hear it in her tone though she hadn’t even raised her voice.
“Cinnamon, I wanted to come after you. I just ...” She cut me off.
“You just what? You were just too afraid to leave your mother? That’s why I left, Allen. I was hoping our love would be strong enough to make you cut those apron strings. But it wasn’t.
Your mother
was the other woman in our relationship.”
Your mother
was the other woman in our relationship.”
“You’re right,” was all I could say, and I think that’s all she wanted to hear. She began to massage my shoulders again.
“One more question.”
I was afraid to agree but I did. “Okay.”
“If you had gotten my letter before your wedding, would you have called me?”
I’d thought about that question a lot over the past few weeks. I couldn’t be sure if I would have, but I had no doubt that my feelings for this woman were still strong. “I think so, Cinnamon.”
She didn’t say a word but I could feel her smile behind me as her massage became tender, almost romantic.
“You’re so tight,” she whispered, gently kneading my muscles.
“I know. You were right before. I really do need to learn how to relax.”
“I used to be good at making you relax.” She laughed. Her voice was even softer now and sounded even sexier as I felt her face gently rub up against my hair. When she was close enough, she blew in my ear, sending goose bumps up my arms. I moaned when she did it again, her hands running down my chest. In one smooth motion she was opening the buttons on my shirt.
I turned my head toward her and her soft lips met mine. Memories of our once-tender lovemaking flashed through my mind. My desire for her was even more intense now. I slid my tongue into her mouth and she sucked on it gently. When we broke the kiss, she lay on her back and I slid on top of her. My stiff manhood rubbed against her crotch as she gently kissed my earlobe.
“I never stopped loving you, Allen,” she whispered.
“And I never stopped loving you,” I whispered back, kissing her again. She slowly lifted her nightgown above her hips and I felt the smooth skin of her buttocks and thighs with my hand. Without missing a beat, she unhooked my pants and slid her hands into my boxers, sliding my pants and underwear below my knees.
I could hear Jonathan crying in the background and I tried to ignore him as Cinnamon took hold of my manhood, making me moan.
“I want you, Allen.” She positioned me to enter her and I could feel the warmth and heat she was offering. But just as I was about to push myself into her, I heard Jonathan cry once more. This time it jolted me back to reality.
“I want you too, Cinnamon, but I can’t do this.” I pushed myself off of her and stood up to pull up my pants.
“What’s wrong? I thought you said you want me too. You loved me.” She pulled her nightgown down as if she was embarrassed to be exposed.
“I do love you, and I want you so bad I can taste it. But you hear that little boy in there? I’m married to his mother, and although it’s dwindling, I do have love for her. I can’t do this to my son. Not until I’m sure it’s over with his mother. I love you with all my heart, but I can’t do this until I’m sure. I hope you understand.”
“Yeah, I understand, Allen. That Rose is a lucky woman to have a husband like you. I hope she realizes that.”
“Somehow I doubt it, Cinnamon. Somehow I doubt it.” I turned around and walked back to her guest room where Jonathan was crying. Once I closed the door, I didn’t open it until morning when it was time to leave.
38
Wil
My heart was beating fast and I was nervous as hell as the elevator doors opened. I peered out onto the busy second-floor corridor and couldn’t believe that life had come to this. I took a deep breath, then stepped off the elevator. Allen, Jay, and Greg Thomas were following behind me. We were in the family court building on Parsons Boulevard and in about ten minutes I would be standing in front of a judge to temporarily settle the child support and custody battle I was having with Diane. To say I was antsy and nervous was an understatement. I was scared to death. I’d wanted to have all my boys there, especially Kyle, but he insisted that it’d be a bad move for him to be there since Diane hated him almost more than she hated me.
“Yo dawg, there she is.” Jay nonchalantly motioned to his left, and there was Diane, sitting on a bench about twenty feet away. I was surprised when I didn’t see Lisa sitting next to her but she was probably expecting Kyle to be there and wanted to avoid seeing him. Instead of Lisa, Diane was surrounded by her three ghettofied girlfriends, Sonya, Michelle, and Desiree. They must’ve noticed us right away because immediately they began whispering like there was some type of conspiracy going on.
“You guys wait here. I’m gonna go talk to her.” I took a step forward, but before I could take another, Greg grabbed my arm.
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