Marked. Part I: The missing Link (5 page)

Chapter 5

Friday, January 3

11:36am

I sleepily wave to my mom from the front door as she heads to work. She flips out when she finds yet another bruise on my face, but I tell her the bar was packed and some guy accidentally elbowed me. Luckily, she believes me and doesn't press it any further.

The past two nights I slept horribly. Nightmares consumed my dreams, making me toss and turn all night. Some dreams consisted of me not escaping and what happens to me, others Jay doesn't make it out alive, or I choke to death on my vomit. All feel real when I wake up and it takes me hours to go back to sleep, only to have another one and start the whole process over again.

Jay's truck is in his driveway and I chew on my lip, contemplating if I should go over to ask him about the plan I came up with during my many wakeful moments last night.

I decide to go for it; the worst he can say is no. I slip into my gray TOMS and go to his house. I hesitate before knocking. I'm not sure if this is a good idea. He was nice to me for a brief moment, but that doesn't mean he's my friend or even an acquaintance.

I suck it up and knock. I need sleep and he's the only person I know who might be able to help ease my mind.

No answer.

I hear loud music from the garage and figure he didn't hear so I knock louder, four times. The music turns down so I knock again to make sure he knows someone's here.

I hear the thumping of his feet, and his door finally opens. His brows knit together and he doesn't look pleased to see me, the exact opposite actually. He looks a little pissed.

“
What?” Jay bites out in the gruff voice that I hate.

I stand there not speaking like a fool, feeling embarrassed for coming over. I should have known better. The feelings I had Wednesday morning were aftershocks of him rescuing me.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you,” the words stumble out. I don't understand how I have moments with him where I’m undeniably drawn to him and others where he makes me want to cower away.

He swipes the top of his head, sighing, and stares up into the sky. “What do you want?” He tones down the roughness to his voice, but it doesn't quite carry the warmth I prefer.

“I...uh...never mind.” I rock back on my heels ready to leave. This was stupid.

“
Seriously, Lily, why are you here?” The sound of my name coming from his lips makes my heart skip a beat. I'm an idiot.

“
I haven't been sleeping, and before you tell me I'm being a big baby, I already know that, but it's not stopping the nightmares from coming. So...I thought maybe you could teach me how to defend myself. Maybe that will help me feel more confident that if it happens again I can fight back. If I know that, then maybe the nightmares will stop and I can finally get some sleep. I like sleep. A lot. And I wouldn't mind being on better terms with it. I've had more caffeine than should be legal and I have no idea what to do to make them go away-”

Jay holds his hand up to cut me off, “Stop, you're rambling. You're wasting your breath. I won't help you. You'd be better off taking a martial arts class or something.”

“That was my first idea, but I have no money. I can't afford classes,” I start to tear up and I want to slap myself for getting emotional about this. I blame my lack of sleep.

“
Get some mace and don't leave your house alone.” He looks at me like he just solved my problem and he's done with this conversation.

“
I guess I could start carrying my gun. That might help,” I say it out loud, but I'm really thinking it to myself. I have a really bad habit of talking my thoughts out loud.

“
You have a gun?”

“
Uh huh,” I mumble, deep in thought as I leave to head home.

I'm not really keen on the idea of carrying around a gun, but it might bring me some peace of mind.

Jay takes hold of my hand and tugs me back to him, “What are you doing with a gun?”

“
Present from my dad.”

“
Shit. Normal dads do that too?” He half-grins, swiping the top of his head again.

“
Not sure, but mine did.”

“
Why?”

“
When my parents divorced it made him nervous to think of us alone without him, so he got me a gun.”

“
Your mom and brother too?”

“
No, just me.”

“
Why?”

I can tell his curiosity is peaked.

“My mom is anti-guns and my brother was only two when they divorced.”

“
So you learned when you were eleven?”

“
Yeah?”
How does he know how old I am?

“
When I checked your I.D. At the bar.”

Crap, I said that out loud. Wait...

“I never showed you my I.D.”

“
Facebook,” he reluctantly reveals.

“
You looked me up on Facebook?”

“
Yeah,” he answers uncomfortably.

“
You're
on Facebook?”

“
No.”

“
But you looked me up?”

“
I think we've already established that.”

“
Why?”

“
Do you know how to use it?”

“
The gun?”

He nods his head.

“Yeah, he made me take lessons.”

Why does he look irritated about that?

“Taking some lessons doesn't mean it's safe for you to be carrying a gun around with you. You'll probably get spooked and end up killing someone, or worse, yourself.”

Gawd,
he sounds just like my mom.

“
So teach me to defend myself.”

“
No.”

“
Why, not?”

“
I'm not looking to make a new friend, Lily.” Wow, I love the way he says my name. “I helped you out, but that doesn't mean I want you around.”

Ouch. “Wow, I'd call you an ass, but you did save me the other night so that feels wrong,” I snap, “I'm not looking to be friends with you either, I just want to learn to defend myself in case I get attacked again.”

“Quit talking like that's an option,” he roars back at me and my breath catches in my throat. The ferocity of his stance frightens me and I take a step back.

“
I'm sorry. I won't bother you anymore,” I speak softly, unable to look at him. I can't believe this is the same man who held me in my sleep and took care of me when I was scared. Maybe I do have a sick, twisted need to be with men who treat me like crap.

I walk home as fast as I can. What I really want to do is run, but that would make my hurt feelings that much more obvious.

I close my front door and slide down it, tucking my legs in so I can rest my forehead on top of them.

Will did like to control me, and I let him. And now I'm letting myself be fascinated by a very terrifying man. I clearly have issues.

A loud
thump!
on the door vibrates my back. I don't move to open it.

Another
thump!
, louder this time and it vibrates my whole body. There's only one person I know who can knock on a door in such a threatening way. Anger starts to seep in; I'm done letting him scare me.

I hop up and throw open the door, “What?!” I say loudly, almost at a shout.

“I'll help you.” Both his hands are clasped together and resting on top of his head. I can see a weird marking on the underarm of his skin. I stop myself from further examining it. I'm done with this guy.

“
No thanks.”

“
Why not?”

“
I'm scared of you, and I think being around you isn't healthy for me.”

“
Good. You
should
be scared and I'm
not
healthy for you to be around, but you're right, every girl needs to know how to defend herself. Although, it wouldn't have done much good against four guys. You need to remember to not travel alone or go into alleys,
ever.
I can't believe I even have to explain that last one.” His arms are crossed now and he's at the base of my door towering over me: carbon steel in the form of a man.

“
I think that's the longest I've ever heard you talk.”

“
It's not really my thing.”

“
Talking?”

“
Yeah.”

“
I agree. You kinda suck at it.”

He laughs, “You gonna let me train you?”

“Train?”

“
Yeah.”

“
I only need a few self defense moves.”

“
I go all in, or nothing.”

What is wrong with me that I'm turned on right now?

“
I like a man who goes all in.” Wow, I can't believe I just said that.

He smirks, enjoying the game we are playing.

“But no,” I say, and his smirk instantly turns into a frown, which he quickly recovers into a cold-hard stare, but I'm getting used to it so it doesn't phase me.

“
You came to me,” he reminds me.

“
And you freaked me out,
again
. Frankly, it's getting old. You have worse mood swings than a PMSing fifteen year old.”

“
I actually hold back on you.”

My turn to laugh, “Why?”

Jay's eyes soften and he shyly smiles, “That's what I keep asking myself.”

Silence.

Heart beating.

Faster.

Shit.

“
You misunderstood me when you left. I wasn't angry because you asked for my help. It pissed me off when you sounded like getting attacked again was inevitable. Don't say shit like that to me.”

“
Why?”

“
Because then I'm going to spend all my time worrying about your safety.”

Ignore your thumping heart, “Why do you care?”

“When I figure that out I'll let you know.” He swipes his head a few times before continuing, “We train every Friday at three.”

“
What do I wear?”

He eyes me suggestively, “I can't give that a straight answer.”

“Three?” I double check, trying to keep the giddiness out of my voice.

“
Three,” he confirms.

That was the weirdest fifteen minutes of my life.

Jay smirks, “Mine too.”

Dammit, I said that out loud.

“You really need to work on that.”

Dammit, I did it again.

Jay chuckles and walks off.

“
Wait!” I call after him, “Today's Friday.”

“
We clear on the time?” He yells back, not looking at me.

“
Three!” I yell back a little too eagerly.

He gives me the thumbs up sign, back still facing me as he heads home.

“Should I be scared?!” At this point I'm glad he can't see the ridiculous grin on my face.

He slightly turns his head so his chin rests on his left shoulder. A purely sinister smirk shapes his upper lip and I swear his eyes turn black.

“Okay, you win. I almost pissed my pants from that look.”

A deep laugh carries through the neighborhood and makes contact with my chest, knocking me back with apprehension and eagerness: a dangerous combination, but fitting considering the source.

3:00pm

I knock on Jay's door and a wave of thrill erupts in the base of my stomach as I wait for him to answer.

Jay opens the door and the sight of him has the thrill turn into a thousand tiny butterflies dancing through my veins so my whole body feels a rush.

He's wearing gray sweats and a plain white shirt. It makes me want to laugh because I'm in the same outfit, except my pants are from an old velour pantsuit set and my white shirt is a fitted v-neck.

Jay grazes my body and I blush when he stops at my breasts before meeting my eyes, “You ready?” He asks, opening the door for me to come in.

I step inside and shrug, “I guess. I'm a little worried about what you have planned.”

A twinkle shines in his eyes and he gives me a playful smirk, “Nothing you can't handle.”

“That's what has me worried.” I plant my index finger on his pecs and try not to notice how much they resemble a boulder, “You don't know me well enough to know what I can handle.”