Marking Time (39 page)

“But I won’t be for long.”

Her eyes widened, and her mouth fell open in shock. “Oh! I can’t
believe
you said that!” She pelted him with her fists.

He laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes.

Two nights after they got home from Boston, Aidan made dinner for Clare. She came downstairs at his house to find candles on the table. “What’s the occasion?”

“Come have a seat. It’ll be ready soon.”

“Champagne, too? What are we celebrating?”

“Sit down, and I’ll tell you.”

She did as he asked and was startled when he knelt in front of her. He rested his head against her chest for a moment before he looked up at her with his heart in his eyes. “I love you.”

She combed her fingers through his hair. “I love you, too.”

“Before I met you, I had nothing. No love, no laughter, no joy, no hope. Nothing. Now I have you, and I have everything. I love you, I love your girls, and I want us to have a life together. I’ll move to Rhode Island so we can be with Maggie, and we can come up here on weekends. I want to be wherever you are. Will you marry me, Clare?” He held up a large, sparkling diamond ring.

Blinking back tears, Clare looked down at him. “I want to. I want so much to marry you, Aidan.”

“Why do I hear a ‘but’ in there?”

“Because there’s something else I want, too. Something I’m not sure you want.”

“What?”

“I want to have another child.”

He shook his head as if he hadn’t heard her right. “You’ll think I’m taking aim at your age—”

She held up a hand to stop him. “I don’t want to give birth, but I
do
want to be a mother again.”

“You
are
a mother.”

Clare sighed as she stared into the candlelight. “You did all this, and I’m ruining it.”

Aidan got up to sit next to her and took her hand. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want to adopt a child who’s maybe three or four and has no one. People only want babies, so there’re lots of kids who need good homes. I want to find a child who needs me and give him—or her—a good home and a big loving family.”

“I know what you’re doing.” His face tightened with distress. “You think I’d be a good father, and you’re trying to replace the son I lost.”

“No, Aidan. You
would
be a wonderful father, but that’s not what this is about.”

He gave her a skeptical look.

“One of the things I needed to do when I came up here was to figure out what I’m going to do with this second chance I’ve been given. When I look back on my life before everything happened, the only thing other than being a wife that gave me any real fulfillment was being a mother. Jack gave me all that money, so I have the freedom to do whatever I want. This is what I want. If I’d never met you, I’d still want this for me. Please believe me.”

He studied the floor, and Clare’s heart skipped a beat as a jolt of fear went through her.

When he finally looked up at her, his eyes were flat and lifeless. “I can’t,” he whispered. “I just can’t.”

“Oh, Aidan. You
can
. You’re so great with the girls, and they already love you. I know they do. I want you so much. I want that ring and everything it stands for. We can do this together. Please.”

“I can’t give you what you want, and I won’t ask you to live without it.” He got up to turn off the stove.

“Aidan,” Clare cried as she followed him. “If it’s a choice, I can live without another child. I can. I don’t want to live without you, though.”

He shook his head. “I’d never ask you to make such a sacrifice. Someday, you’d resent me for it. You’re an amazing mother, and some little person out there is about to get very, very lucky.”

She put her arms around him. “Not without you.”

“I’m sorry.” He pulled away from her and left the room.

“Aidan!” When he didn’t come back, she dropped into a chair and wept.

A relaxed position of attention.

K
ate drove out to Buddy and Taylor’s estate in Rutherford County the day after the benefit concert. Playing for six thousand people had put Kate on a high she’d yet to come down from. She relived the exciting night as she followed Taylor’s directions to a long road that ended at the driveway to their large two-story brick colonial. Behind it, Kate could see a lake and boathouse.

She parked next to a minivan and a Cadillac SUV. Before she could open her car door, two little girls appeared. She opened the window. “Hello, ladies.”

“Hi.” The older of the two had light brown hair and Buddy’s golden eyes. “I’m Ashley Nicole Longstreet.”

“Hello, Ashley Nicole Longstreet. I’m Katherine Anna Harrington, but my friends call me Kate. Is this your sister?”

Ashley nodded. “She’s Chloe Ann Longstreet.”

“Hi, Chloe.”

Chloe buried her face in her big sister’s shirt.

Kate chuckled. “Do you guys mind if I get out of the car?”

“Ashley, Chloe, let Kate come in!” Taylor called from the front door.

Kate had the girls by the hand when she met Taylor at the door. She held a dark-haired baby on her hip and wore a fashionable black sweat suit over a hot pink T-shirt. Her hair was in a ponytail, and she hardly resembled the glamorous star she’d been the night before at the benefit.

“That’s our sister, Georgia Sue Longstreet,” Ashley said. “She’s fourteen months old.”

“I have twin cousins who are just a little bit older than Georgia,” Kate said.

“Twins?” Ashley asked with big eyes as they followed Taylor into the house.

“Yep. And I have twin baby brothers, too.”

“Two sets of twins?” Taylor asked.

“My dad and his sister, a year apart almost to the day.” Kate was pleasantly surprised to find herself in a home where children came first. Toys and dolls were strewn about, the furniture was comfortable, and pictures of the family decorated every surface.

“Sorry for the mess,” Taylor said. “I don’t clean up for guests anymore. It’s pointless.”

Kate smiled. “It feels like home to me. My dad has six kids, so his house is just like yours.” She ached when she thought of her dad and wondered if she would ever see him or his house again.

“Mom!”

Taylor turned when a boy ran into the room. He was the image of Buddy minus the goatee.

“Harry, we have company. Can you say hi to Kate?”

“Hi,” he said impatiently, turning back to his mother. “Have you seen my skateboard?”

“Not since I almost fell over it yesterday. Did you look in the garage?”

“No,” he said and was gone in a flash.

“That’s my Harrison,” Taylor said with a smile. “He’s eight, Ashley’s six, Chloe’s four, and then there’s this person.” She tickled the baby and was rewarded with a giggle.

“They’re beautiful.”

“They’re a handful.” Taylor put the baby down to play on the floor. “So have you recovered from last night?”

“It was amazing. I’m still pumped.”

“You did a terrific job. You do know it was a tryout, don’t you?” Taylor asked with amusement.

“Tryout?”

“Buddy wanted to be sure you wouldn’t freak out on the tour.”

Kate laughed. “I was freaking on the inside.”

“Well, it didn’t show. They loved you.”

Buddy strolled into the room.

It was the first time Kate had seen him without the Stetson, and she had to work at keeping her mouth from falling open. He was absolutely gorgeous.

“They ate you up, darlin’. You should feel damned good about what you did.”

“Don’t swear in front of the baby, Buddy,” Taylor said.

“Damn is not a swear.”

His wife scowled at him.

“You did a real good job, Kate,” Buddy continued. “I was very pleased.”

“Thanks. It was fun, and you guys were incredible. I’d never seen you live before. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sound of that applause.”

“It gets addictive,” Taylor admitted.

“I can see how it would.”

“You’ll find out for yourself, but don’t let it go to your head,” Buddy said. “I’m starving, Tay. Can we eat?”

“It’s ready. Call the kids.”

Kate was treated to the kind of boisterous meal that made her miss her own family. With no sign of any hired help, Taylor served the meal of pulled pork, salad, hush puppies, and corn bread herself.

“I’ll clean up.” Buddy wiped Chloe’s chin and pushed Ashley’s milk in from the edge of the table.

When Buddy caught her eye, Kate realized she was staring.

“What?” he asked.

“I just never pictured you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Wiping chins and doing dishes.”

He laughed. “This is what I do when I’m not working. We only have help on the road. I work so I can do this the rest of the time.”

“It’s cool.”

“It’s
life
. It’s what matters. The rest is just crap.”

“Crap,” Georgia said.

“Buddy!” Taylor said.

Flashing her the grin that made his female fans drool, he said, “Baby, why don’t you take Kate for a walk? Show her the lake.”

“Watch your mouth in front of the kids, Buddy. I mean it.”

Propping Georgia on his hip, he planted a kiss on his wife and patted her ass. “Scram. Daddy’s in charge.”

Taylor took Kate by the hand. “Get me out of this zoo.”

They pulled on coats to walk out to the lake. The sun was warm, but the breeze off the water put a chill in the air. Taylor pointed out the stables and Buddy’s mother’s house off in the distance. She referred to the fence that lined the lake as her security blanket.

“I’d be a wreck worrying about one of the kids drowning without that fence.”

“I grew up on the water in Newport. My dad has a sailboat.”

“Ours is a powerboat. Buddy loves to water ski.”

“This is a great place.”

“It’s our haven. No one bothers us out here. The people around here protect our privacy. They’d never think of giving anyone directions to our place.”

Taylor hooked her arm through Kate’s as they walked. “So Buddy told me he put it all out there for you. You know what to expect over the next couple of months?”

“I think I’m as prepared as anyone can be.”

“You can come here if you ever need to hide out. We’ve got tons of room. It’s loud and busy, but you’re welcome any time.”

“You and Buddy have been so good to me. I’ll never be able to thank you for everything.”

“Well, honey, I’ve got to tell you, when Reid first told Buddy about you, we were skeptical. I mean people are always telling us about this one or that one. But once we saw you perform, we were your biggest fans.”

The world had tilted on its axis. “What?” Kate whispered. “What did you say?”

Taylor stopped walking. “Honey, why do you look like you’ve just seen a ghost?”

“What did you say about Reid?”

“What? That he told Buddy about you? That’s how we found you.”

“No,” Kate whimpered. “
No.
” Her stomach surged with nausea.

Taylor stared at her, confused. “I don’t understand.”

Kate clutched her stomach. “How does Buddy know Reid?” she managed to ask.

“Buddy’s mother, Miss Martha, was Reid’s housekeeper. They grew up together.”

“Oh, no!
Oh my God.
No.”

“Sweetheart, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, Taylor. I have to go.” Kate fought tears as she ran for the house. She found her purse in the living room and was headed for the front door when Buddy stopped her.

“What’s wrong, darlin’? Are you crying?”

“Reid told you about me. That’s how you found me. Is that true?”

“
Shit
.” Buddy groaned.

“
She didn’t know that?
” Taylor cried as she came up behind Buddy. “Why didn’t you tell me, Buddy?”

Certain she was going to be sick, Kate had to get out of there. “I’ve got to go. Thank you,” she said softly. “You were real nice to me.” Blinded by tears, she bolted out the door.

“Kate!” Buddy called. He stopped her before she could open her car door. “Listen to me!”

“There’s nothing you can say. Let me go.”

“
Listen!
Do you remember when I told you that you can trust everything I tell you?”

Wiping at her face, she nodded.

“Then
hear
this. Reid told me about you. I won’t deny that. But
you
sold me.
You
. Do you honestly think you’d be coming on tour with us or having dinner at my house if I didn’t think you have what it takes to play in the big leagues? Do you?”

She shrugged.

“I love Reid like a brother, but you’re where you are right now because of
you
. Don’t blow it, Kate.”

“May I go now?”

He stepped back so she could open her car door.

She managed to keep from getting sick until she was a mile from Buddy and Taylor’s house. After pulling the car off to the side of the road, she vomited and then sobbed until there was nothing left. When she was finally able to function again, she drove to Reid’s house and ran upstairs, her heart thudding.

He was out riding Thunder. She was supposed to call him when she was on her way home, but she had nothing to say to him. Apparently Buddy did, though, because she heard Reid come pounding up the stairs a few minutes later.

Kate was throwing clothes into a bag when he stormed into the bedroom.

“Kate, honey…”

The sound of his voice, which had become so familiar and so dear to her, sent a shaft of pain coursing through her as she pulled open drawers and tore clothes off hangers.

“Baby, come on,” he said, taking her arm.

“Don’t touch me,” she seethed. “Get your hands off me.”

As if she’d hit him, he took a step back. “I love you, Kate. Talk to me. Please.”

“You want to talk? Fine. Let’s talk. Was I speaking English when I told you not to pull strings for me? Was I speaking Spanish or French or some other language you didn’t understand?”

“No.”

“Then all I can think is you didn’t respect me enough to do as I asked.”

“I respect you more than anyone in the world.”

Kate laughed harshly. “You have a strange way of showing it.”