Man to Man [Wolf Creek Pack 3] (Siren Publishing Classic ManLove) (6 page)

“You seem to have given this some thought,” Donovan finally said.

Jim nodded his head as he watched Donovan’s thumb rub over the small bottle of lube and remembered what it felt like to have that very same thumb rub over the head of his cock. “I’m not sure I’ve really been thinking about anything else,” he said in a voice that seemed to come from a long way off.

Jim felt like his nerves were being stretched to the breaking point as he watched Donovan start to pace back and forth. Every few steps he would stop and look over at Jim, his eyebrows drawn together as if he were in deep thought. And Jim had no idea what he was thinking. No emotion whatsoever showed on Donovan’s face.

Finally, Donovan stopped pacing to stand in front of Jim. “Do I get a say in this?”

Jim’s mouth dropped open in shock and surprise siphoned the blood from his face. “Yes, of course you do.” Jim dropped his eyes down to the floor and pushed his hands into his jean pockets. Obviously, he was the biggest fool in the world. “I just wanted you to know how I felt.”

“Duly noted.”

Jim lifted his eyes to stare at Donovan for a moment. Disconcerted at the indifferent look in his eyes, Jim crossed his arms and pointedly looked away from Donovan’s piercing gaze. “I’ll just let you get back to what you were doing then.”

He started to step past Donovan to leave when a strong grip on his arm stopped him. Jim looked over to see Donovan’s hand on his arm, stopping him from leaving. His eyes flickered up briefly as he wondered what other humiliation he was about to endure.

Jim hesitated to say anything, torn by conflicting emotions. He wanted to turn into Donovan’s arms and kiss him again. He wanted to explore all of the sexual fantasies swirling around in his head.

He wanted to run for the door and escape the closed expression on Donovan’s face, to take back the last few hours and pretend that they never happened. He wanted to be blissfully ignorant of the fact that he couldn’t live in the closet anymore because his mate was a man.

He was suddenly anxious to escape from Donovan’s disturbing presence, from the feelings of longing he created. To his dismay, his voice broke slightly when he spoke. “Was there something else you wanted, Donovan?”

“I’m not—I’m not very good at this, Jim.”

Jim’s mind was congested with doubts and fears. He looked away hastily then moved restlessly. Perhaps it was simply his own uneasiness, but Jim suddenly wondered if Donovan was being totally truthful with him.

“Good at what?” He said the words tentatively as if testing the idea. He took a step back in confusion when Donovan let out a bitter little laugh.

“Besides the whole
I’m waiting for my mate
thing, there’s a reason I don’t have a girlfriend right now, Jim,” Donovan said as he released Jim’s arm only to shove his hand through his light-brown hair. His voice was deceptively calm as he continued. “I don’t do relationships, Jim. It’s too messy. And I basically suck at them.”

When Jim spoke, his voice was tender, almost a murmur. “And you think I’m any better? I’ve been avoiding getting involved with a woman all of my adult life. And that has nothing to do with waiting for my mate.”

“The whole living in the closet thing?” Donovan asked as he sat down on the side of the bed and looked up at Jim.

Jim nodded, feeling his face heat up. “I watched what Joe went through when he came out, how people changed toward him, and I never wanted to go through that. So, I chose not to.”

Donovan burst out laughing. “That came around to bite you in the ass, didn’t it?”

Jim didn’t know how to reply to Donovan’s words without hurting his feelings or sounding like a complete goober, so he didn’t say anything. He just nodded his head in agreement. Keeping his mouth shut seemed to work so much better for him anyway.

“If you’ve decided to accept me,” Donovan said as he looked down at the bottle of lube in his hand, “how do you plan on avoiding that? I’m pretty sure people are going to figure it out, Jim, because I refuse to live in the closet with you.”

“How about my place then? Will you live there with me?” Jim asked cautiously. He could feel Donovan’s eyes on him, watching him, measuring him.

“So, I’m just supposed to give up my place and my position in my pack to move here and live with you?” Donovan asked. “Why don’t you move to my pack?”

Jim closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he tried to rein in his growing anger. He felt like Donovan wasn’t giving in an inch. Jim opened his eyes and looked at Donovan, hoping he had beat down his anger enough to not sound like he was attacking Donovan. “Okay, then we’ll live with your pack.”

“You’re serious.” Donovan sounded astonished.

Jim couldn’t figure out why.

“Why are you so surprised?” Jim asked in confusion.

Donovan’s hands slammed into the mattress beside him. “Jim, you’re talking about giving up your life here, your friends, your family, even your job just to move to my pack and live with me. Why would you do that?”

“Because you’re my mate?” Jim asked, bewildered. Mates were meant to be together. Weren’t they? Did Donovan plan on them being mates and living in separate packs? Did he even plan on them being mates?

“Jim, I’m a man.”

Jim tilted his head to one side as he gazed at Donovan, a slight smirk on his face. “That was kind of hard to miss.”

“If we live together, if we claim each other, you’re going to have to admit that you’re gay. I refuse to pretend we’re just roommates or friends. I’ll want to live with you in every way, to be able to touch you whenever I want to. I won’t make sure that no one is around before I kiss you.”

“And?” Jim asked.

“Jim!” Donovan exclaimed. “You’ve been living in the closet your entire life. Are you truly willing to come out just because we’ve met?”

“Donovan, who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?” Jim asked. His ironic tone concealed the overwhelming emotions he felt.

Jim watched Donovan start to say something, then close his mouth. He opened it again, but no sound came out. Finally, Donovan stared at Jim, looking baffled. “I don’t know.”

Just as puzzled, and a little more than nervous, Jim stepped forward to stand between Donovan’s spread legs, his hands settling on Donovan’s shoulders as he looked down at him.

“What don’t you know, Donovan,” Jim whispered.

“What if you change your mind, Jim? What if you decide I’m not worth it?” Donovan said, sounding very nervous. “You already see me being a man clumped together with me as a person. How do I know you won’t decide at some point to cut your losses and run?”

“I think the same could be said about you. You could decide being gay isn’t something you want either. I, at least, have always known that I was gay, even if I never did anything about it. Until you met me, I imagine the thought never crossed your mind.”

Jim’s eyebrow nearly shot past his forehead when Donovan’s face turned red and the man looked away. “Donovan?”

“It’s true that I’ve never been with a man, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it. I don’t know if that makes me gay or what,” Donovan mumbled.

“Okay, let’s take sex out of the equation. If we—” Jim started.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Donovan exclaimed. His hands came up to clutch at Jim’s waist as if he were afraid to let Jim go. “If you didn’t want us to have sex, why did you give me the bottle of lube?”

“No, no! I mean let’s take the whole gay-not-gay thing out of it,” Jim said quickly. He chuckled. “I think it’s safe to say we’re both attracted to each other and neither of us have an ounce of experience with other men.”

“Okay…” Donovan’s eyes narrowed. “And that means what? That neither of us knows what in the hell we’re doing? I think we already know that.”

Jim laughed. “Okay, yeah, there is that. It also means we’re on equal footing here. I’ve never done this before, and neither have you. And I’m not talking about just the sex thing either. Neither one of us has ever had a serious relationship, a mate, or anyone we considered committing to.”

“Where are you going with all of this, Jim?”

“Are you willing to take a chance on me? Knowing that I’m afraid to come out of the closet, but I’m willing to try? Knowing that I’ve never been with a man? Knowing that I’d really prefer that you moved here and lived with me? That I don’t want to leave Wolf Creek? Are you willing to put that all aside and be my mate?” Jim asked as fear and dread knotted inside of him. Donovan’s answer had the power to make or break him.

“Yes,” Donovan answered without hesitation.

“Then hand me the damn lube!”

Donovan’s hand shook as he handed Jim the bottle of lube. He couldn’t believe he was actually doing this. He was actually going to commit to Jim, another man. His mate. He chewed on his lower lip and stole a look at Jim.

His heart started beating faster when he saw the look of uncertainty on Jim’s face. Not because it made him nervous, but because it told him that Jim was as scared as he was. Somehow, it made Donovan feel more confident.

“Why don’t we start off with something small?” he asked as he gave Jim a small smile.

“Like what?”

“You could kiss me,” Donovan replied. His whole being seemed to be filled with waiting as he watched for Jim’s reaction. His heart began to beat faster as a slow sensuous grin crossed Jim’s lips.

“I could do that.” Jim chuckled. “I seem to remember that you’re a great kisser.”

Donovan felt like he had died and gone to heaven the moment Jim’s lips pressed against his. He tasted just as good as Donovan remembered, maybe even better now that he knew Jim was agreeing to be his mate.

Shivers of desire raced through Donovan at the touch of Jim’s tongue against his. His hands slipped up Jim’s waist to his chest, pulling him closer until their bodies touched. Donovan’s body tingled at the contact. He wanted more.

He needed more.

“Shirt, Jim,” Donovan whispered against Jim’s lips as his fingers went to the buttons of Jim’s shirt. His fingers shook as he tried to unbutton each button without ripping them off when that was all he really wanted to do. He was going to have to convince Jim to invest in simpler shirts, ones he could rip off when the mood struck him, like now.

“Fuck the shirt,” Jim growled as he grabbed the edges of his shirt and pulled, buttons flying everywhere. “You can buy me another one.”

Yes!
Donovan’s lips twisted into a smirk as his eyes traveled down the finer-than-fuck muscled chest and tight abdomen to Jim’s jeans, eagerly noting the large bulge trying to break through Jim’s zipper.

“How much do your pants cost?”

“I’ll make you a deal,” Jim said as he stepped back from Donovan, his hands going to the button of his jeans. “I’ll lose the jeans if you do, too.”

Donovan was all too eager to comply. He quickly got to his feet and pulled his shirt over his head, dropping it on the floor before reaching for his jeans. As he did, his eyes came up to land on the most perfectly formed male body in the universe.

Jim was glorious! Every damn inch of him, from the top of the collar-length black hair that seemed to curl lightly around Jim’s chiseled face down to the hard-muscled chest and abdomen. Donovan’s tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth when he looked lower and spied the thick cock jutting out from Jim’s small spattering of dark hair.

Oh damn!

“Donovan?”

Donovan’s eyes flew up to meet Jim’s uncertain ones, his face burning red at being caught staring. “If I refuse to replace your shirt and jeans, will you have to go naked?” Donovan asked on a breathless whisper.

Jim looked a little puzzled, shaking his head. “No, I have more clothes at home.”

“That would be very unfortunate,” Donovan said as his eyes went back to Jim’s delectable body. “It’s a damn shame to cover up something that sexy.”

“You think I’m sexy?”

Donovan could hear the hesitation in Jim’s voice. He sent him a reassuring smile. “No, I think you’re lethal. I also think once we get settled into whichever house we decide on, clothing will be optional and highly frowned upon.”

Donovan nearly choked on his tongue as Jim reached down to caress his cock, stroking it a few times. His eyes were glued to the slow motion of Jim’s hand. He didn’t want to pull his attention away from the man, but he needed to get out of jeans and get Jim into the bed. Like now!

“Like what you see then?”

“You have no idea.” Donovan gulped.

His eyes never left Jim’s body as he quickly unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down his legs before kicking them away. As he stood to his full height, letting Jim get a look at his naked form for the first time, Donovan wondered if Jim would feel the same way about him.

“Fuck!” Jim whispered. The hand on his dick stopped as Jim’s mouth fell open. Donovan heard the stunned amazement in Jim’s voice and hoped that it was a good thing.

“I am such a dead man,” Jim groaned as he dropped his cock from his hand and reached out for Donovan’s body.

“Wha—” Donovan started to ask in confusion, and just a little apprehension. Did Jim not like what he was seeing? Donovan had never stood naked in front of another man he wanted to impress. He felt…awkward.